tonyman Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Has anyone else found that, since announcing you're moving to Australia (or even planning to) that some folk will do anything to try and get under your skin? Take the mickey? Or just generally bad mouth Australia because it seems they are jealous? For me I've had a few work colleagues and other aquaintances shall we say partake in all 3 of the above mentioned. And it's not as if it's said as a joke either. Some of the things are quite cutting. Us too, we never got any bad comments from family mind..............certain so called friends , who came to our wedding and every function we had ,whom we always made welcome never once answered our emails ect , they never had much , no trade ,lived on a council estate and we did so much for them .......so it was clear that they didnt want to know how well we were doing , its a shame for the kids as our eldest spent a lot of time wth theres and thats all gone now ....... we have had so called friends come over to validate there visa...they did that ,stayed for 12 weeks and decide that Perth has nothing to offer , so off they scuttled back to the uk , same old ........back in the same old rutt....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest31881 Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Us too, we never got any bad comments from family mind..............certain so called friends , who came to our wedding and every function we had ,whom we always made welcome never once answered our emails ect , they never had much , no trade ,lived on a council estate and we did so much for them .......so it was clear that they didnt want to know how well we were doing , .. I had the same sort of experience. promises to "stay in touch" and comments like "don't forget to email us" Now I only have two "friends" who regularly contact to see how things are going, some of the others never bothered to answer my first email, others made it to the second mail then lost interest. I often see on here members complaining that they have trouble making friends in Australia. I have trouble keeping the so called friends I had in the UK..:biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest57588 Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Has anyone else found that, since announcing you're moving to Australia (or even planning to) that some folk will do anything to try and get under your skin? Take the mickey? Or just generally bad mouth Australia because it seems they are jealous? For me I've had a few work colleagues and other aquaintances shall we say partake in all 3 of the above mentioned. And it's not as if it's said as a joke either. Some of the things are quite cutting. Us too, we never got any bad comments from family mind..............certain so called friends , who came to our wedding and every function we had ,whom we always made welcome never once answered our emails ect , they never had much , no trade ,lived on a council estate and we did so much for them .......so it was clear that they didnt want to know how well we were doing , its a shame for the kids as our eldest spent a lot of time wth theres and thats all gone now ....... we have had so called friends come over to validate there visa...they did that ,stayed for 12 weeks and decide that Perth has nothing to offer , so off they scuttled back to the uk , same old ........back in the same old rutt....... I dunno if it's jealousy aimed at the great lives we've all got over here, but as far as I see it no one seems to be interested in hearing about life in Oz back home. I get the odd "I suppose you'll probably be at the beach this weekend" type comment, but generally no one seems interested!. I dunno if it's the effect of 'Neighbours' and 'HAA" et al but no one in Blighty seems very interested in Oz. It's like they think it's boring or second rate in some way. No one ever says as much categorically, but I get that that sense reading between the lines/ silences over the years. Even when I go back to the UK for a holiday no one ever ever asks about what we do in Oz, they all just seem wrapped up in what's going on in the UK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyman Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 I had the same sort of experience. promises to "stay in touch" and comments like "don't forget to email us" Now I only have two "friends" who regularly contact to see how things are going, some of the others never bothered to answer my first email, others made it to the second mail then lost interest. I often see on here members complaining that they have trouble making friends in Australia. I have trouble keeping the so called friends I had in the UK..:biggrin: why has my name changed to bunggeeman on your post ....?????????.....and we had all the same pal......some just dont want to know how well or not so well you are doing but we had balls to try it ...........we have probs had the worse 3 yrs of our lives out of the 5 we have been here , probs due to the twins and lack of family in Oz support(plus other personel stuff) but we will get over it and our 5 kids will thank us one day ........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungeeman Posted February 24, 2012 Author Share Posted February 24, 2012 RE: the jealousy issue and FB etc.....We had that too. One of my closest rellies always said that they wanted to know everything about Australia, what we were doing, where and why etc. SO we emailed, wrote, sent pix and did as we were duly asked!All of a sudden we were getting one line emails back saying things like `still in paradise then!