Anyone living in Australia but with their kids, grandkids in the UK?

[tillyd]

How do you deal with it and have you found a way to make it work?

[starlight7]

I am not in this position right now but I have been in the past. We phoned a lot and I guess at that time I totally filled my life with various activities and friends so I didn't have much free time. The part of my family who I am closest to are about to go and live in Japan for some time- though they will be returning so not quite the same as you. These days you have skype of course and I imagine that would help.

[the bottler]

I have a son , daughter-in-law , three grandchildren in the UK ... Skype and FaceTime helps tremendously ...

[Bridgeman]

We came to Oz to join our daughter and family 3 years ago under the impression that our other child would be following soon. He still hasn't moved over and not sure if he will now. We miss him a lot and are not in a position to travel back and forth regularly, so it's very difficult. I think we miss him more than he misses us. Hoping to meet up with him soon somewhere halfway but it is heartbreaking.

[Shellybingobingo]

H have a son in uk , and a grandson who I haven't met yet who was born in dec , it's a killer to be honest , although I feel more at home in brissie than perth , I still think I go home tomoz if it wasn't for my two boys I have here with me . Not sure what I would do really although I'm dying get back to meet me grandson, but the cost of moving to perth , then setting up in perth , then the cost of moving to brissie and starting again here , it's like none stop paying out for 20 months , me son should come in July we shall see if not I'll end up flying back there once me boys are settled here , and if I go back they have just moved out the area I lived so how often would I see them anyway .

 

 

keep having family say come back we miss you , and I miss them more my son than anybody , but if I give in and go back my hubbies parents haven't even so much has had us up for Xmas they are all my oh sisters kids , mine never got a look in it's a difficult one really , but my oh doesn't do things to suit other people he does it to suit us so he says he'll see how work goes for a while , carnt say anymore than that really apart from I should of stayed put in uk haha but then I suppose I would of always wondered .

[Lostlily]

How do you deal with it and have you found a way to make it work?

 

If you are still in the UK and contemplating coming over here. My advice is that it is not worth the heartbreak. I am in this position as one of my daughters has moved back to the uk and has n 18 month old, but I also have a daughter here with 2 kids.

I cannot begin to explain the pain!

[Lostlily]

We came to Oz to join our daughter and family 3 years ago under the impression that our other child would be following soon. He still hasn't moved over and not sure if he will now. We miss him a lot and are not in a position to travel back and forth regularly, so it's very difficult. I think we miss him more than he misses us. Hoping to meet up with him soon somewhere halfway but it is heartbreaking.

 

I know,

I am wasting away inside with grief because I am in a similar position.

[Quoll]

I'm a little at odds here - it actually doesn't bother me. I don't let it bother me really because, if I did, I'd probably go bonkers. In the same way as I, very selfishly, took my parents' only grandchild to the other side of the world I don't live my life for the grand kids - I'm not enmeshed with them although they lived on our block for 3 years and we were defacto parents there for a while. I will always have grand kids on the other side of the world as my UK son and his wife are expecting in August. I won't be enmeshed with this one either. We make do with pictures every now and again and the odd Skype call but we can go months without Skyping - worse than useless most of the time and the 3 yr old can't work out why Mops lives in a box on the desk.

 

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm not that wrapped up in them that not being with them hurts. In an ideal world I would be visiting every year but with 90 yr old parents who can't be left I'm not in a position to do that unfortunately. I do occasionally get a little pang when I see kids of the same age in the town but nothing I can do about it.

[Shellybingobingo]

I'm a little at odds here - it actually doesn't bother me. I don't let it bother me really because, if I did, I'd probably go bonkers. In the same way as I, very selfishly, took my parents' only grandchild to the other side of the world I don't live my life for the grand kids - I'm not enmeshed with them although they lived on our block for 3 years and we were defacto parents there for a while. I will always have grand kids on the other side of the world as my UK son and his wife are expecting in August. I won't be enmeshed with this one either. We make do with pictures every now and again and the odd Skype call but we can go months without Skyping - worse than useless most of the time and the 3 yr old can't work out why Mops lives in a box on the desk.

 

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm not that wrapped up in them that not being with them hurts. In an ideal world I would be visiting every year but with 90 yr old parents who can't be left I'm not in a position to do that unfortunately. I do occasionally get a little pang when I see kids of the same age in the town but nothing I can do about it.

