Small Doubts

[mikef]

Hi All

 

I am 32 years old with a wife, and 2 little girls. My wife has never travelled to Oz, where I have back in 2001 and loved it. I really wanted to move of shortly after I came back but wife, girlfriend at time did not want to. Since then I got married and had 2 little girls aged 5 & 3. They really enjoy playing outside come rain or shine they want to go out and play.

 

So now we have a family my wife has warmed to the idea of making the move over to Oz and trusting me when I say she will love it. But there is just something in the back of my mind say don’t do it. As my life is good at the moment, with a good job, good friends and family support, I just doubt if this is the right move for my family. I feel it is. And that the girls will get so much more out of life living down under.

 

Is there anyone else who is sharing my small doubts regarding the move?

 

Mike:biggrin:

[whichway1]

It is a tough decision and even tougher when you are settled and supported here in the uk. Just out of curiosity where are you thinking of moving to and why do you think it'll be a better life for the little ones? There will always be something at the back of your mind, but it sounds like your gut says go.

[mikef]

Hi Whichway1

 

Thanks for reply.

 

We r thinking Perth at the moment, as WA offered a state sponsorship for my trade. But now I have found out that most of states in Oz support the sponsorship. So we are back to researching. House prices, Jobs Etc.

 

In regards to your question about why i feel it will be a better for my girls. Like I said the girls are very outgoing when it comes playing, I work all week and come the week end we are limited to what we can do due to the weather. Oz offers so much more for less in regards to family life and family time with the like of better parks and lots of family activities which most of them are free. Also the main reason for most is the weather. Look I not saying that the UK is a bad place to live, as I have lived here all my life, and it has not done me any harm. But as a parent you feel you want the best for your family and I feel deep down that this is the right move.

[matimage]

Hmm.

We are moving out on 5th Dec (yay!) and we have 2 girls at 2 and 4. Basically for most of the same reasons you have mentioned.

There is one big difference though, our family is scattered all over the place and we have no support at all. The reasons most people give when returning is because of family. I don't think this is going to be a big deal for us but it sounds like you have a great support network and I would think very hard before leaving that.

Hope my 2 cents helps...

[caramac]

We moved to Perth when our older two girls were the ages your two are now, for pretty much the same reasons you have. (I remember getting three under 4s ready to go out in the winter and thinking there had to be more to life than this!) We, and they, had a fabulous time. Time at the beach when it wasn't too hot, play parks everywhere, lovely school, swimming lessons, good friends etc etc.

 

When they were nine, seven and five we came back to the UK. I wasn't at all sure about it, but life for the girls went on just the same. They were older and joined Brownies, Rainbows, Cubs and went on various camps with them. They had swimming, drama and riding lessons and were at a great school. As they got older they joined a Sea Scout troop and learned to sail, kayak, windsurf etc and spent Easters doing those activities on the Norfolk Broads, sleeping in cruisers for a week with all their friends. The weather was generally kind to them, but even when it wasn't they still had a ball. Kids really don't seem to notice the weather in the same way adults do.

They have represented their school, scouts, and swimming clubs in various competitions.

 

In 2009 my oh was offered what looked like a great job in Sydney. The girls were 14, 12 and 10 which seemed like a good time to move - before exams, so off we went again. It was lovely to be in Australia again.The girls joined the swimming club, drama club, diving club etc. The eldest did her bronze D of E. we lived in a nice house with a pool and went to the beach, although the girls weren't all that interested. However, the older two were miserable at school - nothing to do with the 'system', just the school we'd carefully chosen. We looked at other schools, but the one they were at had been recommended by lots of people and we hadn't heard brilliant things about a few of the others. We had to make a quick decision because the eldest had already missed the first term of her GCSE courses, so I brought them back to them to the UK.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, go if that's what you and your wife want - it's a great experience even if you decide to come back, but in my opinion it's not necessarily better for children there, especially as they get older. It's not worse either, in fact there are more similarites than differences. I know mine would be just as happy if we hadn't come back the first time - they wouldn't know any different, but they've had a great childhood here too. They're still in touch with friends from both Perth and Sydney and I wouldn't say any of their friends are any more 'outdoorsy' now than they are. They all seem to like partying just as much as each other!

 

Good luck! It's very normal to have doubts when you're making such a huge decision- it would be more worrying if you didn't think hard about it.:smile: We don't regret going (except for the expense!) and we don't regret coming back either. It's been an interesting few years!

