Bobths Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 So....we've been in Melbourne for 5 years, got citizenship, had two little Aussies, bought a house and Australia has generally been fantastic for us. However, hubby has always been homesick to one degree or another (we're both Brits) and we always agreed that once we had citizenship and if the right circumstances arose we would possibly return to England for a few years so our respective parents and families can spend time with our girls and hubby can get his fix of football and a proper pint. Hubby is now working for a company that has offices in London and they have said they're happy for him to transfer over there for an period. I just don't know how I feel about it all. His family and the majority of our friends are all in and around Manchester (my parents live in France and my bro lives in NZ) but obviously his job would be in London so living up there is not an option. His sister lives in Cambridge so moving near her would be nice (especially as she's due to have a baby this August) but hubby only Skypes his parents/sister once a month if that (mostly their issue, he would like to speak to them more but it never happens) and is rubbish at organising get togethers. I'd have to give up my job here, which whilst I don't love my job, it pays really well and I can go back part-time after my mat leave ends. To give some perspective, if I stay PT in my current job, we could pay off our mortgage in 10 years. He really wants to reconnect with his best mate, who's had twins since we left the UK, but going off how that went on our last trip back (his best mate's wife let his best mate stay out for oooh, two hours?) I doubt he's going to be going on boys nights very regularly. I would love to see my old friends again, but they're scattered all over the UK and I don't know how much I'd see them. Just hopping over the Channel to see my parents does appeal a lot, and my parents would love to see they granddaughters (although they'll probably disown me, they like coming for their annual Aussie holiday). So, I guess I'm asking: For those who moved back to the UK purely for friends and family, is/was it worth it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 We never moved back purely for friends a family, but, it was an influence and ours are also very scattered like yours. My best friend lives in Leicester, my wifes family are mainly in London or Leicester, I was born in Middlesbrough, so have family and friends there there. Also have friends in Manchester. What we have found is that the UK is a lot easier than we remembered on getting around and to see people - in 3 months we have already had loads of days out with family and friends. In fact, got a big family get together in 10 days and that will be the 4 in 3 months. As for France, well, you can get to France and back easily in a day if you are living in Cambridgeshire and the Eurostar costs £50 return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 People who do it for family and friends are often disappointed it seems. Do it for yourself if you want to belong somewhere different by all means but expect that the holes your leaving has left in other peoples' lives will have healed over (often with scar tissue). That said, accessing those people is a hell of a lot easier if you don't live on the other side of the world - you don't need to live in their pockets! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobths Posted June 7, 2016 Author Share Posted June 7, 2016 We never moved back purely for friends a family, but, it was an influence and ours are also very scattered like yours. My best friend lives in Leicester, my wifes family are mainly in London or Leicester, I was born in Middlesbrough, so have family and friends there there. Also have friends in Manchester. What we have found is that the UK is a lot easier than we remembered on getting around and to see people - in 3 months we have already had loads of days out with family and friends. In fact, got a big family get together in 10 days and that will be the 4 in 3 months. As for France, well, you can get to France and back easily in a day if you are living in Cambridgeshire and the Eurostar costs £50 return. Unfortunately, my parents live in deepest darkest south western France so Eurostar isn't really feasible - we'd have to go on a plane (yay, security with a 3yo and 1yo!). But it is fabulous once we do get there :-) Defo long weekends at a minimum. Hubby's family only ever do gatherings for milestone birthdays or life events, currently clocking at an average two a year. Maybe. We'd pretty much always have to go back up north to visit his parents as his mum won't travel outside of Greater Manchester/Lancashire (otherwise I'd just pay for them to come and visit us in Australia every year, like my parents do). I must admit the prospect of a 4+ hours drive with two kids from Cambridge to Manchester fills me with dread. I know hubby's parents will love seeing the girls and that in turn will make hubby happy but I can see me saying "Hey, why don't you take the kids and I'll just stay at home and look after the dog?". I would like to see more of his sister (and the baby once it arrives) and I know that would also make hubby happy so trying to move close to them would be key - they live in a teensy two-bed house so staying over with them isn't an option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobths Posted June 7, 2016 Author Share Posted June 7, 2016 People who do it for family and friends are often disappointed it seems. Do it for yourself if you want to belong somewhere different by all means but expect that the holes your leaving has left in other peoples' lives will have healed over (often with scar tissue). That said, accessing those people is a hell of a lot easier if you don't live on the other side of the world - you don't need to live in their