I miss Australia so much!

[tgirlsmammy]

My partner and I moved to Melbourne initially on WHV in 2011 then went into 457s. Unfortunately my partner was made redundant due to his employer going into liquidation in 2016 and then there was a whole load of stress waiting for his new employer to take over the sponsorship (they were trying to get him to work before he had been transferred over to them). This coupled with feeling a little homesick and also thinking about starting a family pushed us to just return home to Ireland at xmas time on a return flight we had already booked for a holiday. We sold every thing within 2 weeks and probably made about 10 trips to the recycling plant! We paid for business upgrades for one half of the flight and got upgraded for both legs as it was Christmas day. Every thing was going great and this was the world telling us we made the right decision.

 

Just over a year later now, we have a beautiful baby girl, are still living with my partner's father, I am on mat leave with no benefits(not enough stamps built up), I am dreading returning to work and leaving my daughter, my partner has been working in a closely related profession which he hates and has just been let go due to the company isnt soing so well and he was last in, so first out. The future looks grim here. We are stuck in a rural village with no prospects, we cant afford to rent anywhere closer to a city for work, my job is actually based here in the village and has a decent salary though with the housing shortage here and ridiculous rents, when I do go back my wage would just cover full-time childcare and half the rent so what's the point??

 

Over the last few months we have been thinking about returning to Melbourne and have now decided its definitely worth a try. We will try for the 189/190 visa. I am so anxious that my partner wont pass the skills assessment for whatever reason or that something else will go wrong. I spend my day caring for my newborn and wishibg I was in Australia again. Leaving family will be tough, and rougher for my partner than me, but they are all adults and we shouldnt be living our lives just to please them. We have our family to take care if. We have a strong support network in Melbourne with friends and colleagues. Everyone we know there is so caring and generous. Why did we only realise this once we came home?

 

I guess I am just wondering if Anyone else has been in a similar predicament? Has anyone returned home to them realise Australia IS home, and then returned there?

[Gbye grey sky]

My main comment in response is that life can at times be a struggle especially when you have very young children.  My wife went back to work when our daughter was a baby and her wage did little more than cover the childcare cost at first so we both suffered guilt and anxiety over that.

But through hard work and some luck most of us get through these periods wherever we happen to be and the tougher times make us stronger and grateful when we look back.  This may be cold comfort to you right now but I can almost guarantee that one day you will be looking back and regaling your kids with how tough it was for you all when they were little.

[Parley]

1 hour ago, tgirlsmammy said:

I guess I am just wondering if Anyone else has been in a similar predicament? Has anyone returned home to them realise Australia IS home, and then returned there?

Yes. 

We read threads all the time on pio about people who went back to the UK because they missed family and then after a year or so realise it was a huge mistake and are desperate to come back.

You certainly are not alone, not that it makes it much easier knowing that.

[tea4too]

I think life tends to go in cycles -  tough times, good times, routine/ sometimes boring times, and times when you look back or forward... and wonder. But nothing is forever. You have experienced a lot in a relatively short space of time, so it is not really surprising if life feels a bit out of kilter right now.  Maybe Aus will provide you with what you need as a family or maybe you just need to take some time to let life settle down a little, take stock and plan rather than react? The need to find security, a place to call home and a degree of confidence in the future is natural, particularly when you have a family of your own. Whether you need to start again in Aus to achieve all of that is something only you and your partner can decide. But maybe try to take your time to work it through. Looking after a newborn can be tough, but they are not newborn for long.  T. x

[Bulya]

They’d only get me there in a pine box, and even then I’d fight!

[Marisawright]

The big problem for you will be affordability.   We sold our townhouse in Sydney and moved to the UK in 2016.  I didn't settle so we came back to Australia in 2017.   We came back to Melbourne instead of Sydney because it has always been more affordable - but I hadn't been paying attention to house prices.  To our horror, we've found that prices have soared while we've been out of the market.    The money we got from our townhouse  won't buy anything like it in Melbourne.  Of course, rents have sky-rocketed too.

I fear that if you can't afford the rental closer to a big city in the UK, you won't be able to afford the rent in Melbourne either.   I don't know any young families where the wife can afford to stay at home here, so it won't make any difference to having to leave your daughter - and in fact, it could be worse.  You lived in Melbourne long enough to know that if you're forced to the far outer suburbs to find an affordable rental, you'll have a very long commute, and that means leaving her for far longer.  

