UK or Australia - years after returning, weighing the scales....

[Nzogbia]

Hello everyone,

 

Just thought I'd give people a quick update about my own experiences/impressions since moving back to the UK (Newcastle upon Tyne). I left Melbourne and returned home to the UK in early 2012 having spent 6 years in Oz, and having gained my Australian citizenship (for which I was very proud and grateful).

 

I made a very brief return to Oz for a special occasion in late 2012, but other than that I have been UK bound. So, now it is nearly 2015. What has changed? Well, first off, I returned to Newcastle in 2012 for no particular reason - but rather because of a feeling I had...... that I SHOULD, somehow. Can't explain it any more than that. Anyway, the week after I got 'home' I met a local girl, half Italian, absolutely gorgeous. We got married this summer. Happy Days! :-)

 

I've really enjoyed being back in Newcastle, with family and familiar/long standing friends. I think that connection never went away and maybe drew me back to old Blighty. However, despite knowing Australia's faults I always believed it was a great country and I was very privileged to become a citizen.

 

All of the pro's and cons that I wrote about a few years ago on here still stand up, but yep, no doubt, Australia (and other countries I'm sure) has a spoiling effect on you. I noticed that a lot of my mates here in Newcastle have changed. Yes, we're all getting older, but they all seem so much more world weary, and downbeat with the pressures of just getting by. Life has always been a bit of a struggle to some extent, but now the UK just seems SO much more cut throat. People (ie: both parents) seem to work themselves to death just to get by, and there is no job security.

 

Quite a few of the Europeans I know who left Australia since 2010 have now gone back again. Part of me envies them. I know the jobs market has tightened in Oz, but still, I always felt that an air of positivity still prevailed - that everyone I knew did their job and then really enjoyed having a few cold ones after work and talking about sport/plans for weekend breaks/meeting up etc.... That being outdoors was a joy, and you could do it with family and kids and really feel the space around you.

 

Ok, so now I'm sounding like some sun-dappled Hovis advert and need to snap back to reality.... yep, I know the sausages were no good, the political debate puerile, the supermarkets rubbish, vested interests in control of everything, you couldn't travel anywhere of any great cultural difference in a reasonable amount of time, AND the biscuits just weren't right.....but by God, did I enjoy wearing shorts and T shirts and kicking down the streets of Richmond, Prahran and St Kilda, drinking ice cold beer and feeling 'light' and 'alive'. You never, or very rarely, feel that in the UK. It's a stodgy existence. Of course Britain is very much better at some things, but on balance, which is better? For me, Australia is better.

 

We've been thinking we may start a family in the next year or two, and I've been thinking seriously, for any kid, which would be the better environment? If the grown up kid feels this way, I'm guessing it may be no competition for any real child. Of course, I'll have to get the missus to agree to any Oz move - which may prove a little tricky....hmmmm

 

Boy do I miss Australia though. I really do. All that said, remember - this is just my opinion. For some, I'm sure Britain delivers on every level and is right for them and their family.

 

Peace and happy living - wherever you are!

 

ps: maybe just because I'm not there now, but Melbourne always seemed a little 'magical'. Britain doesn't have that 'magic' for me any more.

[thinker78]

Hello everyone,

 

Just thought I'd give people a quick update about my own experiences/impressions since moving back to the UK (Newcastle upon Tyne). I left Melbourne and returned home to the UK in early 2012 having spent 6 years in Oz, and having gained my Australian citizenship (for which I was very proud and grateful).

 

I made a very brief return to Oz for a special occasion in late 2012, but other than that I have been UK bound. So, now it is nearly 2015. What has changed? Well, first off, I returned to Newcastle in 2012 for no particular reason - but rather because of a feeling I had...... that I SHOULD, somehow. Can't explain it any more than that. Anyway, the week after I got 'home' I met a local girl, half Italian, absolutely gorgeous. We got married this summer. Happy Days! :-)

 

I've really enjoyed being back in Newcastle, with family and familiar/long standing friends. I think that connection never went away and maybe drew me back to old Blighty. However, despite knowing Australia's faults I always believed it was a great country and I was very privileged to become a citizen.

 

All of the pro's and cons that I wrote about a few years ago on here still stand up, but yep, no doubt, Australia (and other countries I'm sure) has a spoiling effect on you. I noticed that a lot of my mates here in Newcastle have changed. Yes, we're all getting older, but they all seem so much more world weary, and downbeat with the pressures of just getting by. Life has always been a bit of a struggle to some extent, but now the UK just seems SO much more cut throat. People (ie: both parents) seem to work themselves to death just to get by, and there is no job security.

