CaptainC Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Enjoy your time with him in 72?days!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 I have an update! He's now half way through his trip and this is what he's told me. He is missing England and his family here, his brother is driving him mad, he has made a few friends but they all live too far away to see out of school so he has no one to socialise with locally, his dad is working long hours to make ends meet and is not at home much and when he is he's stressed and grumpy. He is counting down the days to how long it is until he comes home because he said "it's 72 days before I come home." He's also asked me if I've managed to get him back in to his old school yet as he's missing his friends. On the positive side, he goes to the park and the beach quite a lot, but even that has got a bit boring now! What is that old saying. If you love someone you set them free and if they come back they are yours forever... blah blah blah...I don't remember it exactly and I know it wasn't intended for parents and children but all the same. You are and always have been a great mother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 So good this is happening- he needed to find out and now when he comes back he will be a lot more settled I am sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the bottler Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 I am so pleased for you Rachel ... I cannot imagine what you have been through ... as so many have said .. you are a very good Mum ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Fingers crossed that all goes to plan in 72 days! (Less now!) - Gee, you are a great mum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KIRK AND CO Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Rachel I really feel for you. I wonder if part of his behaviour is linked to the fact that he doesn't want to leave you / be separated from you. So I get that he would want to be with his dad, and would push forward with plans to return to Oz... but now he is facing the reality that your not going to be going with him. Maybe, this was his way of re-unitig his family and his resentment is your not going with him / so its not going to happen.... I don't know and I'm guess - but if his behaviour has just changed, then it makes sense its linked to the move... and perhaps is less about him making the move and more about you not making the move.... A hard one - just continue to be there for him... well said it stands out a mile but I suppose it takes a outsider to notice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 My mum has always said that if you want your kids to come back to you, you have to love and let go. It takes bravery and a lot of faith to do that especially when they're as young as your son. Im glad your bravery and faith are being rewarded. You've also taught him a valuable lesson in risk taking and resilience which will be useful to him for the next stage in his life. Enjoy having him home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Great news, and I agree with the sentiments that you loved him enough to let him go and he knew that he could come home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjg Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I have an update! He's now half way through his trip and this is what he's told me. He is missing England and his family here, his brother is driving him mad, he has made a few friends but they all live too far away to see out of school so he has no one to socialise with locally, his dad is working long hours to make ends meet and is not at home much and when he is he's stressed and grumpy. He is counting down the days to how long it is until he comes home because he said "it's 72 days before I come home." He's also asked me if I've managed to get him back in to his old school yet as he's missing his friends. On the positive side, he goes to the park and the beach quite a lot, but even that has got a bit boring now! If he took it, make sure the ps4 comes back too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Tilley Posted October 14, 2015 Author Share Posted October 14, 2015 LOL, yes it did go with him in the end and I'm pretty sure it will come back again Thanks all of you for your support and kind words. Nothing is guaranteed yet but I have to admit it's looking hopeful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Tilley Posted October 31, 2015 Author Share Posted October 31, 2015 Latest update! He's missing home, he's had enough, he wants to come back :smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the bottler Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 [ATTACH=CONFIG]31824[/ATTACH] WhooooooHooooooo Rachel ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Tilley Posted October 31, 2015 Author Share Posted October 31, 2015 LOL, thank you Bottler, that's exactly how I'm feeling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Woo hoo!!!! Fantastic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Oh Wow Rachel,that is brilliant news hon!How is the Dad taking the news?Is your son home in time for Xmas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate Byrne Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Great news you must be delighted. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Country vic Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Is this seen as a 'victory' as you 'won'. He is coming back of course you are looking forward to seeing him, but he is getting to an age where he needs his autonomy to prepare him for when he is independent and ready to build a separate life. I hope you will both seek more independence and become less dependant on each other. We should encourage our children to seek their independence and give them the confidence to take risks and explore the possibilities and opportunities that are out there. We have all seen those rather sad men who never quite grew up and whose mother is still the most important person in his life, and the older women who has nothing but her kids to think about and live for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Yes I'm wondering whether any are seeing the irony now. Is there any empathy for the emotions that his Dad will now be going through. Probably Dad is experiencing all the emotions that Rachel went through. So as well as all the back slaps for Rachel, please spare a moment or two to consider how Dad is feeling. He will be go through what Rachel went through but perhaps without the happy ending. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 ........we have only heard the mothers story...... ........she is alone......the father has a new family..... ........and in an ideal world......their son has access to both.....easily..... ........but being on the opposite side of the world will and does create problems.... ........as for encouraging our children to be independent...... ........I'm sure we all want that......but also to know..... ........we are there for support......whatever their age..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy1 Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Yes I'm wondering whether any are seeing the irony now.Is there any empathy for the emotions that his Dad will now be going through. Probably Dad is experiencing all the emotions that Rachel went through. So as well as all the back slaps for Rachel, please spare a moment or two to consider how Dad is feeling. He will be go through what Rachel went through but perhaps without the happy ending. The son may well change his mind again once he is back in the UK - it happens for adults often enough. He is also old enough to find this forum and read it which is a worry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Tilley Posted November 1, 2015 Author Share Posted November 1, 2015 Yes, he may well change his mind again and I am prepared for that - I've always expected that once he turns 18 and leaves school he will go and live in Oz for good. No, I don't see this as a victory or that I have 'won', I am just happy that my son wants to come home. As for his dad and his dad's feelings? Well, he chose to live out of his son's life many years ago. He has not once corresponded with me over how our son is doing in Oz and has reduced the availability that my son can ring me. My son has told me he misses 'home' not me, and this experience was clearly explained to him that he was making a choice about the lifestyle he preferred, not the parent. He has not made any friends outside school, he prefers his school and friends in the UK, he is missing his cats and he is finding the weather in Oz too hot at the moment. He is not getting on with his brother, his dad is always telling him off and has smacked him twice and threatened to send him home twice but can't afford the fee to change the flight schedule. That's what my son has told me. I think my son has been given a great deal of independence at 12/13 years old and has had the chance to experience a life in Oz for himself. By his own decision, he prefers England and is coming home as planned at Christmas. All of our lives will resume as normal, but obviously some things will have changed as this has made him more grown up. His dad will still see him on the yearly visits, his dad will still be able to phone him whenever he wants to, that contact will not be severed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy1 Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Yes, he may well change his mind again and I am prepared for that - I've always expected that once he turns 18 and leaves school he will go and live in Oz for good. No, I don't see this as a victory or that I have 'won', I am just happy that my son wants to come home. As for his dad and his dad's feelings? Well, he chose to live out of his son's life many years ago. He has not once corresponded with me over how our son is doing in Oz and has reduced the availability that my son can ring me. My son has told me he misses 'home' not me, and this experience was clearly explained to him that he was making a choice about the lifestyle he preferred, not the parent. He has not made any friends outside school, he prefers his school and friends in the UK, he is missing his cats and he is finding the weather in Oz too hot at the moment. He is not getting on with his brother, his dad is always telling him off and has smacked him twice and threatened to send him home twice but can't afford the fee to change the flight schedule. That's what my son has told me. I think my son has been given a great deal of independence at 12/13 years old and has had the chance to experience a life in Oz for himself. By his own decision, he prefers England and is coming home as planned at Christmas. All of our lives will resume as normal, but obviously some things will have changed as this has made him more grown up. His dad will still see him on the yearly visits, his dad will still be able to phone him whenever he wants to, that contact will not be severed. He has told you that he does not miss you, but only misses home? Sounds like there is still a lot to work on. Good luck and I hope it all works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.