Thinking about going home.

[flag of convenience]

We lived in Qld for 8 months and we never saw a soul on the street. Kids don't play out or walk like they do here. We knew after a few months that we had to return, my Australian Husband had become far too British. We had a great life in UK but all the family were in Oz which is why we went but even with their support we knew that we couldn't stay. he fear of the kids becoming too settled worried us (even though they were showing no signs of that). Many familes have a nightmare when half love it and half hate it so we were fortunate. We made lovely friends there but people are just so different, people don't just drop by or ring, everything has to be scheduled. We came back around 17 months ago and the UK is still the same as it was.....home. We have no regrets about going despite selling everything and having to start again (luckily we rented in Oz...dread to think if we'd bought), we have a much greater appreciation for the UK, even though we have no family here it's where we belong absolutely. Hope you come to a decision that you are all happy with and hold your heads high!

 

Odd isn't it seeing so few (if any) other folk on the streets. I live in the inner city in Perth and even away from the main strip there is very sparse pedestrian traffic. Being a keen walker this is a frequent observation on my part.

Even a lovely evening and the streets all but deserted. Folks inside watching tv or on the computer. Sometimes think that the city is wasted on the present inhabitants who in many cases make limited use of their city and weather.

In fact found more street life in cold North European cities.

 

I hope all you folk that had a good life in UK or whatever country can return to what you left behind. So many come out on a whim thinking for some unknown reason that it must be better in Australia.

Just goes to confirm that there are few certainties in life and Australia is not one of them.

[Perthbum]

Actually one doesn't see many kids out anywhere in the Perth Metro area without adults close at hand. Always strikes me as a little odd but there is a strong underlining fear here with regards to danger. I suppose some could think that kids can be a little over protected, a sort of wrapped in cotton wool syndrome,which wouldn't be fat wrong.

Just how great the life style is good for kids is debatable. Reading through the threads though you should get a pretty decent understanding into the oppossing arguements on both sides.

Aussies go to bed very early as thet have to get up very early for work, there is very little "night life" compared the the UK and especially to Europe with most pubs closing at about 9 in th evening which I found depressing, I think Brits are party animals compared to most Countries.

[flag of convenience]

+1 if you are happy in the UK an have a good standard of living why leave...:elvis: its bonkers.

 

Complete bonkers. Although I can understand folk's need for adventure or to try something different,I say take time off,leave your job(if possible) plan and do what is required to give yourself the time and take of for a year or six months and have an adventure.

Plenty of countries en route to discover as well. Just think carefully before throwing it all in for a new life, where in many cases has not even been visited by the aspiring immigrant.

[Guest famousfive]

We too have found our kids spending a lot of time on their own.They have many,many friends but all visits seem to take two weeks to arrange even though some only live 2 minutes walk away.We live in a very small town for the past few months,until our return in a few months time,and if you drove through town on any given day you would think no kids lived here.

All houses have decent sized gardens and yet I have never seen a child outside playing,apart from when they come to our place.There is a playground across the road from us which our kids use daily,they have never seen another child there!!

I really don't get it.The climate is quite mild where we are now so it cannot be the heat keeping them inside.How this equates to a better life for kids is beyond me.

To the OP I would say......it may well be that none of you are fully settled here just yet,or it may be you will never feel settled here,who knows.One thing to ask yourselves is.....have we lost more than we have gained?If the answer is yes then I suggest you head back while the trail is still fresh because the longer you stay the harder the return gets.If on the other hand you feel this may be the place for you then you need to start looking to the future and putting some security into your lives.A ll the best.

[flag of convenience]

Aussies go to bed very early as thet have to get up very early for work, there is very little "night life" compared the the UK and especially to Europe with most pubs closing at about 9 in th evening which I found depressing, I think Brits are party animals compared to most Countries.

Very true. A rather humdrum existance in many ways. Even if one doesn't want to party but does like a vibe,a feeling of life being lived,Australia is probably not the place to be.

[Perthbum]

Bottom line....majority of kids are different today to what most of us were like, internet Xbox and online games and chat keep kids inside...these are the facts and the sooner we understand todays youth the better.

[Guest Guest62757]

I'm in a different position as I married an Australian 8 years ago in the UK. We lived there until four years ago, had a very nice life, nice house, car and holidays to Europe. Was able to shop at Waitrose & M&S without a worry for finances.