Your husband might get a better job, or he might not.  Unemployment in Australia is now about the same as in the UK.  

Sounds like you need to have a long talk with your friends in Melbourne to understand what the rental costs are like close to them.  Remember that the photos on domain.com.au and realestate.com.au often lie!  

https://www.domain.com.au/news/melbourne-renting-rent-at-record-highs-rising-faster-than-incomes-and-vacant-20170209-gu7wpm/

[Booma]

9 hours ago, tgirlsmammy said:

I guess I am just wondering if Anyone else has been in a similar predicament? Has anyone returned home to them realise Australia IS home, and then returned there?

I were in a similar spot but I didnt have children at the time. we were back in uk around 3 months when I realised it were a terrible mistake. it were lovely seeing family & friends but just didnt feel like home anymore & didnt offer the type of lifestyle we wanted & enjoyed in oz. my husband is ozzie & even though he hates living in uk he said we had to stay at least 2 years. he was worried I would change my mind again if we came back to oz to soon because I were the one who wanted to go to uk. we didnt have money to do it right away anyway. we saved up & moved back to oz after 2 years were up & Im so happy & settled now. we even started a family now ? I feel very lucky because we know other people that moved back to uk without oz citizenship & now they cant get visa to move back to oz & they are stuck with lots of regrets. maybe first thing for you to do is find out if you can even get a visa to come back. no point thinkink about it if you cant even get a visa. hope it works out for you.

[bristolman]

11 hours ago, tgirlsmammy said:

 

My partner and I moved to Melbourne initially on WHV in 2011 then went into 457s. Unfortunately my partner was made redundant due to his employer going into liquidation in 2016 and then there was a whole load of stress waiting for his new employer to take over the sponsorship (they were trying to get him to work before he had been transferred over to them). This coupled with feeling a little homesick and also thinking about starting a family pushed us to just return home to Ireland at xmas time on a return flight we had already booked for a holiday. We sold every thing within 2 weeks and probably made about 10 trips to the recycling plant! We paid for business upgrades for one half of the flight and got upgraded for both legs as it was Christmas day. Every thing was going great and this was the world telling us we made the right decision.

 

Just over a year later now, we have a beautiful baby girl, are still living with my partner's father, I am on mat leave with no benefits(not enough stamps built up), I am dreading returning to work and leaving my daughter, my partner has been working in a closely related profession which he hates and has just been let go due to the company isnt soing so well and he was last in, so first out. The future looks grim here. We are stuck in a rural village with no prospects, we cant afford to rent anywhere closer to a city for work, my job is actually based here in the village and has a decent salary though with the housing shortage here and ridiculous rents, when I do go back my wage would just cover full-time childcare and half the rent so what's the point??

 

Over the last few months we have been thinking about returning to Melbourne and have now decided its definitely worth a try. We will try for the 189/190 visa. I am so anxious that my partner wont pass the skills assessment for whatever reason or that something else will go wrong. I spend my day caring for my newborn and wishibg I was in Australia again. Leaving family will be tough, and rougher for my partner than me, but they are all adults and we shouldnt be living our lives just to please them. We have our family to take care if. We have a strong support network in Melbourne with friends and colleagues. Everyone we know there is so caring and generous. Why did we only realise this once we came home?

 

I guess I am just wondering if Anyone else has been in a similar predicament? Has anyone returned home to them realise Australia IS home, and then returned there?

As has been said I do worry that you are finding rents high but talk of returning to Melbourne where housing costs are through the roof and amongst the highest in the world. Also as has been said you may well find yourself in exactly the same situation as far as childcare costs where you are working to pay for it and not much else. 

Many years ago I was in a similar situation, I grew up in Australia and finished my schooling in England but all I thought about was getting back to Australia. Now we are totally settled in England and none of us can imagine going back. My point is that it is not a one size fits all, Australia suits some and the UK suits others. 

Reading your comment it appears that much of this is due to you recently having a baby but wherever you your days will still be spent looking after your baby.

Having said this if your future looks grim and you have looked right into it the move then it may well be the right thing for you, I just suggest that you don't let it be a knee jerk reaction to you current situation. I'm glad others are giving you honest advice as well. 

