Guest Neil88 Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Hey guys! I'm new to here, just stumbled across the site yesterday. Basically I've only been in aus for a month and I knew within a few days it wasn't right for me. I don't know how I knew I just did. I feel really homesick and I have a long-term girlfriend back home who I miss dearly (I suppose that don't help!) I'm meant to be staying to get aus citizenship but I think the rules have changed and I now have to wait 4 years instead of 2 , is that true?? I'm going travelling around aus in the next month or two to try and see if it will change my perspective of the place but I just kinda feel like an outcast here. I hav a strong scottish accent and aussies have diffuculty understanding me which isn't helping either. I've been here on holiday plenty of times and loved it but now i'm actually living here things don't seem so 'perfect'. I just needed to speak to somebody neutral about this I suppose, everyone back home wants me to return, but family here want me to stay here. I want to go home but it feels like I'd be wasting an opportunity if I don't at least try, I'm unhappy here tho. Im sure some of you know how i'm feeling so any advice or just anything you could say to help would be great thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuddysMum Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 This should get the ball rolling nicely. I am going to back off and wait for the deluge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Basically I've only been in aus for a month and I knew within a few days it wasn't right for me. I don't know how I knew I just did. If you know, you know! How ever many people you talk to, only you will know how you feel. There are no rights/wrongs with this. It works or it doesnt! I feel really homesick and I have a long-term girlfriend back home who I miss dearly (I suppose that don't help!) Could she get over here with you? Would that be a help or doesnt she want to be in Oz? I'm meant to be staying to get aus citizenship but I think the rules have changed and I now have to wait 4 years instead of 2 , is that true?? It is 4 years I'm going travelling around aus in the next month or two to try and see if it will change my perspective of the place but I just kinda feel like an outcast here. I hav a strong scottish accent and aussies have diffuculty understanding me which isn't helping either. Good on you for looking outside the box and going travelling. You never know, you might stumble on the perfect haven for you! Then again you might not but at least you are having a go!! I've been here on holiday plenty of times and loved it but now i'm actually living here things don't seem so 'perfect'. Its not perfect here by a long shot!! There are good and bad things everywhere! Its VERY different living here to holidaying. One of the reasons I guess that I never did a reccy! I just needed to speak to somebody neutral about this I suppose, everyone back home wants me to return, but family here want me to stay here. I want to go home but it feels like I'd be wasting an opportunity if I don't at least try, I'm unhappy here tho. Im sure some of you know how i'm feeling so any advice or just anything you could say to help would be great thanks You will get tons of comments on here from people who love being here, dont like it here, are going home, have gone home and wish they could go home! There are thousands out there who will know how you feel. Even those that are really settled have gone through what you are feeling. Only you know how you feel and what you can do! GOod Luck, keep posting. We would love to hear of all the places you travel too! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MissMary Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Know exactly how you feel. I've been here a month and a few weeks before I came here i thought what the hell am i doing? I was actually happy in the UK. But the visa took such a long time to come through that by the time i got it, i was starting to change my mind. I too have family here and they really want me to stay and give it a go, but i know in my heart of hearts that this isnt home. But i'm here and making the most of it in the mean time! I have to say that i've given it a go. If you don't give it a good go and try, you'll regret it. I think travelling is a very good idea. Get out there and do it, you may not get this chance again! I've got a job here now and am going to save some money up, and maybe do some travelling before i return the UK. You never know, I may change my mind. But I think if your hearts not in it, then why are you doing it? Some people are great at adapting and starting again, but thats not for everyone and it really isnt a bad thing to know yourself and what makes you happy. If it isn't in Oz then fine, thats your personal choice, at least you've tried it. You probably need to give it some time. Feeling homesick is a horrible feeling, and can cloud your experience here. When i've been asked if i like it here and will i stay I think i've offeneded a few Ozzies by saying yes i like its lovely, but its not for me. But its not home to me. I think if I had a partner here then my attitude towards living here may be different and i could think long term. Maybe your girlfriend could come out here for a holiday? You never know she may love it! Just keep trying, you don't want to look back and think that you didnt make the best of this opportunity xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Hey guys! I'm new to here, just stumbled across the site yesterday. Basically I've only been in aus for a month and I knew within a few days it wasn't right for me. I don't know how I knew I just did. I feel really homesick and I have a long-term girlfriend back home who I miss dearly (I suppose that don't help!) I'm meant to be staying to get aus citizenship but I think the rules have changed and I now have to wait 4 years instead of 2 , is that true?? I'm going travelling around aus in the next month or two to try and see if it will change my perspective of the place but I just kinda feel like an outcast here. I hav a strong scottish accent and aussies have diffuculty understanding me which isn't helping either. I've been here on holiday plenty of times and loved it but now i'm actually living here things don't seem so 'perfect'. I just needed to speak to somebody neutral about this I suppose, everyone back home wants me to return, but family here want me to stay here. I want to go home but it feels like I'd be wasting an opportunity if I don't at least try, I'm unhappy here tho. Im sure some of you know how i'm feeling so any advice or just anything you could say to help would be great thanks What you've been here for a whole month and don't like it. You mean to say you didn't check the rules before you came about citizenship?? Give it a chance mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 It happens, this