Poms Going Home to UK (register)

[Quoll]

I REALLY want to go back, i have been here 2 months and really not liking it that much, loads of issues i dont really want to say about that are making me want to return. My only concern is that the kids love it here....but as a single parent here im not entitled to any benefits at all and at home i can at least get child benefit, gotta be here 2 years for that. But money isnt the main reason for going.

 

I would get on a plane today with the kids and go back but for the guilt of them.

 

So realllllly in a dilema, i know kids will settle anywhere but my container hasnt even arrived yet lol...and they are missing their stuff so would be cruel to make them wait another 3 months.

 

I just feel sooo crap and been sooo down since i got here.

 

Dont feel guilty about your kids - for them, this has been something of a holiday and who doesnt love a holiday? They would probably love being back with their extended family as well and would probably make the trip to Uk with no qualms at all.

 

As for missing their stuff - sure, but maybe they would rather miss their stuff than their people.

 

OTOH it does seem that many people who head back within those first few months then become wracked with angst about not having given it longer to try and settle here - and many of them pingpong back.

 

At the end of the day though, what your kids need is a happy dad and that trumps all other material things. Where will you be a happy dad?

[caramac]

I REALLY want to go back, i have been here 2 months and really not liking it that much, loads of issues i dont really want to say about that are making me want to return. My only concern is that the kids love it here....but as a single parent here im not entitled to any benefits at all and at home i can at least get child benefit, gotta be here 2 years for that. But money isnt the main reason for going.

 

I would get on a plane today with the kids and go back but for the guilt of them.

 

So realllllly in a dilema, i know kids will settle anywhere but my container hasnt even arrived yet lol...and they are missing their stuff so would be cruel to make them wait another 3 months.

 

I just feel sooo crap and been sooo down since i got here.

 

Hi Andrew, I'm so sorry you're not enjoying life at the moment. This moving to the other side of the world lark is tough enough and even tougher when you're doing it alone, I would imagine.

I would agree that 2 months is quite a short time to be here (it took me 2 years to settle in Perth!), but you probably need to look at why you wanted to come here in the first place. Are those reasons still valid for you? If not, then maybe cutting your losses (and I know they can be considerable in every way!) and going home maybe be best for your family. If you still believe that Australia is the best place for you ALL, then perhaps try to give it longer. There are always 'teething' problems with any move. Are yours just this, or something more fundamental?

We have just made the decision to go back after 11 months because, although this should have been career progression for my husband, he's actually gone back a good 10 years in his profession, and my girls detest their school and have made no academic progress at all over the past year. These are good enough reasons for us.

Don't worry about your children too much (easier said than done, I know); they're tougher than we give them credit for and it may be better to move them now, if that's what you decide, than let them really settle and move later. Your children will be happy if you are, wherever that is.

Good luck

[Guest Andrew6]

Dont feel guilty about your kids - for them, this has been something of a holiday and who doesnt love a holiday? They would probably love being back with their extended family as well and would probably make the trip to Uk with no qualms at all.

 

As for missing their stuff - sure, but maybe they would rather miss their stuff than their people.

 

OTOH it does seem that many people who head back within those first few months then become wracked with angst about not having given it longer to try and settle here - and many of them pingpong back.

 

At the end of the day though, what your kids need is a happy dad and that trumps all other material things. Where will you be a happy dad?

 

Hi thanks, sorry im Nickie should have signed it..Andrew is my surname.

 

Your comments make sense....its soo hard to know what to do for the best......I came here to give the kids a better life but have got a job which is great but it now means they have to go into breakfast, afterschool and holiday care..which is something i never had to do in the uk......:no:

 

nickie

[Liz B]

Hi thanks, sorry im Nickie should have signed it..Andrew is my surname.

 

Your comments make sense....its soo hard to know what to do for the best......I came here to give the kids a better life but have got a job which is great but it now means they have to go into breakfast, afterschool and holiday care..which is something i never had to do in the uk......:no:

 

nickie

 

Hi Nickie,

 

Are you not eligible to get family assistance and child care cost refunds with your visa?

 

As it has been said, don't feel guilty about what you have to do. The kids would be fine, I know I worried too much about moving the kids here and there the past few years, but now I think at least they have had the opportunity to live in different places.

 

If you need anyone to talk to, then feel free to get in touch.

 

Liz

:hug:

[Guest Andrew6]

Hi Nickie,

 

Are you not eligible to get family assistance and child care cost refunds with your visa?