 

Quite a few of the Europeans I know who left Australia since 2010 have now gone back again. Part of me envies them. I know the jobs market has tightened in Oz, but still, I always felt that an air of positivity still prevailed - that everyone I knew did their job and then really enjoyed having a few cold ones after work and talking about sport/plans for weekend breaks/meeting up etc.... That being outdoors was a joy, and you could do it with family and kids and really feel the space around you.

 

Ok, so now I'm sounding like some sun-dappled Hovis advert and need to snap back to reality.... yep, I know the sausages were no good, the political debate puerile, the supermarkets rubbish, vested interests in control of everything, you couldn't travel anywhere of any great cultural difference in a reasonable amount of time, AND the biscuits just weren't right.....but by God, did I enjoy wearing shorts and T shirts and kicking down the streets of Richmond, Prahran and St Kilda, drinking ice cold beer and feeling 'light' and 'alive'. You never, or very rarely, feel that in the UK. It's a stodgy existence. Of course Britain is very much better at some things, but on balance, which is better? For me, Australia is better.

 

We've been thinking we may start a family in the next year or two, and I've been thinking seriously, for any kid, which would be the better environment? If the grown up kid feels this way, I'm guessing it may be no competition for any real child. Of course, I'll have to get the missus to agree to any Oz move - which may prove a little tricky....hmmmm

 

Boy do I miss Australia though. I really do. All that said, remember - this is just my opinion. For some, I'm sure Britain delivers on every level and is right for them and their family.

 

Peace and happy living - wherever you are!

 

ps: maybe just because I'm not there now, but Melbourne always seemed a little 'magical'. Britain doesn't have that 'magic' for me any more.

 

 

 

You are right in many ways, but if i may, add my humble opinion. I think sometimes Australia is kept 'upbeat' and 'light' because the media is full of local drivel and we are kept in the dark about world events and are constantly told how amazing Australia is. Quite the opposite happens in the rest of the world....esp the UK. Better to be a happy pig than an unhappy Socrates? Not sure.....

And also, the human condition (certainly after being on this forum for a number of years) appears to be full of 'what if's' and longings for what we don't have....I speak from experience. One of the biggest lessons of any migrant is to let go, lay to rest and to live where you are, wherever that may be.

Lastly, before having kids thousands of miles away from those you love; think on. It's no better for kids, sure, weather wise sometimes, but even then it has it's drawbacks. Again, kids are kids wherever mum and dad are, or whoever loves them and raises them.

Actually, lastly, again, Australia is brilliant at some stuff, but it's certainly not an easy existence here anymore. Financially, it's struggle street for most average families. both parents having to work to get by. If you ask me, the world is nuts, but be happy where you are. I agree with many of your points but i think it's rose tinted (and Ive worn those same specs myself)

[fourcorners]

Agree with Thinkers points above. We have ping-ponged and each time we get rose-tinted spectacles! We're about to move back to the UK again after the recent arrival of our first child. One thing I would say is, if you're thinking about starting a family, you can't put a price on having nearby family support. It has been incredibly hard doing this on our own (I think it also raises the risk of post-natal depression but don't have research to back this up). Last weekend my cousin came to stay for a few days who is great with babies. It made me realise what we have missed out on in terms of support from family. It was great, we had our first meal out sans baby since said baby arrived 8 months ago! So for 'any real child' as you put it, I would say the choice IS simple - it's around extended family. And it's already too hot, can't go outside for long periods with a baby when its this hot, so effectively stuck indoors for the next 3 months.

 

The air of positivity where I live has definitely gone. We're in a large mining town and about a dozen business have closed in the last few weeks. People are quitting their jobs because of negativity in the workplace even if they don't have a job to go to. People are leaving town and their livelihoods to try and find something more stable, often moving back to their home towns.

 

If you want further adventure, why not try somewhere new - how about Italy?

[thinker78]

Agree with Thinkers points above. We have ping-ponged and each time we get rose-tinted spectacles! We're about to move back to the UK again after the recent arrival of our first child. One thing I would say is, if you're thinking about starting a family, you can't put a price on having nearby family support. It has been incredibly hard doing this on our own (I think it also raises the risk of post-natal depression but don't have research to back this up). Last weekend my cousin came to stay for a few days who is great with babies. It made me realise what we have missed out on in terms of support from family. It was great, we had our first meal out sans baby since said baby arrived 8 months ago! So for 'any real child' as you put it, I would say the choice IS simple - it's around extended family. And it's already too hot, can't go outside for long periods with a baby when its this hot, so effectively stuck indoors for the next 3 months.

