Left Australia to go back to the UK.. was it the right decision?

[Cor]

Hey everyone, was just looking for some advise.

 

I left Australia a few days ago and was on a working holiday visa. Before this I had been backpacking south east Asia. I arrived in Perth and straight away got a job. After a few weeks I started to feel constantly down about missing home. I missed family, friends and just the way of life. I made a few friends in Oz but none that had the same crack as back home, really struggled to find people with the same sort of British humour.

 

there was just a longing to be at home with people that I had so much fun around. I felt like Australia was be place to be back home, I mean everyone raves about it but it just wasn't settling with me. I think the fact as well that it is so far away from home gave me anxiety that I couldn't just visit home and go back out.

 

I dont know if anyone anyone else feels the same but I found Australia quite boring, the places to drink not the same atmosphere and very strict on drinking, made me miss our laid back ways in that sense.

 

Now im back however, reality has struck.. I need to find a job and get a car. Where I live I need a car to get around really, but do I want to purchase a car and then think oh I actually should have pushed myself to travelling further out there, and maybe I would have liked it better but then be stuck with a car. I could however temp in London without the need of a car but again I just don't know if I should go back out and try again.

 

I also feel that some people at home do not completely get it. I was away for months and for people that haven't lived abroad or travelled don't seem to understand the pull between the two and whether you are making the correct decision being home? Everyone is like but why would you like to go back out?! The money is good, the weather better and I feel a lot to explore and see. Also i feel it's good to live away and gain that independence. There could also be friends to be made with better humour (maybe I wasn't seeing that then )

 

Now being at home, and seeing it again would I have a different mindset going back or would I miss everything and want to go home? I can't keep flitting between the two as I need to figure out what I want and as you are all aware flying back and fourth isn't exactly cheap!

 

Any advise would be great. Thanks

[Nemesis]

Hey everyone, was just looking for some advise.

 

I left Australia a few days ago and was on a working holiday visa. Before this I had been backpacking south east Asia. I arrived in Perth and straight away got a job. After a few weeks I started to feel constantly down about missing home. I missed family, friends and just the way of life. I made a few friends in Oz but none that had the same crack as back home, really struggled to find people with the same sort of British humour.

 

there was just a longing to be at home with people that I had so much fun around. I felt like Australia was be place to be back home, I mean everyone raves about it but it just wasn't settling with me. I think the fact as well that it is so far away from home gave me anxiety that I couldn't just visit home and go back out.

 

I dont know if anyone anyone else feels the same but I found Australia quite boring, the places to drink not the same atmosphere and very strict on drinking, made me miss our laid back ways in that sense.

 

Now im back however, reality has struck.. I need to find a job and get a car. Where I live I need a car to get around really, but do I want to purchase a car and then think oh I actually should have pushed myself to travelling further out there, and maybe I would have liked it better but then be stuck with a car. I could however temp in London without the need of a car but again I just don't know if I should go back out and try again.

 

I also feel that some people at home do not completely get it. I was away for months and for people that haven't lived abroad or travelled don't seem to understand the pull between the two and whether you are making the correct decision being home? Everyone is like but why would you like to go back out?! The money is good, the weather better and I feel a lot to explore and see. Also i feel it's good to live away and gain that independence. There could also be friends to be made with better humour (maybe I wasn't seeing that then )

 

Now being at home, and seeing it again would I have a different mindset going back or would I miss everything and want to go home? I can't keep flitting between the two as I need to figure out what I want and as you are all aware flying back and fourth isn't exactly cheap!

 

Any advise would be great. Thanks

 

You only have a WHV,its not like you are mgratng permanently,its just a holiday with maybe some work thrown in-Treat it as such and enjoy the time in Oz while you can. Do you have any idea how many people go home after a month or two on a WHV then appear on forums years later saying can they get another one and they wish they hadn't wasted the chance while they had it.

[Quoll]

That was a holiday, this is reality and no matter where you live your reality it will be the same bog standard humdrum. Just plan for the future - what do you want to do with your life? There's more of the world to see than Australia (it's not magical by the way and you may well have felt the same about it even if you had ventured further) and if you play your cards right you can get set up and see many and more varied places on the longer holidays that you would get than if you were in Australia. Don't go through life looking backwards, that way you tend to fall over and bruise yourself.

[Guest]

I'm reading this that you have already returned to the UK, is that right?

 

If the only place you went in Australia is Perth then you really didn't give it a chance, there are many on here that would agree with your assessment of Perth but judging the whole country by Perth is like someone coming to the UK, going to an island in the Highlands and then saying the UK has no nightlife!

