lillypond Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Please could anyone advise I am so worried, my son who lives in uk is 38 has fallen for a woman who is Australian they have been getting to know each other via Skype and chat for around 6 months, and have fallen in love, she is working and rents a house, she has invited him over to stay with her for a holiday in April ,he has bought the plane ticket with his savings and is staying for 3 weeks. I have just been informed that they plan to Marry in the time he is over there on holiday. They both seem to think it will be easy for him to emigrate later on in the year ,she has said she will support him, my son is unemployed has no skills and very little money he also has Aspergers Syndrome. She is booking a wedding venue buying a Dress, What is going on Please advise me im not sure what to do, I dont want him getting in trouble or getting his heart broken ,I have looked on this website and it looks so difficult to be allowed to live in Australia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy053 Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 (edited) Sorry to hear about your situation. I don't have any advice as such but I wonder if this other post could be from your son? http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/welcome/244644-i-have-fallen-love-want-move-australia-my-girlfriend-2.html Edited February 8, 2016 by Stacy053 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeperth Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Sounds very dodgy. Even if this is a real person, no good can come from it. Can you go with him to keep him out of trouble? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Sorry to hear about your situation. I don't have any advise as such but I wonder if this other post could be from your son? http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/welcome/244644-i-have-fallen-love-want-move-australia-my-girlfriend-2.html It does seem very possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
srh82 Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 (edited) And both mum and son found PIO! Edited February 8, 2016 by calNgary tidying up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lillypond Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 I am not able to travel that far as I am disabled ,I am also wondering if there is an ulterior motive from the woman how do I check this out, I just think he is heading for a fall. Thank you for your help . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 .........sorry your facing this situation..... .........but what can you do...? .........if your son is free to make his own decisions......all you can do is talk to him.... ........try to be non judgemental ,but point out the pitfalls.... .........together put some plans in place in case things don't work out...... .........I'm not sure of the legalities of their plan......hopefully someone else can help ... .........all the best to you.....Xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blossom Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 I am not able to travel that far as I am disabled ,I am also wondering if there is an ulterior motive from the woman how do I check this out, I just think he is heading for a fall. Thank you for your help . What sort of ulterior motive do you think she could have? You have said he is unemployed with very little money. A partner visa is very expensive as is moving across the world, so she may even end up having to help him financially. Unless she's planning on selling his organs, I don't see what ulterior motive there could be. It's not unheard of for people to meet and fall in love online. I met the father of my children online. Granted I met him in person pretty quickly and certainly before falling in love. But it can happen. I think this will go one of two ways. They will meet, get married and be very happy, at least to start with. OR they will meet, realise it's not the same in person, he'll come back and that will be the end of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Oh dear- what a can of worms. Very, very hard for you to stand by whilst this is happening but I really cannot think what else you can do given he is that age. Perhaps if you wrote down a list of your concerns rather than verbally confront him? In a way maybe it will be good if he cannot get residence or perhaps he could get her to come over and you could 'suss' her out a bit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lillypond Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 Hi Blossom, Thanks for your reply, more than anything I would love this to work out for him, like any mum I just want him to be happy nothing else, and if it doesn't work out I will sell his organs for giving me so much grief lol . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Would your son let you speak to her ? Maybe if you could call her and chat you would feel better about the whole situation. Fingers crossed everything works out well for you both. Cal x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Must have kept the first 6 months secret then, cos he says been skyping a year. This is a wind up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lillypond Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 Hi, Thank you for your reply, I am trying to talk to him ,I did say just go on holiday get to know if you like each other after spending 3 weeks together full time, and take it from there, but no they want to marry the week after he arrives , love gone crazy ? . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lillypond Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 Hi, I am going to speak to her for the first time on Skype this Thursday . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 He's 38 years old not 18. He's a grown man. Let him find out for himself what this person is like in 'real life'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lillypond Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 I don't live with my son, and yes he has kept things from me as most sons do if they don't want to worry their parents . I knew nothing about this issue until December .Trust me this is Not A Wind up as you say, I have far better things to do than wind people up . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 I can totally understand your concern but on the face of it your son doesn't have a lot to offer - if he was super rich or the women in question was seeking to move from a developing country to the UK alarm bells would really ring but people do fall in love online these days. It seems crazy to marry someone you haven't met yet but then my husband proposed after 6 weeks which was pretty crazy and we've been together 30 years this year! Although the risks are minute he should practice basic common sense, meet her for the first time in a public place, have his own accommodation, a return flight ticket and so on. Unfortunately you cannot protect him from a broken heart, I have learnt that already and my son is only 12! You could engage a surveillance company to check her out I suppose but your son wouldn't thank you and whatever you found good or bad could destroy your relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lillypond Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 Thank you so much for your advise Lady Rainicorn you are so right, and I hope with all my heart that it works out for both of them , he has a return ticket and a date to come back to the uk but by then it looks as if they will be married and then hopes to go back if allowed later in the year to be with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 He should talk to an agent given that he has a diagnosis and is unemployed. There is a very real chance that immigration would not look favourably on their situation and he is left via -less in the longer term. I don't suppose this lady sees him as a ticket into UK because that won't happen either. I fear he is riding for a fall but you're right you can't tell a mid 30s chap he's making a boo boo (I have tried and failed!) and having been married to my long distance love for 42 years I'm not one to talk about long distance relationships either. It's his medical condition and odd relationship journey that will ring bells. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CiderDrinkingCoder Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Guys, if he's travelling on a tourist visa with the intent to marry, might that not throw up a potential raft of issues? My understanding was that's a big, red line "no no" to the DIBP? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patphillips47 Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Thank you so much for your advise Lady Rainicorn you are so right, and I hope with all my heart that it works out for both of them , he has a return ticket and a date to come back to the uk but by then it looks as if they will be married and then hopes to go back if allowed later in the year to be with her. Unfortunately if Immigration question him re a marriage etc he might get turned back at the airport ! Have you got an address for the lady lillypond or her location Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 I want to hear what parleycross thinks about this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lillypond Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 Hi Pat thank you for getting back, my son has sent small gifts to her which she has received so he has an address but I will make a note of things to ask him face to face on Thursday he lives 35 miles away from me and neither of us drive. Thanks again x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Perhaps she thinks it's a ticket into the UK? Australia does have a terrible man drought and meeting on-line is the modern way so it could be love....as others have said, it's worked for them! It must seem a real worry though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CiderDrinkingCoder Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 She'll be disappointed when she finds out how UK visa regulations work... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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