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Leaving tomorrow don't think I can go!


paddymacs

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I must be "odd" too!

 

I was so excited and happy. I didn't cry. My family didn't cry. No fuss was made. It was a quick kiss and hug at home. No party or long drawn out farewells. They wished me luck and asked me to keep in touch. Then I took myself off to the airport alone.

 

Then again, my sisters and brothers, have always been quite independent of each other. We got together at Xmas most years. But we didn't live in each others pockets, months could go by without a phone call and we weren't tied by the apron strings to our parents.

 

So guessing if you see your parents and family an excessive amount and are very involved with them - then leaving would be hard and staying may be harder.

 

But we have to try these things in life. Give it a go - and see how you go.

 

Me neither, didn't cry once and was never homesick. Didn't cry at any point before I went and at no point after I arrived. I would say I was excited for the journey but I don't think I would say "happy and excited" because I did have some apprehensions.

 

I completely agree that it is much harder for those that are close and used to seeing family every day. Sometimes I read about people crying for months and describing their relationships with parents and I wonder why on earth they are moving - although I don't think that is OP, looks like this is something OP has been looking forward to for a long time.

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No not loaded, we just chose to use our holidays visiting family and friends that we left behind and miss, we have also been very lucky that our house has had a revolving door since we arrived of everyone coming to visit us - its like we never left sometimes!!! Also we had committed to attend some family get togethers before we moved so knew we were going back for weddings etc... I don't like the flight either but its a small sacrifice :-)

 

 

I think most people are thinking, "I wish", but maybe you are just more frugal in other ways, and have a more flexible employer. I used to go home every two years because (a) the flights are so expensive and (b) I couldn't get a block of three or four weeks off every year. We used to have weekends away or visit friends in Queensland for other holidays, but certainly couldn't afford any other "proper" holidays in between. And that was just the two of us, both working professionals, no kids!

Edited by Marisawright
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There's been quite a lot of posting to this thread since it started... Is anyone else curious (or know), did the OP get on the plane?!?!

 

It's like an episode of Eastenders, or should I say Neighbours! Did she, didn't she..........? I'm guessing by the lack of posts that she probably did get on the plane and has been travelling/recovering from Jet lag (or realising now that it was a no-brainer and is down the beach already!)

 

Be interesting to hear her outcome and after-thoughts. Either way... I wish her well.

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My mum now has an iPad and knows what facetime is!!!!!!

 

 

Same here - my mum's 70 and she loves her iPad.

 

Don't underestimate the power of the Internet to keep you feeling connected.

 

I would also say go for it. If you don't like it, hit UNDO. Life is too short to sit inside your comfort-zone.

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There's been quite a lot of posting to this thread since it started... Is anyone else curious (or know), did the OP get on the plane?!?!

 

I have been wondering that too.

 

And I was too nervous to ask.....just in case they didn't!

 

But I seriously hope they did - otherwise I think they will end up seriously regretting missed opportunities or what might have been.

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Same here - my mum's 70 and she loves her iPad.

 

Don't underestimate the power of the Internet to keep you feeling connected.

 

I would also say go for it. If you don't like it, hit UNDO. Life is too short to sit inside your comfort-zone.

 

 

That's what my parents used to say to us and I said it to my kids too.

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We are here in Perth!!!

sorry it's taken so long to reply our wifi isn't working its only staying on for about 2 minutes at any time so I've only got to read all your replies now wow what a response and thank you to you all. I never closed one eye on Wednesday and had what felt like panic attack it was awful like someone else said I was fine packing emptying house etc but that last night in bed it all went pear shaped I couldn't believe how I felt anyway my DH encouraged me that morning saying we could come home after Christmas if I didn't like it (we already had a two year pact in place) the final goodbyes to our parents at the house (thankfully we didn't do airport goodbyes learnt that from here so thank you) were just horrific it really was awful. I cried on and off all the way to Dubai and then it stopped! we have had a lovely few days even got a 12 month rental sorted in our suburb of choice have been on to mum and dad every day and yesterday on FaceTime which was lovely and I knew they were delighted too. You must have all thought I was mad but I knew someone would have felt like that at some stage so thank you for all the replies. We are off to look at a car today and have friends coming for as pool party at our holiday rental. I will give you an update again but for now thank you to you all feeling very lucky to be here. Onwards and upwards xxx

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Good to hear. Keep the postive thinking going forward, there may be some bumps in the road but be prepared, don't give up at the first hurdle or try not to work past it if you still feel your goal is what you want.

