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want to emigrate


ickleric

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As the others have said, you don't get round it, you learn to be very self sufficient and need to be very selfish to survive. It's hard enough when you actually want to make the move but if you are in any doubt it must be awful. You absolutely cannot make the assumption that because your OH likes the hot weather on holiday that she will love Australia - there's a whole world of difference between lounging somewhere on holiday and having to work, do the housework, do the shopping, pick up the kids etc etc in the heat.

 

I'd say don't bully your OH, you've put it out there that you fancy doing it now draw a line and wait for her to get back to you about it. She may think about it and decide it might be an adventure or she might just heave a huge sigh of relief that you aren't pestering her about it any more.

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Agree again, you can't beat an English Christmas no matter what you do.

 

I must be a one of the few people on the face of the earth who doesn't do Christmas. Even when we went back to the UK every 2nd year when our sons were at school - it was great to see Mum but honestly, for me it's just another day. People eating far too much and spending far too much. Also we're not religious. Of course we always exchanged gifts with close rellies and close friends but yeah .................... Bah Humbug.

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Every single year at around 5pm on Xmas day, as we were wrapping up tons of uneaten food to put back in the fridge or freezer, we'd always say "we're not doing this again next year! Then I'd spend the next hour jumping in the recycling bin to make room for more and more paper and cardboard that wouldn't be getting collected for another 2 weeks. Then filling the regular bin with all the waste food that can't be frozen, and that bin wouldn't be getting collected for another week or so. But at least there was an old James Bond film or The Von Trapps to watch, before writing the shopping list for all the food we'd need to buy tomorrow because there was "nothing left in the house!"

 

But as sure as the sunrise....... We'd do it again next year.

 

Until we came to Australia that is! [emoji3] now I actually love a Summer Xmas. No pressure to give most of my salary that month to Tesco and other retailers. A laid-back, much smaller scale dinner outside in the garden.

 

 

 

Edit - still got Bond and the Von Trapps to watch if that's your thing! [emoji12]

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Every single year at around 5pm on Xmas day, as we were wrapping up tons of uneaten food to put back in the fridge or freezer, we'd always say "we're not doing this again next year! Then I'd spend the next hour jumping in the recycling bin to make room for more and more paper and cardboard that wouldn't be getting collected for another 2 weeks. Then filling the regular bin with all the waste food that can't be frozen, and that bin wouldn't be getting collected for another week or so. But at least there was an old James Bond film or The Von Trapps to watch, before writing the shopping list for all the food we'd need to buy tomorrow because there was "nothing left in the house!"

 

But as sure as the sunrise....... We'd do it again next year.

 

Until we came to Australia that is! [emoji3] now I actually love a Summer Xmas. No pressure to give most of my salary that month to Tesco and other retailers. A laid-back, much smaller scale dinner outside in the garden.

 

 

 

Edit - still got Bond and the Von Trapps to watch if that's your thing! [emoji12]

I always try and make Xmas Day as relaxing as possible,where-ever I'm living.I guess for those in Oz,alot wouldn't have the pressure of visiting other family members.

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Every single year at around 5pm on Xmas day, as we were wrapping up tons of uneaten food to put back in the fridge or freezer, we'd always say "we're not doing this again next year! Then I'd spend the next hour jumping in the recycling bin to make room for more and more paper and cardboard that wouldn't be getting collected for another 2 weeks. Then filling the regular bin with all the waste food that can't be frozen, and that bin wouldn't be getting collected for another week or so. But at least there was an old James Bond film or The Von Trapps to watch, before writing the shopping list for all the food we'd need to buy tomorrow because there was "nothing left in the house!"

 

But as sure as the sunrise....... We'd do it again next year.

 

Until we came to Australia that is! [emoji3] now I actually love a Summer Xmas. No pressure to give most of my salary that month to Tesco and other retailers. A laid-back, much smaller scale dinner outside in the garden.

 

 

 

Edit - still got Bond and the Von Trapps to watch if that's your thing! [emoji12]

 

i understand Christmas is a big expense for a lot of families ! So I understand you there I!

 

But for me although I did know what it was like give all us salary to Santa every year , and I still have here just same !

 

For me I do not care about the left over food so what ! I had a great time I went to town , and new year too ! Christmas Day was all about kids ! Families , Boxing Day same again famines Buffett get the karaoke out ! New year don't even get me started lol ! :) Christmas isn't about left over food to me ! !

 

Midnight mass christmass mass eve even the smell of Christmas through ta house the coziness ! Lol

 

i played Santa to my neighbours kids dressed up as miss Xmas haha ! Just a right good laugh ! Watching my little grandson open his presents over Skype doesn't cut it ! My friend up north said she's finding herself losing her sense of humour here ! I'm like what not a chance I will not let people or anything change me ! I didn't come here for that lol :)

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First, forget that you will visit 1-2 times a year. It wont happen. I have been lucky to have earned a very good income while in Australia and we don't have children. But even then I have only managed twice in over 7 years and both of them were for funerals.

 

There is no point in pressuring your wife as this is a recipe for disaster. If you manage to persuade her to go along with it, she makes the move and then finds that she misses her family too much or simply doesn't like the place - some don't - then she is going to feel massive resentment at you for going through this. The path to the divorce court is being laid bare in front of you. Be very careful, the divorce lawyers have made a lot of money from members of this forum for just this reason.

