crackerjack Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 No I am not confusing my situation with this one, and I think that is a very patronising suggestion. If you look two people have given me a like for my first post. is that only because they have lost younger children through emigration also? I know if I wanted to emigrate, I would not expect my mum to fake happiness for me. I would hope she would not get vindictive, but I would not expect her to be anything less than honest about the pain my migration would bring her, particularly if there was a child involved, her grandchild. Deep down I would know it would be causing her pain anyway, so why should she fake happiness I know deep down she could not feel. We are very up front in my family, and I would not have it any other way. Berating her for sharing her sadness would strike me as deeply selfish, hence I would not do it. P.S I don't think the poster said her mum said she should not go, just 'refused' to be over the moon about them going like the other members of the family. You can't make yourself be over the moon when you're not, so what this mother is really doing, is refusing to fake happiness she does not feel, not 'refusing' to be over the moon. I have read nothing about her telling them not to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest79615 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 i think no loving mum will be overly excited by the prospect of their son/daughter being on the other side of the world..apart from missing them there is the worry of whether they will be safe and if they will be happy or disappointed... it must be hard to be happy and sad at the same time and i think thats what mums feel, my mum says little as it upsets her to think about it just yet, sometimes she will say "ooh that sounds great" with a blank expression and i know her stomach is in knots as her heart says "omg she going to die if im not in same country as her" lol but at the same time she tells all her friends how proud she is of me for doing it and how exciting it will be (i know she doesn't want me to go but she wont say that) so sometimes mums might express one emotion more than the other at times..its not selfish its just real life.. i think it would be selfish to ask them to stay though for no real reason, however some families are just brutally honest with each other and that suits a lot of people... on the other hand my husbands mum couldn't care less and he doesn't even get a b'day/christams card now she has a new man...so when your mum is sad and perhaps asks you to stay be grateful you mean so much to her..not everyone has people to miss them.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest79615 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 or dad actually!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n1amh Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 hi, i'm 13 and my dad moved to VIC in late october 2012. he came home for christmas this year,it could possibly of been the last time he saw our family for a long time(besides skype etc). my uncle lives in WA,and he is mainly the reason we all want to move. it is for definite that me,my mam and brother are moving this summer, but my friends have been getting upset about it already. i am dreading my last day unbelievable amounts. it will be the hardest day of my life. i am already worried about having to join a new school and make new friends. i can guarantee it wont be easy. reading this from you has made me realise how big of a deal it is to actually move to the other side of the world. however,i hope you got to Australia safe and sound! always think of the benefits of moving to Australia,most british people would never move back to England! Enjoy AU xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Yes you'reright, how bloody selfish can some people be, deciding on their own destiny, rather than just putting up with where they're parents have decided they should be born!!!! Nobody said that people cannot decide for themselves. But have simply encouraged some compassion, this is very hard for people left behind. Much harder than for those that are going as the left behinds have no say. Surely most mums and dads deserve some compassion when their heart is breaking at the idea of their child living in the other side of the world. This mum just said she can't pretend to be over the moon, she has not threatened to top herself if they go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I definately would'nt pretend to be happy about it.Whats the point?I guess for those emigrating,imagine how you would feel in a few years time if you are living in Australia and your own kids announce that they are moving back to the UK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulip Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Referring to the OP's first post, I think you say it all love, you're exhausted and when you're exhausted you can become very emotional. I know how you feel, and it does break your heart to think of all the pain you're causing your loved ones, and how much you'll miss them too. All you can do is remember, this too will pass just like any other stage of adjustment you've been through before. Sometimes life is hard, sometimes it's hard to adjust, for everyone. I know that my mum is very upset about us going. She doesn't always say it, but when she does, it totally floors me. She's very British, she's very stiff upper lip; she would always say that she wants me to be happy and if moving to Aus means I'm happy, she'll always be supportive. But I really can't ask her to be 'over the moon' about it, of course I can't, I'm her daughter and she won't see me for about 12 months. I'd be a bit upset if she WAS over the moon to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reen Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 kelly diehards survive - you are a glass half-full mentalist I wish you the best, I followed your posts.......welcome to Australia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaC Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Good luck to you. I hope that you are all settling ok and am really looking forward to hearing how Australia is turning out for you all. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest26012 Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Good luck Hun! Hope all goes well for you! Brings back memories! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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