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Children - what happens if you/your partner decide to go home.....


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Guest guest22466

Yes Rammygirl your not wrong there. Does anyone know of any parent who has set up custody documents in the UK before coming to Australia and the document has been used in court in Australia to relocate back to the UK and that the document would overide the Hague Convention laws.

 

I think parents think that because they are ALL UK citizens that there is not a problem returning home with the children regardless of any type of visa each and every parent and child comes into Australia on wether it be perm or temp visa on entry.

 

Just think twice before applying to migrate knowing that you may be the only member of the family granted a temporary visa and if the relationship falls apart before you can get a perm visa that you are left having to leave your children in Australia who has a perm visa with the other parent.

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Guest Andrew6

Im planning to go back to the uk with the kids in july or aug..long story but thats when i can get back. Im hoping that my ex doesnt know about this as we arent actually divorced yet. What annoys me is that if he goes back to the uk i HAVE to go back cos of the visa..but if i want to go back then he doesnt have to...not fair. x

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Guest guest22466

Andrew6 If you return to the UK with your children and your ex does not agree he can contact scotland yard in the uk and through the high court in London WILL have the children returned back to Australia and YOU can be charged with child abduction... .. im talking from known experiences of many parents. The courts and police DO NOT care if YOU will not return with the child back to Australia the police WILL bring them back to Australia themselves the courts DO NOT care if you dont have anywhere to live back in Australia on return, no money, if your sick and if you DO NOT have any help and support when you have to return Australia with your children .The Hague Convention Law DOES NOT care which parent has which visa this law is that the children CAN NOT be removed from their place of residence without FULL consent of both parents which is Australia. You will be ordered to return to Australia and then the UK courts they will advise you to apply to relocate back to the UK when you get back to Australia which is at a huge cost $60,000 plus and the courts may or may not grant the relocation which in my case it was not granted and I had only been in Australia 18 mths and still had a house back in the Uk and my EX is a UK citizen too. If your ex is ok with you taking the children to the UK it is not a problem but if not then the above is the process. I wish you luck and take care.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Im back in UK WITHOUT my child!!!

 

Trying to get a visa to get back out there to be with her as soon as possible.

 

One a good note, my daughter loves Australia, but it is so bad not having her with me..........

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Im back in UK WITHOUT my child!!!

 

Trying to get a visa to get back out there to be with her as soon as possible.

 

One a good note, my daughter loves Australia, but it is so bad not having her with me..........

 

Oh dear, that is horrible for you. I do hope you can get something sorted out asap - I hope you have a good lawyer/agent on your side. I cannot fathom how a legal system can do that to a parent! Nor how an ex partner could be so vitriolic and manipulative!

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Guest guest22466

I feel so sad for tri16 and your daughter. I hope you can get back to Australia on a visa that will allow you to be with your daughter. This is happens more than people on this site will know and it needs to be talked about and looked into before moving to another country with your children. Its not as easy as well if it does not work out I will just take the children back home.......to the Uk

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Guest Guest31881

Its a terrible situation to be in, my heart goes out to anyone who is involved in a relationship breakdown, but in these circumstances where a family is split and they are thousands of miles apart it must be heartbreaking.

 

I hope you can find an answer

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Im back in UK WITHOUT my child!!!

 

Trying to get a visa to get back out there to be with her as soon as possible.

 

One a good note, my daughter loves Australia, but it is so bad not having her with me..........

 

Jeepers, poor you and poor daughter. Why on earth did your ex not allow her to leave with you if your not allowed to stay in the country?

 

If things get messy or you want some free advice please contact this organization called Reunite Reunite International they are there to help families separated from their children, regardless if its child abduction or not. Of course child abduction and the Hague Convention are their specialty, but they can advise you or point you in the right direction for many problems regarding children and separation from a parent.

 

I hope Christmas was as pleasant as it could have been for you all, and I hope 2010 is a much happier year.

 

Take care x

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Guest vidal1974

This is a fantastic post. It IS a very real problem, and please take caution if your spouse is Aussie because unless that parent is particularly understanding and has a sense of what is truly right you are stuck here for life.

I have now heard of so many women stuck over here without friends or family because their Aussie hubby's will not allow them to leave with their child, some even have very litle contact with the child now...But THAT is a whole other story!