 

I'm guessing you are rather young given you were on a WHV and to be honest it sounds more like a general 'what should I do with my life crisis' than anything to do with Australia specifically.

 

Should you go back? It depends on how much of the visa is left, if it's a good bit then I'd say 'yes' - you won't get this opportunity again. Have a think about what you are going to do - what about au-pairing? Or working in a rural environment - I'm sure @Quokka2005 would share her country pub experiences (good & bad!) Or just try the East coast? All of those would be very different to working in Perth.

 

It sounds like you had a bit of culture shock and that is normal, lots of people think Australia will be like the UK in the sun but it's quite different - people are different, places are different and it seems people find it more unnerving than in Asia etc. because they expect it to be the same. How did you find Asia? Were the pubs as good as England? The humour the same? I'm guessing not.

 

It's a fabulous learning experience - when you have only lived in one place you think of that as 'normal', of course the otherside is when you go back you see things differently to other people so it's a blessing and a curse. You've changed and the people you left behind haven't so much. It's well documented as the traveller's curse - have a google but here's somewhere to start https://nomadasaurus.com/the-7-curses-of-long-term-travel/

 

Is it worth temping in London for a couple of months and getting some more money so you can travel more and work less when you are there?

[Quokka2005]

Hey,

 

If youve got quite a lot of time left and the money then i would go back out and have another go. I think if you tried another place you might feel differently. Ive been back a few months now. If you're looking for laid back drinking etc then country pub might be a good option. Its quite easy to get a job doing that and people tend to be friendlier than in cities. You dont usually need experience either, i didnt have any.

 

I think its normal to feel homesick now and again even if its only for a year. I struggled with my first week, not so much homesick but i just felt i didn't fit in with most other backpackers. I felt like that on and off throughout the 10 months.

 

If you do go back then just try go with the flow and remember your friends and family will be there when you come back. And theres loads of other countries to visit if you dont want to go back to australia, although you cant judge australia on just perth. Its definitely more laid back to the east coast etc

[Perthbum]

what are your skills, how could you go back?

[flag of convenience]

The art to travel is to avoid similarity to home, surely? To get out and experience. I was going to suggest Perth was too much akin to home, but as you appear to be from London, that is hardly the case.

 

Although OZ is expensive. You will need to work. Perhaps that routine is of little interest? The days of travelling OZ for months on end, are long gone, due to the enormous expense. Hence anymore than a visit, you'll need to work.

 

Family and friends will be there on return. I'm not even sure if some over do that when away, due to own inability to be out of comfort zone.

Remember though, while some thrive in 'foreignness'' around them others don't feel comfortable. Although London isn't bad training being a world city.

 

If you don't want to be lumbered with the need to work you could go to India for example, and easily pas several months 'doing that' on the cheap and collecting a life time of experiences. I suspect you need to return Down Under and get that out of your system though.

 

Perth is a bit dull. You'll need to get out and head north at the very least. Make the most of any opportunity that avails itself to travel. Life is short, enjoy.

[Bungo]

Yes it was the right decision that suited you at the time. Stop beating yourself up about it. Sounds like you have a great life so just enjoy it.

[Guest]

You were on holiday, travelling, its not really a permanent move or anything to over complicate. If you view it like a permanent move then you are probably going to struggle with travelling and returning. It was an experience, a holiday, you travelled and you return home, hopefully having had a great time with lots of good memories. And if you then want to make a permanent move you set about it if you are able.

 

As has been said, if you were in Perth then you really didn't see Aus and cannot compare Perth with other cities or parts of the country. Its so vast and different, depending on where you go. And you cannot compare it to the UK as it is not the UK with sun, far from it. Pubs like the UK has don't really exist en masse outside of the UK, people seem to forget that. Each culture, country will have its local style of watering spots and they will not be like your typical traditional English pub (although those are few and far between now these days too). People of other countries are not going to be like you are used to either, remember that. Culture, history, humour, it may well be different from what you are used to or comfortable being round or find fun. Embrace the experience and make the most of it or don't.

 

You sound to me like many backpackers before you. Landed back at home and reality of day to day life back there hits you and you don't know if being there is the right thing or not. You've been gone months and have seen lots and not really had the normal 9-5 day to day life for a while and if you did have it in Aus, it was in Aus.

 

If you have lots of time left on your WHV and want to gain the second year to stay on and see and do more in Aus, then go back and work for it, get the second year and go explore Aus and really see it properly. If you don't have much time (ie not enough time to get in your 3 months regional work) or less than that, I'd probably not bother. I'd save and plan for going somewhere else like NZ.

