Guest Guest26012 Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 I'm not making sweeping statements, I'm just giving my opinion. I thought that's what a forum was for? None of my family, on either side of the world, have disposable income. We have all saved hard to go to oz & we have done this to spend time together as a family & not really to visit oz. Thats why family should 'take turns'. I know how hard it is to save the money & how much it takes out of you to do the journey (then leave each other again!) but you make the effort & do it. Of course it's not a waste of time or money to visit when someone dies if that's what you want to do, I personally think it means more if people make the effort to be together whilst we're all still alive that's all. Again well have to disagree! Your family don't have disposable income that doesn't apply to everyone? You talk about your family and that's fine but in your opinion you still think that people should "take turns" and as I said that's not always possible! We have some rellies that have been here and will come again because they have the money to do that and they want to! I won't go on about this with you but just go back and read what you originally wrote! You did say it was a massive waste of money for people to visit oz or the uk if someone had died! In my eyes that was a sweeping statement that did not take into account individual choices! I was responding to that statement! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boganbear Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 I have no intention of ever going back except for when my dad passes away. There is nothing in the Uk any more and Im not travelling halfway around the world for 10 days when I can have more adventures in Oz, NZ or Asia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest26012 Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 Been back twice in nearly five years! Now I want to spend my money here! We prob will go back again but not for a good few years! We live in a beautiful place and people are always welcome to share that with us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 We arrived in Aus in January 2007, settled relatively quickly and this has only got better the longer we've been here. Establishing friendships that have endured the acquaintance stage had a lot to do with this and we have a great social network. We have been very lucky that in the time we've been here we've had a lot of visitors so have seen our loved ones, but i've never had a yearning yet to go back even for a holiday. My hubby when we arrived said we'd probably visit after 5 years of being here - but after 2 he said he'd changed his mind. Our 'big' holiday for our special birthdays in 2014 is being planned for the US and not the UK. I know that a visit will be inevitable when my dad passes away but other than that I really don't have any urge to visit. It's not that I hated it, we had a comfortable life there - but I really don't want to spend thousands of $ going back. So is there anyone else who feels like this - or are we on our own in not wanting to visit? respect your opinion ali ...........being in the u.k i dread it when mom says " so and so is visiting from australia " ..........iam thinking " please please dont visit us " ...........pretending to play happy families Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheArmChairDetective Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 I must admit I am also worried that a trip back now will cause everyone to feel disprupted again. My son has only really seemed settled this last 6 months and Im worried it will set him back,. hes 11. Sounds like you might need to err on the side of caution, 11 is one of the funny years after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Ali I had never thought about this until your post. We had been in WA for 8 years before we went back the first time for the "new millenium Christmas" as my children's father (who lives in London) wanted to see them in London instead of his annual visit to Perth. Kids were 13 and 16 at that time and we had only been in England for a week when they asked me if we were moving back to England to live. Told them no - it was just a holiday. Huge sighs of relief from both and they relaxed and started to enjoy their holiday. In fact we all enjoyed that 6 weeks even though it was cold and wet and .... well England in December and January. Kids are now 26 and 29, have never been back and have no inclination to do so, but have travelled extensively in Oz and NZ. I have been back twice - once for work and once as part of a 3 months round the world holiday. Spent 4 weeks in England and Europe catching up with friends and revisiting favourite places and thoroughly enjoyed it. I am planning a 2 month trip next year when I retire, but only to catch up with close friends (and yes they all come here for holidays) and we are planning to go on trips together to Scandinavia and Greece and Portugal to places none of us have been to before. So I suppose going back to England for me is all about people and not about the country. I have no family there anymore as they all live here in WA, and I left the country for reasons that still exist, so have never felt the need to have constant visits back there. The people I care about either live in WA or come to WA for holidays. We are all very different and all have very different needs though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 It's all personal circumstance, some people have no family ties or