joanne Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 we are on a 189 (Still waiting for CO) my 7yr old is mixed race and is currently having a little trouble at school re his skin colour (kids saying his skin is brown and laughing) nothing we both cant handle atm but wanted to ask re this very very sensitive issue, i have no idea how to put this question out there in fear of offending someone, but i have to try and ask, so here goes .. has anyone experienced this kind of issue out in oz? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MovingtoTasmania Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I'm Asian. Nothing like that here anymore and half the White people have tans. He'll be okay I think so try not to worry x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Kids are going to be kids no matter where you are and bullying is rife in schools - some schools handle it better than others - but I wouldn't be surprised if he cops the same unfortunately. Kids will always home in on a weak point be it colour, size, hair colour, clumsiness, giftedness, learning problems, whatever. Try and bullyproofing him because he's going to get it through life, most of us are victims at one time or another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I am with Quoll sometimes why a child is bullied is nothing to do with what he/she looks like, might be something different entirely. School has always been a jungle and bullying has always been around. Its how we teach our children to handle it that matters. My daughter was an expert she just ignored anyone who said the wrong thing to her. If you worry about what people think then your children will as well and if they are meek then they may become the object of some bully who has no self confidence. Schools try and stop bullying but unless there is proof its very difficult. Also the parents of bullies tend to be bullies as well. Not all but a good majority. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 We lived in a very multi cultural area so my kids never noticed their friends' skin colour. In fact, when I look at their school class photos, they are practically the only "white" kids in the group :smile: So no, I've never personally witnessed any racism here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainR Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 My wife is originally from Asia and thus my kids are mixed race. We were concerned that they might experience racism at school, but despite living in a very white Middle Class suburbia, we have hadn't any issues yet. I would say take it up I with the school, if that fails and it continues to be an issue, then perhaps consider a different area/school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 My kids have friends who are different nationalities and it's never been a problem at school. My youngest got bullied early on as he autism, until he stuck up for himself and punched a couple of the bully's. He never had any problems after that. He's white BTW so kids get bullied for all sorts of reasons. Most people here have a tan too so mixed race wouldn't stand out as much. My youngests best friend is a Maori and I've never seen anyone treat him any different because of his colour. He was a very popular kid at school. Don't think you'll have a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Kids can be very mean to each other. So bullying can happen to anyone. I wouldn't call it a racist issue but bullying happens in schools and anyone can be targetted. If it occurs I would treat it as a bullying issue rather than a racism issue. Deal with it with teachers, headmaster and parents if needed. Australia is so multicultural these days in any classroom there will be a mix of nationalities, and kids are used to it so I don't think kids will be racist. Bogan adults on public transport maybe but not kids at school. But bullying can happen to anyone and shoould be nipped in the bud before it gets out of hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckleface Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 My family is a bit like a bag of licorice allsorts and none have mentioned suffering any kind of racism in Aust. My SIL (who is from South Korea) has mentioned on more than one occasion that she has been pleasantly surprised by the lack of racism here. As others have mentioned though - kids will be kids so nobody can guarantee your children won't be picked on for one thing or another any more than you can guarantee your children won't pick on someone at some stage as well. Of all the things you have to worry about when migrating I don't think racism should be on your list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
engaus Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 I grew up in Australia (in my early 20's now). Kids got bullied for ALL kinds of ridiculous reasons when I was at school - we had Sudaneise, Sri Lankens, Indians, Aboriginals, Chinese, Vietnamese, and I'm sure there were others. Some of them were bullied - but it wasn't because of the colour of their skin. It was for other non race related things. A Sri Lanken student was bullied because he was highly intelligent!!! best thing to do is to bring your kids up with the confidence to brush it off and ensure you are in a school that takes it seriously (my school was great - had a two strikes and your out policy). It will destroy their confidence if they grow up thinking they should be concerned by that people think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roberta2 Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 we are on a 189 (Still waiting for CO) my 7yr old is mixed race and is currently having a little trouble at school re his skin colour (kids saying his skin is brown and laughing) nothing we both cant handle atm but wanted to ask re this very very sensitive issue, i have no idea how to put this question out there in fear of offending someone, but i have to try and ask, so here goes .. has anyone experienced this kind of issue out in oz? My kids are half Chinese. My daughter, when about eight, when we lived in Sydney, told me that some kid had said "your father's a Ching Chong Chinaman". I asked her how she had replied. "Shut up, you black meatball". The other kid was from Fiji. I always encouraged my kids to stand up to bullies. My daughter was a motormouth, and never had any trouble. In fact, when she left primary school and her brother was about to start there, she went around the school telling the other kids she would be back if anyone bullied her baby brother. Her brother, while no motormouth, did karate and he never had any trouble either, even when we went to Japan when he was eleven. He told me not to worry, when he started at a Japanese middle school, was very small for his age, and was the only non Japanese in the school- because, he said, the Japanese kids didn't know how to fight. Of course, he needed to flatten at least one before everyone else got the message. I always told him never start a fight, but make sure you finish one. On the other hand, we had a Jewish friend in Sydney whose son was quite timid. He was bullied a lot (not sure if it had anything to do with being Jewish, and he was "white") and his mother complained to the school a lot. All that did was to make it worse. Bullies are cowards, and your kids will be bullied if they don't learn to stand up to them - either verbally or physically. Of course, schools do take it more seriously now, but bullied kids are often too frightened to tell their parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joanne Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 yes i tell my son to ''ignore'' but hes a sensitive creature and takes it all to heart, he gets hit..he wont hit back, hes the tallest and broadest which is very frustrating...but he is what he is and i love that in him his father is 6ft 6 and he will be the same (the rate he is growing) a gentle giant...with a caring loving nature.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joanne Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 My kids are half Chinese. My daughter, when about eight, when we lived in Sydney, told me that some kid had said "your father's a Ching Chong Chinaman". I asked her how she had replied. "Shut up, you black meatball". The other kid was from Fiji. I always encouraged my kids to stand up to bullies. My daughter was a motormouth, and never had any trouble. In fact, when she left primary school and her brother was about to start there, she went around the school telling the other kids she would be back if anyone bullied her baby brother. Her brother, while no motormouth, did karate and he never had any trouble either, even when we went to Japan when he was eleven. He told me not to worry, when he started at a Japanese middle school, was very small for his age, and was the only non Japanese in the school- because, he said, the Japanese kids didn't know how to fight. Of course, he needed to flatten at least one before everyone else got the message. I always told him never start a fight, but make sure you finish one. On the other hand, we had a Jewish friend in Sydney whose son was quite timid. He was bullied a lot (not sure if it had anything to do with being Jewish, and he was "white") and his mother complained to the school a lot. All that did was to make it worse. Bullies are cowards, and your kids will be bullied if they don't learn to stand up to them - either verbally or physically. Of course, schools do take it more seriously now, but bullied kids are often too frightened to tell their parents. thats great that your kids can be like that i was a kid that punched boys in the face if they started on me, (very ashamed of this btw) but my son is nothing like me at all, hes very sensitive, i have tried so many times to help him, i have seen kids slap him around the face, pull his hair, kick punch him etc and i go steaming over and insist he hits them back! he just wont, hes very tall and broad for a 7 year old but it is just not in his nature to be like that, hes said to me ''i dont want to hit as its not nice'' can you imagine how frustrating this is altho saying this i took him to thailand last xmas...in a thai boxing bar he loved getting in the ring boxing russian boys older then him, didnt win but had a good go so i know he can handle himself for sure...he will be over 6ft like his father and very broad but if its not in him to fight its just not in him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 I think it's all very well saying toughen him up to fight back but the school system doesn't allow for that. My son was bullied both in the UK and in his first school here in WA. His crime was that he is intelligent and enjoys schoolwork, not sporty at all. He's like your son he was always the tallest and the broadest, at 13 he is nearly 6 foot and shaves. Our son up to the time he started in his new private school was tormented every day, even getting told by one kid, if he didn't stop being so smart he'd get a stool smashed over his head. He finally did stick up for himself and punched the kid after he had endured an hour of torment one lunchtime. Yeah that worked he was immediately suspended and his bullies had nothing done as they hadn't been physical. We removed him from the school and his new one is amazing full of very similar kids to him with amazing pastoral care. So although the above advise sounds good on paper I don't think any of it is very recent. If they hit back the likely hood is they'll get punished. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roberta2 Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 I think it's all very well saying toughen him up to fight back but the school system doesn't allow for that. My son was bullied both in the UK and in his first school here in WA. His crime was that he is intelligent and enjoys schoolwork, not sporty at all. He's like your son he was always the tallest and the broadest, at 13 he is nearly 6 foot and shaves. Our son up to the time he started in his new private school was tormented every day, even getting told by one kid, if he didn't stop being so smart he'd get a stool smashed over his head. He finally did stick up for himself and punched the kid after he had endured an hour of torment one lunchtime. Yeah that worked he was immediately suspended and his bullies had nothing done as they hadn't been physical. We removed him from the school and his new one is amazing full of very similar kids to him with amazing pastoral care. So although the above advise sounds good on paper I don't think any of it is very recent. If they hit back the likely hood is they'll get punished. Your son is 7, an ideal time to get him into some kind of martial arts. It doesn't really matter what kind. It will help build his confidence. It is basically all a matter of psychology. Packs of kids are like packs of dogs. My little female dog dominates my big male dog, because in his head, and hers, she is the big dog and he is the little dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 I think it's all very well saying toughen him up to fight back but the school system doesn't allow for that. My son was bullied both in the UK and in his first school here in WA. His crime was that he is intelligent and enjoys schoolwork, not sporty at all. He's like your son he was always the tallest and the broadest, at 13 he is nearly 6 foot and shaves. Our son up to the time he started in his new private school was tormented every day, even getting told by one kid, if he didn't stop being so smart he'd get a stool smashed over his head. He finally did stick up for himself and punched the kid after he had endured an hour of torment one lunchtime. Yeah that worked he was immediately suspended and his bullies had nothing done as they hadn't been physical. We removed him from the school and his new one is amazing full of very similar kids to him with amazing pastoral care. So although the above advise sounds good on paper I don't think any of it is very recent. If they hit back the likely hood is they'll get punished. Must depend on the school QSS. The teachers knew my youngster had autism and knew the kids that bullied him. When he eventually retaliated and punched the bullies he got suspended but so did the bullies. My wife felt a bit guilty as she knew the parents of the bullies and rang them. One of them was very supportive and said they'd told their youngster to lay off ours and it served him right. The other one wasn't so supportive and was quite angry about her son being suspended. Neither kid bullied him again though and one of them became one of his best friends later on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MovingtoTasmania Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 I can understand all viewpoints here but I don't think encouraging children to hit each other is the way forward. Would you hit an adult who said something you didn't like? Bullying is is a problem in practically every country around the world. However, when does a child stop being the victim and become the bully? It it is up to parents and school to work together to stamp out bullying, to ensure that children understand what is and isn't acceptable behaviour. Hitting the bully doesn't make the bully understand what they have done is wrong, it simply teaches them that there may be an unpleasant consequence to their actions/words. Dependent on on the age of the child concerned, I would perhaps keep a diary and speak to the local neighbourhood police team or Rangers and ask them to perhaps arrange to go to school and talk about bullying in assembly and also the legal ramifications of bullying as it is against the law to call someone racist names. Just as assaulting someone physically is against the law. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Must depend on the school QSS. The teachers knew my youngster had autism and knew the kids that bullied him. When he eventually retaliated and punched the bullies he got suspended but so did the bullies. My wife felt a bit guilty as she knew the parents of the bullies and rang them. One of them was very supportive and said they'd told their youngster to lay off ours and it served him right. The other one wasn't so supportive and was quite angry about her son being suspended. Neither kid bullied him again though and one of them became one of his best friends later on. But the point I was making Paul was how long ago was this? They are so trying hard to be seen to be doing the right thing now that there is no two strikes your out. Any form of violence and they will be suspended. Even if the other nasty little oik deserved it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 I'm with @MovingtoTasmania on this issue. Responding with greater violence is not the best solution. Just means