 

As it has been said, don't feel guilty about what you have to do. The kids would be fine, I know I worried too much about moving the kids here and there the past few years, but now I think at least they have had the opportunity to live in different places.

 

If you need anyone to talk to, then feel free to get in touch.

 

Liz

:hug:

 

Hi no, not even entitled to get centerlink...childbenefit...till im a permanant resident, wont be a permanant resident for 2 years...

 

Have made up my mind, im going back, went to the estate agent just now and asked for my rent back....have paid a year up front....think if i can get back before xmas then the kids can settle down and have new pressies there and not have to wait for it all to be shipped over.....thanks for your words of support..was worried i was gonna get a slating lol.

 

Im just emotionally drained and really need the support of my friends...have no family in uk but the kids have good friends there and so do i. Although i do have good friends here too but its not the same...god im waffling now.

 

Nickie. xx

[Quoll]

Sorry Nickie - um, the kids need a happy mum too!!!:hug:

 

I hope that you can find a niche where you are all happy and supported. It must be incredibly hard for a single parent moving here on their own - heck it was hard enough moving here with an Aus husband who was a workaholic and no friends or family from either of us. My hat is off to you for giving it a go!

[Guest Andrew6]

Sorry Nickie - um, the kids need a happy mum too!!!:hug:

 

I hope that you can find a niche where you are all happy and supported. It must be incredibly hard for a single parent moving here on their own - heck it was hard enough moving here with an Aus husband who was a workaholic and no friends or family from either of us. My hat is off to you for giving it a go!

 

Thanks, I did give it a go but seriously getting more and more down and just want to get back and be more stable.

Not looking forward to telling the kids who are 12 years, 11 years and 6 years but going to try and get them back in their old schools so they arent having to start all over again making friends. Shame as the youngest has only just settled into school here.

Lots of guilt trips for me but i think its the right thing to do.

 

Nickie

[Liz B]

Hi Nickie,

 

Are you not eligible to get family assistance and child care cost refunds with your visa?

 

As it has been said, don't feel guilty about what you have to do. The kids would be fine, I know I worried too much about moving the kids here and there the past few years, but now I think at least they have had the opportunity to live in different places.

 

If you need anyone to talk to, then feel free to get in touch.

 

Liz

:hug:

 

Have sent you a PM, if I have done it right!

 

Also I have ups and downs, it is perfectly normal.

 

Liz

[Guest MSTO]

Hey Nikki

 

You have got to do what is right for you and your children...ok Australia might have given them a better life but who made that rule up...what you do for your children will make them be people they are today....dont get me wrong but I had lots of reservations about taking my boys to the Uk but I know I can give them a excellent life in the UK with lots of love around them and they will still enoy doing stuff with mammy and daddy cos thats what we do...be in Englnad or Oz we will enjoy our family weekends like we do now and guess what we will have lots of family around us to enhoy this.

 

I have lived out here for 5 years and in that time I have had 2 boys..I loved it when it was just me and hubby but now we have the boys the sacrifices to live in Australia do not compare to having a huge loving family around you...each to their own..buts thats my thoughts

 

You just do what is right for you and your family and I wish you every luck in the world

[caramac]

Hi no, not even entitled to get centerlink...childbenefit...till im a permanant resident, wont be a permanant resident for 2 years...

 

Have made up my mind, im going back, went to the estate agent just now and asked for my rent back....have paid a year up front....think if i can get back before xmas then the kids can settle down and have new pressies there and not have to wait for it all to be shipped over.....thanks for your words of support..was worried i was gonna get a slating lol.

 

Im just emotionally drained and really need the support of my friends...have no family in uk but the kids have good friends there and so do i. Although i do have good friends here too but its not the same...god im waffling now.

 

Nickie. xx

 

Congratulations Nickie! I hope you'll all be very happy back in the UK:smile:

[Guest Aldo]

Any more?

[fantasia]

Any more?

Hi Aldo

 

How does one deal with Aussie Sydney Westie thing - Came home from work today to For Sale sign and "sold" sign put over sign and some lovely neighbour wrote above sold sign "thank ****"

[Guest Aldo]

Hi Aldo

 

How does one deal with Aussie Sydney Westie thing - Came home from work today to For Sale sign and "sold" sign put over sign and some lovely neighbour wrote above sold sign "thank ****"

 

you just know that he is nowhere near as relieved as you...