[whichway1]

I suspect by reading your posts that if you didn't make the move you would spend your life wanting to or wishing you had. Perhaps assess how much support you get with the children and then think about if you could manage without that. Could you look at just renting in Oz to see if it suits? Is there any way you could give it a try for a year or so without giving up everything you have in UK?

 

I found the heat and the sun very relentless and in fact more limiting than the less severe (but colder) weather we have in the UK, and when I had a baby I really struggled trying to keep her protected BUT that's only my experience and she was an infant and of course you have been before so it's not like you're going with no knowledge. That's why I wondered where you were going cos of the different climates in Oz, I lived in Qld. But I am in the minority in this feeling but it's just a thought.

 

It would be really great if you could go for a trial without having to sell up everything here. Easier said than done I know. Good luck with your decision. x At least your eyes are wide open.

[Quoll]

If it aint broke dont fix it is my usual mantra. Just what do you think is going to make your life better? What will you have to give up in the process and will that still be better? Can you afford to lose everything you have now on the gamble that you will be able to recoup or do you have a better offer which shouldnt be missed? Can you go for the adventure and be flexible about where you move to next without too much loss? I think most problems come when people "chase the dream" rather than take a pragmatic approach to where their next best opportunity comes from - there is so much hinging on the success of the dreamlike state and for some folk it turns into a nightmare. If you take your next best opportunity then you do it with the best information you have at the time and if that doesnt work out then you look for your next best opportunity and make a decision then. Holidaying in a place is very different from having to live there!

[dufont]

I think sometimes human nature makes us want what we can't have, and when we can have it you then have doubts. I know this happended to me. Doubts are bound to creep in when you are moving out of your comfort zone. Once I looked upon it as an adventure and not a move for life, the doubts decreased and I enjoyed life in Australia better, settled better and now wouldn't live anywhere else.

[dianaos]

Hi All

 

I am 32 years old with a wife, and 2 little girls. My wife has never travelled to Oz, where I have back in 2001 and loved it. I really wanted to move of shortly after I came back but wife, girlfriend at time did not want to. Since then I got married and had 2 little girls aged 5 & 3. They really enjoy playing outside come rain or shine they want to go out and play.

 

So now we have a family my wife has warmed to the idea of making the move over to Oz and trusting me when I say she will love it. But there is just something in the back of my mind say don’t do it. As my life is good at the moment, with a good job, good friends and family support, I just doubt if this is the right move for my family. I feel it is. And that the girls will get so much more out of life living down under.

 

Is there anyone else who is sharing my small doubts regarding the move?

 

Mike:biggrin:

 

I am an Aussie and have had second thoughts about moving over. My partner and I both had good jobs so it is a worry when we are resigning from those good jobs and moving out where neither of has a job. The only thing I can say is my partner loves Oz and if we don't go, we will never know if we can make a good life there for us. I do have family in Oz, but equally we have family and lots of friends here in the UK, so it is a very difficult decision. We leave next week and the furniture leaves tomorrow so it is probably too late to change our minds!

[mikef]

Hi all

 

Thank you for your time and your comments. I agree with some of the stuff stated and disagree with stuff also.

 

Our main aim is that we have been handed this opportunity in life, and we are going to grab it. But we are really relishing the thought of a move down under.

 

We are both still young, and young enough to come back if it does not work out. I am hopefully going to try and rent our family home, out whilst over there, so that we do not cut all ties back home, if ever we decide to come back to the UK.

 

I spoke to my wife last night regarding your comments, and we sat and discussed it, and we are both agreed that this is what we both want.

 

Thanks again for all your thoughts and wish you all the best of luck in the future.

 

Mike

[VERYSTORMY]

I would just say that, as others have posted, i dont think Oz is any better or worse to bring children up. A lot of parents are very aware of the sun here and the fact that 1 in 3 of the population develop skin cancer. As a result, lots of kids are in doors a lot in summer and winter can be pretty cold and wet. Think UK in April, Perth for example has a higher rainfall than London.

 

As for the thoughts on just do it, i disagree. This is a VERY stressful thing to do and financially hard. Its not a cheap process and there are members on here that are in Oz and want to go back, but cant now afford it. The process for most costs in the tens of thousands.

 

Lastly, be careful on the jobs front. Do lots of research. Just because your trade is on the list, doesnt mean it is in demand in real terms. Also, be aware that once here, some trades have a lot of other hoops to jump through.