[tgirlsmammy]

Thanks guys I appreciate your advice. Its a definite that we are going to for the PR, we have made up our minds. We are aware the rent prices have increased but in the area we were before it's affordable still. I would return to work there once established and childcare is found. There is a rebate as far as I am aware in Australia so with a reasonably priced care it would be ok to cover. I have the option of going back to an old employer/friend of mine where I was on a 3 figure package including car. My partner would be hoping to eventually get a set out position for a shopfitting company which could pay in the region of $75k+. I'm not worried about rent or a mortgage thete as we are ok not living so close to the city. Its not the same hete at all living away from the city. The commute is the same distance/time but the areas are sh1t. Nothing to do unless you drive to the city. Crap weather where it's too cold or wet to do anything fun. I'm not sure about rent in the UK but here in Ireland you could be looking at rent of €1500+ a month on a combined salary of about €75k... That with full-time childcare with no subsidy at all makes it really unaffordable and thats if you can find somewhere to rent. There is a total house shortage here.

I guess my main question was has anyone done the same as we are planning and did it go as expected?

[bristolman]

9 minutes ago, tgirlsmammy said:

Thanks guys I appreciate your advice. Its a definite that we are going to for the PR, we have made up our minds. We are aware the rent prices have increased but in the area we were before it's affordable still. I would return to work there once established and childcare is found. There is a rebate as far as I am aware in Australia so with a reasonably priced care it would be ok to cover. I have the option of going back to an old employer/friend of mine where I was on a 3 figure package including car. My partner would be hoping to eventually get a set out position for a shopfitting company which could pay in the region of $75k+. I'm not worried about rent or a mortgage thete as we are ok not living so close to the city. Its not the same hete at all living away from the city. The commute is the same distance/time but the areas are sh1t. Nothing to do unless you drive to the city. Crap weather where it's too cold or wet to do anything fun. I'm not sure about rent in the UK but here in Ireland you could be looking at rent of €1500+ a month on a combined salary of about €75k... That with full-time childcare with no subsidy at all makes it really unaffordable and thats if you can find somewhere to rent. There is a total house shortage here.

I guess my main question was has anyone done the same as we are planning and did it go as expected?

Yeah to be fair Ireland isn't known for its weather lol.

The thing is it doesn't matter if other did the same as it won't be applicable for your situation. Put it this way we returned to the UK and it has worked out perfectly so the experiences of others aren't relevant. It is what YOU want that is important. 

[Booma]

11 hours ago, tgirlsmammy said:

I guess my main question was has anyone done the same as we are planning and did it go as expected?

short answer then is yes we did it & it was better than i expected. 

[tgirlsmammy]

I'm just interested in other's stories...

[Sandgroper]

On 2/28/2018 at 21:26, tgirlsmammy said:

Thanks guys I appreciate your advice. Its a definite that we are going to for the PR, we have made up our minds. We are aware the rent prices have increased but in the area we were before it's affordable still. I would return to work there once established and childcare is found. There is a rebate as far as I am aware in Australia so with a reasonably priced care it would be ok to cover. I have the option of going back to an old employer/friend of mine where I was on a 3 figure package including car. My partner would be hoping to eventually get a set out position for a shopfitting company which could pay in the region of $75k+. I'm not worried about rent or a mortgage thete as we are ok not living so close to the city. Its not the same hete at all living away from the city. The commute is the same distance/time but the areas are sh1t. Nothing to do unless you drive to the city. Crap weather where it's too cold or wet to do anything fun. I'm not sure about rent in the UK but here in Ireland you could be looking at rent of €1500+ a month on a combined salary of about €75k... That with full-time childcare with no subsidy at all makes it really unaffordable and thats if you can find somewhere to rent. There is a total house shortage here.

I guess my main question was has anyone done the same as we are planning and did it go as expected?

Sounds like a good plan just be realistic and don't rush things just to get back, having young children is hard work where ever you are we find childcare costs cheaper here to back in the UK as long as you are both working you will get a 50% rebate on childcare no such help in the UK don't know about Ireland.

You'll always have commutes to deal with I have an hour each way for work doesn't bother me and it beats the 2 hr each way I had in the UK much better in sunnies with the windows down beats wipers on full speed on a grid locked motorway. Fully understand the weather getting you down we found it restrictive of what we wanted to do in the UK as you do in Ireland, having decent weather certainly makes a huge difference to us as it does for many others.