` and things like that. It made us not want to write as it had come across as very caustic. But we kept writing but kept it simple. Stuck to basic (non paradise things!) work, cost of living etc. All of a sudden the same family member was complaining saying we never tell them anything..... You`ll never please everyone, you cant please everyone so to be honest, I dont try anymore. Lifes too short and I want to be happy! And yep, its paradise!! lol All this is very reassuring! I've had some great positive responses from people and equally some really negative ones. I remember my best friend who moved to WA 8 years ago spoke of the whole jealousy thing especially from people on Facebook- he was posting pictures of all the things he was doing- posted pics of his house build (which he worked hard to pay for) and he just kept getting narky messages from people. I guess some people will just never understand. And then theres the guilt trip off others- particularly my family. My mum said yesterday that her family was 'just disintegrating around her'. But then she has never been abroad and experience these things in life. She was born here in Sussex and has never left! All we get is criticism from them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungeeman Posted February 24, 2012 Author Share Posted February 24, 2012 why has my name changed to bunggeeman on your post ....?????????.....and we had all the same pal......some just dont want to know how well or not so well you are doing but we had balls to try it ...........we have probs had the worse 3 yrs of our lives out of the 5 we have been here , probs due to the twins and lack of family in Oz support(plus other personel stuff) but we will get over it and our 5 kids will thank us one day ........ Yeah I bet they do and I hope our Son does! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewebweazel Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 A good example of silly things people come out with - " You could end up murdered or hooked on drugs and then become a prostitute, theres lots of weirdos over there" I was told this by my gran when i said i was thinking of going on a working holiday visa, i let her away with it because she's old and just worries lol. Clearly your Gran has been watching "Wolf Creek" There are scarier things in glasgow!! :laugh: True, I think it would be safer to Emigrate to the Congo then Glasgow:biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 You're all right I've had everyone of these comments you're all saying. Funny thing is, it's the people we don't know (i.e. people we meet when walking the dogs mainly the older generation my grandparents age) who say "oh good luck to you. If we had our time again we'd do it!" and "I don't blame you- there's nothing here for you" And I know for some people there are things in the UK for them. But for me and my family we want to enjoy life more and have more family time and yet we don't get to do that here with work etc.... so we'll give it a go and see how we get on. Nothing to lose and everything to gain! oh dear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Clearly your Gran has been watching "Wolf Creek" True, I think it would be safer to Emigrate to the Congo then Glasgow:biglaugh: Nope my gran doesnt watch dvd's and im staying away from that film!! She would be a hundred times worse if she knew about that! There was a bit on the news about the dingos tonight, next thing will be that im going to get devoured by a dingo.. OI I can slag glasgow but your not allowed to! :tongue: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewebweazel Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 OI I can slag glasgow but your not allowed to! :tongue: :shocked: I'm only agreeing with you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambethlad Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Has anyone else found that, since announcing you're moving to Australia (or even planning to) that some folk will do anything to try and get under your skin? Take the mickey? Or just generally bad mouth Australia because it seems they are jealous? For me I've had a few work colleagues and other aquaintances shall we say partake in all 3 of the above mentioned. And it's not as if it's said as a joke either. Some of the things are quite cutting. I don't take too much notice, nor care about their opinions as it's not their life- but just wondered if anyone else has experienced this? What about those people who have returned to the UK and stay on this forum and take any opportunity to say negative things about Oz. I think it's jealousy and resentment against those who love Oz and have made a great new life for themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 "Australia is full of snakes spiders and crocodiles," was said to my then 8 year old son at school my some of the Mothers, I was not happy!:swoon: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 All this is very reassuring! I've had some great positive responses from people and equally some really negative ones. I remember my best friend who moved to WA 8 years ago spoke of the whole jealousy thing especially from people on Facebook- he was posting pictures of all the things he was doing- posted pics of his house build (which he worked hard to pay for) and he just kept getting narky messages from people. Par for the course. I posted a thread showing the house building process here from leveling the block to final build. I thought it may be helpful for members to see the process. I had also posted previously as to how we had manged to get to where we are today, financially. I got quite a few