Beware ladies.

 

This is from MY experiences and is MY opinion.

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Guest guest22466
This is a fantastic post. It IS a very real problem, and please take caution if your spouse is Aussie because unless that parent is particularly understanding and has a sense of what is truly right you are stuck here for life.

I have now heard of so many women stuck over here without friends or family because their Aussie hubby's will not allow them to leave with their child, some even have very litle contact with the child now...But THAT is a whole other story!

Beware ladies.

 

This is from MY experiences and is MY opinion.

 

 

Also your OH does NOT have to be aussie he can be from the UK just like yourself. In my case we were both british, met in the UK, married in the Uk, our son was born in the UK it does not matter................ the Hauge Convention Laws do not care about that and what situation you and your child are in here in Australia away from your family and friends....................SO THINK LONG AND HARD ITS NOT ALWAYS AS BLACK AND WHITE AS IT SEEMS.........My declined relocation case cost me and my ex $120,000 we had only been in the country 18ths ....My ex only NOW only sees his son once a fortnight and half school hols and pays $5 in CSA payments a week......so my son and I are the ones doing it tough on our own in Australia not him as he has family here who are helping and supporting him...............for the little bit he does and pays....

 

Im sorry but people need to be aware of what they are doing when they emigrate wether on a temp or perm visa with children to Australia ....its real ...it happens...more than anyone cares to admit......

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Guest tiensshop

I think when parents think about relocating, they should first of all see into the interest and advantages of their children and their education not forgetting their family unity. Relocation should not be an issue which will bring division into the family.

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Guest guest22466
I think when parents think about relocating, they should first of all see into the interest and advantages of their children and their education not forgetting their family unity. Relocation should not be an issue which will bring division into the family.

 

In relocation cases where the child and primary carer has relocated back home ,it is seen to be in the better interests of the child by the courts. The remaining OP in many cases has the right to live back home in the UK to be with their child where extended families are there for both parents and children giving love and supprt to EVERYONE not just one parent.

 

Maybe try asking the primary carers who are now back in the UK with their children wether they would rather be back in Australia with NO visa to work, NO money, NO home - Unable to provide for their children and living in a womens shelter for abused women and children with no help and support from their own family and friends.

 

As a primary carer myself I would prefer to have a job, money and a roof over my childrens head and extended family and friends who love and support my child and myself.

 

As the ATO and CSA systems are not great here in Australia the $5 in CSA payments a week will not get your children much either........

 

I wish life was so black and white but it is not....many who apply to relocate do so as they are so DESPERATE to provide and look after their children and need the help and support of loving family and friends. Mental health issues can also arise for parents who have separted and do not have any family and friends to turn to for help and support too so that is an issue that has to be taken into account for the children too.

 

This is why people should know about these issues before migrating with children.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Aisling

I feel I am just reading this thread in tie.This is all new to me.I am moving to Oz next week with my aussie partner.We are not married I am going on a defacto visa but we are expecting our first baby.

 

I agreed to go to Oz as I know my partner wants to spend tie with his family. We said we would try it for 2 years and then decide if we want to return to the UK.

 

I am now worried that if I want to come back and he doesnt I will have a real problem taking the baby home?

 

Any advise would be appreciated.

 

This post has been very informative..Thanks everyone

 

Aisling

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I feel I am just reading this thread in tie.This is all new to me.I am moving to Oz next week with my aussie partner.We are not married I am going on a defacto visa but we are expecting our first baby.

 

I agreed to go to Oz as I know my partner wants to spend tie with his family. We said we would try it for 2 years and then decide if we want to return to the UK.

 

I am now worried that if I want to come back and he doesnt I will have a real problem taking the baby home?

 

Any advise would be appreciated.

 

This post has been very informative..Thanks everyone

 

Aisling

 

I am not sure what I can say to allay your fears - I would be worried too. It is a real problem for many (especially) women who find that they are trapped because they cannot return to their family support network with their kids because of a marriage breakup.

 

I dont know if getting a signed contract about what he agrees to do a) in the case of you not settling here and b) in the case of your relationship failing, in some way would stand up in a court of law - you might want to get some legal advice on that but that would be the only thing I could think of to protect yourself, other than not going in the first place.