[Guest Chic]

Nickie - You don't need to feel guilty about anything you do, you must do what you feel is right and the kids will survive and thank you for it later in life.

 

I felt that coming to Oz would give my kids a better life but have only just realised that life would be better back in UK....lots of reasons, mainly family and the way we live our life in the UK. I now realise that I love my country and want to be there, belong and be happy and it's the right thing to do. Unfortunately for us having only been here 9 weeks we have 34 months left of my husband's contract so will treat this as a working holiday, I know for sure that I do not want to grow old here as do many of you. If I could get on a plane and go home today I would....so for me roll on Christmas 2012 when I will be home for ever and be very very happy.

 

Good luck to you all in returning to our once forgotten country that we couldn't wait to get out of to a now much loved country that you can appreciate so much more.

[Guest funkylad]

Nickie - You don't need to feel guilty about anything you do, you must do what you feel is right and the kids will survive and thank you for it later in life.

 

I felt that coming to Oz would give my kids a better life but have only just realised that life would be better back in UK....lots of reasons, mainly family and the way we live our life in the UK. I now realise that I love my country and want to be there, belong and be happy and it's the right thing to do. Unfortunately for us having only been here 9 weeks we have 34 months left of my husband's contract so will treat this as a working holiday, I know for sure that I do not want to grow old here as do many of you. If I could get on a plane and go home today I would....so for me roll on Christmas 2012 when I will be home for ever and be very very happy.

 

Good luck to you all in returning to our once forgotten country that we couldn't wait to get out of to a now much loved country that you can appreciate so much more.

hi, yes that is until you get back here in the uk, you will want to get back to oz, you need to give 100% in oz otherwise it will never work forget about this **** hole uk. and enjoy your time in oz. sorry but had to be said.

[Guest MSTO]

hi, yes that is until you get back here in the uk, you will want to get back to oz, you need to give 100% in oz otherwise it will never work forget about this **** hole uk. and enjoy your time in oz. sorry but had to be said.

 

Have you lived in Australia then?

[Guest Guest31881]

hi, yes that is until you get back here in the uk, you will want to get back to oz, you need to give 100% in oz otherwise it will never work forget about this **** hole uk. and enjoy your time in oz. sorry but had to be said.

 

Sorry i have to disagree, I am now living in Australia and love it, but it is not for everyone. Some come here with various expectations, and find that for various reasons they cannot settle here. Its not a matter of one country being better than another. Its more a case of where you feel happier. For some that is Australia, for others it will be the UK.

[Bod]

hi, yes that is until you get back here in the uk, you will want to get back to oz, you need to give 100% in oz otherwise it will never work forget about this **** hole uk. and enjoy your time in oz. sorry but had to be said.

 

 

So you know this do you Fnuky. I never got on with Aus," it just did not happen for me" but now more settled in the UK more than I have ever been,

 

You seem to be a very negative person who this country willnever miss.

 

Good luck in Australia I do hope it works for you.

 

[Guest vidal1974]

Hiya, the following is MY experiences only:

I have an Australian hubby but our daughter was born in the UK.

I travelled here in 2007 as a backpacker (an older one at that!) and I had no intentions of staying.

I fell pregnant and had to rethink things, my hubby begged me to stay but I just couldn't, it wasn't for me and the health care I had received at the local hospital (maternity ward) was appaling and as this was my 1st child I just wanted to go home to what I knew and trusted (NHS).

My hubby works on a very large feedlot and there is no work quite like that in the UK.

Even still, we moved back to the UK Jan 2008. He hated it from the word go, crap job, crap weather..Crap cars (apparently?!)

He eventually persuaded me to move back to Oz Nov 2008 and it was the worst thing I have ever done.

All the reasons stated on here sound so so familiar, I am so fed up with trying so damned hard, speaking with people and being ignored (including neighbours), being called a pommie every time I see hubby's friends and family. Hearing British people being slated on the television also.

I have never been so lonely in my entire life, I speak only to my 16 month toddler from day to day because the locals are too rude to continue conversations I start.

IMO the average Australian is poorly educated and has no real understanding of the 'outside' world, I have been told by family in WA that it is very much a QLD thing...I have no idea if that is true.

This is now my 14th month (this time round) and I am desperate to return home, but it means persuading hubby because I can not take our daughter out of Australia without his permission, he is less than keen but is a good man and has at this point agreed that actually life close to my family in the UK would be better for both us as a couple and for our daughter, especially for her actually.