 

I think the going home after Christmas thing is possibly a dangerous thing to say or have in the back of your mind. Its an opt out and you are maybe not giving yourselves enough time to know what is what. Its more a long holiday if you are back within 3 months. But then some do head back that quick or quicker. You are moving the goalposts already from your 2 years and although nothing is set in stone, it really can and most likely will take longer than 3 months to feel more at home. However, if you really hate it, hate the whole thing, heading back is perhaps the best thing. But the missing people side of things, I think that needs a bit longer to work out and an extra 6 months to make friends, find your feet and start to settle can make all the difference. We are two years in and although I've been fine from the moment we arrived pretty much, it took till we bought a house 7 months in for me to really be able to feel settled and more complete here. 2 years in, its home and happy as anything.

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We are here in Perth!!!

sorry it's taken so long to reply our wifi isn't working its only staying on for about 2 minutes at any time so I've only got to read all your replies now wow what a response and thank you to you all. I never closed one eye on Wednesday and had what felt like panic attack it was awful like someone else said I was fine packing emptying house etc but that last night in bed it all went pear shaped I couldn't believe how I felt anyway my DH encouraged me that morning saying we could come home after Christmas if I didn't like it (we already had a two year pact in place) the final goodbyes to our parents at the house (thankfully we didn't do airport goodbyes learnt that from here so thank you) were just horrific it really was awful. I cried on and off all the way to Dubai and then it stopped! we have had a lovely few days even got a 12 month rental sorted in our suburb of choice have been on to mum and dad every day and yesterday on FaceTime which was lovely and I knew they were delighted too. You must have all thought I was mad but I knew someone would have felt like that at some stage so thank you for all the replies. We are off to look at a car today and have friends coming for as pool party at our holiday rental. I will give you an update again but for now thank you to you all feeling very lucky to be here. Onwards and upwards xxx

 

 

I can really identify with you.

As I said in my post, I literally was in tears the entire last day. I couldn't even look at my Mum without crying. I think it was a combination of nerves, excitement and stress. After all it is a MASSIVE move. I think I had a bit of a breakdown, I couldn't really think straight and when my Dad arrived to see us off I was still trying to put things into cases...ended up gazing out of the window, in a bit of a trance, tears in my eyes saying I can't do it...they had to take over and fit the last bits wherever they could..lol and that is NOT me at all. Stress does funny things to us.

 

I will add that on subsequent visits, when family have come here it has felt a bit like that (not as bad) when they've left and I've been distraught. Strangely enough after a good hour or so they dry up and I'm left feeling fine again. It's just adjustment. It can be tough. I quite like having my family in UK and us here, that sounds awful..it probably is but I don't need or want them in my back pockets all the time. I love them and we have the best times when they visit or when we visit them. I have felt very sad on return trips too (when leaving UK again) but not the last time...I was keen to come home.

Seeing family and friends stirs up a lot of complex, conflicting emotions.

 

I really do think that if you get 'the feeling' when you arrive, it won't go away and you'll be fine here. You have to love it really or else why bother? Too big a sacrifice.

 

Best of luck, the weather is awesome right now (apart from tomorrow) A great time to land in Perth.

Edited by HappyHeart
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I can really identify with you.

As I said in my post, I literally was in tears the entire last day. I couldn't even look at my Mum without crying. I think it was a combination of nerves, excitement and stress. After all it is a MASSIVE move. I think I had a bit of a breakdown, I couldn't really think straight and when my Dad arrived to see us off I was still trying to put things into cases...ended up gazing out of the window, in a bit of a trance, tears in my eyes saying I can't do it...they had to take over and fit the last bits wherever they could..lol and that is NOT me at all. Stress does funny things to us.