 

You have sort of missed the boat as probably the better thing to have done would have been to have tried Aus before having a child but, hey, hindsight is perfect vision.

 

Good luck with your new bub and whatever other decision you choose to make

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Guest guest22466
I feel I am just reading this thread in tie.This is all new to me.I am moving to Oz next week with my aussie partner.We are not married I am going on a defacto visa but we are expecting our first baby.

 

I agreed to go to Oz as I know my partner wants to spend tie with his family. We said we would try it for 2 years and then decide if we want to return to the UK.

 

I am now worried that if I want to come back and he doesnt I will have a real problem taking the baby home?

 

Any advise would be appreciated.

 

This post has been very informative..Thanks everyone

 

Aisling

 

I would be worried too as I am one of the parents who was unable to return home just after 18mths here with my child even though we still had our house and both had families back in the Uk so just think very hard about it. I have now been here for 8 years with my son. Good luck xx

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Very true. So many scenario's. To be informed is better than to not know. Moving to the other side of the world is a huge decision. One that unfortunately, many of us dismiss the very thought of a breakdown in our choice of life partner.

 

Unfortunately it does happen, to the strongest of marriages. The stresses/new life/new jobs/new friends/affairs - no life/no job/no friends/no extended family/isolation, all can contribute to breakdowns in what initially was a fantastic idea.

 

This is why get it sorted before you come here.....both do up an agreement and sign it then just file it !!

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I don't understand the part that when you land in australia your children are automatically residents in australia. I am a british trained midwife, and moved here in 2002. When I deliver babies to british parents who are not permanant residence, even though those babies are born in australia they are not considered as residents, They are british nationals. So what makes it possible that if children move here they automatically are considered residents.

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Guest guest22466
I don't understand the part that when you land in australia your children are automatically residents in australia. I am a british trained midwife, and moved here in 2002. When I deliver babies to british parents who are not permanant residence, even though those babies are born in australia they are not considered as residents, They are british nationals. So what makes it possible that if children move here they automatically are considered residents.

 

 

The Hague Convention Law is the law that dictates this situation and the people who apply to come to live in Australia wether temp or perm. This applies wether you move from the UK to Australia, germany, spain, greece, USA all countries signed up to this law.

 

I know of a woman who was only here for 4 months on a temp visa with her partner and son due to bad domestic issues she needed to go back home to the UK with her son and the partner did not want to return- they are all british- she took her son home to the uk back to the house they still had there and due to the Hague Convention Laws was ordered to return her son back to Australia otherwise she would be charged for child abduction and could be put in prison. She returned to Australia with no money, no job, no home and living with her son in a shelter for battered women and food from the church to provide for her son on her own without family and friends...

 

Look up the Hauge Convention Laws it is there to protect both child and the parent too but has a huge impact on everyone and an expensive one too in $$$$$

 

It does seem crazy but it is the LAW.

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it's basically not about the children belonging to Austalia, it's about the fact that if you, as a couple go there with your children and one of you want to return back 'home' and one of you doesn't, you can't if the other half doesn't agree for you to take the child/children back home, as Pommyoz says, its about the 'Hague convention law', it's more about keeping families together/united, rather than what country they belong to.

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Guest Evangelina

This post is really good. Parents should talk about these issues before moving to a new country. I'd say that the best solution is that the family stays together. Because home is where your loved ones are. And children need their BOTH parents.

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Guest guest22466
This post is really good. Parents should talk about these issues before moving to a new country. I'd say that the best solution is that the family stays together. Because home is where your loved ones are. And children need their BOTH parents.

 

I agree with you and it would be great if the family could stay together but when circumstances change beyond your control sometimes this is very hard in another country on your own with children to care for. The question also is when you come to live in another country even for a few months is that country called HOME. Your right these issues should be talked about as I did with my (ex) husaband however it does not change the outcome as things SAID bewteen parents before you leave the UK CHANGE in time and in a small amount of time too and the Hauge Convention Law takes over. It is a post that brings a negative side to migration but an informative one truthful and honest one too. I would not wish this situation on any other parent or child hence these postings. Most people will not encounter this situation but knowledge is power.

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