Cots Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 To cut a long story short, my best friend moved to Gold Coast to be with a man and will have been there 2 years in June. She moved in with her new man and stepson, new man has already lived there 10 years. My friend appears happy but I know she misses the very social life she left here. We have our visa and are planning to join her in the same area when our house sells. We have a for sale sign outside. Her parents have just returned from their second long stay visit and just knocked at my door with presents for my children from their daughter. A very quick door stop, I asked how my friend was, she said fine, she said so you are going then, I said yes, when we sell the house, she said, NOTHING, I said, I am glad I can't read your mind, she said, just think very carefully, and off she went. WHY DO PEOPLE DROP CLANGERS LIKE THAT? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Better to say it before rather than after. I take it there's an issue? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30085 Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Hi Cots It does seem to be a very cutting remark and it may feel a little insensitive to you - but I wouldnt let it play on your mind. Perhaps they are really unhappy about the decision their daughter has made? The possibility of their daughter (or maybe future grandchildren) being so far away is making them see 'how it is over there' in a negative light. If you have concerns for your friends happiness - could you not send her a subtle email asking how she is feeling etc just to rest your own mind. Remember how you experience things in Oz will be very different to how anyone else does. Best of luck for your future plans Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Give it a few days and give her a call and ask her for coffee and then ask her what she meant. She may have information that you need to know but doesnt know how to deliver it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boganbear Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 Without knowing any more it is difficult to say anything but from reading many people's posts on here It seems that family members can be quite nasty when you emigrate. Whether this is due to their jealousy or selfishness as they wont be able to see grandkids etc I dont know. My dad was great about me emigrating and I speak to him more often now on the phone/skype than when i lived in the UK. Speak to your friend on the phone. I;m sure she would love to hear from you and get to the bottom of things. Living in Oz is not the same as in the Uk, it can be hard sometimes but there are also many benefits too. The fact that your friends mum didnt elaborate on her comments may also say a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 If it's their second long stay they may have had "words". No matter how much you miss your family and friends, when they come to stay with you all under the one roof is a strain. Imagine moving back in with your parents when in your 40's and married with a couple of kids. It's a bit like that. We've had parents out here and the first time they came both lots came for 6 weeks. We made a pact that we would tell anyone coming to stay with us that it was a month tops after that.:wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terry & Melanie Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 My parents came out just before Christmas and stayed for 13 weeks, then two weeks after they left my mother in law came for 5 weeks!!! NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!:arghh: I love them all to bits, but........ well like Paul said its a difficult situation and very bitter/sweet, so maybe thats what happened in this case. Ask your friend, Talk to her, she may be able to shed some light on her mothers comment. Melanie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrspotatohead Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 To cut a long story short, my best friend moved to Gold Coast to be with a man and will have been there 2 years in June. She moved in with her new man and stepson, new man has already lived there 10 years. My friend appears happy but I know she misses the very social life she left here. We have our visa and are planning to join her in the same area when our house sells. We have a for sale sign outside. Her parents have just returned from their second long stay visit and just knocked at my door with presents for my children from their daughter. A very quick door stop, I asked how my friend was, she said fine, she said so you are going then, I said yes, when we sell the house, she said, NOTHING, I said, I am glad I can't read your mind, she said, just think very carefully, and off she went. WHY DO PEOPLE DROP CLANGERS LIKE THAT? Maybe before you decided to go, they thought their daughter wouldnt be there permanently due to lack of social life and she is now worried that if you go over and provide her daughter with a proper social life, she will never come back. Lots of people struggle with having relatives so far away. Dont let anyone else put you off your move, I'm a firm believer that Australia will be what you make it (people who go with a negative attitude will no doubt hate every minute of it). Stay positive, and goodluck! :wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Ropey HOFF Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 The reasons could be many and varied. They have seen for themselves that Australia IS a backward third world country. lol Or that it is fantastic, like most of us know it is and they can't ever live there. Or they have consigned themselves to living in Blighty with all the doom and gloom. Or they just miss her. Or ....................... ? Who knows, but............... asking them is pointless because their views will be different to most other peoples views and the only way is to experience Australia yourselves, who knows you might hate it, or............... love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 Just watch wanted down under. I cringe when I see what some of the relatives say back home. Very seflsih attitude. Or maybe the mother just really didnt "get it". I wouldnt worry to much about it. Theres plenty of people on here who went and love it, and plenty who tried it and missed home to much. YOu have to decide to do it for your reasons. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyman Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 Give it a few days and give her a call and ask her for coffee and then ask her what she meant. She may have information that you need to know but doesnt know how to deliver it. i would defo do this...............:yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrspotatohead Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 Just watch wanted down under. I cringe when I see what some of the relatives say back home. Very seflsih attitude. Or maybe the mother just really didnt "get it". I wouldnt worry to much about it. Theres plenty of people on here who went and love it, and plenty who tried it and missed home to much. YOu have to decide to do it for your reasons. Good luck. So true re WDU.....'i wont be able to live without you'...:laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waitingawhile Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 Its not good to make assumptions and I too would do what Quoll suggests. I bet it is the aftermath of leaving her daughter behind though- this is never a good or natural thing for any mother to do and having been there myself, whilst it is great to see family and you want them to come over, taking them back to the airport is traumatic every time. there is always some sort of cost when you swap one life for another, I saw friends in OZ who love it, have built up fab lives and have friends and family living near and yet still go into a minor meltdown when someone ends a much valued visit then pick themselves back up and focus on the next visit whilst enjoying all the country has to offer them! :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 I am bemused by the assumption here that the daughter is doing swimmingly and it is just the mother's chagrin which has made her say what she said. Another way of looking at it could be that her daughter is having a hard time, is trapped or is thinking of returning but hasnt known how to tell her friend who is in the throes of moving. Maybe mum thought the daughter had given the friend a different message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 She may have been attacked by one of those drop bears. Nasty things they are. Can leave you emotionally scarred for years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 I am bemused by the assumption here that the daughter is doing swimmingly and it is just the mother's chagrin which has made her say what she said. Another way of looking at it could be that her daughter is having a hard time, is trapped or is thinking of returning but hasnt known how to tell her friend who is in the throes of moving. Maybe mum thought the daughter had given the friend a different message. My thoughts exactly Quoll. It could be that the daughter is not happy there but hasn't told the OP that in case the OP doesn't go. Having someone from 'home' living in Oz always makes us feel better. I knew many Brits in Oz that are very unhappy there but tell the people back home they love it. (and yes there are loads that really do love it I know) Incidentally though it doesn't mean that the OP will be unhappy just because her friend might be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
street family Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 we have some people putting doubts in our minds all the time e.g. its a sandy desert !!! are sure you have thought about what your doing !!! etc etc mind you these are the people who have never been to oz so how do they know !!I have now learnt to rise above these people and remind myself this is what we want to do as a family .Try not to let them get you down as alot of people wish they were doing it but havn't got the guts !!! good luck.we to are going to the gold coast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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