 

The air of positivity where I live has definitely gone. We're in a large mining town and about a dozen business have closed in the last few weeks. People are quitting their jobs because of negativity in the workplace even if they don't have a job to go to. People are leaving town and their livelihoods to try and find something more stable, often moving back to their home towns.

 

If you want further adventure, why not try somewhere new - how about Italy?

 

 

Hi Four corners. Yes, it's not easy having a baby here- I wish I had known before we embarked upon it. We too are heading back as it's just too heartbreaking for my now 5 year old to have no family here, and now that they can actually express that longing- it's a no brainer.

[Scrutineer]

I know the sausages were no good

 

This is critical though.

[Peach]

I love the way people talk in absolutes; as if their experiences are the same for everybody. To give some balance, we moved here when my daughter was 11 weeks and my son 3 years old and both have thrived here. Stories of CIA torture are front page news today amongst countless other stories of misery, murder and destruction around the globe, so I don't follow the 'kept in the dark about world events' comments. Similarly, I've never been told 'what a wonderful place Australia is'. Let me say I have eaten good sausages in Australia too, but I'll concede it was a search to find them.

[Aunt Agatha]

Really interesting to read your post @Nzogbia, I'm a Geordie returning to the UK too. Initially to Geordieland, then to Yorkshire probably.

 

I wonder if your friends seem a bit beaten-down because they haven't experienced the change you have - maybe if you had stayed in Australia for 30 years you'd have the same vibe? I'm not sure, just wondering if its the lack of variety rather than the place which causes that worn-down feeling, a cgange is as good as a rest and all that jazz. In my experience of Australia (been here 11 years) job security is lessening all the time and most families I know have to have both parents working to make ends meet - seems to be the same the world over. I know what you mean about wearing shorts, strolling down the street and feeling "light" though, I think for a lot of ex-pats there is still a small sense that they are on holiday (even for me after all this time) which puts a spring in your step!

 

Congratulations on your marriage by the way!

[Diane]

...because the media is full of local drivel and we are kept in the dark about world events and are constantly told how amazing Australia is..

 

This made me smile - my parents have just gone home after a month staying with us here and spent a lot of the time searching through all the Foxtel and Digital channels trying to find some "World News"! Mind you, they did complain that "no-one has mentioned anything about the weather or what's happening in the UK at all" to which we pointed out, why would anyone here really care...? We've not heard much here about Ebola recently, is it still happening?

[Guest]

No need for sausages when the steak is so cheap

[thinker78]

I never implied children can't thrive here. That would be ridiculous. Mine is thriving, but that's because she has great parents. Wherever we live, that will always be the case. She will thrive just as easily in the UK or wherever. There are no absolutes. Only some of us who have ping ponged several times feel passionately that people go through some of the same emotions ie wondering, longing, questioning....

[Scrutineer]

The education system in the UK is real mess though - that's worth considering. I want my kids to be with their family more (meaning move to UK) but Australia is with no doubt a more equitable society with a better education system, and both these things are backed by objective facts, before we go down that route. So this is why so many of us are left in such a difficult position, especially those of us with kids to think about.

[ramot]

This made me smile - my parents have just gone home after a month staying with us here and spent a lot of the time searching through all the Foxtel and Digital channels trying to find some "World News"! Mind you, they did complain that "no-one has mentioned anything about the weather or what's happening in the UK at all" to which we pointed out, why would anyone here really care...? We've not heard much here about Ebola recently, is it still happening?

 

Find al jazera (sorry not sure of spelling) news good and the German news (in English) also good. SBS and ABC ok, and UK news on Foxtel plus BBC news.

really don't find it too much of a problem, and you can read UK papers on line.

[Quoll]

I never implied children can't thrive here. That would be ridiculous. Mine is thriving, but that's because she has great parents. Wherever we live, that will always be the case. She will thrive just as easily in the UK or wherever. There are no absolutes. Only some of us who have ping ponged several times feel passionately that people go through some of the same emotions ie wondering, longing, questioning....

