BearnBob Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Hi all, About to move out to Victoria in a few months time. After five years of searching we have secured a job (12 months in the first instance) that has an equitable pay to my current role, has decent benefits and even comes with a house. So all should be clear cut and we are about to hand in our resignation letters. Why then do we feel sick and are racked with doubts? Help! Bear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tina0101 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 If you look back at older threads, lots of people feel like this :-) perfectly normal, ride it out and start getting excited!! It's a roller coaster of emotions; especially as you get closer to leaving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 About to move out to Victoria in a few months time. After five years of searching we have secured a job ... Why then do we feel sick and are racked with doubts? Because it's the biggest decision of your life, so no wonder. It's time to sit down and ask yourself, why did we decide to move 5 years ago? Do those reasons REALLY still apply, or have we built a pretty good life in the meantime and those reasons have gone? Remember, Australia is not a better life these days, it's just a different one. It may not apply to you, but a lot of people get caught up in the "I've started, so I've got to finish" mentality - they've invested so much in the effort to migrate, it would feel like failure if they decided not to go - so they plough on, even though their lives have changed and they don't really want to go any more. Which is a recipe for disaster, as you'll never be happy in Australia if you're secretly regretting the move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BearnBob Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 Thanks Tina, It's that balance of moving back to Oz (lived there for a year a while ago before children) and have great vacations in recent years with the comfort and security of our current roles. We are fixated by Oz and have had the dream for soooooooo long. Just the nagging doubts at this stage are sowing those seeds. The eldest daughter would go to uni so for us this isn't for a year and we have to make it work ... would be so easy to cave in. Bear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Whatever you do, don't resign from your jobs - take a career break. Rent out your house and don't burn any bridges. Living in a place is very different from having holidays there and I've always found things harder to make work if your freedom to come and go is restricted. If it's just going to be the year then go for it but it doesn't sound permanent enough to me to chuck in the good life that you currently enjoy. It's just another first world country, nothing special. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Whatever you do, don't resign from your jobs - take a career break. Rent out your house and don't burn any bridges. Living in a place is very different from having holidays there and I've always found things harder to make work if your freedom to come and go is restricted. If it's just going to be the year then go for it but it doesn't sound permanent enough to me to chuck in the good life that you currently enjoy. It's just another first world country, nothing special. Swings and roundabouts, as we did the totally opposite,lol,(but we had planned on staying here longer term) we spoke at length together and decided selling the house, cars etc would give us more motivation to make things work IF we did get the wobbles or hit that first hurdle after moving here and it worked for us, we will celebrate 9 years later this year. Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Swings and roundabouts, as we did the totally opposite,lol,(but we had planned on staying here longer term) we spoke at length together and decided selling the house, cars etc would give us more motivation to make things work IF we did get the wobbles or hit that first hurdle after moving here and it worked for us, we will celebrate 9 years later this year. Cal x Yeh we did totally the opposite too. We had to sell the house as that was what paid for us to come. Couldn't see the sense in taking a career break as we'd no intention of going back again and we didn't feel like we wanted to have an "escape route" for want of a better description. We obviously loved it here from day 1 and feel that is special where we live. Not for everyone obviously but we were confident enough that it would work and even if it didn't we would have had to start from scratch and find a new job back in the UK. We'd done it before and felt we would manage to do it again if needs be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxlornaxx Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 If you decide not to go due to doubts will you look back and regret it in a year or so? Or are you pleased you have the choice but feel comfortable declining? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 ........all I can say .....as I have so many times before.... ........is where fills the most of your needs..... ........and many of your wants....... ........that said time and circumstance change them...... ........without a crystal ball we can only live for now...... ,,......and as far into the future as we an hope for...... ........I wish you luck...... .........choose for joy of life......now.....X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Just beware of taking advice from Oz Haters. While they like to sound reasonable they have specific biases and will have a negative mindset. You know in your hearts whether you want this or not. If you do you will make it work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Parleycross,with all due respect,I don't think any of the above posters are Oz haters.The OP asked for opinions,and from what I have read,thats what they have got.Everyone's experiences are different aren't they?Some are going to urge the OP to "Go for it" others are suggesting not to burn all the bridges. Personally I think what the OP is feeling is completely normal and justified. Most people have worked hard for what they have got,jobs,houses etc,so to put all that at risk,that no one can guarantee it will work out,well you don't have to be a rocket scientist to work out how you'd be feeling. For some people,its better they put closure on "their old life"and close all doors after they have left. For others,they like the security of choosing a career break and possibly renting out their houses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Hi all, About to move out to Victoria in a few months time. After five years of searching we have secured a job (12 months in the first instance) that has an equitable pay to my current role, has decent benefits and even comes with a house. So all should be clear cut and we are about to hand in our resignation letters. Why then do we feel sick and are racked with doubts? Help! Bear I'm not an Oz hater, even though it's not for me long term. I always wanted to come to Australia and felt incredibly lucky that I got the opportunity to via a job offer. Came for 2 years and will return after 9. I know that if I hadn't come (and I was every bit as worried as you!) I would have always regretted it and thought 'what if' It sounds like you have a similar opportunity, you are doing a brave and risky thing but you have worked for this, it has paid off and although daunting, is a great opportunity for you. You have a job and accommodation - many come with much less, and if you can keep options open (by renting your house, taking a sabbatical etc) then that would be even better. Good luck - It would be pretty strange for you not to be concerned about making such a big leap! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bound4Tassie Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Depends whether you prefer to regret something you HAVE done or regret something you HAVEN'T! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Melza, Quoll is very open about her hatred of Australia. The only thing she ever said she liked was the wide parking spaces. While it is good to get different perspectives, I think listening to people who hate the country is not a good idea. PS I don't really like to name names and there is another too in this thread who usually advises against people coming, but seeing as you have questioned me on it. I don't think quoll will mind as she has said it many times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Melza, Quoll is very open about her hatred of Australia.The only thing she ever said she liked was the wide parking spaces. While it is good to get different perspectives, I think listening to people who hate the country is not a good idea. PS I don't really like to name names and there is another too in this thread who usually advises against people coming, but seeing as you have questioned me on it. I don't think quoll will mind as she has said it many times. She has also commended Australia for the quality of it's coffee, so that's two things, and I'm sure there are more if you go through her posts. :smile: Seriously Parley, with the exception of one long-standing poster who has a very obvious grudge against the place (for good reasons I'm sure) I can't think of a single forum member who could accurately be described as 'hating' Australia. A few of us subject it to robust critical analysis from time to time, as well as a little bit of affectionate mockery, but that's not the same as 'hating' the place. To the OP, I'd say "go for it." Most Brits seem to be able to really enjoy their time here, and it's only a minority who decide it's not for them, so I'd say the odds of it being a successful venture are in your favour. Best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Can we stop discussing individual members please and get back to answering the OP. Thanks Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 PS I don't really like to name names and there is another too in this thread who usually advises against people coming, but seeing as you have questioned me on it. Maybe you're referring to me? If so you've got me totally wrong. For most of my life in Australia I've loved it here. But I think that if people are removing a whole family from a secure, happy life in the UK to come here, they're mad - unless they're so rich they don't mind chucking away several thousand pounds on an adventure. At one time, Australia offered a better life than the UK, hands down. Nowadays, Australia is not better than the UK and the UK is not better than Australia - they're different, that's all. People who are thinking of migrating want people to give them ra-ra encouragement and tell them there's nothing to worry about, because that's what they want to believe. I think there's no harm in making them THINK about whether they're doing the right thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 The point that is important though is to understand why people say what they say. People aren't impartial and personal biases probably won't be relevant for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 That's right Parley, none of us are impartial, we speak from our own very personal experience. I think that as Tink says you can't possibly predict the future so have to go with what's right for 'now'.....the acid test is tell yourself you're not going. Imagine you can't because something has fallen through...the job or the house say...how do you feel...disappointed or relieved? I think gut feelings tell us a lot. There is something to be said for not burning bridges I suppose but it can be too 'easy' to return in haste when times get tough and you mistake a bad phase/time in your life for homesickness. I know a couple who've ping ponged more than 3 times and they didn't sell their home..it's too easy for them, now they're not happy here..or there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 She has also commended Australia for the quality of it's coffee, so that's two things, and I'm sure there are more if you go through her posts. :smile: Seriously Parley, with the exception of one long-standing poster who has a very obvious grudge against the place (for good reasons I'm sure) I can't think of a single forum member who could accurately be described as 'hating' Australia. A few of us subject it to robust critical analysis from time to time, as well as a little bit of affectionate mockery, but that's not the same as 'hating' the place. To the OP, I'd say "go for it." Most Brits seem to be able to really enjoy their time here, and it's only a minority who decide it's not for them, so I'd say the odds of it being a successful venture are in your favour. Best of luck. Hang about! I like the showers too! I'm very vocal about the showers (and I stick up for Canberra most of the time too! Saddo!) With respect to this poster - they have a one year committed position thus far as I read it - there is no guarantee that the position will go beyond that in this economic world. I have no idea which visa they're planning to arrive on but if it's a 457 I sure as hell wouldn't be chucking up everything on that gamble especially with a kid heading to Uni (and international fees in that instance!). The oz lovers will note that I didn't say don't do it, just don't burn your bridges - they may love it but find they can't get work or one may love it one may not - there's a whole range of things that could happen and that safety net be welcome. We sold up when we left UK, not because we were desperate to make Aus "work" whatever that means but more because we knew our little UK adventure was done and we needed another - had we had older kids or were, ourselves much older at the time I think we might have been more circumspect! Even now, living in UK we still have our Aussie house (belt and braces!!!) I really think having or not having a fall back position has little to do with whether you decide you like living in one place or the other! You either like it or you don't. It either works for you or it doesn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BearnBob Posted January 13, 2015 Author Share Posted January 13, 2015 Guys - thanks for the advice and the healthy range of views offered. As mentioned it is initially a 12 month guaranteed post plus accommodation (3 bed house with no bills) but could well become permanent and is a very good job, comparable to what i do here. We have PR to boot so Commonwealth Assisted place for the eldest and reduced fee private ed for the youngest. Our employers are actively assisting the OH with her job but have nothing at the mo. It's a risk but not in comparison to selling everything and having no employment. As regards to our gut feeling .... its been a long dream but that doesn't quell the nausea. Bear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grahamffc Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I had a very similar moment. I think it's because the process is so long then suddenly you are about to do something (leaving a job, selling a house etc) that it is very unlikely to ever reverse. Perfectly natural. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BearnBob Posted January 13, 2015 Author Share Posted January 13, 2015 Graham, Knowing its normal certainly helps. Bear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BearnBob Posted January 15, 2015 Author Share Posted January 15, 2015 An update. We have resigned and both feel elated. Truly excited by the challenges and opportunities ahead and touched by the reaction of our colleagues. As Alexander Graham Bell once said [h=1]“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”[/h] Bear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 An update. We have resigned and both feel elated. Truly excited by the challenges and opportunities ahead and touched by the reaction of our colleagues. That's great, and shows that you're doing the right thing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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