country is perfect for some and hell for others. Some say you need to give it time, I think you know fairly quickly whether a place is for you or not but of course that doesn't apply to everyone, some take a few years to adapt. I have been here since 1962 on and off and have decided to return 'home'. My wife has been here for 25 years, on and off, and she has never settled here and can't wait to go back. A holiday is very different to actually living somewhere permanently. The problem with these situations is that no 2 people are the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleabo Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Tough call - it is hard being away from a girlfriend. Can she come out and visit while your travelling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sykestykes Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 I get the impression you're quite young Neil with no ties to keep you in Oz? I think you know where you want to be (and who with) and 4 years is a very long time to be somewhere you feel uncomfortable and without your loved one here by your side. Listen to yourself, not everyone else. Good luck Sue x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 I agree with Sue above, and I will just say, dont worry about the accent thing. Where we live there are tonnes of Scots, mostly Policemen funnily enough, my OH's football team are all Scots except for one English (my OH) and one Welsh! One of the chaps I was chatting to the other night was a copper from Glasgow and yes I couldnt understand him, but my OH is from Bath and none of his Aussie colleagues understand him either :biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Neil88 Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Thanks for the answers so far guys. My Girlfriend can't come out unfortunately because she's currently studying and can't leave her course. I'm only 21 and came out planning to stay for two years to get my citizenship so i'd always have the option to come and go, now I know it's 4 years I dont think I can wait that long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Ropey HOFF Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 The pull of family is the hardest thing to overcome and feeling that Australia isn't for you within a month is no reflection on Australia, it is a reflection of someones own personal circumstances and we are all different. Best of luck with what you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 It is hard and it is lonely at first, especially at your age if you are on your own. Only you can know what to do really. A lot would depend on where in Australia you are, too. Some parts are more 'foreign' to someone from the UK than others I think. It may get better for you as time goes on but equally, it may get worse. Finding a few mates would probably help you, either way- are you working? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratchet Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 ah this country isnt for everyone. i think its been said before. when it doesnt meet expectations you start to think about running back to the comfort of blighty. At 21 the world is your oyster, what you invest now will be yours to reep in the future. 4 years isnt forever, just feels big at the moment ....... Youve made a huge move and your right, its not the same as a holiday. im glad your going to stick about for a bit longer. i think you may find the place you feel right if you go looking. Where are you? Ive met lots of brits recently who have toured and have found themselves at home over here in melbourne. Might be worth a visit?? ggood luck mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kevinboomer Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Hey guys! I'm new to here, just stumbled across the site yesterday. Basically I've only been in aus for a month and I knew within a few days it wasn't right for me. I don't know how I knew I just did. I feel really homesick and I have a long-term girlfriend back home who I miss dearly (I suppose that don't help!) I'm meant to be staying to get aus citizenship but I think the rules have changed and I now have to wait 4 years instead of 2 , is that true?? I'm going travelling around aus in the next month or two to try and see if it will change my perspective of the place but I just kinda feel like an outcast here. I hav a strong scottish accent and aussies have diffuculty understanding me which isn't helping either. I've been here on holiday plenty of times and loved it but now i'm actually living here things don't seem so 'perfect'. I just needed to speak to somebody neutral about this I suppose, everyone back home wants me to return, but family here want me to stay here. I want to go home but it feels like I'd be wasting an opportunity if I don't at least try, I'm unhappy here tho. Im sure some of you know how i'm feeling so any advice or just anything you could say to help would be great thanks Hey buddy, I was brought up in Glasgow so i know that feeling. Do yourself a favour , go travelling meet people have a great time ........... and go home!!! It ain't for you mate !!! Your a young man ! Got alot to see do and learn !!!! People struggle to do this in their 40's never mind in their 20's. Be happy !!! Go back and love your girl , and come back if you want , when and if your ready ! Good luck !!! Kev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Sorry to hear your feeling unsettled and you're right being away from your OH probably won't be helping matters when you miss them and they're missing you. 4 years is a long time to wait if you're unhappy .... great idea to travel and see what else Aus has to offer, if nothing else you'll have explored other areas and had a bit of an adventure. Good Luck Ali x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rammygirl Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Thanks for the answers so far guys. My Girlfriend can't come out unfortunately because she's currently studying and can't leave her course. I'm only 21 and came out planning to stay for two years to get my citizenship so i'd always have the option to come and go, now I know it's 4 years I dont think I can wait that long. Can she maybe come out in the long summer break?? Also you do not have to stay in Oz for the whole 4 years. The new rules state you must not have been absent for more than one year during the 4 qualifying years and within that no longer than 90 days in the final year before applying. So you can spend some time in the UK too. Check the rules here.Australian Citizenship – Application process for Australian citizenship You may well regret not getting the citizenship . But if your family are in Oz you may be able to get an RRV when your visa right to re-enter runs out (normally the PR visa lasts for 5 years before you need to be resident in Oz then you need an RRV or Citizenship to travel. So you COULD go back to Uk then return