thanks but also got the snide remarks (in other threads) hinting at 'showing off' or "tall poppying' as they call it here. Of course, those snide remarks came from either those who wanted to go back or had already returned. For a while I thought I was walking on egg shells any time I posted something positive about our lives..................now I don't give a flyin' feck..................I'm proud of what we've achieved here and folk can think what they want when I mention those achievements. Mention 'em nowadays and you're likely to get, "Oh, but the exchange rate was much better then...............houses were cheaper etc etc" to which I agree, but that doesn't mean that we didn't have to struggle to get to this point in our lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chantel Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Par for the course. I posted a thread showing the house building process here from leveling the block to final build. I thought it may be helpful for members to see the process. I had also posted previously as to how we had manged to get to where we are today, financially. I got quite a few thanks but also got the snide remarks (in other threads) hinting at 'showing off' or "tall poppying' as they call it here. Of course, those snide remarks came from either those who wanted to go back or had already returned. For a while I thought I was walking on egg shells any time I posted something positive about our lives..................now I don't give a flyin' feck..................I'm proud of what we've achieved here and folk can think what they want when I mention those achievements. Mention 'em nowadays and you're likely to get, "Oh, but the exchange rate was much better then...............houses were cheaper etc etc" to which I agree, but that doesn't mean that we didn't have to struggle to get to this point in our lives. I like the responsive attitude that you have developed and grown to take! :laugh: We're learning to take a 'ignore em' kinda approach to such people around us too. The world is full of vipers far more dangerous than the Taipan in the form of jealous envious people who can't find happiness for themselves and are burnt seeing other people achieve it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josetann Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Had plenty of the negative remarks from my wife's side of the family. Nothing there, waste of time, dangerous (yeah...Australia has deadly spiders, but so does Tennessee USA!), guilt trip about not staying home to spend more time with them, etc. Bit of drama, try not to worry about that. The part of my family we still speak to, were pretty understanding. I think the fact that for the past three years we were spending more time away from home than at home due to travel nursing helped get them used to the idea. Sad to see us go, but understanding and excited for us. Wife's co-workers were understanding too. Of course, it probably helped that she wouldn't be working there if we weren't willing to travel far from home (Fairbanks, Alaska is quite a ways from Tennessee). They wanted her to stay on as staff. I don't know if I could live in Fairbanks permanently...but I have given it serious thought. Facebook...I'm VERY picky about who I "friend" on facebook. Just checked, there's only 15 friends. Every so often I'll break down and add a few, and delete a few while I'm at it. So far I've only had positive comments from the kangaroo and parrot pictures I've posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chantel Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest robnnic Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 I live in a small village where everyone knows each other. I'm sick of everyone saying "so when do you go".."looking at April time..."what does your mum think of it?"..........OMG it happens to everyone i speak to....My friends came last week to meet our dog who they have said they will look after (didn't realise the rabies palava :mad:) I took them out for dinner and 5 people came and asked us! My friend ended up saying....to me....so what does your mum thinking of it?!!! Grin, bare and deep breath! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 I live in a small village where everyone knows each other. I'm sick of everyone saying "so when do you go".."looking at April time..."what does your mum think of it?"..........OMG it happens to everyone i speak to....My friends came last week to meet our dog who they have said they will look after (didn't realise the rabies palava :mad:) I took them out for dinner and 5 people came and asked us! My friend ended up saying....to me....so what does your mum thinking of it?!!! Grin, bare and deep breath! We did too, I think people at our village pub thought we were deluding ourselves and that it would never happen, especially as we were caught it two different sets of Visa rule changes and it took so long, but hey were are here now and well a lot of my friends from the village are on FB and they can see how we are getting on, one old couple even came to our house for a visit when they came over to visit their son which was nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chantel Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tea4too Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Jealousy? Perhaps, and in some cases probably, although I guess it depends on the circumstances and the people concerned. On my last visit to Australia I listened for 20 minutes or more to a newly arrived expat talking excitedly about her new life, and then she suddenly asked when we hoped to move out. The