sazm2k12 Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 I'm not sure what to do anymore. I've been in my current employment for 2 years now, my 187 visa was approved in June 2013 so already stuck out 14 months of hell on the visa but today I've hit a low point. My workload has been ridiculous for a while now. I went on a short 4 day holiday a few weeks ago and thought I would come back feeling refreshed but to be honest the day I left was so stressful I spent the whole first night/day stressed and upset with how much is put on me and that only left me with 2 days of relaxation as the last day I was also worrying about going back. My work also has a habit of deciding that because I'm going to be on leave they will give me extra work before I go and when I come back. I can kind of deal with the work load but my morale is so low and I hate my job so much that I just can't seem to suck it up anymore and despite having too much to do I spent a portion of my day procrastinating. There have been issues with a bully from the start. We had a run in last October when she reduced me to tears and after that she has lightened up a bit but all of her bullying tactics are now a bit more subtle like delegating a ridiculous amount of work to me in a really short timeframe. I've never really spoken up about her because I wanted to not cause any problems etc but management are definitely aware of how she speaks to people and have shrugged it off as how she gets stressed and everyone has to not take it personally. I don't seem to have the energy for it anymore and I'm tired and unmotivated all the time. I tried to force myself to come in with a positive attitude but the job I'm being expected to do at the moment is impossible. I tried to explain this to my manager today and he didn't really address the workload just told me how to begin. I tried to get on with it despite being super stressed which has led to me losing my temper with a colleague today. It wasn't bad and the colleague was being difficult and I apologised but I feel like things are escalating quickly as I was ready to walk out today. On top of this I'm trying to study at uni part-time and my uni work is taking a hit. Despite all of this me and my partner are finally in a position where we can enjoy our lives and everything else out here is good. I just don't know what to do - anti-depressants or some kind of medication for the final 10 months? If I leave our visa can be cancelled and I will obviously leave on bad terms so the 2 years I've already put in are wasted but if I stick it out I also run the risk of a bad reference anyway because its only a matter of time before work realises I'm under performing/have a negative attitude. I don't have any annual leave I can take either as its all used up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 A lot depends on your employment status. There is some very poor people in management here on some big ego trips. I refuse to accept differential treatment and will/have take down the line. Bully the bullies. Only communicate through e mail. A big part of the problem is close to a quarter now on casual contracts with makes them very vulnerable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambethlad Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 A friend of mine is having the same sort of problems at work as you. He went to the doctors told him how stressed he is and is now off on 4 weeks sick leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 I know someone close that done the same. Problem is at some point the impacted person must return. I fear a very common practice within the modern work place. It would give breathing space though. But the situation needs to be confronted or dealt with at some stage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sazm2k12 Posted August 12, 2014 Author Share Posted August 12, 2014 That is my problem with getting sick leave - that I will have to go back eventually and I will feel even worse when I do go back as there will be so much I will have to address. I'm on a permanent contract and have my performance review next week so was considering raising something then I don't even know where to start though/scared I will regret saying something or it will look like I'm not capable and this will be passed on when looking for future employment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Most companies should have policies about bullying and harassment - check out what yours says. Usually if conflict can't be sorted then the next step is mediation - have a chat to your HR dept for advice. Have you put into writing or spoken to your manager about how your feeling? If not and they are receptive - something can be worked out - often we suffer in silence. Have you thought of taking some sick leave? You might have a claim for workers compensation (hence the suggestion of informing your manager how you're feeling), also does your employer have access to counselling? This can also be covered by workers compensation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sazm2k12 Posted August 12, 2014 Author Share Posted August 12, 2014 Hi Ali, My company doesn't have a HR department or any policy on bullying or harassment (or anything) - I think it may say something in my contract though. It is a 4 person office with a head office interstate which isn't much bigger. I put it into writing today telling my boss I felt overwhelmed and we had a brief chat but it was more directed to just how to tackle one piece of work and I felt a bit like he avoided the real issue which is ultimately that one staff member delegates too much and has the whole office in chaos. I have my review next week so think I will have to formally address it then. I'm just