pockets! Oh if we do it I'm doing it for hubby, not for me. I'm dreading the lecture from my parents if/when we tell them we're going back to the UK - they 110% supported our move to Australia and my dad especially loves Melbourne and Australia. My brother will no doubt tell me I'm insane too (him living in NZ). My support network is here in Aus - I've made some great friends, especially through having two kids here, so all my mummy friends are here. The thought of starting over again kind of overwhelms me :-( Hubby always says I need a challenge though so he says when it comes down to it I'll enjoy it. And he's probably right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zack Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 So....we've been in Melbourne for 5 years, got citizenship, had two little Aussies, bought a house and Australia has generally been fantastic for us. However, hubby has always been homesick to one degree or another (we're both Brits) and we always agreed that once we had citizenship and if the right circumstances arose we would possibly return to England for a few years so our respective parents and families can spend time with our girls and hubby can get his fix of football and a proper pint. Hubby is now working for a company that has offices in London and they have said they're happy for him to transfer over there for an period. I just don't know how I feel about it all. His family and the majority of our friends are all in and around Manchester (my parents live in France and my bro lives in NZ) but obviously his job would be in London so living up there is not an option. His sister lives in Cambridge so moving near her would be nice (especially as she's due to have a baby this August) but hubby only Skypes his parents/sister once a month if that (mostly their issue, he would like to speak to them more but it never happens) and is rubbish at organising get togethers. I'd have to give up my job here, which whilst I don't love my job, it pays really well and I can go back part-time after my mat leave ends. To give some perspective, if I stay PT in my current job, we could pay off our mortgage in 10 years. He really wants to reconnect with his best mate, who's had twins since we left the UK, but going off how that went on our last trip back (his best mate's wife let his best mate stay out for oooh, two hours?) I doubt he's going to be going on boys nights very regularly. I would love to see my old friends again, but they're scattered all over the UK and I don't know how much I'd see them. Just hopping over the Channel to see my parents does appeal a lot, and my parents would love to see they granddaughters (although they'll probably disown me, they like coming for their annual Aussie holiday). So, I guess I'm asking: For those who moved back to the UK purely for friends and family, is/was it worth it? There's not really a answer to your question.Some People have greater bonding to their families and friends than others do. If you think this place Australia has been fantastic to you. You are wasting your time an d money selling up and going back.You can't have your cake and eat it. A holiday is your best shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 Well if your DH needs it for his mental health (and I can relate to that) Then take a career break, rent out your house and see what happens. Nothing is forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 So....we've been in Melbourne for 5 years, got citizenship, had two little Aussies, bought a house and Australia has generally been fantastic for us. However, hubby has always been homesick to one degree or another (we're both Brits) and we always agreed that once we had citizenship and if the right circumstances arose we would possibly return to England for a few years so our respective parents and families can spend time with our girls and hubby can get his fix of football and a proper pint. So, I guess I'm asking: For those who moved back to the UK purely for friends and family, is/was it worth it? Reading this I get the impression that your husband's desire to return may go deeper than this. I sense that a deep and totally open and honest conversation is needed and the first question you should both ask each other is where do you see yourselves living 5 years or 10 years down the road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 Reading this I get the impression that your husband's desire to return may go deeper than this. I sense that a deep and totally open and honest conversation is needed and the first question you should both ask each other is where do you see yourselves living 5 years or 10 years down the road. I agree with this 100%. For some people, it doesn't matter how fabulous life in Australia is, they have a deep connection to their homeland and will always, for the rest of their lives, yearn to go back. If you don't feel that way, it an be hard to understand, but it's a very real thing. If your husband is in that boat, then you need to know about it. As Gbye Grey Sky says, the way to find out is to have an honest conversation about where he sees himself in 5 or 10 years, and where he sees himself living in retirement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 Hard one this. You don't really want to go back do you? At least that is what comes through to me. I would think a limit of a couple of years might be the go but not sure how your husband would feel about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miw54 Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 The only way to know for sure is to try it - perhaps for a year or two as suggested by starlight7. We did this. Have to admit, we have now become ping pong poems because we love being in both countries but are free to do this as our children are independent adults doing their own thing too. It's not easy when you have little ones I know and even harder