 

 

 

It bothers me more than my hubby to be honest , I just need a trip back ASAP really , went back last May for my sons passing out parade , to be greeted with his oh is pregnant can I carry on paying the mortgage lol , so I did and they have managed save a deposit to get on the property ladder themselves now , and have just moved In it , so it makes me feel better is that theve had a better start than me and my oh ever did and I send baby 100 dollars a month back , think they just want me back sometimes so they won't have pay child are costs in sept when his oh starts work because he will know I will do it if I were there feel a bit guilty really lol

[rammygirl]

One son here in Oz the other in the UK. TBH though if we had stayed in the UK odds are they would have ended up moving away, one has already lived away for a year and has global horizons!

 

we decided to move for us, we don't expect family to stay anywhere for our benefit either.

 

skype and FaceTime are good, our son in UK opened his birthday gifts from us on FaceTime and 'sat' with us at our evening meal for a chat on the iPad. Even though he had just got up!

 

I think these days people are much more mobile and families are often split even in the UK and don't meet up very often. Kids don't assume they will stay in the UK either, they can and do move away.

 

Yes it is especially hard when someone is ill,born,dies,gets married etc. But that has happened to me whilst I have been out of the country on holiday.

 

it is one of the things you do need to factor in. It really depends how emotionally dependent on the you are.

[Keith and Linda]

We left number one son in the UK he has since settled down and now there are 2 grandchildren in the UK, we have a son and daughter with son in law here in OZ. Like you shellybingobingo it is my wife whom suffers more, but we have never been put on a guilt trip or any emotional blackmail by any of our kids or in fact our parents, we have all always encouraged each and every one of us to lead our own lives and be supportive of each other in doing so and we deal with the logistics as and when they come up.

Our Grand daughters think it's great that they have some relatives so far away in Australia, we are lucky in that we are able to visit UK every 12-18 months, and they have been over here a couple of times and great times are had by all. Our daughter married a Aussie soldier from Perth but live near us in Brisbane so we are better off than the other inlaws, but we know that may change and kids could come along there soon too, but that would be their decision and we and they know that.

 

Except and enjoy what you can and when you can don't eat yourself up over it, it will wear you down and those closer to you.

Best wishes. Keith & Linda

[Shellybingobingo]

We left number one son in the UK he has since settled down and now there are 2 grandchildren in the UK, we have a son and daughter with son in law here in OZ. Like you shellybingobingo it is my wife whom suffers more, but we have never been put on a guilt trip or any emotional blackmail by any of our kids or in fact our parents, we have all always encouraged each and every one of us to lead our own lives and be supportive of each other in doing so and we deal with the logistics as and when they come up.

Our Grand daughters think it's great that they have some relatives so far away in Australia, we are lucky in that we are able to visit UK every 12-18 months, and they have been over here a couple of times and great times are had by all. Our daughter married a Aussie soldier from Perth but live near us in Brisbane so we are better off than the other inlaws, but we know that may change and kids could come along there soon too, but that would be their decision and we and they know that.

 

Except and enjoy what you can and when you can don't eat yourself up over it, it will wear you down and those closer to you.

Best wishes. Keith & Linda

 

 

 

Yes you are right , don't think me boy means it I think it's because I'm all he's got lol but think he's realising now , but it's me own fault in away because I've always spoilt em and made life easy for them . I think my parents don't mean it it's just that they like the thought we are there , they down their caravan 7 months the year anyway , me oh mum and dad never really bothered with us , but now we not there different story , saying oh sisters missing her brother ect... Never bothered before it's the thought we not on the doorstep I think lol , oh well just keep plodding , I hope me son will come out to stay eventually but his oh is from a massive close family so I very much doubt it lol , when settled I'll go back and have a couple of month with em soon best wishes to you too :biggrin:

[Delaneym]

I am here alone nsw and my two sons in uk. I'm actually on a holiday in uk for eldest sons wedding as I type.Will they come to Australia to work etc ? No idea... Will I ever move back to uk? No idea... Life is a journey and I miss them every day but not the uk. I take every day and it comes and I'm not in exile and I know that even if I move back they are grown men and have their own life..in fact I could move back and they emigrate somewhere...so I have no tips or ideas I just tell you that I am happy in Australia for many reasons that I wasn't in the uk... I miss them very much but not enough to pack up and leave... And I came here divorced after a long marriage with no friends etc here but am finding my feet and learning to get to know me!