worried it will impact on me getting a good reference when I come to leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Hi Ali, My company doesn't have a HR department or any policy on bullying or harassment (or anything) - I think it may say something in my contract though. It is a 4 person office with a head office interstate which isn't much bigger. I put it into writing today telling my boss I felt overwhelmed and we had a brief chat but it was more directed to just how to tackle one piece of work and I felt a bit like he avoided the real issue which is ultimately that one staff member delegates too much and has the whole office in chaos. I have my review next week so think I will have to formally address it then. I'm just worried it will impact on me getting a good reference when I come to leave. It sounds like your handling it the right way - and I would bring it up at your review too. As someone said, back things up by email after discussions ... so that you have evidence of your conversations. Good luck - hope all works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumpkin Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 For visa purposes, you do need to try and tackle this through the channels available to you and have your grievances documented. Don't just up and leave without doing that because if somebody decides to make life difficult for you they could say there was no problem at all and you just did not stick to your side of the deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vickyplum Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Trying keeping a list/book of times when you believe this person has acted unreasonably. Report it to your boss. If he won't deal with it, ask him if there is someone more appropriate you should be speaking to. I know it's horrible to deal with, but for your own mental health and happiness, you need to start acting on this. The bully needs to be dealt with and at the moment they are getting away with it and you are taking the flack for their actions. It's not fair and you need to escalate it up the chain of command and they need to deal with the bully. If her stress is an issue, that is separate and also needs management to intervene. I don't know the process, but can you involve Fair Work Australia for advice/support? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sazm2k12 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 Things have gone from bad to worse and I am struggling to even get out of bed in the morning. I went to see a doctor last week and am supposed to go back for a follow up appointment and referral. Just wondering if this is all worth it, feeling sick every night, sitting at my desk at work with just a constant feeling of unease, regularly arguing with my partner because he doesn't understand. I got through to somebody at immigration and was told what I knew I would be told that they couldn't pre-assess. I guess I'm looking for advice from somebody in the same situation or who has been. I have 7 months left to do on my visa, but have worked with my employer for over 2 years in total. Do I leave and put myself at the mercy of immigration? I am starting to get scared I'm going to really lose my temper in the office as things are upsetting me so much and every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 OK it is really hard - I was bullied for a while at a non for profit 'caring' organisation and I did fight it, at substantial risk to my health BUT I had citizenship so you must be in a really tricky place. It doesn't sound like assertively fighting things is going to make stuff worse and could improve the situation if handled well Something along the lines of "X seems to have difficulties scheduling workload - This impacts my performance as I'm delivery focused - how can we work together to sort this out?" Aussie workloads are choc a block with bullies but you need to fight back in your own way Seven months must seem like a lifetime - Do you have any allies in the workplace? Can you go over the bullies head to 'try to resolve' these issues? I had about 3-4 months of bad treatment and that was enough but I did leave with a small payout after threatening to go to Fair Work Australia - if there is any way you can manage the 7 months (including sick pay, unpaid leave etc) then take it, but a visit to the Drs is a good start to get evidence of the stress you are under... Some companies have counselling services - any chance yours offers this? Also re: references - I used an ex colleague to provide refs and not my manager from that organisation as the management were rotten all the way up (disposed of after I left but still polluting the workplace in Brisbane) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 How much annual leave do you have? I know you say you'll only have more to deal with when you get back, but a decent absence may make them realise your value. The person who's over-delegating will either have to do some work or dump the work on others, in which case they may start to complain (which will help support your cause). Sure, you'll worry for the first few days of your break, and feel stressed before you go back - but if you can manage to get away for two or three weeks, you'll get several days in the middle when you can relax, and that will do you some good. Especially if you can get away for an actual holiday. I think a referral will help a lot. Right now you have no one to talk to about this - having a sympathetic ear will probably help much more than you think. It might also be worth considering assertiveness training - it's all about how to make yourself heard without having an argument and it can be really helpful in this kind of situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 You don't say what your job is and I honestly wouldn't be putting up with it. What are your contracted hours of work? Stick to them, do as much as you can while you're there and if they load you up with more tell them to take a running jump. In a nice manner of course, just explain that you are working your contracted hours and doing as much as you can. Stop stressing about workmates, bad references, bullying. If you are working your hours and doing the work they will find it really hard to get rid of you, even if they wanted to. Do you have a Union? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sazm2k12 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 I unfortunately don't have any annual leave left to take off. I have 2 weeks booked at Xmas and 3 weeks at Easter which I have saved up over the last year. I don't have any allies at all, it is a 4 person office and too small to even have the opportunity to say anything to anyone. We have no union, no HR department, just a boss who pretends to address problems and brushes things over. I would have left this job a long time ago if I didn't want the visa, now I'm not even sure I want that anymore as just feel completely hopeless. The work load is bothering me less than the way I feel like I've been treated here. Things were bearable until last June and then another staff member started who was just as difficult so now I have it coming at me from 2 separate angles and I'm just exhausted by it all. I am supposed to delegate work to the new staff member and ever since she started it has been constant arguments and attitude and just a total power struggle as I don't think she likes taking orders from me for some unknown reason - not sure why as I'm older and more experienced than her so it can't be that I'm younger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 You're the better person hon.These people obviously have issues.Have you tried some relaxation methods to do at home after work?Its not going to stop the bullying but it will help you rise above their childish behaviour.There's plenty on You Tube,relaxation techniques,meditation methods and so on.Also library books on the subject.Sometimes at work if I feel stressed,I head for the toilet,sit down,and do some deep breathing for 5 minutes!!! Don't let the barstewards grind you down hon.Go to work with your head held high and dont let them see its affecting you.Do what work you can do in the time you've got to the best of your ability and thats all you can do.Best of luck and take care of yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petkula73 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 The best advice is to go back to your doctor and explain exactly how you feel, how the anxiety is ruining your life and how you feel unable to cope. Your doctor can then do several things: 1. Refer you to a psychologist/counsellor. 2. Deal with any physiological symptoms you have through medication. 3. Sign you off sick from work for a period of time. I was in a similar situation to you roughly this time last year. My employer was making widescale redundancies and I was told my job was going. I was on a 457 and have a child in school here and a wife to support. At the same time, I was also in the middle of legal dispute, my wife had just quit her job after ending up working 80 hours a week for six months as her employer continued to make cuts, and my daughter was stuggling in school. The mistake I made was I left things too late before I acknowledged the symptoms. I spend several months suffering from severe anxiety - constantly feeling tense and nervous, butterflies in the stomach constantly, ready to have an arguement with my wife at about almost anything. After months of beating myself up, took medical help and after some excellent counselling I quickly got my anxiety levels down to normal. My regret is I didn't do this months previously as I could have saved my family and I a lot of pain. No job, or jumped up little bastard at work is worth ruining your life over, so please go and seek some professional help here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kapri Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 I unfortunately don't have any annual leave left to take off. I have 2 weeks booked at Xmas and 3 weeks at Easter which I have saved up over the last year. I don't have any allies at all, it is a 4 person office and too small to even have the opportunity to say anything to anyone. We have no union, no HR department, just a boss who pretends to address problems and brushes things over. I would have left this job a long time ago if I didn't want the visa, now I'm not even sure I want that anymore as just feel completely hopeless. The work load is bothering me less than the way I feel like I've been treated here. Things were bearable until last June and then another staff member started who was just as difficult so now I have it coming at me from 2 separate angles and I'm just exhausted by it all. I am supposed to delegate work to the new staff member and ever since she started it has been constant arguments and attitude and just a total power struggle as I don't think she likes taking orders from me for some unknown reason - not sure why as I'm older and more experienced than her so it can't be that I'm younger. I really feel for you. You are in a difficult situation and it sounds like you are now becoming depressed. its very important to get your depression treated so you can cope with this. See your GP about counselling and anti-depressant medication, plus a couple of weeks off to recover and gain some strength. When you get back, keep a record of any bullying and start plotting your escape by making sure CV's are up to date, you are making contacts, and getting any training needed. As soon as you are PR, get the hell out of there. Best of luck - I spent 3 years in a job I hated, never again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petkula73 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 keep a record of any bullying Really important this if you are being bullied in the workplace. If you have a record of who said what and when you will have a very strong case for bringing a grievance against your bully. 