friends in the UK so I don't blame you for not wanting to go back. Or maybe you lived on a crap housing estate in the middle of Dullsville - again you probably don't want to revisit that. In the UK at least you don't have to drive as much as here. When people come out to visit us they generally spend a lot of time in a car as who wants to spend 3 weeks in Kalgoorlie?! You run out of things to do in about 3 days unless you've got a job! We have no family here, and are also due to get married soon. Currently trying to decide between getting married here or in the UK. Here and not many family members would be able to come, over there we would have to spend around 5 weeks there to get round the legalities. Hardly anyone can afford to visit us, especially not with the exchange rate as it is. By the time that comes around we will have been here for 2 years, which is about my limit going on past experiences. The longer I leave it, the more upset I become at the thought of not seeing everyone for another x number of years. At least with a wedding we wouldn't have to spend any time driving round the various spread out family (some in Devon, some in Yorkshire, some in Berwick, some in Cornwall!), they would all come to us and we wouldn't have to spend a vast amount of time with some of them! But then we've also thought sod it, can't be bothered to get married lets just keep going the way we have been for the last 10 years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LKC Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 We haven't been back yet (arrived here in Feb 09) and have no real plans to at all at the moment. Apart from the money it would cost (four of us), it would just be awkward when we were there and not at all like a holiday. I wouldn't want to stay with my in-laws but that is what they would expect, and I could imagine a whole heap of trouble if we told them we would be staying elsewhere. My family are two and a half to three hours drive from oh's family, so I would want to stay somewhere in between. I don't really feel the need at the moment. I have never felt homesick at all, and I know this sounds selfish but we have better things to spend our money and holiday time on at the moment. We have discussed what will happen should the time come that a family member dies, and I think that we will just have to play it by ear a bit. I know that my grandma wouldn't expect us to go over for her funeral. Her philosophy is that if you do right by someone when they are alive, what does it matter once they are no longer here, and has told me that she would be disappointed in me if I spent the money to go for her funeral. Other family members, don't know. We do have a contingency fund for emergencies so at least we have that put to one side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 We arrived in Aus in January 2007, settled relatively quickly and this has only got better the longer we've been here. Establishing friendships that have endured the acquaintance stage had a lot to do with this and we have a great social network. We have been very lucky that in the time we've been here we've had a lot of visitors so have seen our loved ones, but i've never had a yearning yet to go back even for a holiday. My hubby when we arrived said we'd probably visit after 5 years of being here - but after 2 he said he'd changed his mind. Our 'big' holiday for our special birthdays in 2014 is being planned for the US and not the UK. I know that a visit will be inevitable when my dad passes away but other than that I really don't have any urge to visit. It's not that I hated it, we had a comfortable life there - but I really don't want to spend thousands of $ going back. So is there anyone else who feels like this - or are we on our own in not wanting to visit? We feel exactly the same. Had to go back after 13 years here as everyone had been here more than once and it was the in-laws Golden wedding. We had to do the right thing. Cost a small fortune that we had to borrow on our mortgage, so are still paying it back really. Enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would as I caught up with a lot of friends I hadn't seen for years. That part was great. It reminded us why we had left too. One thing we should have done in hindsight was have one week less in England and have a longer holiday on the way back. We were knackered when we came back and had a stopover in Malaysia in a beautiful hotel that was really cheap. We would have liked to stay on there a few more days and relax a bit, instead of the one night, then back to Aus and straight back to work. Didn't feel like we had a real holiday. We have to go back again next year for a wedding and this time may be able to save for the trip. We are going to have less time there and make sure we have a holiday on the way back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 My friends find it really strange that we don't want to go back. We were talking at my sons birthday last week and saying what our plans were for big birthdays - our friends who have been here slightly longer will visit the UK for the 3rd time whilst we said we were planning a trip to the US she commented that she found it strange that we don't even want to go back for a visit. I read on here people who plan to go back every 18 months or so but we have no desire to at all at the moment - but judging from the comments so far it's not as strange as my friends made out Know what you mean Ali. We have friends who save up all year for their annual "fix" in the UK. Can't understand