 

Absolutely - it's the parents not the place that helps kids to thrive. Both of mine grew up in Australia without extended family nearby and both, now adult men, have partnered with girls from huge local extended families and both have openly and spontaneously spoken of their regret that our little family is so isolated from our wider extended family - physically not emotionally. And as both of them are (like us) fiercely independent and, sadly a little too selfish even by my lights that was a surprise to me - somewhat sad, too, I must admit.

 

Bringing up up kids is hard enough when you do it but when you have none of your mob around it is ten times harder. As a grandparent now with grandkids on both sides of the world I'm getting a big dose of what I put my parents through and it sucks! Skype is all good and well but I defy anyone to hold a hand or get a cuddle on Skype! And I'm a hard hearted Hannah - I can't imagine how awful it must be for someone who isn't so hard hearted and is engaged with grandkids on a regular basis!

 

I think that having been adventurers and seeing and living in foreign places makes us consider the mundane as boring and when we are bored the need to move on again raises its ugly head. Any place becomes mundane when it stops being an adventure and if you're fortunate you can keep on getting your adventure fix but eventually real life catches up with you and you have to make do with the mundane wherever you end up. The thought of ending my days in Aus fills me with dread (although I no longer throw up at the prospect - bonus!!) although for many years (more than most migrants have yet accrued) I was perfectly happy - it was an adventure, we were doing ok but then the boring mundane compounded with the feeling of being an alien became overwhelming and I needed another adventure and I've been fortunate to have been granted one. If you need the adventure and are prepared for the downsides then I guess you go for it and evaluate as you go along. One first world country is going to be just as good as any other.

[Jacaranda]

You have to be where you "think"you'll be happiest. Think on a deeper level,what really will make you happy.The thing is though,no one can have everything.You stay in the UK,you will probably always have that horrible "what if"syndrome,you head for Oz,start a family and.....you will miss that family support. You really need to discuss this with your OH before anything else,because if she doesn't want this move,you'll be wasting your time even considering it any further.

Fwiw,my kids are aussies.We moved to the UK a few years ago so they have spent half their lives in two different countries.Neither is better imho.You could argue the weather?No point because,atleast where we lived in Sth Aust,woodburner was chugging 24/7 from mid autumn to early spring,then having to stay inside a large part of the day during summer.Education wise?Someone mentioned its a mess in the UK. In what way?Both my kids have done very very well for themselves,as have all their british friends and we definitely didn't experience any problems.In fact just this week,the youngest (who graduated in Law with honours a year ago)has just scored herself a top job in law.She had left uni with a great job to go to (which wasn't law related),worked her way up in that company for a year and really now the world is her oyster!so no I don't agree with the education being a mess.

Your friends are weary?Finding it hard to manage? I think as someone else mentioned that's a world over thing,not specific to the UK.My nephew,an aussie living in Sth Aust is married.Kid free atm but he and his wife have to sell their house to afford to be able to start a family.Both have good jobs,but things are just too tight so they have to downsize (they only have an average 3 bed home).Work out for yourselves what is actually reality and whats delusion.

[ramot]

Agree it's the parents not the place, we moved all the time while ours were growing up as my husband was in the RAF and we moved at least every 2 years, and although in the UK ours grew up with very little contact with grand parents because we never lived any where near them, so it was probably a few weekends a year, and certainly didn't have an extended family. We then went overseas as expats. Can honestly say we never had family back up, it just wasn't there, so just because you live in UK doesn't automatically mean you have family back up, probably great if you do, and it would make emigrating perhaps a more difficult decision, but you can survive without it.

I have been a nomad all my life, as my father was in the Army, and I lived in Germany and UK as a child, went to Africa to work on my own, so I have always been very in dependant.

12 years ago we decided to retire to Australia, no family here at that time, but were up for another experience, we love it here and at the moment have no desire to return to UK, even though my only grandchildren are there, and although like other posters previously I was always up for the next move, I now love the mundane, and love feeling settled, perhaps I have grown up at last, hope not!!!

our three adult children have coped with all the moves, doesn't seem to have harmed them in any way, they don't miss what they never had.

you make your own decisions about your life at various stages of your life, hope they are the right ones, and try not to live a life of regrets or if only.

[mygirlies]

I am currently doing it completely alone. No family, partner left when she was 6 months... I am sole parent and carer. I don't have friends here either. My 'me' life is completely on hold as its 24/7 for me. I can't even remember what it feels like to be me and do me things anymore. Whats more my daughter has multiple disabilities. We are even having to delay schooling as she is too far behind is all aspects. So another year of this struggle! Some days are hell. I have no support whatsoever, no breaks at all. Haven't showered alone in years, my child lacks any dependance. But some days are just magical. The bond we have is like no other.