when one member of a couple is less settled than the other. Why don't you rent out your house in Melbourne so it can continue paying the mortgage ? That way, you don't completely burn your boats. You also have managed to get work easily so far and you can do it again. Whatever you do, good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 You sound like I felt moving to Australia and no it wasn't worth it! I went because my husband wanted to & hey I'm always up for an adventure, in the end it was him that was unhappy there because the life he was yearning for didn't exist there (or I suspect anywhere). It's hard to generalise but those that return to the UK for 'friends and family' when they really prefer Australia tend to be the ones that ping-pong - a couple of years on when the novelty as worn off (on both sides) and it's the middle of February, perhaps unemployment thrown in and suddenly Australia looks appealing all over again! For me I genuinely like most things about the UK better - the terrain, the climate, the humour, the way people are in general as well as my family and friends. My family was just my mam and dad and I only ever saw them a couple of times a year and I didn't expect to pick up where I left off with friends - I'd known them 5 years and been away for 5 but in fact that's exact;y what did happen - I was gobsmacked to be honest and when I commented on it one of my friends said, 'you left a Jules shape hole when you left so of course you fit straight back in' - a really nice feeling. What I would say is these are the friends I met when my son was born and I do think there is something special when you have been through that together. I was no where near as close to the friends I made in Australia and it was generally harder to make friends. I can envisage you really missing your friends from Australia back in the UK. The 'temporary' bit worries me, once your husband is back in the UK, leaving again could be hard, and if he didn't want to you'd be stuck - even if you left him you couldn't go back to Australia with the children (or rather it's incredibly unlikely). If that is the plan then see if you can take a sabbatical from work (for a year even - you can always then resign) and rent out your house, don't ship anything - make it hard NOT to go back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulip1 Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 I was just about to say what the previous post says. If you go it could be permanent. You couldn't ever return to Oz with the kids unless he wants to and agrees. It may seem inconceivable he would but who knows? He's wanting to return knowing how unhappy you are about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 Hi @Bobths...wow....I had to check my wife hadn't written this.....so very similar. Her parents live in France, her brother her in OZ, my sister lives near Cambridge, the company I work for have an office in London I could transfer too AND its me, like your husband, that is the driving force to move back. We've been here on the Gold Coast for 3 years, (came with 2 young boys) built a house, embraced the 'Aussie life'....and still I don't feel anymore settled than the day I stepped off the plane, still refer to UK as 'home' and have missed 'home' everyday I've been here...whilst still having as good time here. Like @Marisawright says "it doesn't matter how fabulous life in Australia is, they have a deep connection to their homeland and will always, for the rest of their lives, yearn to go back. If you don't feel that way, it an be hard to understand, but it's a very real thing" I dont think I've read a sentence that sums it up more than the above...and it is a VERY real thing. When I say to people I miss home and want to move back, the first thing they say is "why don't you like Australia"....I never said I didn't, I just prefer/connect more with the UK. I love the culture, history, old buildings, humour, seasons, proximity to Europe, football (proper football not rugby) pubs, music, TV, the fishing. i could go on.... All of the things I've listed I've tried here (if its available) but its just not the same. I wanted to 'pull the plug' here at our 2 year mark but my wife "wasn't ready to leave yet" so I agreed to stay and get citizenship on the condition that if I still wanted to move back after that then we would. She said shes not worried/against moving home she just doesn't want to leave Australia but she said that she will be much happier there than I ever will here. She really misses popping to her parents in France and giving the boys that total change of culture in just a short flight instead of a 4hr flight from here to Perth and still eating chicken parmy! It does cross my mind whether we could afford a nice house in our desired area in the UK to match what we have here but then it isn't that important and family, friends and that sense of settlement is priceless and worth the trade off in my opinion. We both want our children to know their family in the UK and no matter how hard we try with Skype etc they are slowly drifting further and further from the bond and that breaks my heart. I think the fact you state "we always agreed that once we had citizenship and if the right circumstances arose we would possibly return to England for a few years" you should give it a go as that may have been what your hubby has been clinging on to for the past 5 years....I know for me as much as I want to go home, knowing that we can next year once we have citizenship is what keeps me going here and gets me out of bed when the down days hit. How did you both feel on your last trip back? Glad to be back in the UK or glad to get back here? We haven't been back yet and are going back on the 23rd of June for 5 weeks, I cannot wait and am counting the days until we go. This will be a kill or cure holiday for me, I may feel different when we get back here...although boarding the plane at Heathrow is going to be a killer and my wife has already admitted she's worried about me/it! People have said to me it will be interesting to see how I feel being back home...for me I cant see it being anything short if amazing, if thought about it every day for 3 years, but its seeing how I will feel when we return here that will be the telling. Did your hubby only give it 5 years here for you and would he have been long gone before now? If so then maybe giving the UK a go might be a fair thing to do? Anyway, enough from me. I couldn't read this, be in such a similar situation and not comment. Look forward to more replies. Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bencrom81 Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 know exactly how you feel Dan. Ive wanted to head home for a few years now (been here around 6.5) but the dangling carrot of PR and then citizenship kept me going, from house move, to job move, through winters, through good times and bad. I always saw it as the end of the journey. of course I wondered what home would be like - would things have changed to the point I no longer recognised friends, family or even my home. I have to say my citizenship ceremony was last month, 2 days before I flew back to UK/Europe - it reaffirmed that I couldn't spend any more time away from mates and family.. before we even connected in Dubai, me and the mrs agreed on the plane we would be back for end of uk summer. the passport is the icing on the cake, a reward for enduring some tough times down here and obviously an outlet/option later in life. but for now, I don't even have any doubts that its the right move. I'm actually excited for the next chapter at home, with a fresh set of eyes on the great bits about where I'm from at home. sure, ill miss the coffee and the beaches here, but 6.5 years has scratched that itch for me. best of luck in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 Indeed @downunderthestairs, do i regret coming, no, do i regret leaving the uk....yes BUT had I not I wouldn't have the new appreciation for it. I might have changed as a person and what made me content before my no longer suffice but time will tell and its good that we are going back for a holiday first instead of making the move without ever going back. The holiday back this month will be our first time back, and I briefly looked into making it one way but I said to my wife as much as I want to go home id rather do 4 years here (some of them tough times) and have something to show for it (citizenship) rather than 3 years or ups and downs all for nothing. Personally I dont see my ever living here again through my own choice so citizenship for me is mainly for my boys sake and then should they wish to do the same as we have in 20+ years we can then follow should we wish as by then i think parent visas will be extinct. Everyday the holiday gets nearer I think of something else about home, especially summer that makes me even more happy/excited. Today it was the harvest time, love seeing it all unfold in the fields. Great news that you are hoping to be back by end of UK summer! By the time I get back from the UK we will have 10months until we can apply for citizenship, hoping to have a 2017 UK xmas! By the way...I dont even drink coffee and I can take or leave the beach! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 We came back to the UK in March. Hubby has a one year break from work, grown up kids still in Brisbane. If my kids weren't there I would be in no rush to head back - it is an incredible feeling to be home, back in a community, with family, friends but mostly just belonging somewhere instead of being outed as a stranger regularly due to my accent....We have citizenship so are now Australian & whilst I love many aspects of Australia, I'll always be British I suspect..I am even loving the weather - I get to enjoy my garden without sweltering and it's great to enjoy being outdoors walking again. I suppose if you're going back you could approach it as a temporary move, rent your house out and don't burn bridges as others have said. It may be that you love it here and it sounds low risk - lots of jobs near Cambridge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobths Posted July 17, 2016 Author Share Posted July 17, 2016 Hi @Bobths...wow....I had to check my wife hadn't written this.....so very similar. Her parents live in France, her brother her in OZ, my sister lives near Cambridge, the company I work for have an office in London I could transfer too AND its me, like your husband, that is the driving force to move back. We've been here on the Gold Coast for 3 years, (came with 2 young boys) built a house, embraced the 'Aussie life'....and still I don't feel anymore settled than the day I stepped off the plane, still refer to UK as 'home' and have missed 'home' everyday I've been here...whilst still having as good time here. Like @Marisawright says "it doesn't matter how fabulous life in Australia is, they have a deep connection to their homeland and will always, for the rest of their lives, yearn to go back. If you don't feel that way, it an be hard to understand, but it's a very real thing" I dont think I've read a sentence that sums it up more than the above...and it is a VERY real thing. When I say to people I miss home and want to move back, the first thing they say is "why don't you like Australia"....I never said I didn't, I just prefer/connect more with the UK. I love the culture, history, old buildings, humour, seasons, proximity to Europe, football (proper football not rugby) pubs, music, TV, the fishing. i could go on.... All of the things I've listed I've tried here (if its available) but its just not the same. I wanted to 'pull the plug' here at our 2 year mark but my wife "wasn't ready to leave yet" so I agreed to stay and get citizenship on the condition that if I still