 

Oz has a lot to offer, but be careful of both your motivation for wanting it and make sure the research shows it is a good move.

[Guest Ptp113]

I suspect by reading your posts that if you didn't make the move you would spend your life wanting to or wishing you had. Perhaps assess how much support you get with the children and then think about if you could manage without that. Could you look at just renting in Oz to see if it suits? Is there any way you could give it a try for a year or so without giving up everything you have in UK?

 

I found the heat and the sun very relentless and in fact more limiting than the less severe (but colder) weather we have in the UK, and when I had a baby I really struggled trying to keep her protected BUT that's only my experience and she was an infant and of course you have been before so it's not like you're going with no knowledge. That's why I wondered where you were going cos of the different climates in Oz, I lived in Qld. But I am in the minority in this feeling but it's just a thought.

 

It would be really great if you could go for a trial without having to sell up everything here. Easier said than done I know. Good luck with your decision. x At least your eyes are wide open.

 

Did you not ascertain that the weather varies greatly here in Australia? People wouldn't live where the heat/sun is relentless if they didn't want 'relentless heat/sun.

[Chortlepuss]

I would think very carefully about leaving a secure job in the UK to come to Australia. I left a secure job in IT, having never been out of work in the UK and am currently unemployed. There are hundreds if not thousands of highly qualified applicants chasing work in QLD. UK sterling does not go very far here - even 350K GBP would bring you $500K AUD - where I live that would get you a very scruffy three bedroom house in an OK area, or a slightly nicer house way out of town.

As for better for kids? I disagree. My kids largely grew up in the UK, we moved over when they were teenagers. They have done well here, but no better than they would have in the UK. As for the idea that you spend all your time outdoors, I'd also disagree. I'm a keen hiker and went walking daily in the UK, rain or shine. I loved my walking holidays, although all that mud and rain got a bit trying! We lived next to a national park in the UK. One of the things the kids said they miss most about the UK was the countryside. Here (QLD) it is sometimes so hot you don't even want to go outside. Daring to pop for a swim without smearing yourself in krypton factor 50 is a recipe for disaster. I don't walk much here, although south of Brisbane (1-2hours) there are some fantastic bushwalks. It's just not on my doorstep!

You have young kids, can't you just pop over for a short time without burning your bridges? - keep your house, take a secondment from work? Try before you buy? I love Australia, but in retrospect, could have enjoyed some very long holidays here and saved tens of thousands of pounds if I'd viewed it from the UK.

[JoandJon]

There's a saying out there - knowing me it's probably song lyrics, but hey ....

 

"I'd rather regret the things I've done, than the things I didn't do ..."

 

If you're all in favour, then I reckon give it a go - you can always come back

[Chortlepuss]

Lastly, be careful on the jobs front. Do lots of research. Just because your trade is on the list, doesnt mean it is in demand in real terms. Also, be aware that once here, some trades have a lot of other hoops to jump through.

 

Oz has a lot to offer, but be careful of both your motivation for wanting it and make sure the research shows it is a good move.

 

I'd use the opportunity to reach out to others in your trade here to understand the real skills demand as well. My profession IT/BA is on the shortage list - it is seen as a skill in demand. I have 10+ years experience, two degrees and industry quals. You will see a lot of roles on Seek in Brisbane - but what you don't know is that hundreds of applicants go for these roles. You need to match criteria exactly - so BA roles requiring 2 years, 5 years experience are out of bounds for me as according to agencies 'no one wants to employ someone more experienced than them' This is NOT the land of giving people a fair go, regardless of the hype. I have read here about plumbers, sparkies, builders all being out of work because their quals weren't quite what Oz wants, even though they can do the job standing on their heads! I'd wager this happens in many professions - but you need to find out from someone who works in your trade in the area that you want to move to

[Guest Ptp113]

I would think very carefully about leaving a secure job in the UK to come to Australia. I left a secure job in IT, having never been out of work in the UK and am currently unemployed. There are hundreds if not thousands of highly qualified applicants chasing work in QLD. UK sterling does not go very far here - even 350K GBP would bring you $500K AUD - where I live that would get you a very scruffy three bedroom house in an OK area, or a slightly nicer house way out of town.