 

Then Hubby suggested moving here. I knew from a previous holiday that I didn't love Australia even though it has beautiful scenery I just didn't feel a connection but having come from a multi cultural family and having grown up as an expat in the middle east I thought it would be no different and that I could do it for my husband. However, how he remembers Australia is a very different country to how it is now.

 

I have been living here for four years now and our standard of living has dropped dramatically, my husband has to commute from the Central Coast to Sydney as this was the only place we could afford to buy a house after having spent so much money renting moldy, cold over priced houses on the north shore which in itself is a soul less place to live. I shop at Aldi and have not had a holiday in 4 years.

 

Most of our friends from London who moved back home to Australia have also struggled to settle back in still think of getting on a plane back! I have also put myself out there, attending many playgroups, posted on forums but as someone else posted you are able to make chit chat with people but finding people who want a new friend is difficult. You see for me there isn't an strong expat community here that there is in the middle east or Asia or even "spain" *shudder*.

 

So after giving it a good crack and putting up with a narcissistic mother in law (I joke not) I was ready to go home to some much needed family support. However, we decided to move interstate and hubby has now been offered a job with a great pay increase in Melbourne. We are going to live closer to the CBD to cut down commute time and this is a new place for both of us to explore as a family and make new friends. From research I can already see that the amenities for families is already substantially more than here in Sydney so I'm looking forward to that.

 

We are going to give Melbourne a good go (3 years at least) and if I am still struggling then we will either move to Asia, NY or back to old blighty. To be honest I would just love to not be so isolated from the rest of the world.

 

So after this long post I would suggest giving it a bit longer or perhaps move interstate to a different part of Australia if you can with your visa. As for your kids in the long run they will appreciate the move as moving overseas gives you a new perspective of the world and different cultures and the ability to hold conversations easily with people.

 

Good luck, its not easy.

[ghost]

Thanks for all your replies. I actually feel a bit better about things today. We are NOR at Yanchep.

 

My Daughter going back is a huge factor in the whole thing. I just caught my wife watching Jordan in England and it was wet and grey. Ive been coasting for a while and I think getting a job will make the difference. Today I do feel like we will go back, im not quite ready to yet, as I do love it here for the most part.

 

We will know what to do at the right time. Im still convinced we did the right thing coming , as like previous posters have said, we would never have known had we not. And I really do "know who my friends are" since being here, im amazed at who has kept in touch and who hasnt. We learn we grow we move forward. If we do go home, Im not going back to my old life, im still moving it forward. Possibly with a bit more contentment about whatI have.

[Dawny]

We returned within the 4 month period, Our choice to return was due to our children, Few people thought we were mad returning so quickly, most were very supportive, especially all those here on pio, our reason was our kid's happiness, they didn't hate oz, but really didn't want to stay, especially our middle one, It got to the point of every morning dreading what the day would bring, Our childrens happiness was the most important, Australia wasn't going anywhere, We didn't really understand the impact moving to oz would have on them, we thought they would soon settle, if anything it got worse instead of better, It really was a no brainer, return and make our children happy and content, or stay and make their day's miserable, So pleased that we chose our kid's happiness, as they are back to their normal selves,

You really have to do what is right for you as a family and no one else, Nobody really knows how they will settle once they are there, for some they settle so quickly without any real effort and others have a hard time!

whatever you chose no one will think any less of you, You tried at the end of the day, and who knows, you may even return,wishing you all the very best whichever path you chose x

[gazsmith]

Good luck to you mate.

 

Is quite easy for me & Sue as we have no children but whatever you decide it has to be for the family unit.

 

As many people say its not for everyone but I think its more the timing in life as to when you make the life changing decisions like emigrating.

 

Nothing ventured nothing gained as they say and I honestly hope it works out for you in Oz.

 

Gary & Sue

[Mrs WebWeazel]

Hey there. Of course everyone must and will make the choices which are right for them. But from my own experience of moving from another country to the UK, the issue of making friends and settling in is a universal one and takes a while to resolve. When we first came over to the UK, we committed to staying at least two years before deciding if we wanted to return. And I'm glad we did that, because the first two years were HARD (and we didn't think the English were that friendly - we were wrong, of course!). But after ten years, I am so very very glad we came, and we have some wonderful friends who we will be devastated to leave when we move to Oz.

 

I'm anticipating that this next move will be the same, but I'm honing my networking skills and bracing myself for the first couple of years. As for my kids (13,5,5) I'm selling it as an opportunity to build essential life skills, and so far they're buying it! ;0)

 

Good luck whatever you decide in the end!

