kellyjamie Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 evening all, as i type i am in a hotel room with hubby and daughter surrounded by all our worldy belongings whilst my eyes are stinging through tiredness and having been crying generally most of the day! we have had a couple of crap days as does/will everyone who goes thru this. But today was hard, very very hard and i feel totally exhausted now. Last nite we had dinner with my parents which went better than i expected and the plan was to say farewell (my mums choice) but i said to make it a little easier they said goodbye to my daughter last nite then myself and hubby went up this morning. We said we will text asap we land and then will call over the weekend i gave them both a huge hug said i loved them and then came away. It was horrid and i cried and cried in the car. i had to go to the bank right after to close an account and whilst talking to the lady i started crying again!!! on top of that our bestest friends in the world who are taking us to the airport, she has been crying now and then so getting it out but he has said nowt and just kind of got on with it until today, he says he feels like he hit a brick wall and it all became reality so he broke down at work and had to go home!! we had dinner with them tonite and it was tough, very. tomorrow we fly and its just our friends and my son at the airport, not really looking forward to it, at all. knew this would be hard, but im also sooooooo grateful to have good friends meeting us at the other side. so time for bed as now im peering out of one stinging eye and my head is splitting! goodnite all:SLEEP: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest79615 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 wow that sounds tough...i will be interested to hear if other people felt same when they said goodbyes..i haven't thought about what it will be like really..when do you think you will see them all again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyjamie Posted January 29, 2013 Author Share Posted January 29, 2013 parents coming out in august, our BFs prob not till next year. i suppose people deal with it all differently, but for all three of us we have found it very difficult Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 wow that sounds tough...i will be interested to hear if other people felt same when they said goodbyes..i haven't thought about what it will be like really..when do you think you will see them all again? It does sound tough, makes me wonder is it worth it. Why move when it causes such levels of grief? I must admit, when I moved I didn't even tear up. We had a big family dinner before we left and it was all very jolly. Possibly the difference is that we didn't live near family so was already pretty independent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest79615 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 are you happy and excited too though? parents coming out in august, our BFs prob not till next year. i suppose people deal with it all differently, but for all three of us we have found it very difficult Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyjamie Posted January 29, 2013 Author Share Posted January 29, 2013 oh absolutely! i cant wait now and il be even more so at the airport. its just taken it out of us today but i know we,ll be fine :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 That wasn't the difference in my case Rupert. When we moved the first time, I drove all the way from Norfolk, where we were living to Cheshire, where my parents live, sobbing all the way (I was driving!!). I had my three children who were under 5 and my poor 13 year old niece in the car. My eldest was 4 and when we got to Cheshire she said, "mummy, do you think this is really a good idea?"!! I'm sure you'll be fine once you're on the plane and at least you have friends meeting you. We had a smelly, cold hospital house where we found urine soaked blankets in the cupboards and no cleaning equipment. And it was raining, windy and cold! Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 You'll be fine eventually, must be really hard. Id probably be the same - im close to my mum. Have a safe trip and have fun! X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway1 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 sounds like you'll be alright with everyone coming over to see you. But it is hard. good luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoP Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 evening all, as i type i am in a hotel room with hubby and daughter surrounded by all our worldy belongings whilst my eyes are stinging through tiredness and having been crying generally most of the day! we have had a couple of crap days as does/will everyone who goes thru this. But today was hard, very very hard and i feel totally exhausted now. Last nite we had dinner with my parents which went better than i expected and the plan was to say farewell (my mums choice) but i said to make it a little easier they said goodbye to my daughter last nite then myself and hubby went up this morning. We said we will text asap we land and then will call over the weekend i gave them both a huge hug said i loved them and then came away. It was horrid and i cried and cried in the car. i had to go to the bank right after to close an account and whilst talking to the lady i started crying again!!! on top of that our bestest friends in the world who are taking us to the airport, she has been crying now and then so getting it out but he has said nowt and just kind of got on with it until today, he says he feels like he hit a brick wall and it all became reality so he broke down at work and had to go home!! we had dinner with them tonite and it was tough, very. tomorrow we fly and its just our friends and my son at the airport, not really looking forward to it, at all. knew this would be hard, but im also sooooooo grateful to have good friends meeting us at the other side. so time for bed as now im peering out of one stinging eye and my head is splitting! goodnite all:SLEEP: Hi Kellyjamie Im reading your post and its like rewinding 2 months for me. We did that in Nov, I had 3 days with family whilst my husband was at work saying goodbys before getting on the train and meet him at the airport ready to fly the following day. I was exhausted, emotional and felt very low and selfish for upsetting everyone. It was a relief when it was just us again as I could feel excited again. We have been here for 3 months now and I absolutely love it my parents are coming over in 2 weeks and my husbands parent come over in April. I really hope once they get here they will understand why we choose to move. Keep your chin up, you have done the hardest bits now. Enjoy your flight I loved it as It was so nice just to relax for a while after the frantic months we had before. xxxxxxxxxxx JoP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigyboy Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 evening all, as i type i am in a hotel room with hubby and daughter surrounded by all our worldy belongings whilst my eyes are stinging through tiredness and having been crying generally most of the day! we have had a couple of crap days as does/will everyone who goes thru this. But today was hard, very very hard and i feel totally exhausted now. Last nite we had dinner with my parents which went better than i expected and the plan was to say farewell (my mums choice) but i said to make it a little easier they said goodbye to my daughter last nite then myself and hubby went up this morning. We said we will text asap we land and then will call over the weekend i gave them both a huge hug said i loved them and then came away. It was horrid and i cried and cried in the car. i had to go to the bank right after to close an account and whilst talking to the lady i started crying again!!! on top of that our bestest friends in the world who are