several years later. Research your options you might feel less trapped if you know you CAN go back to UK for a year or so. I find it helps to have a plan - something to aim for. Maybe if you did a 5 year plan it would help. You could include what you want to get out of the Oz experience, how you can spend time with your OH, career goals, lifestyle goals. Oz doesn't have to be forever but maybe having the choice of the UK (plus by default Europe) and Oz (and NZ) as places to live and work and maybe bring up a family in the future will be a good thing. Keep positive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docboat Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 You know your own feelings, so go with them. One word though - whatever you decide, in a few years time you will think you made the wrong choice. For example, relationships, when they are in bloom, are delightful. When they sour, you want to hide away and die. Travel, get a feel for different places. At the very worst, your CV will show you have been adventurous and self-reliant. I grew up in WA, left (against my will) for UK (never again) and settled in Germany (might work, but even there, Niedersachsen was fine, Munich excellent, but Sylt and Norderney - good places to visit,but never to live) and Asia. Now back in WA after being told to "settle down" and I asked myself why did I ever leave? And the answer is this - if I had not left, I would not have had all the brilliant experiences I have been privileged to witness. But I am happy where I am. Maybe you will have the same joys? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Neil88 Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 No I'm not working, I haven't been able to find a job in my field. I was under the impression before I left that Australia was desperate for workers but I just can't find anything. I think I'm going to travel for a few months, enjoy my time here and experience as much as i can then go home to be with my girl. My old boss said If it didnt work out he would always have a job open for me so that wouldn't be so bad. Thanks for your help guys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcatania Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 Thanks for the answers so far guys. My Girlfriend can't come out unfortunately because she's currently studying and can't leave her course. I'm only 21 and came out planning to stay for two years to get my citizenship so i'd always have the option to come and go, now I know it's 4 years I dont think I can wait that long. What do you want citizenship for if you can't even stomach 2 years in this place???????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcatania Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 Following on from above..... she must have been a great girlfriend if you planned on ditching her for even 2 years.... you think she would have been been there for you when you got back ?? Sorry, this and the above quote is just stating the plain obvious. Obviously you are pretty young... Just go out backpacking and enjoy it. This should be a dream for most your age. You wait 15 years like me and then it becomes a proper problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luton38 Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 Hey guys! I'm new to here, just stumbled across the site yesterday. Basically I've only been in aus for a month and I knew within a few days it wasn't right for me. I don't know how I knew I just did. I feel really homesick and I have a long-term girlfriend back home who I miss dearly (I suppose that don't help!) I'm meant to be staying to get aus citizenship but I think the rules have changed and I now have to wait 4 years instead of 2 , is that true?? I'm going travelling around aus in the next month or two to try and see if it will change my perspective of the place but I just kinda feel like an outcast here. I hav a strong scottish accent and aussies have diffuculty understanding me which isn't helping either. I've been here on holiday plenty of times and loved it but now i'm actually living here things don't seem so 'perfect'. I just needed to speak to somebody neutral about this I suppose, everyone back home wants me to return, but family here want me to stay here. I want to go home but it feels like I'd be wasting an opportunity if I don't at least try, I'm unhappy here tho. Im sure some of you know how i'm feeling so any advice or just anything you could say to help would be great thanks Just felt the need to say that always go with your gut instinct. We were only here for a month and I really knew that it was not for me but my husband had always wanted to come back to Australia (he lived here for 8 years in the 80's) so I agreed to stay. To cut a long story short I have been here for 7 years and everyday is a battle. I just want to go home to the extent I have clinical depression and a number of other illnesses caused by stress. Unfortunately for me I can not just 'Go home' my husband and 2 children (19 & 15) who love it here and do not want to leave. Just take the opportunity to travel oz maybe for a few months and go home to where you feel you belong. Life is to short to worry about the small stuff (Like Citizenship) I have Citizenship but you know what it doesn't change the fact that I don't want to be here. Good luck what ever you decide to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keily Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 Hey guys! I'm new to here, just stumbled across the site yesterday. Basically I've only been in aus for a month and I knew within a few days it wasn't right for me. I don't know how I knew I just did. I feel really homesick and I have a long-term girlfriend back home who I miss dearly (I suppose that don't help!) I'm meant to be staying to get aus citizenship but I think the rules have changed and I now have to wait 4 years instead of 2 , is that true?? I'm going travelling around aus in the next month or two to try and see if it will change my perspective of the place but I just kinda feel like an outcast here. I hav a strong scottish accent and aussies have diffuculty understanding me which isn't helping either. I've been here on holiday plenty of times and loved it but now i'm actually living here things don't seem so 'perfect'. I just needed to speak to somebody neutral about this I suppose, everyone back home wants me to return, but family here want me to stay here. I want to go home but it feels like I'd be wasting an opportunity if I don't at least try, I'm unhappy here tho. Im sure some of you know how i'm feeling so any advice or just anything you could say to help would be great thanks hey neil ....have a look at my post ....what a difference a year makes ....sorry dont know how to do a link ....but its about my daughter who is the same age as u ... mrs keily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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