I am soooooooooo looking forward to having a life again, I have never lived so much like a hermit or come across so many boring people. And that is just MY experiences.

I have a brother who is emigrating with his wife and kids next year and he thinks I am crazy wanting to return, but as I have told him...I have 'lived' it, he has merely taken a 2 week rece holiday...Very different.

This thread has been interesting and even my hubby has been agreeing with alot of things, thank you all so much for sharing your experiences...

 

Victoria

[Guest Guest31881]

Hiya, the following is MY experiences only:

I have an Australian hubby but our daughter was born in the UK.

I travelled here in 2007 as a backpacker (an older one at that!) and I had no intentions of staying.

I fell pregnant and had to rethink things, my hubby begged me to stay but I just couldn't, it wasn't for me and the health care I had received at the local hospital (maternity ward) was appaling and as this was my 1st child I just wanted to go home to what I knew and trusted (NHS).

My hubby works on a very large feedlot and there is no work quite like that in the UK.

Even still, we moved back to the UK Jan 2008. He hated it from the word go, crap job, crap weather..Crap cars (apparently?!)

He eventually persuaded me to move back to Oz Nov 2008 and it was the worst thing I have ever done.

All the reasons stated on here sound so so familiar, I am so fed up with trying so damned hard, speaking with people and being ignored (including neighbours), being called a pommie every time I see hubby's friends and family. Hearing British people being slated on the television also.

I have never been so lonely in my entire life, I speak only to my 16 month toddler from day to day because the locals are too rude to continue conversations I start.

IMO the average Australian is poorly educated and has no real understanding of the 'outside' world, I have been told by family in WA that it is very much a QLD thing...I have no idea if that is true.

This is now my 14th month (this time round) and I am desperate to return home, but it means persuading hubby because I can not take our daughter out of Australia without his permission, he is less than keen but is a good man and has at this point agreed that actually life close to my family in the UK would be better for both us as a couple and for our daughter, especially for her actually.

I am soooooooooo looking forward to having a life again, I have never lived so much like a hermit or come across so many boring people. And that is just MY experiences.

I have a brother who is emigrating with his wife and kids next year and he thinks I am crazy wanting to return, but as I have told him...I have 'lived' it, he has merely taken a 2 week rece holiday...Very different.

This thread has been interesting and even my hubby has been agreeing with alot of things, thank you all so much for sharing your experiences...

 

Victoria

 

A very honest and frank posting, You have spent time here and lived the 'life' if it is not the life for you then you will be happier in the UK. Australia is not a guarentee of happiness. it suits some of us and can be worst experiance ever for others. Good luck for the future and I hope you and your hubby settle in the UK. :notworthy:

[fantasia]

Hi Vidal 1974,

 

I very much agree with your comments re. rude unfriendly, un-educated Australians. Obviously not all Australians are rude etc - maybe a bit blunt and sometimes a bit nosey but my experience has been thus.......

 

I am returning to UK in February having sold my house to a very nice Australian lady - so nice in fact I am wondering whether I should have come clean re. the neighbours in the cul de sac where I have lived for the past 9 years. A two faced nasty bunch of what's that term they use over here "drop kicks" !!!! So much nasty gossip, vandalsim to my partner's work vehicle, broken glass strewn on front lawn, garbage bins placed outside front door - and more recently the Estate Agent's For Sale board above the "Sold" sign - the words "thank f***" written in black felt tip pen. Have my suspicions who is responsible but obviously can't prove it and owing to this person being the degenerate offspring of an equally degenerate neighbour - can't really do anthing about it - but wait out the final 9 weeks in Australia and hope that nothing else happens to my house and/or pets whilst I am at work!!!

 

Already heard via grapevine that the father of said degenerate neighbour has threatened to injure my cat as he says that my cat sits near the cage he keeps his poor unloved Siberian Huskies (which he was going to breed for profit - although absolutely no experience in dog breeding I wouldn't imagine!) and makes his dogs bark! Not true as my cat hardly wanders past the front garden!!!

 

But as I said before anyone jumps down my throat - I have lived in Australia for 14 years - I have met some very nice Australians (just unfortunate I chose to buy my home in the area I did - and so experienced the not so nice Australians ) - I think the motto of this story is choose very carefully where you live - visit the street at all times of day and night to see what is going on (loud noisy drunken behaviour which appears rife around here!)

