bunbury61 Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 I've been happier here than I ever was in the UK and I think it may have been to do with the weather- I find it hard to be miserable with bright blue skies ( even in mid Winter). People do seem to be more upbeat and positive, that was one of the first things I noticed here. Sometimes we watch dramas from the Uk- recently 'From There to Here' and think how depressing everything seems - same with the Scandinavian dramas too. Just a different take on life I guess, wouldn't do to be all alike, would it? I felt a bit like that when I watched " utopia "......i would like to watch some great Aussie TV dramas here in the UK,but they are obviously not good enough to make it here....thats why the western world watches gritty British t.v dramas like " the fall" and "broadchurch "......i have seen the u.s and Aussie stuff most of it is 3rd division Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulRaynor Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 I felt a bit like that when I watched " utopia "......i would like to watch some great Aussie TV dramas here in the UK,but they are obviously not good enough to make it here....thats why the western world watches gritty British t.v dramas like " the fall" and "broadchurch "......i have seen the u.s and Aussie stuff most of it is 3rd division You must have missed 'Jack Irish' bunbury, with Guy Pearce that really was excellent. Lots of Gallipoli drama coming out this year for the centenary but yes British drama is in abundance particularly on ABC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Most British TV drama is slit your throat stuff - very nasty but strangely compelling. Have to admit the australian stuff isn't so well acted on the whole- few exceptions of course. Reckon the best show was the American Boardwalk Empire - better than both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speakeasy Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 If you like Australia for a holiday... come to Australia for a holiday. If you like Australia as a country to live.. move over. Know that you can't predict or determine what kind of relationship you will have with a place, as it's a dynamic entity, just like any relationship. Just as you can't make a country fit any mold you have described for it. A country isn't an object you can understand by looking at it from afar.. you have to step into it. Accept it for what it is. You can't really know how any experience will shape you until you are living that experience.. But don't end up in a slump.. stay motivated. Inspired. Find joy.. it is out there. (At least when you move to Britain you expect it to be shite ) Australia's really not a bad place to live.. and you can compare it with any other place on earth and it's still pretty good. The problem is everyone compares it to "home" and it fails every test. Just don't campare it to home. Start anew and be yourself. But be open. And then, who knows? Australia will embrace you too. You only have one life to figure this stuff out. You can't be married to two countries at once. This is what people do. It makes it hard. New beginnings don't stay new forever. Need to adapt. Take a deep breath and say goodbye to what you know. Or stay at home because you'll never replace what you have there.. because you won't. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bound4Tassie Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I felt a bit like that when I watched " utopia "......i would like to watch some great Aussie TV dramas here in the UK,but they are obviously not good enough to make it here....thats why the western world watches gritty British t.v dramas like " the fall" and "broadchurch "......i have seen the u.s and Aussie stuff most of it is 3rd division I really enjoyed The Code (BBC4) and Secrets and Lies ((ch5) in last few months. I think some good aussie tv is seeping through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bound4Tassie Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I liked Underbelly ( bit graphic/ violent) and loved Offspring too but these were dvds. If uk tv had given them a chance I think they'd have been popular. Certainly better than that one about lottery winners! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosiehome Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I also have to agree with the other comments on here about the difference it makes once you are stuck thousands of miles away from family when you have children. Perhaps women feel this more than men. We brought an 18month old over here and subsequently had a child over here. As a young mum I struggled terribly without the support of family around me. I felt my kids, my siblings and my parents sadly missed out on those relationships only family can provide. True they have had wonderful outdoor lives with friends and swimming pools in the garden and fantastic beaches down the road. However they have really missed out on cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents in their lives. We have often visited the UK over the years and even spent a two year stint back there when they were in primary school. Now they are 16 and 19 and are both planning to return to the UK. Now divorced from my Aussie husband I will be right there with them! I had a fabulous time in Australia as part of a couple. It's a friendly, laid back, outdoorsy kind of place but I cant wait to come home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosiehome Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I also have to agree with the other comments on here about the difference it makes once you are stuck thousands of miles away from family when you have children. Perhaps women feel this more than men. We brought an 18month old over here and subsequently had a child over here. As a young mum I struggled terribly without the support of family around me. I felt my kids, my siblings and my parents sadly missed out on those relationships only family can provide. True they have had wonderful outdoor lives with friends and swimming pools in the garden and fantastic beaches down the road. However they have really missed out on cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents in their lives. We have often visited the UK over the years and even spent a two year stint back there when they were in primary school. Now they are 16 and 19 and are both planning to return to the UK. Now divorced from my Aussie husband I will be right there with them! I had a fabulous