Marisawright Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 So now a completely different journey than we had planned must begin. Not really sure why i'm putting it out on here just felt the need. I can understand absolutely why you feel the need. You know that people here won't think you're mad for feeling more upset about not going back than about the cancer. We've been planning to go back for a couple of years and health issues kept getting in the way for us too - a skin cancer scare for my husband and then a spinal operation for me. We're now aiming at a move next year but I've got to the stage where I'm just waiting for the next hiccup to arrive! Of course your partner is going to be disappointed but I'm sure that's the last thing he's thinking about right now, no matter how desperate he's been to return. It's all about looking after YOU now, for both of you. All the very best for the journey ahead. The good thing is that you can get access to good medical care in both countries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MovingtoTasmania Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 I'm so sorry to hear your news Chicken and pray for your quick "recovery" (remission) :hug: It's saddening and frustrating that you can't yet fulfill your plans to return to the UK but hopefully, this is a small speedbump on the road of life for you. Stay strong :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I'm so sorry Chicken, what an a awful shock for you and your DP. I think you have a great attitude and with the help of your good man will kick it into touch in no time. Looking forward to the news that you're sat in your UK local celebrating being cancer-free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legoman Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 So we had planned to make the move back to U.K. early next year. Seems life has stepped in big time to change that. I've just been given the worst news something given my family history i should have been prepared for. That bastard breast cancer has got me. Sadly i've lost two family members to this bastard thing an aunt and a grandmother both at roughly the same age i am now. My mother has also had the bastard have a go at her too she's made it through so far. I'm so upset not for me but for my partner who has for some time been desperate to return. I'm sure i have not actually processed this news yet. So now a completely different journey than we had planned must begin. Not really sure why i'm putting it out on here just felt the need. Keep sharing your progress and especially if you having a down day, we may be strangers but we all have a lot in common, so heads up, keep positive and I,m sure those on here will give you the added support that will keep you positive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritChickx Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I can only say that I hope you beat the bastard! Keep strong. Lots of hugs your way xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I'm so sorry to hear that. I really hope you beat it, I'm sure you will! Stay strong x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 First of all i would like to say sorry i was so angry the other day in my original post. I'm not normally an angry person. Just have had a hard few months and then this. You see on top of this my oh and i both have elderly mothers to keep on eye on both of whom are not well. We had decided to just take the plunge and move back and set up care plans for them both but since the cancer news we've both decided we can't really leave them. Any way we off to the city tomorrow to find out what's next for me. Thanks again for letting me rant a bit. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinob Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Actually I thought you were very restrained, considering! Sending you lots of well wishes, hope it's easily treated. Don't give up all hope of moving just yet. Life can be surprising in good ways too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 So here it is not good news to be fair i have been advised to have at least one breast removed possibly both. It's all happening so fast my head is spinning. I can't take it all in....In all honesty i don't know what to do. My other half has just said what's to think about the doctor says they have to come off so off they come?? I know he doesn't mean to be so blunt and he's just worried but it's not his body. I could hear him crying in the shower......just feel so bloody helpless. I'm not sure i can do this. Sorry i just need to get this out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Not a lot I can say except sending you lots of love. My nieces on my husbands side all carried the gene and like you had to make hard decisions. Keep posting so we can keep sending you our support xxM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Londongal76 Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Thoughts are with you, hope they've caught it nice and early and that you start treatment soon. Fight the good fight! We're always here if you need support xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Londongal76 Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 So here it is not good news to be fair i have been advised to have at least one breast removed possibly both. It's all happening so fast my head is spinning. I can't take it all in....In all honesty i don't know what to do. My other half has just said what's to think about the doctor says they have to come off so off they come?? I know he doesn't mean to be so blunt and he's just worried but it's not his body. I could hear him crying in the shower......just feel so bloody helpless. I'm not sure i can do this. Sorry i just need to get this out. He must be terrified of losing you and so sad at what you have to go through and wishing there was something he could do to take the pain away. My mum had a single mastectomy, but this was in the 80's - things are so much better now. I know it's not his body, it's yours and you have to decide. But don't let the bastard C get you for the sake of vanity, I know it'll be horrific and as a woman an awful thing to go through, but reconstructive surgery is amazing these days. Do what you have to do to LIVE. Much easier said than done I know, but that's the endgame right? Do what you have to to survive. Sounds like you have an amazing partner who will love you no matter what. So fight for both your sakes. I'm sure it's a whole lot to take in, but listen to the doctors, all you can do is take their word for what's best to get you through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinob Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Aw I am so sorry Chicken. Come here and let it all out as much as you want. I know we're mostly strangers but maybe that's better as you can tell us the whole truth of how you are without filtering it? Is there anyway they can give you time to get your head round this before any op needs to happen? Does it have to be so fast? Thinking of you tonight. (Your hubby is probably terrified and not meaning to sound