Edited November 25, 2016 by Guest
typo

[starlight7]

One thing I would say is that when you go back to the UK no one is interested in your life in Australia beyond, if you are very lucky, politely acknowledging it. They are just too busy with themselves to care. And really, why should they?

[flag of convenience]

Yes the above tends to be very true. How many have I come across that have been to al these weird and wonderful places, yet few if any interested when they get home?

 

Being a keen traveller, more to the point, actually interested where others have been and opinions formed, it's something I have heard for a very long time. Experienced it myself when young. A reason not a few took off back on the road again.

 

I suppose a little different these days with blogs and so forth hence more are in the loop, like it or loathe it, hence perhaps the narcissistic cravings are far easer dispensed with than in days gone?

[Intransit8]

Hi Cor

Life is for living and it's short. I was a backpacker in the 80's. I made a life here but I never settled. There are various things on offer for you here to enjoy if you want but the most important people in your life are family and friends. I have ping ponged many times and I am going back overseas but I have had wonderful times and experiences here and I would consider myself australianised but I want to go back to my roots. You have to follow your heart. All the best for your future.

[flag of convenience]

Quite something few imagine I guess, when young, the desire of many to return to roots with age. I've come across this more so in more recent years, perhaps because speak with more older people or actually listen more to what they say. It doesn't seem to infer in many instances a dislike of adopted home, just a yearning for something perhaps long dormant, that surfaced with the advance of time.

 

Even more so with those whose mother tongue was not English. I can imagine it being more comforting being able to speak in one's mother tongue than adapted tongue with the age. No matter how well speak the adopted lingo.

[JockinTas]

Quite something few imagine I guess, when young, the desire of many to return to roots with age. I've come across this more so in more recent years, perhaps because speak with more older people or actually listen more to what they say. It doesn't seem to infer in many instances a dislike of adopted home, just a yearning for something perhaps long dormant, that surfaced with the advance of time.

 

Even more so with those whose mother tongue was not English. I can imagine it being more comforting being able to speak in one's mother tongue than adapted tongue with the age. No matter how well speak the adopted lingo.

 

I know a lady here who was widowed 3 years ago. She and her husband emigrated to Tasmania many years ago from Italy. She has gone back to Italy for the past 3 years for 6 months of the year. Caught up with her yesterday as she had just arrived back in town. She had a lovely time of it - did a fair bit of travelling around too and of course revelled in speaking her mother tongue. All her sons, daughters and grandchildren are here so she would not go back to live permanently in Italy.

[Home and Happy]

Quite something few imagine I guess, when young, the desire of many to return to roots with age.

 

Yes age, totally agree. I think UK is far better for us older ones in so many ways.

[ramot]

In our recent U3A discussion group, the question of returning to your roots was the topic.

Over 20 in the group, with the majority 'new Australians' not born here.

Hardly anyone had this desire to return to their roots. obviously not a a serious survey, but it was interesting.

 

I happen to much prefer living my old age in Oz, it's just where I am happy and want to be, and when I compare with similar age friends in UK we are all enjoying our retirement irrespective of country in our own ways. No where is necessarily better, it's each to their own.

[flag of convenience]

Yes age, totally agree. I think UK is far better for us older ones in so many ways.

 

I have long thought Australia not a great place with the age. I suspect UK is better. Germany certainly is and found France and The Netherlands not too bad as well. I believe age poverty impacts on one in three in Australia from figures I recall recently. I read a Grey Nomad forum at times that complains a lot about the high costs of camping in Australia as well.

 

The majority not having sufficient superannuation of course and rely on the pension.

[flag of convenience]

In our recent U3A discussion group, the question of returning to your roots was the topic.

Over 20 in the group, with the majority 'new Australians' not born here.

Hardly anyone had this desire to return to their roots. obviously not a a serious survey, but it was interesting.

 

I happen to much prefer living my old age in Oz, it's just where I am happy and want to be, and when I compare with similar age friends in UK we are all enjoying our retirement irrespective of country in our own ways. No where is necessarily better, it's each to their own.

 

I believe you wrote that your kids have relocated out here. Together with a private pension I can see probably there is less onus to return to UK.

[flag of convenience]

I know a lady here who was widowed 3 years ago. She and her husband emigrated to Tasmania many years ago from Italy. She has gone back to Italy for the past 3 years for 6 months of the year. Caught up with her yesterday as she had just arrived back in town. She had a lovely time of it - did a fair bit of travelling around too and of course revelled in speaking her mother tongue. All her sons, daughters and grandchildren are here so she would not go back to live permanently in Italy.