wanted to move back after that then we would. She said shes not worried/against moving home she just doesn't want to leave Australia but she said that she will be much happier there than I ever will here. She really misses popping to her parents in France and giving the boys that total change of culture in just a short flight instead of a 4hr flight from here to Perth and still eating chicken parmy! It does cross my mind whether we could afford a nice house in our desired area in the UK to match what we have here but then it isn't that important and family, friends and that sense of settlement is priceless and worth the trade off in my opinion. We both want our children to know their family in the UK and no matter how hard we try with Skype etc they are slowly drifting further and further from the bond and that breaks my heart. I think the fact you state "we always agreed that once we had citizenship and if the right circumstances arose we would possibly return to England for a few years" you should give it a go as that may have been what your hubby has been clinging on to for the past 5 years....I know for me as much as I want to go home, knowing that we can next year once we have citizenship is what keeps me going here and gets me out of bed when the down days hit. How did you both feel on your last trip back? Glad to be back in the UK or glad to get back here? We haven't been back yet and are going back on the 23rd of June for 5 weeks, I cannot wait and am counting the days until we go. This will be a kill or cure holiday for me, I may feel different when we get back here...although boarding the plane at Heathrow is going to be a killer and my wife has already admitted she's worried about me/it! People have said to me it will be interesting to see how I feel being back home...for me I cant see it being anything short if amazing, if thought about it every day for 3 years, but its seeing how I will feel when we return here that will be the telling. Did your hubby only give it 5 years here for you and would he have been long gone before now? If so then maybe giving the UK a go might be a fair thing to do? Anyway, enough from me. I couldn't read this, be in such a similar situation and not comment. Look forward to more replies. Dan Thanks for sharing your side of things Dan :-) I think I should say, hubby and I have talked lots about this and we've realised I will just never "get" his need to be in the UK, to actually physically be sat on the couch talking to his parents, rather than Skyping. But I love him and I understand that's how he feels and I don't want him to be miserable. He's also said that if it wasn't for friends, family and watch Man Utd at a reasonable hour, he'd be quite happy in Aus. He still says he sees us being old in Aus and he was genuinely proud of getting his Aussie citizenship. We've been back to the UK 3 times in 5 years, he also went back for a trip on his own when his homesickness got really bad - complete disaster as we hated being apart for the ten days he was away. He always loves the trips back, I don't - apart from the first trip back for my brother's wedding which was crazy in itself (and in December: winter, crap) - we've had our LO's with us which just makes the whole thing really hard work, plus he spends all his time with his family/friends and I spend time with mine, and it becomes a logistical nightmare. It costs a fortune and leaves us no with no annual leave to have relaxing holidays together as a family. I loved going over to France to see my parents, but he'd run out of holidays already so I had to go by myself with our LO :-( Since I wrote my original post, things seem to have gone downhill at my workplace, all my friends have quit and it doesn't sound like a place I'm likely to stay at (once I return from mat leave), so that's potentially made that aspect of the decision making a bit easier. Moving back to the UK would mean I'd get to be a SAHM to our two girls which would be awesome, although I'm not sure what the reality would be like. Here I can take them to the beach or parks every day, or we have play dates with my mummy friends - I'll have to start over with a support network and I know we won't have the beach on our doorstep anymore. Brexit has also got my parents looking at moving out here, which would be fantastic (hubby and I have lived with my parents before and he gets on really well with them) :-) Maybe we go spend two years in the UK with his family and then my parents come out here? Who knows. Still waiting on how much his firm will pay him in the UK - again with Brexit happening and the currency fluctuations, it makes a move less attractive as we could rent the house out but we'd still have Aussie mortgage, rates, water etc to pay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobths Posted July 17, 2016 Author Share Posted July 17, 2016 I was just about to say what the previous post says. If you go it could be permanent. You couldn't ever return to Oz with the kids unless he wants to and agrees. It may seem inconceivable he would but who knows? He's wanting to return knowing how unhappy you are about it. At the end of the day, my home is where my hubby is. We never thought that we'd ever feel so differently about the UK/Australia - Australia was my dream, he was up for an adventure and we were both sick of our crappy jobs and inability to get onto the housing ladder or do something with our lives in the UK. We honestly thought we'd both love it/hate it whatever. Well I love Australia, but he's still in love with England so we've got a bit of a menage a quatre going on. We definitely wouldn't sell the house or anything - temporary is temporary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BacktoDemocracy Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 So....we've been in Melbourne for 5 years, got citizenship, had two little Aussies, bought a house and Australia