Good luck with it all.

 

[Goofy2018]

I moved back and forth several times before deciding to stay in Australia (as a single person). Ultimately no place is ever perfect but my quality of life here is better. In my opinion once you move away from home something changes in you and even if you return home later it will never feel the same again.  

[tgirlsmammy]

Totally agree Goofy. If I hadnt travelled i might have been content with my life here. Its not that bad, its just I know what else the world has to offer and I reckon Australia is where I am suited best. My partner on the other hand is a bit of a home bird but even he admits he is excited at the prospect of going back.

[ali]

52 minutes ago, tgirlsmammy said:

Totally agree Goofy. If I hadnt travelled i might have been content with my life here. Its not that bad, its just I know what else the world has to offer and I reckon Australia is where I am suited best. My partner on the other hand is a bit of a home bird but even he admits he is excited at the prospect of going back.

Tell him "happy wife .. happy life" lol.

Seriously, though if you're both up for it then give it a go - nothing has to be forever.

[Bulya]

Can’t imagine not living in Australia.  Certainly better than existing in Britain 

[Goofy2018]

On 03/03/2018 at 07:53, tgirlsmammy said:

Totally agree Goofy. If I hadnt travelled i might have been content with my life here. Its not that bad, its just I know what else the world has to offer and I reckon Australia is where I am suited best. My partner on the other hand is a bit of a home bird but even he admits he is excited at the prospect of going back.

Exactly...I don't think it's a choice between a good life vs a bad life. It's just a choice that will take you down a different road in life. People who stay put tend usually end up quite set in their ways and don't handle change well. Travelling broadens the mind; you deal with a lot more uncertainty and a lot more change, you become more flexible, more appreciative of your home country, get to live in and explore different places, meet lots of new people etc. It just doesn't compare in my opinion. 

Going home can be great but it's hard to be happy again with 'same old'. 

 

[Marisawright]

22 hours ago, Bulya said:

Can’t imagine not living in Australia.  Certainly better than existing in Britain 

As we were commenting on another thread, that's the kind of unhelpful generalisation that doesn't help anybody.    There are good and bad places in Australia, just the same as there are good and bad places in Britain.

Case in point - you love living where you are now.  But I've seen you make negative comments about other parts of Australia, so you clearly don't think it's all better than the UK. I prefer living in Australia, too, but if someone told me I had a choice - either go and live in the Northern Territory or go back to the UK - I'd go back to the UK.  

Edited March 4, 2018 by Marisawright

[Bulya]

8 minutes ago, Marisawright said:

As we were commenting on another thread, that's the kind of unhelpful generalisation that doesn't help anybody.    There are good and bad places in Australia, just the same as there are good and bad places in Britain.

Case in point - you love living where you are now.  But I've seen you make negative comments about other parts of Australia, so you clearly don't think it's all better than the UK. 

Also, of course, you need to allow for personal preference.  I've seen you comment on the weather and it seems you're happiest when the temp is in the high twenties.  My idea of hell.

Any part of Australia is better than the UK

[Marisawright]

2 minutes ago, Bulya said:

Any part of Australia is better than the UK

Why?  Which parts of Australia have you lived in?  And which parts of the UK have you lived in, and how long ago?  Just curious.

[Goofy2018]

5 minutes ago, Bulya said:

Any part of Australia is better than the UK

That's great for you but not everyone would agree. Like Marisawright has already said, this type of statement is not helpful for anyone. It's a lot more valuable to people to give them nuanced comments when they're asking for advice.

[Bulya]

23 minutes ago, Marisawright said:

Why?  Which parts of Australia have you lived in?  And which parts of the UK have you lived in, and how long ago?  Just curious.

Every part except Tasmania and NT

[Bulya]

56 minutes ago, Goofy2018 said:

That's great for you but not everyone would agree. Like Marisawright has already said, this type of statement is not helpful for anyone. It's a lot more valuable to people to give them nuanced comments when they're asking for advice.

My opinion after 50 years

[Toots]

15 minutes ago, Bulya said:

My opinion after 50 years

Quite right.  It is your opinion and it's great you are so content.   Britain does have some lovely places though.  Not enough to make me want to move back but it is mostly a great place.