 

My point is.... it is doable. Its hard yes and exhausting. But if we keep thinking of what we don't have...we will always feel let down. And for the most part depressed. Most of the time in these situations you have a partner to help. Make sure you are thankful for those things, the little support you do have.

For me, well, of course naturally I silently curse my daughters father. But I get on with it. This is my life. I choose to move to this country and although that itself has been extremely testing at times, I am making the best with what I have got.

 

Sometimes I feel down about the lack of family (none) that surround my daughter. She literally only has me in her life. And I only have her. That is extremely sad. But if I can give her the best I can, endless love and time. This really is all that matters. Extra family, support is a bonus but not essential. I've not had a choice in this and if I have learnt one thing its that we are extremely strong, and we can achieve and cope in the most difficult of situations.

[Nzogbia]

Hey Thinker78, thanks for adding your thoughts. It certainly took me back to some of my old PIO mini-rants when I was living in Melbourne (oh the shame). I checked back through them and yep, they pretty much match your own sentiments perfectly! I was, like you, particularly horrified by the constant stream of pollyan-ish, how good is that (everything), force fed foi grois unquestioning line of the Australian media, which dumbed down the level of debate on everything (or simply ignored significant world events). Is ignorance bliss? It's a tricky one. Between the UK and Australia it's one end of the spectrum to the other. The news here is truly a never ending tide of misery, which bombards you on every single news channel. I think the news outlets here forget that most people in the UK are living with most of these 'issues' on a daily basis and would actually quite like a departure from the miseryfest. A few good news stories would be nice now and again, to remind you that it's ok to be happy and really, that's what we should all hope for. On the other hand, the Australian approach of the 4th estate simply blanking out anything which may be seen as unpatriotic, self critical, negatively affecting property prices (aka vested interests) or generally anything that might make the populus question how things are done, in favour of a 'news' story about a brave Austrayian fire crew fishing a pensioner's cat from a tree "How good was that?!" and telling everyone how happy they should be because the sun is shining (again).

 

Well, which system is best? Tricky huh? :-)

[Nzogbia]

Thanks Aunt Agatha - I never considered that. You may very well be right. The other aspect is, for north east people, working away from home during the week is just a way of life, and has been for years. I think it's easier to do this in your twenties but a lot harder to keep doing it in your 40's especially if you have a young-ish family.

 

Good luck with the move back. Newcastle still has its old charms, but is still entrenched in its old problems.

 

Sometimes things happen for a reason. I count myself the luckiest fella alive that I moved back here on a 'hunch' and met my amazing wife. Good luck has to land on you eventually!

[Perthbum]

The education system in the UK is real mess though - that's worth considering. I want my kids to be with their family more (meaning move to UK) but Australia is with no doubt a more equitable society with a better education system, and both these things are backed by objective facts, before we go down that route. So this is why so many of us are left in such a difficult position, especially those of us with kids to think about.

Why told you that? heard many time on here that it is far better than the state schools in oz and that is why most people send their kids private in oz.

[bunbury61]

You have to be where you "think"you'll be happiest. Think on a deeper level,what really will make you happy.The thing is though,no one can have everything.You stay in the UK,you will probably always have that horrible "what if"syndrome,you head for Oz,start a family and.....you will miss that family support. You really need to discuss this with your OH before anything else,because if she doesn't want this move,you'll be wasting your time even considering it any further.

Fwiw,my kids are aussies.We moved to the UK a few years ago so they have spent half their lives in two different countries.Neither is better imho.You could argue the weather?No point because,atleast where we lived in Sth Aust,woodburner was chugging 24/7 from mid autumn to early spring,then having to stay inside a large part of the day during summer.Education wise?Someone mentioned its a mess in the UK. In what way?Both my kids have done very very well for themselves,as have all their british friends and we definitely didn't experience any problems.In fact just this week,the youngest (who graduated in Law with honours a year ago)has just scored herself a top job in law.She had left uni with a great job to go to (which wasn't law related),worked her way up in that company for a year and really now the world is her oyster!so no I don't agree with the education being a mess.