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First, forget that you will visit 1-2 times a year. It wont happen. I have been lucky to have earned a very good income while in Australia and we don't have children. But even then I have only managed twice in over 7 years and both of them were for funerals.

 

There is no point in pressuring your wife as this is a recipe for disaster. If you manage to persuade her to go along with it, she makes the move and then finds that she misses her family too much or simply doesn't like the place - some don't - then she is going to feel massive resentment at you for going through this. The path to the divorce court is being laid bare in front of you. Be very careful, the divorce lawyers have made a lot of money from members of this forum for just this reason.

 

but why would it have to end in divorce emigrating doesn't cause divorce ! I would not let this emigrating business come between me and my hubby not worth it ! If I got on a plane tomoz he would follow ! There has got to be deeper problems than that !

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but why would it have to end in divorce emigrating doesn't cause divorce ! I would not let this emigrating business come between me and my hubby not worth it ! If I got on a plane tomoz he would follow ! There has got to be deeper problems than that !

 

Don't think he said it had to end in divorce. Of course migration does not always end in divorce, but it is something that leads to a higher rate of divorce, particularly where one wants it and the other does not. You are lucky if your husband would follow, many husbands (and wives will not). And wanting to live on different sides of the world is a really deep problem, about as deep as they come, it is so fundamental.

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Don't think he said it had to end in divorce. Of course migration does not always end in divorce, but it is something that leads to a higher rate of divorce, particularly where one wants it and the other does not. You are lucky if your husband would follow, many husbands (and wives will not). And wanting to live on different sides of the world is a really deep problem, about as deep as they come, it is so fundamental.

 

ok but not worth it just for emigrating ! Sod that for a game ! :)

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I must be a one of the few people on the face of the earth who doesn't do Christmas. Even when we went back to the UK every 2nd year when our sons were at school - it was great to see Mum but honestly, for me it's just another day. People eating far too much and spending far too much. Also we're not religious. Of course we always exchanged gifts with close rellies and close friends but yeah .................... Bah Humbug.

 

You've got one other person in the same boat! Once the childhood magic had worn off, I never cared for Christmas at all. I do miss a Scottish New Year though.

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but why would it have to end in divorce emigrating doesn't cause divorce ! I would not let this emigrating business come between me and my hubby not worth it ! If I got on a plane tomoz he would follow ! There has got to be deeper problems than that !

 

You obviously have a very solid marriage. Also you're a good example of "when the going gets tough, the tough get going" - even though you're having a bad time, you can cope. Not everyone is so strong and not everyone is so devoted to their partner that they'd make major sacrifices for them.

 

I have seen people - on these forums - so deeply miserable in Australia that they've been in tears all the time, yet their other half won't contemplate moving back. Result - separation and divorce.

 

I'm sure your hubby didn't nag you into coming to Australia, and if you were deeply depressed about it, he'd move back for your sake. I think VeryStormy is worried that the OP is the kind of person who lets his enthusiasm get away with him, and he'll steamroller his wife into moving then be unsympathetic if she hates it.

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You obviously have a very solid marriage. Also you're a good example of "when the going gets tough, the tough get going" - even though you're having a bad time, you can cope. Not everyone is so strong and not everyone is so devoted to their partner that they'd make major sacrifices for them.

 

I have seen people - on these forums - so deeply miserable in Australia that they've been in tears all the time, yet their other half won't contemplate moving back. Result - separation and divorce.

 

I'm sure your hubby didn't nag you into coming to Australia, and if you were deeply depressed about it, he'd move back for your sake. I think VeryStormy is worried that the OP is the kind of person who lets his enthusiasm get away with him, and he'll steamroller his wife into moving then be unsympathetic if she hates it.

 

Yea I understand, marrisa , yes I have got a very strong marriage , no my hubby didn't force me I wouldn't let any man force me in to doing what I didn't want to do , or dictate to me or anything else for that matter , it was a decision we made together, And my hubby normally goes along with what I want anyway most the time ! But I did say if it ever gets us to that point we would just go back ! And I do get other people's difficulties but I don't get why someone when married doesn't love them enough and one chooses here and then the other chooses there and that's the end of their marriage , it's not that good here lol :) and yea I do agree with a lot very stormy has to say well I read it to me hubby and he tells me in simple terms lol :):) but yep if one is unsure don't force them because I'd tell them bog right off lol :) and yes I've seen people I know in tears but more to do with job situ than marriage breakdown :) and I do get down in the dumps but I refuse to get depressed I can snap out of it after a whinge maybe I am strong maybe :)

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I work for the NHS and get 33 days holidays which is a lot more than most in aus by the sound of it. I I didn't realise I'd only get about 20 days leave in aus.

I'm not going to force my wife into anything, I've mentioned to her about it if one day she decides it's for her then great. Just have to keep as a dream for me :-)

 

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I work for the NHS and get 33 days holidays which is a lot more than most in aus by the sound of it. I I didn't realise I'd only get about 20 days leave in aus.

I'm not going to force my wife into anything, I've mentioned to her about it if one day she decides it's for her then great. Just have to keep as a dream for me :-)

 

 

yea u keep it as a dream for now at least ! Because it's not been a dream for me I thought I was living on elm street for the first few yrs lol :) good luck though but u need serious thought !

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