has generally been fantastic for us. However, hubby has always been homesick to one degree or another (we're both Brits) and we always agreed that once we had citizenship and if the right circumstances arose we would possibly return to England for a few years so our respective parents and families can spend time with our girls and hubby can get his fix of football and a proper pint. Hubby is now working for a company that has offices in London and they have said they're happy for him to transfer over there for an period. I just don't know how I feel about it all. His family and the majority of our friends are all in and around Manchester (my parents live in France and my bro lives in NZ) but obviously his job would be in London so living up there is not an option. His sister lives in Cambridge so moving near her would be nice (especially as she's due to have a baby this August) but hubby only Skypes his parents/sister once a month if that (mostly their issue, he would like to speak to them more but it never happens) and is rubbish at organising get togethers. I'd have to give up my job here, which whilst I don't love my job, it pays really well and I can go back part-time after my mat leave ends. To give some perspective, if I stay PT in my current job, we could pay off our mortgage in 10 years. He really wants to reconnect with his best mate, who's had twins since we left the UK, but going off how that went on our last trip back (his best mate's wife let his best mate stay out for oooh, two hours?) I doubt he's going to be going on boys nights very regularly. I would love to see my old friends again, but they're scattered all over the UK and I don't know how much I'd see them. Just hopping over the Channel to see my parents does appeal a lot, and my parents would love to see they granddaughters (although they'll probably disown me, they like coming for their annual Aussie holiday). So, I guess I'm asking: For those who moved back to the UK purely for friends and family, is/was it worth it? I can only relate it to us,, I'm retired and been back 2.5 years, my wife is much younger and was still working up till 2 weeks ago when she gave up because of the sex ism and bullying and is retraining to go self employed.. We came back after 10 years and found country really changed, we found friends had moved on and felt like everybody was working so hard to keep their jobs that they had little time unless you were within half hour of them. One of our problems was that the options for my wife to reduce down her responsibilities in Australia was very difficult and we thought UK would offer better opportunity for that, it hasn't, we have been left feeling like employers here want every pound of flesh out of you with very few protections from sex ism, incompetent management and real problems with bullying in the workplace. lol a am that much older so travelling is becoming more of an issue but I do feel that getting to places either by car or other transport here here is a bit of an endurance, everything is crowded and your are very fortunate if there are not delays. Also I would flag up how expensive living in or around London is, property prices are very high altho the London bubble has been pricked by Brexit but even so prices are still very high as are rents, I mean it's something when Deptford is now desirable, getting a decent place to live in a decent area in the SE is pretty expensive. And the weather, the effects of global warming are certainly starting to affect us, generally warmer across the seasons but much wetter. The number of proper pubs just continues to shrink. I've concentrated on the negatives, there are upsides, the country is greener, people understand your humour and understand you when you make ironic or flippant comments and the food and drink in the supermarkets is a much bigger range and better, to my taste buds, than Coles. As a final thought have you considered education for your children, it seems to be much more like factory education here with a lot of pressure to achieve and a lot of testing and teaching simply to get thro the tests, finally, finally, have you thought how 4 or 5 years out of the Australian workplace might affect your husband's and even your careers should you want to return, PT work here so far as I am aware is like hens teeth, but that is my assessment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BacktoDemocracy Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 We never moved back purely for friends a family, but, it was an influence and ours are also very scattered like yours. My best friend lives in Leicester, my wifes family are mainly in London or Leicester, I was born in Middlesbrough, so have family and friends there there. Also have friends in Manchester. What we have found is that the UK is a lot easier than we remembered on getting around and to see people - in 3 months we have already had loads of days out with family and friends. In fact, got a big family get together in 10 days and that will be the 4 in 3 months. As for France, well, you can get to France and back easily in a day if you are living in Cambridgeshire and the Eurostar costs £50 return. Cheapest I could find a rerun for at normal times a month out was £114. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imapla Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 So....we've been in Melbourne for 5 years, got citizenship, had two little Aussies, bought a house and Australia has generally been fantastic for us. However, hubby has always been homesick to one degree or another (we're both Brits) and we always agreed that once we had citizenship and if the right circumstances arose we would possibly return to England for a few years so our respective parents and families can spend time with our girls and hubby can get his fix of football and a proper pint. Hubby is now working for a company that has offices in London and they have said they're happy for him to transfer over there for an period. I just don't know how I feel about it all. His family and the majority of our friends are all in and around Manchester (my parents live in France and my bro lives in NZ) but obviously his job would be in London so living up there is not an option. His sister lives in Cambridge so moving near her would be nice (especially as she's due to have a baby this August) but hubby only Skypes his parents/sister once a month if that (mostly their issue, he would like to speak to them more but it never happens) and is rubbish at organising get togethers. I'd have to give up my job here, which whilst I don't love my job, it pays really well and I can go back part-time after my mat leave ends. To give some perspective, if I stay PT in my current job, we could pay off our mortgage in 10 years. He really wants to reconnect with his best mate, who's had twins since we left the UK, but going off how that went on our last trip back (his best mate's wife let his best mate stay out for oooh, two hours?) I doubt he's going to be going on boys nights very regularly. I would love to see my old friends again, but they're scattered all over the UK and I don't know how much I'd see them. Just hopping over the Channel to see my parents does appeal a lot, and my parents would love to see they granddaughters (although they'll probably disown me, they like coming for their annual Aussie holiday). So, I guess I'm asking: For those who moved back to the UK purely for friends and family, is/was it worth it? To answer your question - for me no! We came back for same reasons - to spend time with family - we liked life in Brisbane but my husband had started to miss a few things about the UK (even though he initially didn't go back to visit for 7 years) Any we ummed and ahhed and finally made the decision to go back and from day 1 (or even before we left) I knew it was the wrong decision - temporary is all v. well but it costs a lot to move everything over, emotionally its draining to set everything up again in the UK, as you say where you live depends on how often you'll see your friends and family and there are not many of mine that I have seen more more than when I came over for my annual visit. My OH would be happy to stay here so now there's another dimension which I hadn't thought would happen. We will go back but it has cost us a lot and saying goodbye to everyone a second time is also hard. One thing it has done is got it out of my system - I absolutely know I don't want to live in the UK and do want to live in Brisbane (which I wasn't 100% sure of before) and I guess many ping pongers have to go through this rather than just making a decision based on other people's experiences. Nothing is forever but I regret leaving my job - I may get my job back there and slot back in as if I had never left - I may not. Its all very uncertain and I can't wait to get back and find out ! Also the winter hit me hard - it wasn't that bad - weather wise - to be honest where we are but so dark - not enough light - not enough sun - not enough blue skies and not enough warmth - things aren't so bad now its summer - in fact today has been the most beautiful day and sitting outside in the sun reminded me that we pretty much did that every day in Qld !! Don't take it for granted - remember the reasons you went to Aus in the first place. Ask yourself this - would you rather your OH was homesick in Aus or you were homesick in UK because it sounds like it could well come to that - on the other hand - it may help him to see that Aus is the place for you all. If only we had a crystal ball ............ Good luck with the decision - how about sending him off on a 2 month sabbatical to London and seeing how he goes !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatMoose Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 For what it's worth, I think the fact that you've had kids is significant. I know two couples here in Oz who have moved back so that their kids can have time with grandparents and other family members. All waited until they got citizenship mind you. For me as a single lass, the pull to go home has been going on for about 6 months. In the middle of that time, my sister got breast cancer and my dad had a heart attack (he's fine now thankfully). I have my Aussie passport and I'm trying to see if going back to the UK could work for a couple or three years. I'm happy to be mobile, but money is my issue in that it's VERY tight. Dad has offered to pay for my flight home and also that of my cat. He wants his girl home, even though his 'girl' is 46!! I've just returned from a short trip to the UK to help my sister where I could. Obviously I can do bugger all from here. When in the UK I realised that there was in fact MUCH that I missed about the place. I only ever clothes and shoe shop on my return to the UK, I have Foxtel to watch the English sport and I listen to British and US music. Hmmmm.... Anyway - the move BACK to the UK is proving far more traumatic for me than the move from UK to Oz, as I do really love it here in many ways, but no it's never felt like home and there's much abut UK/European culture that I love and miss. I'm going to look at it like a 2-3 year adventure in the UK and then I'll decide from there. I guess with both passports, we really can have our cake and eat it sometimes. Good luck with your decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desreb Posted September 18, 2016 Share Posted September 18, 2016 Well bobths and wattsy, your stories were very familiar. We're in almost exactly the same boat, and going through the same decision. I won't post our story now - in part, I don't need to, it's the same - but I'll watch this thread closely and share our own at some point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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