time in Australia as part of a couple. It's a friendly, laid back, outdoorsy kind of place but I cant wait to come home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amaike Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I also have to agree with the other comments on here about the difference it makes once you are stuck thousands of miles away from family when you have children. Perhaps women feel this more than men. We brought an 18month old over here and subsequently had a child over here. As a young mum I struggled terribly without the support of family around me. I felt my kids, my siblings and my parents sadly missed out on those relationships only family can provide. True they have had wonderful outdoor lives with friends and swimming pools in the garden and fantastic beaches down the road. However they have really missed out on cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents in their lives. We have often visited the UK over the years and even spent a two year stint back there when they were in primary school. Now they are 16 and 19 and are both planning to return to the UK. Now divorced from my Aussie husband I will be right there with them! I had a fabulous time in Australia as part of a couple. It's a friendly, laid back, outdoorsy kind of place but I cant wait to come home. How have you managed to convince your now-Australian children to move back when they have spent all their lives here? I agree with your sentiments about missing out on aunts/uncles/cousins, it's just not the same with friends no matter how close they are. Would you have gone back to England sooner if your husband had agreed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckleface Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I also have to agree with the other comments on here about the difference it makes once you are stuck thousands of miles away from family when you have children. Perhaps women feel this more than men. We brought an 18month old over here and subsequently had a child over here. As a young mum I struggled terribly without the support of family around me. I felt my kids, my siblings and my parents sadly missed out on those relationships only family can provide. True they have had wonderful outdoor lives with friends and swimming pools in the garden and fantastic beaches down the road. However they have really missed out on cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents in their lives. We have often visited the UK over the years and even spent a two year stint back there when they were in primary school. Now they are 16 and 19 and are both planning to return to the UK. Now divorced from my Aussie husband I will be right there with them! I had a fabulous time in Australia as part of a couple. It's a friendly, laid back, outdoorsy kind of place but I cant wait to come home. Did your children not have relationships with your OHs Aussie family? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 From my experience being a child who left Uk and family, its made no difference to my life. Once I grew up I kept in touch with the family I wanted to be in touch with. I still do. I find that a lot of children from Aus go to the UK to have a holiday but if they have lived here they are often drawn back once they marry and have children of their own. This goes for Aussies as well , often they spend years over there and then come back. It depends more these days on where there are good opportunities for jobs and income and lifestyle rather than seeing Uncles Aunts, Cousins, Grandparents. Children are only on loan and we grow up and have our own lives where we want. I have Australian friends whose children are permanently settled overseas because of their jobs and they are happy and that is the way the world goes these days. We cannot live in the past of our own lives. If I wanted to return to UK I would never expect my children to come just the same as I would not move to be near them. They are just as likely to up sticks and move somewhere else these days. Go back to UK for yourself but never influence the children let them live their own lives. Yep we are left alone and I know that because I am a widow now but you know we are only as lonely as we make ourselves. I returned to live in the UK after marriage and it was fine but we had the opportunity to get a better life here in Aus and took it. It has been better. As for family being better than friends, we can pick our friends but we cannot pick our family and doing things out of duty is so hard. We do it but we don't really want to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 As for family being better than friends, we can pick our friends but we cannot pick our family and doing things out of duty is so hard. We do it but we don't really want to. Absolutely agree with this.....and the rest of your post resonates with me too. Well said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Absolutely agree with this.....and the rest of your post resonates with me too. Well said. This statement is true for me too, but I know it's not true for everyone. I remember when I married my first husband, being amazed by how frequently he saw his family - who were about 100 miles away - and it was because they all felt the need to see each other, not out of duty. Whereas I was quite happy to keep in touch with my family by letters (showing my age here) and phone calls and a very occasional visit, and that was enough for me. It's people like you and me and Petals that don't feel any conflict when we migrate, because we don't have a deep-seated need for family - but some people do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Your upbringing/lifestyle also plays a big part towards how you adapt to living overseas or emigrating. I moved constantly as a child as my father was in the army. So have never really called anywhere "home" so was always very independent, with no real sense of family. went to Africa on my own in the 1960's, married someone in the RAF, so carried on being nomadic, and as a result have embraced every new experience, some good some hard. If I had lived in the same town with family and long term friends always close, I expect I would find emigrating hard. My cousin and husband moved from Zimbabwe in 1980, as they saw little future there for them, they had 3 children here and now have 4 grandchildren, so their family is getting bigger here, and creating their own extended family here. Her brother and wife also moved here as did both parents later, but it was easier then