[Missus B]

We are going with a 2 year plan. I moved to England from Ireland 7 years ago. For the first 2 years, I felt like I couldn't settle. Then, gradually, I did. It helped that I bought a house and put my own stamp on it. I too am very sociable but found it difficult. I have great friends now. We are renting the house out in England. I am taking a 2 year career break from work. I am prepared for how hard it will be from the first time round but I have also learned from mistakes and I feel I know what it will take to make it work. My advice is to give it a year. It has probably cost you a small fortune to move out there and will cost you the same if not more to move back. And mortgages are not easy to come by in the UK now, regardless of your credit rating. I hope it gets better for you and your family. There are plenty of meet ups and other people in the same boat as you on here looking to make friends and I'm sure we will be in the same boat when we get out there. All the best:em3600:

[billington22]

It's hard! We came out in September 2010. My husband has really settled and found work he enjoys. My 2 children (6 and 2) also seem to have really settled and love school/childcare. Me? It depends what day/mood I am in!! I do tend to be a little too nostalgic and think that life wasn't really that bad in the UK and maybe i would like to return. I have struggled to find permanent work as a teacher. I had a lovely job in a lovely school in England and have had a bit of a shock at the education system here. I have just finished a 12 month contract in one school. (a nice school but the kids were HARD!!!) I am due to start a job share at another school in Feb.I do miss home especially the family. I have made some great friends here and the closest ones are British! Our settlement agent put us in touch with one family and to be honest if it wasn't for them I think we'd have returned to the UK. They are now 4 years into their new life and went through all the same emotions and worries when they got here. I have also made some great friends through a local facebook group for Brits. It's great because you meet people with similar views on the UK.

 

Personally i don't think 4 months is long enough to call it. I remember sat on Cheapflights.com researching the cost to go home most days in the first 6 months!! People have said to me give it 3 years. There is no right answer or time limit but from talking to ALOT of people who have done the same thing and felt completely lost in the first few months it does get easier.

 

I am going to stick with it for now because the thought of uprooting again feels me with horror!! Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Remember...at least you gave it a go and will not be spending your life wondering....what if?

[fourcorners]

+1 if you are happy in the UK an have a good standard of living why leave...:elvis: its bonkers.

 

It's not bonkers at all!

 

You may be happy and contended wherever you are but that does not mean you should stick with it. If opportunities arise then those with an adventurous spirit will always seek new experiences and adventures no matter how comfortable they are. You only live once and for some people they are happy to live in the same town all their lives and seek nothing more. Others want challenges and grow stale if they stay in the same job or place for too long. It's human nature.

 

Sometimes ventures don't work out how you planned. That happened to us in Canada, we stayed a total of 9 months there. I'm glad I had the experience of living there but it wasn't for me. Prior to that we had a comfortable life in Australia. But it was too comfortable and became boring, so we needed a change. I personally don't see anything wrong with that as long as make the most of your experiences and learn from them.

 

The OP should take the opportunity to have an adventure in Australia. I find that once you've actually made a decision about whether to leave or stay, then you can actually relax and enjoy the time you have left if you are leaving.

 

We know we'll end up back in the UK in around 5 years. That won't stop us making the most of life here, but it just won't be our forever home.

[Paul1Perth]

When I was 16 we moved out of Chesterfield, 4 miles away to North Wingfield. I thought it was the end of the world, my parents taking me away from all my mates. Used to bike back to Chesterfield a lot at first but then met a few people at school, joined the football team, started hanging around with a few guys from the village and my bike trips became less and less.

 

Didn't have skype, computers, reality TV then though to find an excuse not to get out and meet people.

[Paul1Perth]

Actually one doesn't see many kids out anywhere in the Perth Metro area without adults close at hand. Always strikes me as a little odd but there is a strong underlining fear here with regards to danger. I suppose some could think that kids can be a little over protected, a sort of wrapped in cotton wool syndrome,which wouldn't be fat wrong.

Just how great the life style is good for kids is debatable. Reading through the threads though you should get a pretty decent understanding into the oppossing arguements on both sides.

 

Do you ever go down the beach in summer holidays? There are loads of kids down ther on the beach and in the parks. My 2 sit in for a while playing on the playstation or WII but get fed up with it after a while. They can nip over to the park acroos the road where the cricket nets are left up, get their bikes out and go down to Hillary's. I see more kids out on their own here than I used to in the UK. Might be different in different suburbs I guess but there are plenty around us.

