LauraH Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 Problem number 1 - I'm pregnant Problem number 2 - father is still legally married I'm in a real pickle. Long story short, I have been in a relationship with a man for just over a year. Recently found out I'm pregnant, now I'm worried about deportation. My visa does not run out for another years time so my child will be born in Australia. I was going to be applying straight away for my 187 in June. Will have a child affect this visa? If I don't get the visa will I be sent home to England? Does the father being Australian have any bearing on the situation? All answers appreciated. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been in this situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy1 Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 (edited) Problem number 1 - I'm pregnant Problem number 2 - father is still legally married I'm in a real pickle. Long story short, I have been in a relationship with a man for just over a year. Recently found out I'm pregnant, now I'm worried about deportation. My visa does not run out for another years time so my child will be born in Australia. I was going to be applying straight away for my 187 in June. Will have a child affect this visa? If I don't get the visa will I be sent home to England? Does the father being Australian have any bearing on the situation? All answers appreciated. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been in this situation. The child will be an Australian citizen as the Father is Australian. If you do not have a visa, then you will have to go home. However, the Father has the right to keep the child in Australia and may not give you permission to take the child back to the UK. It sounds harsh, unfortunately it is the reality and it is best to be fully aware of consequences now. Are you and your boyfriend planning to become a legitimate couple or are you already one? Is the man actually separated from his wife or are they still together? It does make a difference with regard to possibly applying for a defacto visa etc. If you are not planning to be a couple, then I would suggest you have the baby in the UK. Edited September 6, 2015 by Sammy1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 I agree with Sammy1.Does the father of the child know you're pregnant?If so,what was his reaction?I guess if he's still married and you have the child,he's gonna have some explaining to do right?Sammy1 is right.If you have the child in Australia,the father of the child can stop you from leaving with the baby,should you wish to return to the UK.Have you spoken to your own family about this hon?If so are they supportive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraH Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 Thanks for your replies Sammy and Jacaranda. It is as I feared. Im not sure whether he has any intention of legally separating with his wife due to children and businesses together. Its a really **** situation for me, we have been in a loving relationship and for the most part we are a legitimate couple. But given that we would have to be legitimately together for a year to go for the de facto then I don't think it would happen. I haven't told my family yet. They are aware of my complicated relationship so it would only worry them :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy1 Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 (edited) Thanks for your replies Sammy and Jacaranda. It is as I feared. Im not sure whether he has any intention of legally separating with his wife due to children and businesses together. Its a really **** situation for me, we have been in a loving relationship and for the most part we are a legitimate couple. But given that we would have to be legitimately together for a year to go for the de facto then I don't think it would happen. I haven't told my family yet. They are aware of my complicated relationship so it would only worry them :-( Ok, well as he is still living with his wife then he is cheating on her and the both of you have no chance of applying for a partner visa. You are in the situation that you could have the baby here, but can you afford to do so? Remember medicare will not cover costs of scans and blood tests etc. Then once the baby is born, the nightmare scenario would be that you decide to go back to the UK or are forced to as you do not have a valid visa. The Father refuses for the child to go, you are put on a plane and the child stays here and that is that. It is a horrible scenario, so now is the time to start thinking carefully about what you want and to to also look after yourself. I am not sure if you are even allowed to have a baby here whilst on a student visa?? From what you said the married man is having a wonderful time and has no intention of leaving his poor wife. Go back to the UK and have the support of your family. Having a baby on the other side of the world, with no family support, is no picnic. Edited September 6, 2015 by Sammy1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraH Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 What are your thoughts i manage to receive my qualification and apply for the 187. I would imagine that I have to declare that I have a dependent. Will it be rejected on this basis? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 Laura, if you are quite close to your parents/family,would'nt it be best that they know?I would hate to think you are so far away in this situation,just relying on support from the childs Dad.Does the guy know you're pregnant?If so what was his reaction? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraH Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 I completely agree with you Sammy, it's a terrible situation but not so cut and dry. My partner has had to endure years of abuse but he will go through it to have access to his children. They mean more to him then anything else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy1 Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 (edited) I completely agree with you Sammy, it's a terrible situation but not so cut and dry. My partner has had to endure years of abuse but he will go through it to have access to his children. They mean more to him then anything else. Sorry, but that is an age old story. However, putting that aside you need to think logically for the future now and how to best prepare. Good luck. Edited September 6, 2015 by Sammy1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraH Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 He has expressed happiness that I have been able to fall pregnant due to health problems, so we are both pleased in that respect. But he has since got extremely stressed about the situation and how to handle it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraH Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 I'm checking out now but thank you for your advice and information. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy1 Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 I'm checking out now but thank you for your advice and information. Good luck and please do look after yourself, that is what is important now. Take care and let us know how you go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 Gee, you are in a dicey situation. FWIW you would be MUCH safer to return to UK to have your child and then rethink things from there. You do run serious risks and should talk to an agent about your best course of action but do it from a place of safety and security not the precarious position you seem to be rushing towards. Good luck and keep yourself and your child safe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 Laura,my gut feeling is for you to head back to the UK before the baby is born,while you still have a choice where you live.Once the baby is born,your "partner"might stop you leaving and you wont have any choice but to stay.Do you really want that?To be so far away from support?Please think this through very carefully hon.I don't obviously know you but I'm worried for you!:hug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemesis Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 I completely agree with you Sammy, it's a terrible situation but not so cut and dry. My partner has had to endure years of abuse but he will go through it to have access to his children. They mean more to him then anything else. If you have evidence that the relationship with his wife is over and you are his partner in all but legal eyes, then a de facto visa is not impossible Very difficult but not impossible. It would mean proving that his futreu is with you not his wife, and that he really is only there for the kids. Get some good professional help - maybe from George Lombard. Otherwise I wuld say, go home to have the baby, even if you then apply offshore to come back on one visa or another. If the baby is born here and is an Aussie citizen you may be getting into a minefield as far as removing it is concerned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blossom Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 The defacto visa states that the relationship must be exclusive, so if he's still living with his wife there is no chance. If if you have another year on your student visa, how are you going to get your qualifications and apply for the 187? Also, some occupations require some work experience at the end of the course before you apply. Do you think your employer would even sponsor you knowing you are going to have a baby? Although they have to give your maternity leave time off, you do have to go back full time until your 2 years is up (no part time). Personally I'd go back to England now. Ps, go to the right scan places and they WILL be covered on Medicare, as would bloods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 He may not even acknowledge paternity if you rush back to the UK. How are you going to prove paternity if you will be looking for child support from him ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 There is no chance of a partner visa as he is still with his wife. The only visa you could get as the mother of an Australian citizen is a parent visa, but for this the baby would need to sponsor you and of course a baby cannot sponsor you so father would need to be the baby's representative. But the parent visa is very expensive, takes a while to come through and I am not sure what you would do whilst you are waiting for it! If the father is not willing to leave the wife, I bet he wouldn't be willing to help you with a parent visa either. In which case you can't get it until the baby is of age. A 187 visa is not realistic, no employer in their right mind is going to sponsor a pregnant woman. You could very well end up without a visa for Australia, having to leave but being unable to take the baby with you. Although having said that, I am not sure the wife is going to accept the baby into her household if father does try to stop you. Nevertheless. I would not be taking the chance. This man has no respect for you or his wife, leave now, whilst you are pregnant and still can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Agree with all of the above. You would be far better to leave Australia whilst you are pregnant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina2 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 I completely agree with you Sammy, it's a terrible situation but not so cut and dry. My partner has had to endure years of abuse but he will go through it to have access to his children. They mean more to him then anything else. These days your boyfriend does not have to be married to his wife to have access to his children, the family court will make very sure of that. Be careful hon you are not being told fairy stories. Lots of threads on here discussing what happens if you have a child in Aus and want to return to the UK horror stories sorry to tell you. IF as you say he is so close to his children that he wont leave his wife I doubt very much he would allow you to return to the UK with his child if your relationship deteriates, and being here on your own with no support and a small child will be very difficult and if you decide to go to Family Court to try to get a relocation order to take your child back to the UK you are looking at Mega amounts of money. Even if you go home to have your child, if you return to Aus then the child having an Aus dad automatically comes under Aus family Court rules and if things don't work out with your boyfriend you will be in the same situation as you would have been if the child was born in Aus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 (edited) Agree with the others. Put yourself first here and return to the UK to have the baby. Honestly, having a baby is a tough thing to go through without decent support from friends and family. From pregnancy to birth and beyond. Remaining in Australia to do so in a precarious legal and visa postion would be daft. Whatever you may be feeling for the father, put that aside and look at it from a practical and legal point of view. Its not about him and what he wants. Sounds like he is having his cake and eating it too from what you have said so I'd be looking out for number 1 all the way here and he can fit in better later on once you are on steadier ground and the baby has arrived (if he is still involved). Also given all the legal and visa implications and pitfalls of staying in Australia to have the baby and then after, while not having a visa that will allow you to remain also, why on earth would you even consider putting you or your baby in that position. Given everything else that will happen with pregnancy and having a new born, the stress and worry of that alone would have me jumping on a flight back asap. Whatever is said by the father, that can all change in a heartbeat and you could be left with a one way ticket out of the country and no baby to bring with you. Your baby deserves to know its father yes, but you also have rights and I'd ensure you work those to their fullest now while you can, be selfish a bit and return to the UK and work out a way forward that legally ensures you will not be forced to hand your child over and leave them in Australia while you yourself cannot remain. Read some of the heartbreaking stories of parents fighting legal battles to remove their children from Aus while their partner wants the kids to remain. It happens, families are destroyed by it and no one comes out of it unscathed emotionally. Also I think there are cases where one parent no longer has a visa to remain in Aus so has to leave their children behind. Don't think it won't happen to you as it might. It happened to them. Edited September 7, 2015 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 He has expressed happiness that I have been able to fall pregnant due to health problems, so we are both pleased in that respect. But he has since got extremely stressed about the situation and how to handle it. I bet he is extremely stressed! At his wife finding out! Sounds like he is having his cake and eating it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Everyone seems to think the baby is more hers than his. Is that right ? Its okay for her to forcefully keep it in UK but not ok to be forcefully kept in Australia. A difficult situation, but the baby is both of theirs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Personally if it was me i wouldn't take the risk of possibly being seperated from my child. I'd be making sure to go back well before my due date if was me. As other said is highly doubtful you'll get a visa. Go home and please tell your family what's going on. Good luck and hugs for you. Do what's right for you and your baby. Take care Hun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Personally if it was me i wouldn't take the risk of possibly being seperated from my child. I'd be making sure to go back well before my due date if was me. As other said is highly doubtful you'll get a visa. Go home and please tell your family what's going on. Good luck and hugs for you. Do what's right for you and your baby. Take care Hun. So you would leave the man you are in love with ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.