and a different prospect to stay in Zim. this is something that I think posters who miss their UK family don't realise is that when you emigrate here, yes you are leaving family behind but you are starting a new life here with children and hopefully grandchildren further down the road, so with a bit of luck your family increases here. hardly any of my friends Australian or British, have their children living near them, mine were scattered when we retired here, lovedit when I saw them, but think we have done a good job, that they have grown up to be independent adults, not scared to try new things and places. They are quite proud that it was their parents who decided to do their own thing and retire to Australia even though none of them were living here then. would be lying though if I didn't admit I'm glad 2 have decided to follow us. everyone should make their own minds up about where to live and not be swayed by others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 What a fabulous post. Thank you. Just remember though that we tend to only remember the good parts of either country! I love both and have lived in both for same amount of years. If you came back and had children would you regret that they never grow up to know eir extended family? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary K Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 What a great thread! I have been in SEQld for 10 years. I moved about the UK for 10 years before that. I am now seriously considering moving back - had the house valued... checking out property in UK - Devon! I have two boys 13 and 10. I am keen that they learn the English culture - something which I thought was non-existent until I moved here. I now see that the UK is full to bursting with culture. For me; I really really do not like to humidity, heat, and mozzies. I live near the beach and my boys NEVER ask to go (especially the eldest)! I haven't had a permanent job in the 10 years I have lived here. If I get sick and I don't have enough leave - I don't get paid. If I haven't accrued annual leave I cant take any. HAHAHHAHA I am so over backyard BBQ's it's not funny. Aus is great country if you have pile of money to get on plane and go and see some of it! Given my food budget, there is no chance of flying anywhere. I cant wait to be able to jump on train and go anywhere I like, pop in the car and drive through Dartmoor. I get that everyone's experiences are different. I think if you're into sun, surf and large quantities of beer - you'll love it!!! hahaha I do think that it is difficult when your friends haven't had your experiences. If you have the kind of personality that is willing to uproot life as you know it and move to other side of the world, you have to get that is not the norm, rather the extreme exception. I was in UK in June and I am a keen facebooker and one thing for sure is that the POMS do WHINGE A LOT!!!! hahahah No one is perfect. Maybe the issue there is, they have nothing to compare the UK to... where else in the world can you get free education, health care etc...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AltyMatt Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 If you have the kind of personality that is willing to uproot life as you know it and move to other side of the world, you have to get that is not the norm, rather the extreme exception. Well it is the exception compared to those back in UK, but it is almost the norm for people here. A huge number of parents at my daughter's school are immigrants, our friends too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 This made me smile - my parents have just gone home after a month staying with us here and spent a lot of the time searching through all the Foxtel and Digital channels trying to find some "World News"! Mind you, they did complain that "no-one has mentioned anything about the weather or what's happening in the UK at all" to which we pointed out, why would anyone here really care...? We've not heard much here about Ebola recently, is it still happening? oh my goodness! SBS is world news and yes, in all media there has been talk of where Ebola is now arising and where it has abated. There is always News 24 too which has world news weeknights and maybe weekends too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speakeasy Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 oh my goodness! SBS is world news and yes, in all media there has been talk of where Ebola is now arising and where it has abated. There is always News 24 too which has world news weeknights and maybe weekends too. And you do get informed of the shark attack fatalities... This number rises daily... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 Returning from Tasmania in April after fabulous 6 months out of the heat, to Brisbane or Gold Coast for as short a time as possible then back on the plane to UK. I found out after 32 years that I missed the UK just too much deep down and think now that I was consumed by just making a living with 3 kids to bring up in Oz. Had the house, investment properties, did the four year tour of Australia once retired early. Deep down UK is home which was a shock! Perhaps it is there underneath all along, hidden. Spent a year back in Devon returning last April to Sunsine Coast near my daughter then the 6 months here in beautiful Tasmania where, incidentally, unemployment is continually dropping! Have to go 'home' where my heart is. I have enjoyed one heck of a long holiday and dep down perhaps I knew it was just that. Wish I had never bought my kids up here though and they too have deep regrets at not knowing extended family. Two of them have met some of them. One has been back a few times and is now unsettled. Wish I had stayed put to start with! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Returning from Tasmania in April after fabulous 6 months out of the heat, to Brisbane or Gold Coast for as short a time as possible then back on the plane to UK. I found out after 32 years that I missed the UK just too much deep down and think now that I was consumed by just making a living with 3 kids to bring up in Oz. Had the house, investment properties, did the four year tour of Australia once retired early. Deep down UK is home which was a shock! Perhaps it is there underneath all along, hidden. Spent a year back in Devon returning last April to Sunsine Coast near my daughter then the 6 months here in beautiful Tasmania where, incidentally, unemployment is continually dropping! Have to go 'home' where my heart is. I have enjoyed one heck of a long holiday and dep down perhaps I knew it was just that. Wish I had never bought my kids up here though and they too have deep regrets at not knowing extended family. Two of them have met some of them. One has been back a few times and is now unsettled. Wish I had stayed put to start with! Well fizzy it sounds like you have had a great run....iam in a strange position.....all my family in oz,so my little group are the family minority in their own country. My daughters cousins are all in oz. We were at a family funeral last week.....loads of extended family,and my daughters hadn't met half of them. I think family is splintering wherever we are based. I meet new people every day in my job,and in my 20 yrs doing my job, I have only met a couple of "old style " families,where the families were very tight and localised.. One in Liverpool....one in telford Finally fizzy,I find your regrets sadden me,because you have dome and acheived so much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Ps...if I was to make a big enforced change within England......South or north Devon would be my first choices Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Well fizzy it sounds like you have had a great run....iam in a strange position.....all my family in oz,so my little group are the family minority in their own country.My daughters cousins are all in oz. We were at a family funeral last week.....loads of extended family,and my daughters hadn't met half of them. I think family is splintering wherever we are based. I meet new people every day in my job,and in my 20 yrs doing my job, I have only met a couple of "old style " families,where the families were very tight and localised.. One in Liverpool....one in telford Finally fizzy,I find your regrets sadden me,because you have dome and acheived so much what is achievement though? I would have once thought of jobs, education, financial, health etc. Don't we all have someone who we want to make proud of us? My thoughts have changed over the last few years. No price on family connections because when we are gone the kids family connections will be their kids and cousins and their kids. It would be better had they been part of 'the family'. They always envied other families meeting up with relatives at Christmas and other important events. Back in UK they have nearly 100 incredibly loving family members and even though two have met some of the family now, there is my deceased brother's family of 18 odd, four generations who none of them have met. Just my personal thoughts. We have done a lot sure. the only way to liken the feeling I have when wishing family connections for my children is that it is similar to that stomach gut feeling you have when homesick for your own country. It is a heart and gut feeling that cannot really be explained. Having several houses or having travelled widely is no longer what it id all about for me. It is the feeling of belonging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 what is achievement though? I would have once thought of jobs, education, financial, health etc. Don't we all have someone who we want to make proud of us? My thoughts have changed over the last few years. No price on family connections because when we are gone the kids family connections will be their kids and cousins and their kids. It would be better had they been part of 'the family'. They always envied other families meeting up with relatives at Christmas and other important events. Back in UK they have nearly 100 incredibly loving family members and even though two have met some of the family now, there is my deceased brother's family of 18 odd, four generations who none of them have met. Just my personal thoughts. We have done a lot sure. the only way to liken the feeling I have when wishing family connections for my children is that it is similar to that stomach gut feeling you have when homesick for your own country. It is a heart and gut feeling that cannot really be explained. Having several houses or having travelled widely is no longer what it id all about for me. It is the feeling of belonging. I suppose that coming from a very small and fragmented family that I have to have a different perspective on life than this. I am not sure that I would ever want to have my life 'scored' by someone else anyway so certainly cannot conceive of the concept of someone being proud of my achievements or care much if they were ashamed of my lack of them. I have found that unfortunately I had very little in common with my family so we have drifted even further apart over the years. Time will tell for our only daughter as she has grown up with very little family contact in the UK and will have none at all in Australia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 what is achievement though? I would have once thought of jobs, education, financial, health etc. Don't we all have someone who we want to make proud of us? My thoughts have changed over the last few years. No price on family connections because when we are gone the kids family connections will be their kids and cousins and their kids. It would be better had they been part of 'the family'. They always envied other families meeting up with relatives at Christmas and other important events. Back in UK they have nearly 100 incredibly loving family members and even though two have met some of the family now, there is my deceased brother's family of 18 odd, four generations who none of them have met. Just my personal thoughts. We have done a lot sure. the only way to liken the feeling I have when wishing family connections for my children is that it is similar to that stomach gut feeling you have when homesick for your own country. It is a heart and gut feeling that cannot really be explained. Having several houses or having travelled widely is no longer what it id all about for me. It is the feeling of belonging. Yes I fully understand that homesick feeling.......i also personally put having the big house and the ocean a distant second,when I see my poor mom and what it means to have her two youngest grand children close by,and that 5 minute call everyday keeps her going.....iam by no means the golden boy,or cut out for the job......but leaving a women in poor health on her own is unthinkable.....only in this culture of greed and self is it considered acceptable,especially when the old woman is someone's mother Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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