whoever is bigger and stronger wins the argument, and not every bullied child is able to respond that way anyway. And yes the risk is you turn the bullied child into a bully of other kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyCoyles Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Our son is in grade 2 (P3) in a very multicultural school, he sees no difference in anyone but has mentioned a few times that one or two of his friends of the same age don't play with other kids because of their skin color and that he didn't understand why. Race isn't mentioned in our house as it makes no difference to us and that's the way our kids think as well. I guess all kids pick up on what they hear at home and will act like their parents do in regards to all matters be it race, intelligence, height, weight or looks! As previously said bully's will find something to target and wouldn't be anymore concerned with race than being overly tall or short. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Your son is 7, an ideal time to get him into some kind of martial arts. It doesn't really matter what kind. It will help build his confidence. It is basically all a matter of psychology. Packs of kids are like packs of dogs. My little female dog dominates my big male dog, because in his head, and hers, she is the big dog and he is the little dog. Yup, that's the point exactly - it's called vicarious protection! It doesn't mean that your little one is going to launch his jujitsu moves on anyone who has a go at him, it's his secret knowledge that he COULD if he chose to! I'm a great fan of martial arts for the potential victims of bullying for a range of reasons - one is that it physically strengthens their core so they stand taller and prouder (and that alone makes them less of a target). Then they learn ways to deflect or defend if push comes to shove and even if they never use those strategies, they know them. Of course there are some little devils who think it's cool to go out and kick and punch but once word gets back to their martial arts teacher they are in a whole world of pain! There are excellent articles by Andrew Fuller on Bullyproofing your kids - he's great to listen to! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Yup, that's the point exactly - it's called vicarious protection! It doesn't mean that your little one is going to launch his jujitsu moves on anyone who has a go at him, it's his secret knowledge that he COULD if he chose to! I'm a great fan of martial arts for the potential victims of bullying for a range of reasons - one is that it physically strengthens their core so they stand taller and prouder (and that alone makes them less of a target). Then they learn ways to deflect or defend if push comes to shove and even if they never use those strategies, they know them. Of course there are some little devils who think it's cool to go out and kick and punch but once word gets back to their martial arts teacher they are in a whole world of pain! There are excellent articles by Andrew Fuller on Bullyproofing your kids - he's great to listen to! Well experts do do not know everything. My son was a blue belt in Tae Kwon Do and was studying Kobodu in the UK, and Tae Kwon Do here when it happened to him. Words hurt whatever martial arts you have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Well experts do do not know everything. My son was a blue belt in Tae Kwon Do and was studying Kobodu in the UK, and Tae Kwon Do here when it happened to him. Words hurt whatever martial arts you have. And just imagine how much worse it would have been without the martial arts trainng! Sure, words hurt (bright, short, fat girl here, I know the words!), dealing with those hurts can be dealt with using CBT strategies but there is evidence that bullies can pick victims by their demeanour and carriage so having that strong core helps kids look less vulnerable. You need to have a load of tools in your bullyproofing toolbox - and being the parent of a bullied child breaks your heart, I know that too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Martial arts training! For goodness sake! I would be surprised if the 7 year old needs anything like that here and I am sure he will just blend in because there are so very many races here. That's Australia. It is nothing like Warrington. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roberta2 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Well, I was very glad that my son had done a few years' karate training (which came about almost by accident because he had a friend who went to karate) when we went to Japan. Bullying is endemic in Japan, to an extent that few outsiders understand. Parents are quite fearful when their kids go to Middle School. Kids get picked on for all kinds of reasons. My father was a redhead, and was picked on for that. To say that I am "encouraging kids to hit one another" is absurd. That's like agreeing with Hitler that the Poles "caused" the second world war - by having the temerity to resist the German (and Soviet) invasion! It's obvious too that some school antibullying tactics are backfiring, by establishing exactly that kind of moral equivalence between perpetrator and victim. The Lion may lie down with the Lamb some day. Until then, best to encourage our kids to avoid acquiring a victim mentality, because Helicopter Mummy and Helicopter Daddy will not be there all the time - and bullies are notoriously sneaky and good at picking their targets when opportunity arises. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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