 

Of course with the family here. I 've come across some I suppose similar. They frankly admit they missed the boat. He was not well. The cost of living permanently would prove prohibitive but the main factor is that after a certain age it all becomes too hard, I think is more what the meaning behind the words are.

[ramot]

I believe you wrote that your kids have relocated out here. Together with a private pension I can see probably there is less onus to return to UK.

 

In case you think you know all about me!

I still have son and only 2 grandchildren in UK! so that could be a real reason to be in UK rather than Oz.

Not sure what on earth a private pension has to do with anything? as if we were in UK we would not be subject to the fluctuations in the exchange rate and our state pension would not be frozen!!! So perhaps we would be better off financially and emotionally in UK!

 

what makes you think you have the right to make posts personal, when mine are of a general nature, just saying we prefer living in Oz.

 

Hope I have answered your concerns about my personal and financial life.

Edited December 7, 2016 by ramot

[JockinTas]

In our recent U3A discussion group, the question of returning to your roots was the topic.

Over 20 in the group, with the majority 'new Australians' not born here.

Hardly anyone had this desire to return to their roots. obviously not a a serious survey, but it was interesting.

 

I happen to much prefer living my old age in Oz, it's just where I am happy and want to be, and when I compare with similar age friends in UK we are all enjoying our retirement irrespective of country in our own ways. No where is necessarily better, it's each to their own.

 

I effectively left the UK when I was 20 and lived in different countries before coming to Australia when I was 30. Did live in the north of England/London with my Australian husband for a time and we were happy there but now this is my home. I also am happy here and I wouldn't go back to live permanently in the UK. I do understand that a lot of people have that urge to return but I just don't have it. Go or stay ................ wherever you will be happiest.

[Johndoe]

The majority not having sufficient superannuation of course and rely on the pension.

 

If that's the case, for a pensioner on basic pension in either country, in the same situation with no superann, then Australian pensioners do fare much better IMHO. The basic Australian pension is nearly double that of the UK. I've looked at both countries from many angles .........rent allowances, Rego/rate/travel and power subsidies etc Tax allowances on part time work here and earnings from other incomes, with a view to returning and I would never survive in the UK. I'm not exactly flushed here, but I eat well and pay my bills on just the basic Gov't pension

[flag of convenience]

In case you think you know all about me!

I still have son and only 2 grandchildren in UK! so that could be a real reason to be in UK rather than Oz.

Not sure what on earth a private pension has to do with anything? as if we were in UK we would not be subject to the fluctuations in the exchange rate and our state pension would not be frozen!!! So perhaps we would be better off financially and emotionally in UK!

 

what makes you think you have the right to make posts personal, when mine are of a general nature, just saying we prefer living in Oz.

 

Hope I have answered your concerns about my personal and financial life.

 

Hardly personal when you put it about over the forum. Of course I'm aware you still have some connections with UK. Don't recall to what extent. Yes a private pension certainly assists greatly to improve quality of life. You have some issue with me mentioning that?? One in three Aussies don't fare so well, as in those relying in aged pension. I only repeat what you tell us obviously as have no interest what so ever in your private so of affairs.

[VinnieVanSurfer]

Yes you probably left too soon and should have seen more of Australia. Never been to WA but seen a lot of Victoria, some of NSW and some of QLD and everywhere you go there is something different. Should have came here before we started a family to see more places and experience more things, we still do a lot with kids but it obviously different. When I compare our lives to what it would be like in the UK its always difficult as they offer very different things, childhood friends and family are irreplaceable but you can make new ones, on a WHV you probably wont have time to make life long friends but you don't need to. We have lived here for nearly 9 years and still have days that we think about returning but we have more days where we realize that we have everything we need here and that we are never leaving. But you are right that people who have never lived away from the UK don't understand the pull between two places but why would they, they think its a dream life from the photos they see on Facebook, I still think it is, but what they don't see is that it takes a lot of hard work to do it, in our case my wife and me both work 40 hours a week with three children under 10 with no support from family. If you can get yourself back over and enjoy what the rest of the country has to offer while you can.

[Kanga]

Probably the best thing to do is to temp in London for a while, gather some cash, and then come back to Australia for a longer period with a view to seeing more of the country and meeting people in every State. You sound as if you are young, so travelling around Sydney/Melbourne might give you more of what you seem to be looking for. It's always difficult knowing what to do, there are plenty of ping pong Poms here, including myself, but I have now lived most of my life here in Australia and wouldn't change anything. The British sense of humour is difficult to find anywhere outside of the UK - I think you have to be bought up there to understand most of it!!!

 

Good luck and happy travels.