us at all for not wanting to go back. They are the ones that seem to still compare things with the UK still (after 20 years or so here) and seem to be forever complaining about Oz. They went back last year and when they came back were considering going back for good. I was talking to the husband and he said how you could buy cheap adidas T shirts and stuff in the sports shops there. I asked if he had ever been to Jim Kids where they sell a lot of Adidas gear pretty cheap. He had never been and was amazed that it was about the same price. Never goes shopping in Perth. He also said his mates were doing well and they were all going to Spain for their holidays. When I pointed out to him that he already lived somewhere that was better than Spain and he didn't have to go home after 2 weeks he looked at me a bit puzzled and said he'd never thought of it like that. Saw them after they had been back a month and they had changed their minds again and decided to stay. Saving up for next years trip though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Know what you mean Ali. We have friends who save up all year for their annual "fix" in the UK. Can't understand us at all for not wanting to go back. They are the ones that seem to still compare things with the UK still (after 20 years or so here) and seem to be forever complaining about Oz. They went back last year and when they came back were considering going back for good. I was talking to the husband and he said how you could buy cheap adidas T shirts and stuff in the sports shops there. I asked if he had ever been to Jim Kids where they sell a lot of Adidas gear pretty cheap. He had never been and was amazed that it was about the same price. Never goes shopping in Perth. He also said his mates were doing well and they were all going to Spain for their holidays. When I pointed out to him that he already lived somewhere that was better than Spain and he didn't have to go home after 2 weeks he looked at me a bit puzzled and said he'd never thought of it like that. Saw them after they had been back a month and they had changed their minds again and decided to stay. Saving up for next years trip though. hmmmmmm.......Spain? Perth? tricky one that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whatsitallabout Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I don't think its strange not wanting to go back, we were the same. But my little sis has decided that she is getting married so we will all be going back. It will be four years then, so am now getting excited & horrified at all the places we will have to visit in our 3 weeks there. South & North of England everyone wants a piece of you & will be really upset if you don't see them. The cost is seriously overpriced! I will make sure that we have a good stopover, so we can recover from sleeping at so many different beds! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millers Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 weve been here for 7 months and got no desire to return for a holiday ever!!! settled in like ducks to water.....we love it and wish we'd have done it yrs ago...would rather spend thousands of $ on a nice holiday in Australia/south pacific!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary o Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I must be strange. I'am going back in 2 weeks and can't wait. Looking forward to seeing my friends,family having a pint,going to see my beloved arsenal live. Just being in london again will be good. Going to somerset for a long weekend to should be nice.My best friends had two kids i haven't even met. Following the misses round the shops won't be good but i guess i just tell her to meet me in the pub when shes done. Might be fairly pricey but to see the people i love and miss it's worth every pennie to me. Thats without even mentioning the humor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I must be strange. I'am going back in 2 weeks and can't wait. Looking forward to seeing my friends,family having a pint,going to see my beloved arsenal live. Just being in london again will be good. Going to somerset for a long weekend to should be nice.My best friends had two kids i haven't even met. Following the misses round the shops won't be good but i guess i just tell her to meet me in the pub when shes done. Might be fairly pricey but to see the people i love and miss it's worth every pennie to me. Thats without even mentioning the humor. completely with you mate. I'm a bit baffled TBH by the idea that returning to the place you grew up is so unattractive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Easy to see why newly arrived folk wouldn't want to return on holiday. By newly arrived I'd include up to five years. At some point most I feel do get a longing to revisit paths once walked.... As for cost obviously it is not cheap to return. But then a return flight to the Kimberlies in WA is $800 + hardly cheap either. There is a lot to cover in UK. Not in distance but places. In my view probabky more to see there than Australia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 weve been here for 7 months and got no desire to return for a holiday ever!!! settled in like ducks to water.....we love it and wish we'd have done it yrs ago...would rather spend thousands of $ on a nice holiday in Australia/south pacific!!! To holiday in Australia you will spend thousands of $s.......for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 completely with you mate. I'm a bit baffled TBH by the idea that returning to the place