taking us to the airport, she has been crying now and then so getting it out but he has said nowt and just kind of got on with it until today, he says he feels like he hit a brick wall and it all became reality so he broke down at work and had to go home!! we had dinner with them tonite and it was tough, very. tomorrow we fly and its just our friends and my son at the airport, not really looking forward to it, at all. knew this would be hard, but im also sooooooo grateful to have good friends meeting us at the other side. so time for bed as now im peering out of one stinging eye and my head is splitting! goodnite all:SLEEP: good luck with the future. It will all settle down and be worth all the stress. Your nerves and emotions must be all over place. In a year you will look back and contemplate the best decision you ever made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Try not to allow yourself to get too upset. We read on here so often of people who miss their friends and family and end up giving up and going back to the UK after a few months. You need to be able to be a bit selfish and self reliant to get through the initial home sickness periods. Put this crying behind you straight away and move forward positively. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyjamie Posted January 29, 2013 Author Share Posted January 29, 2013 Thankyou everyone, and your all correct. Im shattered tonite but i know tomorrow will be much more exciting xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kapri Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Best of luck Kelly. Once you're there, hopefully you will be able to relax and start to enjoy it. I am a few months behind you. I have done the nursing registration process, told family & friends (who were upset) and now our house sale is about to complete. I am shattered and at the moment I am wondering why I'm putting myself through all this. The whole process turns your life upside down but just try and think about relaxing on the beach with the sun on your (SPF protected) skin :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake max Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Good luck your future awaits best wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warren&liz Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Hi kellyjamie. Know how you feel, I felt like my heart had been ripped out when I was leaving. Once you are on your way though you will be OK. Also knowing you have family coming to visit is a real boost once you are here. Gives you a reason to get on with it and show everyone you did the right thing. Which you are. All the best Liz x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramsay Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Thank you for posting your feelings and emotions. My partner, 18month old daughter and I are flying in 3 weeks. Everyone is really pleased for us apart from my mam. She says she would never wish us bad luck but is refusing to be "over the moon" for us. It's starting to do my head in, I don't need her emotional guilt. We're having a meal the night before we fly and I'm dreading it just because of how she will be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Brings back memories - very bitter sweet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BertieBear Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I remember sitting on the train from Inverness to Edinburgh, having just said goodbye to my parents. Tears streaming and such a weight and emptiness in my gut. It gets easier. This is IT! You dream is coming true... One quote I used to get me through initially was; "Leap, and the net will appear". Leap, and the net will appear.... good luck. BertieB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crackerjack Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Thank you for posting your feelings and emotions. My partner, 18month old daughter and I are flying in 3 weeks. Everyone is really pleased for us apart from my mam. She says she would never wish us bad luck but is refusing to be "over the moon" for us. It's starting to do my head in, I don't need her emotional guilt. We're having a meal the night before we fly and I'm dreading it just because of how she will be. What an awkward bugger your mum is, 'refusing' to be over the moon at the thought of the people she loves living on the other side of the world. What an odd woman and how totally selfish. Now rewind.... This is agonisingly painful for your mum. Remember this is your dream not hers. she is already in knots. Don't tie her up into any more knots expecting her to hide all her feelings just to keep you happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest79615 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 awww the wee forgotten mums! lol my mum just pretends its not happening, whenever i bring it up she changes the subject so I'll just let her get on with dealing with it whichever way is easiest for her...i think once the mums hear how great you are getting on and how happy you are they will feel better...and they brought us up to be brave, independent and adventurous so they cant complain now! What an awkward bugger your mum is, 'refusing' to be over the moon at the thought of the people she loves living on the other side of the world. What an odd woman and how totally selfish. Now rewind.... This is agonisingly painful for your mum. Remember this is your dream not hers. she is already in knots. Don't tie her up into any more knots expecting her to hide all her feelings just to keep you happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyt Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 What an awkward bugger your mum is, 'refusing' to be over the moon at the thought of the people she loves living on the other side of the world. What an odd woman and how totally selfish. Now rewind.... This is agonisingly painful for your mum. Remember this is your dream not hers. she is already in knots. Don't tie her up into any more knots expecting her to hide all her feelings just to keep you happy. Yes you'reright, how bloody selfish can some people be, deciding on their own destiny, rather than just putting up with where they're parents have decided they should be born!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I can see it from both sides but my mums always been really good and said if i move then she'd be happy for me and wants me to see more of the world. Shes also said she'd come over when shes older if she could get a granny visa lol. I dont imagine its nice saying goodbye esp if your a only child! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crackerjack Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Yes you'reright, how bloody selfish can some people be, deciding on their own destiny, rather than just putting up with where they're parents have decided they should be born!!!! I don't think they are doing wrong in emigrating. that is for every adult to decide. And the mum is not asking them not to go, She is just not faking joy and happiness. I think expecting her to is selfish! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyt Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I don't think they are doing wrong in emigrating. that is for every adult to decide. And the mum is not asking them not to go, She is just not faking joy and happiness. I think expecting her to is selfish! Well I believe she is being selfish. My mother emigrated to the Caribbean a few years ago and even though I knew I was going to miss her, I would never have told her I didn't want her to go. I think you're confusing loosing your young children to the emigration process and grown up children whom choose to emigrate. People should respect your decision and wish you well, anything less I believe is selfish and they're putting their own needs above your own! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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