harsh) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louisella Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Chicken - please don't feel the need to apologise for wanting to let it out on here, from our perspective, it's good to know you feel you do have somewhere you can share how you're feeling. We're all here for you and although virtual hugs aren't the same as the real thing, I'm sure many are coming your way from this thread. I'm sure your other half didn't mean to mean to be so blunt - to him he'll be wanted to do anything to make sure you're safe and well so to him it probably seemed 'obvious' what needs to be done. However from your side, it does mean big changes to your body and of course that will be hard to come to terms with. As Londongal76 has said, do what you need to do to live - take care xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Oh I'm so sorry Chicken, what confronting news. I'm with your DH in that you should do whatever it takes to live and be well but I completely understand your feelings around losing your breasts, it's all tied up with self-image, confidence and femininity etc. It's okay to grieve for the things you feel you will lose, even if you know you are doing the right thing ultimately. And I do believe that those things will come back, with time and healing. Thinking of you x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 So sorry to hear what you are going through chicken. Must be so scary for you and your OH. Two close friends have been through breast cancer recently and had double mastectomies then reconstruction. If it helps, they both look fabulous and 1 year on, seem to be fighting fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindor Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Chicken, that is awful news and hard for you and your OH to take in. He sounds terrified as you must be. I think you know what you need to do, but you need a little time to come to terms with it so you're the one making the decision, not being dictated to by the bastard cancer. I really believe that as the so called 'weaker sex' we are actually the stronger sex, though it may not feel like it at times. You can do it Chicken! You will be strong and your OH will be strong with you and for you. Come and rant anytime! Sending you both love and positive vibes x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Thank you everyone for all your kind words and thoughts. I have slowly sorted my head out and as others have said i know what needs to be done. So surgery booked for next week. I have very little support so putting it out here is good for me. My oh is fabulous but i think it helps to take a bit of the pressure of him by putting it out here. I only have a few close friends both of my closest live overseas. Sadly my mum has mental health issues (life long ones) and is no support. So it helps too just get it out somewhere. Hard road ahead i think but one day at a time and i'll get there, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the bottler Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Thank you everyone for all your kind words and thoughts. I have slowly sorted my head out and as others have said i know what needs to be done. So surgery booked for next week. I have very little support so putting it out here is good for me. My oh is fabulous but i think it helps to take a bit of the pressure of him by putting it out here. I only have a few close friends both of my closest live overseas. Sadly my mum has mental health issues (life long ones) and is no support. So it helps too just get it out somewhere. Hard road ahead i think but one day at a time and i'll get there, please post on here how everything is going ... there are some kind and caring people on PIO ... it does help to get it out of your head and down in writing ... the very best of luck ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Londongal76 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Good on you chicken. And good luck for next week, let us know when it is and i'll be sending positive vibes your way all the way from London. I know you won't feel like it for a while, but when you do, please let us know how you're doing. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legoman Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Thank you everyone for all your kind words and thoughts. I have slowly sorted my head out and as others have said i know what needs to be done. So surgery booked for next week. I have very little support so putting it out here is good for me. My oh is fabulous but i think it helps to take a bit of the pressure of him by putting it out here. I only have a few close friends both of my closest live overseas. Sadly my mum has mental health issues (life long ones) and is no support. So it helps too just get it out somewhere. Hard road ahead i think but one day at a time and i'll get there, Might be a hard road but you are not walking it alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bell123321 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Sorry to hear about your news chicken. It is good you do not have to wait long for the operation and hopefully soon your be hearing good news. All the best for next week, you have made a hard decision but a good decision. Vent as much as you like on here, it is always easier to do that to people who don't know you face to face as your get honest opinions and support. Stay strong and keep us updated xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irishgirl1 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Thank you everyone for all your kind words and thoughts. I have slowly sorted my head out and as others have said i know what needs to be done. So surgery booked for next week. I have very little support so putting it out here is good for me. My oh is fabulous but i think it helps to take a bit of the pressure of him by putting it out here. I only have a few close friends both of my closest live overseas. Sadly my mum has mental health issues (life long ones) and is no support. So it helps too just get it out somewhere. Hard road ahead i think but one day at a time and i'll get there, Good Luck with your Surgery and I hope the recovery is quick, stay positive xxxxxx:hug::hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Good luck for next week Chicken, please let us know how you get on. Sending strength and good vibes to you and your OH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beanbear Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 I completely understand how you are feeling; was diagnosed 3 months ago and have just started chemo after surgery. We were planning to be moving back right now but will be delayed into next year now. It is a horrible time and worse being away from family, although my friends here have really been fantastic. My poor kids have had to readjust and this has been particularly tricky for the older one, who will be going back into the middle of GCSEs. Thankfully her school have been very supportive and she is preparing a bit for them before we go. Feel free to message me with questions or anything. There is so much to take in I know but if I can help I will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.