[fantasia]

Whoops - meant moral of story - sorry -

[Guest treesea]

Hiya, the following is MY experiences only:

I have an Australian hubby but our daughter was born in the UK.

I travelled here in 2007 as a backpacker (an older one at that!) and I had no intentions of staying.

I fell pregnant and had to rethink things, my hubby begged me to stay but I just couldn't, it wasn't for me and the health care I had received at the local hospital (maternity ward) was appaling and as this was my 1st child I just wanted to go home to what I knew and trusted (NHS).

My hubby works on a very large feedlot and there is no work quite like that in the UK.

Even still, we moved back to the UK Jan 2008. He hated it from the word go, crap job, crap weather..Crap cars (apparently?!)

He eventually persuaded me to move back to Oz Nov 2008 and it was the worst thing I have ever done.

All the reasons stated on here sound so so familiar, I am so fed up with trying so damned hard, speaking with people and being ignored (including neighbours), being called a pommie every time I see hubby's friends and family. Hearing British people being slated on the television also.

I have never been so lonely in my entire life, I speak only to my 16 month toddler from day to day because the locals are too rude to continue conversations I start.

IMO the average Australian is poorly educated and has no real understanding of the 'outside' world, I have been told by family in WA that it is very much a QLD thing...I have no idea if that is true.

This is now my 14th month (this time round) and I am desperate to return home, but it means persuading hubby because I can not take our daughter out of Australia without his permission, he is less than keen but is a good man and has at this point agreed that actually life close to my family in the UK would be better for both us as a couple and for our daughter, especially for her actually.

I am soooooooooo looking forward to having a life again, I have never lived so much like a hermit or come across so many boring people. And that is just MY experiences.

I have a brother who is emigrating with his wife and kids next year and he thinks I am crazy wanting to return, but as I have told him...I have 'lived' it, he has merely taken a 2 week rece holiday...Very different.

This thread has been interesting and even my hubby has been agreeing with alot of things, thank you all so much for sharing your experiences...

 

Victoria

 

Good luck with moving back to the UK. I sympathise about the car. I miss my Australian car (a 4.1 litre Ford Fairmont Ghia, top of the range - it was poetry in motion AND automatic). Brits are not really into automatic cars. It's taken us both a while to get used to being home cars wise - a place where a two litre car is considered a waste of money to run, and the roads are narrow enough to make that two litre car seem big.

 

As to weather, if you fancy dry and sunny, I recommend the east coast. Cool rather than warm though.

 

It's hard when you have an OH who prefers Australia to the UK - I know, I've got one - but sometimes you just have to do what's best for your sanity and your children.

[Guest JohnAvoca]

I know a lot of Brits who've migrated here, stayed for a few years, went back to the UK and then return to Oz. I think it's like a kind of delayed homesickness thing. Australia has the same problems as everywhere else it's just that all-in-all problems those problems are so in your face as they are in the UK. On my blog mylifeinaustralia.com I've tried to tell people what life is really like Down Under. There's the good, the bad and the ugly. Here though is a tongue in cheek list of reasons for women to migrate:

 

1. If you’re not overly keen on your husband/partner there’s a pretty good chance you won’t have to see a lot of him anyway. Australia is bursting with so many blokey things to do that most men can’t find enough hours in the day to play with all their grown-up boys toys.

2. A lot of these pursuits involve being outdoors and actually moving. You can look forward to your couch potato developing a tan and a six pack.

3. You’ll loose weight. Seriously. It ought to be called the migrant diet. First, you’ll be so stressed about the whole move that you’ll shed pounds. Then, once you’ve settled you’ll find the abundance of fresh fruit and veggies makes it easier to eat lean.

4. It’s nearly always BBQ weather which means he’ll do more cooking. As all Australian’s know, BBQ’s are built so that they can only be operated by men. Some blokes get so wedded to their BBQ’s that you have to prise them away.

5. There’s no Marks and Sparks. You’ll save heaps of cash.

6. Aussie women always seem to have better jobs than their men, at least most of the women I know do. It’s like it’s some kind of law. Since coming here I’ve met numerous high flying women attached to middling men. Migrate to Australia and if you’re a woman you’ll probably get a promotion thrown in.

[T-bone]

Arrived September 09

 

Going home May 10

 

Lived Lake Macquarrie

 

Can't wait to get back to my beautiful home!