you grew up is so unattractive I dont see why its so strange dom? everybodys different, not everybody loves the UK and misses it. I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diane Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I "scratched the itch" 4 yrs ago. Both the kids and the OH said they had no desire to ever go back again after visiting. Now my youngest (Josh) who is just finishing school, said he wouldn't mind trying to get into a Uni near Salisbury. ... I think you may find if he hasn't lived for the previous few years in the UK, he will count as an International Student and have to pay extremely high fees to do this! Not sure what the requirement is - perhaps 3 years? If he's been at school here in Oz, you may find it's not as easy as all that! (I have a teenage daughter who fancied applying to a UK University until we found this out!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest63690 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I have joined this forum because one of my best friends (for 30 years) is emigrating to oz and it helps me understand why she is going and what her life will be like when she gets there. She has sworn blind that she will come back every year (as she knows her family and friends are far from wealthy and her mum and dad are getting on), but after reading this thread I realise I have to prepare myself for the fact she may never come back, or may come back because she feels she has to. :sad: she is also in a whirl of excitement about emigrating at the moment and seems to only be focusing on the negative aspects of life in the UK. I sometimes feel we are living in a completely different country. She sounds like a Daily Mail journalist, I'm just my usual self, accepting the UK is not perfect but loving it with all my heart and appreciating how lucky I am to live here. So I also have to face the fact she will be leaving with all these negative thoughts in her head about the UK, which might make her less likely to visit. This forum is useful for preparing people who go to oz for some of less rosy aspects of emigrating, and for people coming back to the UK to prepare for certain issues they might face, but it also helps loved ones of those emigrating to get their head round what is might be like for their loved ones and the way emigrating might effect them. If she does come back brilliant, but I wont be so devastated now if she doesn't so thanks ali for starting this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 i hate my computer, first it sent my message too early and then when i finished typing it (was long) it didnt send it! must be its way of telling me i talk crap lol i'll have to do it again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 completely with you mate. I'm a bit baffled TBH by the idea that returning to the place you grew up is so unattractive I dont see why its so strange dom? everybodys different, not everybody loves the UK and misses it. I dont see whats wrong with that. Theres so many reasons why people might be unsure about going back. Also, whats wrong with just not liking where you came from? Not everyones lucky enough to come from a great area. Btw im just curious wether you would of mentioned the same thing if it had been a australian on here who had moved to the UK saying they didnt want to go home ever? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ptp113 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 completely with you mate. I'm a bit baffled TBH by the idea that returning to the place you grew up is so unattractive Your posts indicate that nearly everything baffles you, so this concept doesn't come as a surprise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I just feel I want to move farward, I dont want to look back, practically all my surviving family now live in Australia. England holds too many sad memories for me now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheArmChairDetective Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 We arrived in Aus in January 2007, settled relatively quickly and this has only got better the longer we've been here. Establishing friendships that have endured the acquaintance stage had a lot to do with this and we have a great social network. We have been very lucky that in the time we've been here we've had a lot of visitors so have seen our loved ones, but i've never had a yearning yet to go back even for a holiday. My hubby when we arrived said we'd probably visit after 5 years of being here - but after 2 he said he'd changed his mind. Our 'big' holiday for our special birthdays in 2014 is being planned for the US and not the UK. I know that a visit will be inevitable when my dad passes away but other than that I really don't have any urge to visit. It's not that I hated it, we had a comfortable life there - but I really don't want to spend thousands of $ going back. So is there anyone else who feels like this - or are we on our own in not wanting to visit? I don't think you are strange Ali, In fact you and some other people on here form the least strangest set of people that I have had the pleasure of making acquaintance with over the years. Migration and Integration are hard processes with the rewards usually reaped by future generations, perhaps your feelings are not merely financial but are based in part on the reasons why you migrated in the first place. And the USA is always a lovely place to visit, do you fancy Hawaii ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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