whopperdaisy

There was a high profile story here in QLD of someone who returned here from Italy with her kids and the children were forcibly put on a plane to Italy (teenage children literally kicking and screaming to try and stay with their mum). If you stayed on holiday, and your ex made a complaint to police, the children would be repatriated from any country signatory to the Hague Convention. If you returned you would almost certainly face charges if the other parent pursued it. You also have to get permission for the holiday in the first place form the other parent, or else apply for permission through the courts if that is not forthcoming.

Yep, my TAFE couse is being finished so my study will not lead to the planned qualification. I'm still trying to figure out what comes next. A lot of contact orders now do not allow for full time 9-5 type work as you have to be in a certain place at a certain time to transition your child - during the working day. More encouragement to employers to offer flexible work practices (and part time jobs that are not just entry level or menial) would help. Judges recognising that parents may want to work a regular job may also help. I am fortunate to have a skill that can potentially lead to self employment, setting my own hours to some extent. When it comes to it, nobody thinks their relationship will be one of the statistics when things are going well but things change. The heartbreak of a failed relationship is a minor part of the story when you end up stranded and unable to visit your family. If you choose to migrate, at least be aware of that possibility.

How about a group for people who are self-employed or running their own business? There's a lot specific to those topics (although I can't claim to know many answers).

The original link has expired but another article about the story is here. The girls and their mother left Italy after what they (including the girls) describe as considerable abuse from the father. One of the girls described him breaking one of her thumbs in a rage. The girls say they are settled and happy in Australia and don't want to leave. There have been many court hearings and at on point a relative went on the run with the girls. The papers last reported that the father has given up and gone back to Italy although I suspect that is unlikely. They argue that he gave permission for them to come to Australia, he says only for a holiday. This has dragged on for quite some time and the girls' family has gone to extraordinary lengths to try to stay here. The girls had a court case claiming they should be afforded the right to be heard in court; they lost that case. Had they won, it could have had enormous ramifications for future legal hearings. I have mixed feelings about it in that it may add to pressure on children, not all of whom are equipped to express their feelings in a daunting situation. Children's feelings should be considered but the possibility of them being pressured and manipulated by one or both parents would be a problem. On the other hand I know only too well the heartbreak of having a child pleading with you not to send them to their other parent only to have to make them go, no matter how scared or unhappy they seem. There are probably plenty of sensible decisions made by courts that we don't hear about but I certainly know of many erratic, strange or downright scary orders made by judges here and some of those I have watched in action seem lacking much sanity (maybe that is what the job does to them?) - I have heard more than one lawyer describe family court as a crap shoot. I'd say it is worse than that. Before I harp on any more - I'll say that anyone with doubts about a relationship before coming here should think very carefully - going through court appearances over years without family support close by is very hard indeed. If you can work on things and get to a better place for a while before leaving, it may reap rewards in more ways than one. Simply moving here, while rewarding ultimately for some, is not easy and to do that on fragile foundations would have a lower chance of success. Stepping away from the pulpit now...

That was unforgettable, our queen is a great sport for taking part that way and I am especially impressed by all those doctors and nurses (almost all apparently actually work for the NHS). Its a long time since I shed so many tears and they were happy ones.

Hi Hazel, If you are on Facebook, try finding the group called The Brisbannittes (pretty sure they spelled it that way) - a big group of poms who get together every month or so, plus lots of smaller groups meeting up for coffee, girls night out etc. I am in a similar situation except I have a child as well, I find it quite isolating sometimes and between here and Brisbannittes, I have been rescued a few times from becoming a complete hermit. Feel free to PM if you like

How do they actually check someone has PR? That scares me.

I believe under freedom of information laws you should be able to get copies of any paperwork. People are entitled to read what is on file about them (and their children I think). Failing that, it is possible to apply for a child to be put on an airport stop list, however that can be very problematic. It would though mean that he would not be able to leave the country without your husband's permission.

Pintpot, I think you're absolutely right on the legality of any agreement and certainly wouldn't say it safeguards anything. That said, it is probably not a wasted exercise if it prompts parents to at least consider the potential repercussions of a move. Marriage breakdowns are of course not so easy to predict but if a relationship feels rocky, it would be prudent to think very carefully about moving away from support networks. Some of the hard facts about what happens... aside from being stuck somewhere you may not wish to live til your children are adults... if, say, a family member in the UK is hospitalised, you can't rush to their side. You can't just take a holiday to visit loved ones unless your ex agrees to it. If your parents are elderly and unable to travel here, you can't just go and visit (unless you're OK with leaving your kids behind). You might not see them again. You need to consider before moving (whether to Australia or the UK) if you can accept these things. For some people the move can work out great, for some terrible - better to at least be prompted to consider the risks. My mum won't be able to make the journey here again. I haven't broken that news to my child yet but had to wipe little one's tears this week because Grandma is missed so much. I hate that I put my child in this situation. So, forgive me if I am whining a bit here - sometimes venting helps me put back on my happy Mummy face before doing the kindy run. I wouldn't say to people not to move so much as to just be very aware of what they are taking on and avoid some of the shocks.

Grr, internet went off when I tried to post and I lost what I wrote... anyway, SBS TV are looking for people to interview who left Australia with their children without the permission of the other parent. The info I have (I am not connected with SBS at all): If you can't watch the show when broadcast, I think SBS put a lot of their shows online. Maybe interesting viewing for anyone with children.

Mmm, I'm partial to a good sausage and it has been a while.