99 times out of 100 your company will side with whoever is more senior (it's normally the manager who is the bully), so a properly documented history of what has happened undermines any bollocks your company comes up with. My wife was bullied in the UK. Her manager was an absolute pig of a man and she got to the point where she could not bring herself to come in to work any more. The company sided with him and she had to go through all sorts of stupid "impartial interviews" from a third party reconcilliator, who incidentally was being paid by the company for various other pieces of work - any guesses whose side they came back on? Anyway, the company found in favour of the bully and came up with some bullshit improvement plans to pay lip service to the bits they were clearly culpable for. So my wife followed their HR procedure and appealed, but this time involved an employment lawyer. One letter from him and hey presto they offered her a severance package worth over half a year's salary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sazm2k12 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 I went to see a doctor yesterday and was given a referral to a psychologist and also some anti-depressants. I phoned in work sick this morning, I just couldn't get out of bed and face going there the thought made me so scared. I called my employer and told him I wouldn't be coming in and he was really quite abrupt. He asked if I was unwell and I explained I was feeling very low and that I had been advised by my doctor to take a few days off work. Now I am wondering if I should have just said I had a stomach ache. My partner really wants me to just hand my notice in next week and leave and put ourselves at the mercy of immigration. The thought of even another day at my work never mind another 7 months really is unbearable. Would anyone really suggest not doing that though? I have read as much as I can and I believe I have made a genuine effort to stay but obviously immigration could take a completely different view. At this moment in time being sent back to the UK is better than living like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 I went to see a doctor yesterday and was given a referral to a psychologist and also some anti-depressants. I phoned in work sick this morning, I just couldn't get out of bed and face going there the thought made me so scared. I called my employer and told him I wouldn't be coming in and he was really quite abrupt. He asked if I was unwell and I explained I was feeling very low and that I had been advised by my doctor to take a few days off work. Now I am wondering if I should have just said I had a stomach ache. My partner really wants me to just hand my notice in next week and leave and put ourselves at the mercy of immigration. The thought of even another day at my work never mind another 7 months really is unbearable. Would anyone really suggest not doing that though? I have read as much as I can and I believe I have made a genuine effort to stay but obviously immigration could take a completely different view. At this moment in time being sent back to the UK is better than living like this. If you feel like that I should take your partners advice and hand in your notice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe strummer Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 no job on earth is worth so much stress. Actively look for somewhere else, give your self a time limit to remain where you are then leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 If you are considering handing in notice anyway, I'd consider extending sick pay until they actively terminate you. Then you would have a case of constructive dismissal - as well as getting GP on side, it would be great to seek advice from someone in HR/legal - not sure how expensive employment lawyers are but would be good to understand your rights and you wouldn't feel so alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Don't give up. Get stuck in. Challenge the behaviour. Record everything. Communicate through e mails. Don't make yourself an easy target. Bullying or mobbing is rather rampant especially in NGO's, I truly pity those on time contracts. All to many I'm afraid these days have to shut up and live in hope their contract will be renewed. You have sick leave. Take it. A month is fairly easy to get off from a sympathetic doctor. You can seek out professional help. A note of caution. Do chose your psychologist well. Some dud jobs out there. Know a few. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 If you are considering handing in notice anyway, I'd consider extending sick pay until they actively terminate you. Then you would have a case of constructive dismissal - as well as getting GP on side, it would be great to seek advice from someone in HR/legal - not sure how expensive employment lawyers are but would be good to understand your rights and you wouldn't feel so alone Constructive Dismissal is really not an easy case to win. And it involves resigning after you have exhausted the grievance procedures. To the OP I'd be seeking legal advise before I did any such thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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