[carlhall]

I have a son and a daughter in the UK and since being here my son and his partner have given me two grandsons, his divorce from his first wife became final and my daughter has started what looks like a serious relationship with a rugby player.

 

How do I cope? I use Skype and the telephone. It can be hard at times as an example my son announced he was getting engaged but I only found out on facebook. My grandchildren know me at the granddad in Australia, I have never seen them face to face, only on Skype.

 

If you come here try to make plans to return and see your family every couple of years or when ever you can. but if you leave family at home you have to also come with the knowledge that despite your best intentions or plans circumstances may not let you return and you may not see you family again.

 

Good luck with your choice its not always easy or clear cut.

[Rallyman]

I have 2 daughters back in uk from my first marriage my youngest was 18 yesterday which was very tough and my eldest 22 , since we have been out here my eldest has been over 4 times spending better quality time than we ever spent living less than a mile away , the youngest just the once but both coming out again in jan so looking forward to that.

face time is a god send it's been tough at times miss them like mad .

i went back in feb for first time in nearly 4 years was great to see family and friends but oz is home for now ,life is tough only regret what you have never done not what you have done.

[Lindor]

I have a Daughter and 3 Granddaughters in the UK. I moved to Australia 16 months ago and I'm currently on my 4th trip home. We Facebook message daily and FaceTime 2-3 times a week. I have days when I think WTF have I done and I can't believe I left them.

[tabitha10]

Hi there i havent made the move as of yet but it is on the cards, as i have applied for the parent visa,which is far too expensive to allow us to travel back and forth from Aus to Uk very often...how on earth do people manage? especially if they are retired. We will have to work when we get there so to find jobs ASAP, after spending all that money on the visa it will leave us skint, so listening to others views is helpful, my daughter lives in Aus and son in Uk so where ever i am i will be in the 'wrong' place !

[beach pig]

No grand kids yet thankfully but got my parents (my kids grandparents) and siblings nieces,nephew in uk who have same dilemma,as we are here and they are there.same perspective I suppose in the fact it is quite lonely when so far away.

[Que Sera Sera]

All my children are here in Australia so I'm lucky but my eldest two live in Brisbane and the youngest one is still here in Perth. Who knows what the future holds really, they may go back to the UK one day or we might or we could all end up living somewhere completely different. I get bored easily and can't imagine living in one place for the rest of my life.

[beach pig]

All my children are here in Australia so I'm lucky but my eldest two live in Brisbane and the youngest one is still here in Perth. Who knows what the future holds really, they may go back to the UK one day or we might or we could all end up living somewhere completely different. I get bored easily and can't imagine living in one place for the rest of my life.

 

Thats it que Sara .nothing is forever and you can get bored quickly/easily nothing wrong with that,it just means you have adventure inside you wether it be forced or by choice good on ya for that girl .everyone has a reason and it is theirs only.

[Shellybingobingo]

I have a Daughter and 3 Granddaughters in the UK. I moved to Australia 16 months ago and I'm currently on my 4th trip home. We Facebook message daily and FaceTime 2-3 times a week. I have days when I think WTF have I done and I can't believe I left them.

 

 

I FaceTime and skype my boy when I can it's difficult because the time difference , and he works shifts , so I have to remember his rest days and then he's out shopping or whatever.... Know he's moved in his house he's saying to me to stay put now , and I've just moved in a new house in brissie , friendliest people bought me cakes and truffles around all the street welcomed me , so nice , it's the first time yesterday after being in oz 20 months , I'm starting to feel a bit at home in brisbane good move I think , from perth , but I still think wtf everyday carnt believe I have put myself through it to be honest .

 

Nevermind nd though nothing's forever just run with it for now , my hubbie like it and my other two boys do , think I would be better if me lad and grandson were here but , me hubby said soon I can have best of both worlds soon has we've settled the other two here , nothing stopping me going back for a couple of month , so that made me feel better lol :biggrin:

[tillyd]

It's seems that some cope better than others and there isn't anything wrong with that. We also cope better some days than other.

 

However I was very close to my grandparents, and my kids are very close to my parents. I guess I'd like the same relationship with my grandchildren but sometimes I feel like that I shouldn't. I feel almost weak not being able to just live here and accept seeing them on skype but I cannot help the way I was brought up or the way I feel.