 

I will add that on subsequent visits (when family have come here it has felt a bit like that (not as bad) when they've left and I've been distraught. Strangely enough after a good hour or so they dry up and I'm left feeling fine again. It's just adjustment. It can be tough. I quite like having my family in UK and us here, that sounds awful..it probably is but I don't need or want them in my back pockets all the time. I love them and we have the best times when they visit or when we visit them. I have felt very sad on return trips too (when leaving UK again) but not the last time...I was keen to come home.

Seeing family and friends stirs up a lot of complex, conflicting emotions.

 

I really do think that if you get 'the feeling' when you arrive, it won't go away and you'll be fine here. You have to love it really or else why bother? Too big a sacrifice.

 

Best of luck, the weather is awesome right now (apart from tomorrow) A great time to land in Perth.

 

I also used to feel really upset when Mum left after staying with us for a few months. It was almost worse than when we said goodbye when I migrated. I felt very down for a couple of days but then things soon got back to normal. No matter what anyone says, it's difficult.

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I also used to feel really upset when Mum left after staying with us for a few months. It was almost worse than when we said goodbye when I migrated. I felt very down for a couple of days but then things soon got back to normal. No matter what anyone says, it's difficult.

 

 

I think it is a bit 'out of sight out of mind'...it is for me anyway, selfish moo I am.

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I think the going home after Christmas thing is possibly a dangerous thing to say or have in the back of your mind. Its an opt out and you are maybe not giving yourselves enough time to know what is what. It really can and most likely will take longer than 3 months to feel more at home.

 

Totally agree.

 

Especially since Christmas is only ten weeks away.

 

I also think every day contact with parents is too much. Once a week every Sunday would be better. I use to get in touch once a month at first - now its once a year or when I remember!

 

New arrivals really need to commitment 100% and throw yourselves into giving it your best shot. Give yourself AT LEAST one year. Totally focus on your new life. Get involved with school PTA or kids sports or local community events. Don't isolate yourselves. Get out and meet some Aussies.

 

Going home after Christmas 2016 is fine. But after Christmas 2015 is not enough time.

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Guest The Pom Queen
You must be loaded to go back that often. We were here 13 years before we went back. Never felt the need to TBH, everyone was coming out here for holidays so we saw the families a fair bit. Hate the flight and there are so many other places to go that are a lot closer.

We haven't been back once yet.

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Personally I don't see the point of traveling to the other side of the world; only to mix with other expats or to only eat the same food you left behind.

 

I believe in immersing yourself and befriending locals.

But if you do want a taste of "home"..........you should have stayed home - nah only joking! :)

 

 

 

But I really suggest trying to befriend some Aussies; as this will help you settle a lot quicker.

 

I actually don't know any English people here at all. All my friends and work colleagues are Australian born.

Edited by The Pom Queen
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Personally I don't see the point of traveling to the other side of the world; only to mix with other expats or to only eat the same food you left behind.

 

I believe in immersing yourself and befriending locals.

But if you do want a taste of "home"..........you should have stayed home - nah only joking! :)

 

 

 

But I really suggest trying to befriend some Aussies; as this will help you settle a lot quicker.

 

I actually don't know any English people here at all. All my friends and work colleagues are Australian born.

 

I'd suggest a mixture if possible. In fact I'd bother not about birth place more who can click with and feel comfortable in their company. (and them you) Difficult enough these days without concerns about other criteria.

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I don't know many British people, either. Not too many round here, they are all Aussies. I know a couple of Scots so I guess they count as British? It would be quite nice to meet another ex Londoner and reminisce though, never seem to meet anyone at all from there.

 

I'm amazed at how many British accents I hear round Devonport. Scottish, Irish and accents from all over England. Most of them have retired from the mainland. A few migrated to Tasmania to work in mining or forestry years ago.

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I'm amazed at how many British accents I hear round Devonport. Scottish, Irish and accents from all over England. Most of them have retired from the mainland. A few migrated to Tasmania to work in mining or forestry years ago.

 

So that's where they've gone! Used to be more here 20 years ago. Quite a few Dutch and German accents here now but that's all.6 stops further on- Cantonese and Vietnamese

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