[fourcorners]

Well, if you did live in Chessy I'd be pretty scared of the kids who hang around on the streets there now!

 

I think it depends on where you are in the UK as to how many kids you see out and about. Our nephews live in small village in Devon and are always out with their friends, we'd never see much of them except when they get hungry or one of them had fallen out of a tree or fallen in the stream! They had everything they wanted, even their own laptops (they were aged 11 and 8!), but still chose to be outside with their mates.

[Paul1Perth]

I don't think Chesterfields changed too much at all. We were no angels. North Wingfield (and Clay Cross in particular) are like going back in time. They still have mods and rockers.:wink:

[ghost]

No regrets about coming. I had a good life but it was stale and boring. Whatever happens we all will have grown individually. Im enjoying every moment Im here, and making the most of all the things we havent got at home. Most people are telling us weve done more in a few months than they have done in years.

 

Its still early days and we are not making any descisions as yet. I was just airing my feelings as I feel its good therapy to get things off your chest.

 

If we did go back, I would surely make more of the things on our doorstep which we never got to enjoy. I would go to scotland for sure as Ive always wanted to see it. And wow is Europe close. Lifes a journey. Going back to England would not be going backwards. It would be going forwards with what we have learned in Australia.

[sunni1234]

Hi Ghost

 

Which shipping company did you decide to go with in the end?

 

Sorry if you have already posted this somewhere else.

 

Thanks in advance

 

sunni

[Guest Kristov]

One question, why are all the Brits moving to Perth? Its desolate, more going on in Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney. Im 25, lived in Brisbane, had some friends, alot older than me that I met in an AFL club I was working at, then did farming work in Bundaberg, met a girl, met friends and we all located to Sydney. All in all I have been here 2 and a half years and a year of that in Sydney, its hard to meet people in the CBD especially Aussies! Most of my friends are backpackers who move on and I work in a casual role in a small office so finding local friends is difficult. If it wasnt for the people I met in Bundaberg, getting sponsorship etc I would have moved back to Brisbane with my family. Aussies are difficult to relate to, I do not know why....just cannot get on with them, have about 3 Aussie friends! The point I am making is it is hard but do you want to go back to the UK to the cold, recession and just gloom? I would rather be miserable in the sun than the cold. Just keep going, give it 2 years!!!!

[cartertucker]

Hi Ghost...I have just read the whole thread, as we have been here almost 4 months & are feeling the same as you. The good thing for us is that our eldest has got a good mate here & a job, our youngest son is really enjoying his school & has made friends (even had a play date)

I think its more me & the Hubby really struggling here, we have made a few friends, but defo need to go & make more

We are determined to give it at least 2 years here (hopefully make it to citizenship too)

 

I started a thread last week about possibly moving to another state, as mayby this one isnt the right one for us?

 

How are you & the Family doing now, its been a few months since you started this thread & since you last posted

[lucylou1]

I think Phil and his show Relocation DowUnder has alot to answer for. Him and loads of other shows making Australia look like to answer to everyone's dreams.

 

Unfortunatley when you come here you still have the same mundane duties...work eveyday, cleaning house, groceries etc etc etc. It's not a holiday when you live here and thats what they protrait.

 

I hope yuo find what you are looking for but it sounds like you already know the answer and just need some validation. Chalk it up to life experience and move to where makes you happy.

[Skani]

I think Phil and his show Relocation DowUnder has alot to answer for. Him and loads of other shows making Australia look like to answer to everyone's dreams.

 

Unfortunatley when you come here you still have the same mundane duties...work eveyday, cleaning house, groceries etc etc etc. It's not a holiday when you live here and thats what they protrait.

 

 

Unless you have so much money that you don't have to work for a living and can afford to have servants, of course you will still have the same mundane duties. You can't blame the relocation shows for leading people astray in that respect.

[Harpodom]

Unless you have so much money that you don't have to work for a living and can afford to have servants, of course you will still have the same mundane duties. You can't blame the relocation shows for leading people astray in that respect.

I think the 'fault' lies in the collective mindset of Brits who are generally brought up believing most other countries (except 3rd world and 'foreign' ones IYKWIM) are better just by virtue of being not Britain, hence why Aus, NZ, Canada, SA and USA are so popular. Sort of a mixture of xenophobia and self flagellation which is uniquely British.