As for better for kids? I disagree. My kids largely grew up in the UK, we moved over when they were teenagers. They have done well here, but no better than they would have in the UK. As for the idea that you spend all your time outdoors, I'd also disagree. I'm a keen hiker and went walking daily in the UK, rain or shine. I loved my walking holidays, although all that mud and rain got a bit trying! We lived next to a national park in the UK. One of the things the kids said they miss most about the UK was the countryside. Here (QLD) it is sometimes so hot you don't even want to go outside. Daring to pop for a swim without smearing yourself in krypton factor 50 is a recipe for disaster. I don't walk much here, although south of Brisbane (1-2hours) there are some fantastic bushwalks. It's just not on my doorstep!

You have young kids, can't you just pop over for a short time without burning your bridges? - keep your house, take a secondment from work? Try before you buy? I love Australia, but in retrospect, could have enjoyed some very long holidays here and saved tens of thousands of pounds if I'd viewed it from the UK.

 

if your family can't handle the heat why on earth did you migrate to Qld?

[Chortlepuss]

if your family can't handle the heat why on earth did you migrate to Qld?

 

We can handle the heat, the humidity in summer sucks and that's what gets to you. QLD in winter is perfect! What looks great with rose tinted glasses doesn't always stay great with the benefit of experience.... In retrospect I probably would have been better moving to Melbourne where the climate suits me more, and where there are better job opportunities. Funny, on a holiday to QLD pre-emigrating I met a young couple who told me 'it does get a bit boring when it's sunny every day' It took me five years to agree with them! My husband and one daughter love the sunshine - Another daughter can't wait to go somewhere cooler. Everyone is different.

[RockDr]

All I will say is don't rush anything. Your wife has never been here, you came during your younger footloose and fancy free years. Your outlook on things and priorities will have changed greatly since then, and you might find your impressions of the country will be very different now (not necessarily bad, just different). I would strongly recommend coming for a visit before committing yourselves to a big move, especially since you seem quite well settled in terms of jobs etc in the UK at the moment.

[starlight7]

I think I would go for it if I were you- but remember that Perth is not like the the rest of Australia and if for any reason you don't like it there , there are other places too.

[boganbear]

My grandparents were going to emigrate just after the war. they eve had their 10 pounds and removal expenses paid by the company so it wouldn't have cost them a penny. When the removal people came nan said she didnt want to go because she wanted to be near her sister. Six months later the sister had a whirlwind romance with a Canadian airman, got married and emigrated to Canada. I remember Nan saying this was the biggest regret of her life and i think my grandpa never forgave her for it.

 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained

[fourcorners]

I would research the job market very carefully, and make sure that you can afford the same quality of life or better that you have in the UK. I could easily imagine that moving here and being worse off would be pretty depressing. I agree with others that I don't think Australia is better or worse than the UK for bringing up children - this shouldn't be the reason for your move.

 

We didn't sell our house in the UK. Since moving out it's been empty for 3 months initially, the tenants are moving out this month and we have another couple lined up to move in straight away. There are many who would panic about expenses and such, but I would take a guess that we've spent less money maintaining it as a rental than we would have spent on it had we stayed!

[Wellers and Whitehead]

My last visit to Oz was the same time as you, around 2000/1. I was the same as you, my dream to move to Oz, loved it! However my partner and I moved 11 months ago, and in my opinion there is no such thing aa 'living the dream'I now realise. Things have changed alot since 2000, and I don't find it the same place I did when I was travelling/numerous holidays etc. it is very different to live. Have you researched your job well?I am having huge probs finding work other than the occasional casual work. I'm not saying don't do it, as you will never know, but if you have bought a house I would suggest not selling it until you know you want to stay km Oz (or don't want too). All the best! :-)

[Paul1Perth]

Hi all

 

Thank you for your time and your comments. I agree with some of the stuff stated and disagree with stuff also.

 

Our main aim is that we have been handed this opportunity in life, and we are going to grab it. But we are really relishing the thought of a move down under.

 

We are both still young, and young enough to come back if it does not work out. I am hopefully going to try and rent our family home, out whilst over there, so that we do not cut all ties back home, if ever we decide to come back to the UK.

 

I spoke to my wife last night regarding your comments, and we sat and discussed it, and we are both agreed that this is what we both want.

 

Thanks again for all your thoughts and wish you all the best of luck in the future.

 

Mike

 

If you've sat down and chatted about it and are both ready to give it a go, then go for it wholheartedly. Perth is a great place IMO.