Your friends are weary?Finding it hard to manage? I think as someone else mentioned that's a world over thing,not specific to the UK.My nephew,an aussie living in Sth Aust is married.Kid free atm but he and his wife have to sell their house to afford to be able to start a family.Both have good jobs,but things are just too tight so they have to downsize (they only have an average 3 bed home).Work out for yourselves what is actually reality and whats delusion.

 

Bunbury here ...just poking my nose in ,for what its worth ...its a trade off ......my families kids in oz have all done really well , they did it without extended family ,is that a plus or a minus ? ..... .....my eldest left a great school here in the uk with decent grades ( not that it bothers me too much )...in the middle of a recession , that worried me , now at age 22 she has landed a fantastic job ...a job for life ( worry over ) ...the youngest is at the same fantastic school ...but the truth is , its not getting any easier in the u.k or oz .....Australia relies heavily on asia , and china is dipping , and japan is in trouble ......we only have that economic colossus Europe to deal with .

my oz memories have been enhanced this week ....a great aussie mate of mine has just died .....we had some great times ...boy was I upset

I worry for my kids future in terms of material items , owning a house etc ......but they are bloody happy , generally contented , and happy with their lot ....so I should be bloody thankful....on top of that , they take after their mother , and they are a picture ...

I walked through the local shopping centre the other week with the 2 girls ...I could see all the lads having a sly look ....ive got my hands full

[bunbury61]

Why told you that? heard many time on here that it is far better than the state schools in oz and that is why most people send their kids private in oz.

 

Depends where you live in the u.k ..PB ,,its that simple

[Marisawright]

I think that having been adventurers and seeing and living in foreign places makes us consider the mundane as boring and when we are bored the need to move on again raises its ugly head. Any place becomes mundane when it stops being an adventure and if you're fortunate you can keep on getting your adventure fix but eventually real life catches up with you and you have to make do with the mundane wherever you end up.

 

I don't think you need to have been an adventurer to find the mundane boring. I think television and the internet encourages "FOMO" - we all think we should be having an exciting life, and that we're missing out somehow if we're just going to work and bringing up kids. Whereas if I look at my parents' generation, they were quite happy with that life (and when the Chinese say, "may you have an exciting life", they mean it as a curse!).

[Scrutineer]

Why told you that? heard many time on here that it is far better than the state schools in oz and that is why most people send their kids private in oz.

 

Education is my field. The UK comprehensive system is a joke which desperately needs an overhaul, and there is constant debate to bring back grammars. Private schools are totally exclusive. Famously, Finland has the world's best education system. These things are complex and hard to measure, but the UN Education Index is the best international equivalency we have. Finland is 1, Australia is 4, and the UK is 31, to give you some idea of how the systems are ranked.

[Scrutineer]

Depends where you live in the u.k ..PB ,,its that simple

 

Postcode lottery for education in the UK is notorious. Your ability to buy an expensive house is critical when selecting a good school -selection by wealth.

[Guest littlesarah]

As far as raising children without 'family support' goes, I think it depends what you mean by that phrase. I hated going to appointments with Baby Little when he was really young because he cried a lot, and every time I went I got the question: "do you have lots of support?" and advice to accept help from family - truth being, there is no one who can come round and help us, even though we do have family and lots of friends nearby. Which actually wasn't a huge problem because we always knew that it would be just us (and wherever we were, we'd be doing it on our own), and we're not that bothered about going out without the baby (we've had offers to babysit recently, but don't want to leave him just yet). Having said all that, when we stayed with family in the UK for a month, we really noticed how much easier it was when there were other people around to mind the baby while we did things around the house (and having meals cooked made the biggest difference!).

 

We love living here in Aus, but we do have family here (and having the baby has led to me making some lovely new friends, which has been great in terms of emotional support). Ultimately, we're comparing two developed countries, and I think you do need to consider how you'd manage without any family to help if/when you have a family. It is possible for everyone to do brilliantly, but I know that a lot of couples would really struggle to cope without the support of their parents, so it's something to consider. And, as grim as this may be, 1 in 4 pregnancies doesn't result in a living baby, and having been in that 25% I can tell you that being so far from parents and siblings at such a time is very hard. But hard isn't impossible, and I guess it comes down to how resilient you are as individuals and as a couple - you have to be pretty determined to get through the hard times without any practical support/help.

 

I hope this doesn't sound negative - I love living here, and am very happy with my life as it is. I do miss our family and friends in the UK, but I know we couldn't have the life we have here anywhere else, and for us that is what keeps us here.