expression on her face when I told her that we were quite happy in the UK went from incomprehension, to confusion to disbelief in about 5 seconds flat. Reading some of the posts in this thread I suspect she may well have decided that we were simply jealous, as the (truthful) answer I had given her was clearly not what she expected, or possibly wanted, to hear. If people, particularly close friends and family are less than enthusiastic about your move, there could be lots of reasons and jealousy is only one of them. Perhaps they are more focused on what your move means for them in terms of distance and missing you. Perhaps they feel that you are criticising a life style that they are happy with (and if they are happy, maybe they don’t understand why you aren’t?). Perhaps, hurtful as it may be, they are just not that interested? Whatever the reason, if you are happy and focused on what you are doing or intend to do I guess you just have to roll with the punches. After all, you are in the driving seat and others (particularly close family and friends) can do little other than deal with the consequences and their own feelings in their own way. Tx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 You're all right I've had everyone of these comments you're all saying. Funny thing is, it's the people we don't know (i.e. people we meet when walking the dogs mainly the older generation my grandparents age) who say "oh good luck to you. If we had our time again we'd do it!" and "I don't blame you- there's nothing here for you" And I know for some people there are things in the UK for them. But for me and my family we want to enjoy life more and have more family time and yet we don't get to do that here with work etc.... so we'll give it a go and see how we get on. Nothing to lose and everything to gain! I had plenty of that too, 'positive' 'noble' comments like "we'd do the same in your shoes, the UK is finished" or "this country is no place to bring up kids" (like its Mogadishu or something) and I just smiled and nodded. I just thought it sad that for so many people, damning comments like this just tripped off the tongue so easily. I never really experienced jealousy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest57588 Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Jealousy? Perhaps, and in some cases probably, although I guess it depends on the circumstances and the people concerned. On my last visit to Australia I listened for 20 minutes or more to a newly arrived expat talking excitedly about her new life, and then she suddenly asked when we hoped to move out. The expression on her face when I told her that we were quite happy in the UK went from incomprehension, to confusion to disbelief in about 5 seconds flat. Reading some of the posts in this thread I suspect she may well have decided that we were simply jealous, as the (truthful) answer I had given her was clearly not what she expected, or possibly wanted, to hear. If people, particularly close friends and family are less than enthusiastic about your move, there could be lots of reasons and jealousy is only one of them. Perhaps they are more focused on what your move means for them in terms of distance and missing you. Perhaps they feel that you are criticising a life style that they are happy with (and if they are happy, maybe they don’t understand why you aren’t?). Perhaps, hurtful as it may be, they are just not that interested? Whatever the reason, if you are happy and focused on what you are doing or intend to do I guess you just have to roll with the punches. After all, you are in the driving seat and others (particularly close family and friends) can do little other than deal with the consequences and their own feelings in their own way. Tx The bit I've highlighted certainly tallies with my own experiences. When I speak to family and friends back home they may ask the occasional cursory question about life in Australia, but essentially they're not interested so I don't bother boring them with the details. I've concluded that whilst moving here may be a big deal for me and my family, it means little to the folks back home - apart from the inconvenience of having to pay more for postage on birthday cards etc!. It's something that I've become reconciled to. Family and friends have their own lives back in the UK which are just as interesting or humdrum (depending upon the day) as my life here so why should they be especially interested in something that I've done here?. As much as it hurts my ego to admit it, moving to Australia has not made me any more interesting! :cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest16631 Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 ................and are we as interested in those who we have left behind...?............just because some feel life is better here..............there is still so much that was enjoyed and shared before the move..............it often helps....Ime........to remember and share those memories when talking to friends and family left behind.........it's shared memories that tie us together.............if we are able to be as interested about the life they still have.............many would then show an interest in ours............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Yes you do get it, I think it's the British way ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinkla Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 I didn't have any of this. All my friends and work colleagues were 100% supportive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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