Jump to content

I don't know where I belong!


canadianaussie

Recommended Posts

Long time follower, first time poster here. I have a rather long story so please bear with me :)

 

I was born in England, and emigrated to Canada when I was 10 with my parents. Grew up on the prairies, went to uni to get a professional degree,worked for 2 years there, got fed up with the winters and came to Australia on a WHV. Loved it, applied for PR (189) which was granted last year. Currently living in a beautiful coastal part of Australia doing a job I enjoy for the most part. However, I'm not happy.

 

I'm over the 'honeymoon' phase of being in Australia. I miss real people, seasons, life. I get up every day, wander down to the beach and think how can I be unhappy? It's beautiful. But that's it. I'm over it. So, what to do? I'm 29, gay, not out in my location (small town, professional job etc etc). I have a partner who lives in Sydney who I get to see a few times a month which helps. It is a great relationship, but I'm unsure if it's a long term one for me or him for a number of reasons. He is not able to move due to work and business commitments.

 

I feel like I need to make a decision but I can't! My options are:

1) Move in with my partner in Sydney. I would be happy to do this, but would struggle for work in the field I am in, in Sydney, and find it incredibly expensive (career change might be necessary??)

2) Move back to Canada - I miss a lot about Canada. However, a move back would put me back on the west coast, away from all my family and most of my friends. I simply cannot handle another Canadian prairie winter.

3) Move back to the UK where I can easily get Locum work, and have many extended family and some friends. I've always wanted to move back there and 'try it out.' See what I missed growing up etc etc. However even at 29 I feel like I'm getting too old to keep drifting around!

4) Stay where I am - it's paradise, I have a good job, I can afford to buy a house etc but I m bored!!

 

I think I just have too many options and it's doing my head in! Helps to write it down. Any suggestions?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Long time follower, first time poster here. I have a rather long story so please bear with me :)

 

I was born in England, and emigrated to Canada when I was 10 with my parents. Grew up on the prairies, went to uni to get a professional degree,worked for 2 years there, got fed up with the winters and came to Australia on a WHV. Loved it, applied for PR (189) which was granted last year. Currently living in a beautiful coastal part of Australia doing a job I enjoy for the most part. However, I'm not happy.

 

I'm over the 'honeymoon' phase of being in Australia. I miss real people, seasons, life. I get up every day, wander down to the beach and think how can I be unhappy? It's beautiful. But that's it. I'm over it. So, what to do? I'm 29, gay, not out in my location (small town, professional job etc etc). I have a partner who lives in Sydney who I get to see a few times a month which helps. It is a great relationship, but I'm unsure if it's a long term one for me or him for a number of reasons. He is not able to move due to work and business commitments.

 

I feel like I need to make a decision but I can't! My options are:

1) Move in with my partner in Sydney. I would be happy to do this, but would struggle for work in the field I am in, in Sydney, and find it incredibly expensive (career change might be necessary??)

2) Move back to Canada - I miss a lot about Canada. However, a move back would put me back on the west coast, away from all my family and most of my friends. I simply cannot handle another Canadian prairie winter.

3) Move back to the UK where I can easily get Locum work, and have many extended family and some friends. I've always wanted to move back there and 'try it out.' See what I missed growing up etc etc. However even at 29 I feel like I'm getting too old to keep drifting around!

4) Stay where I am - it's paradise, I have a good job, I can afford to buy a house etc but I m bored!!

 

I think I just have too many options and it's doing my head in! Helps to write it down. Any suggestions?

 

Rubbish you're not to old at 29 to try new things! Go for it! Try it out have fun plenty of time to settle down later, enjoy the freedom to choose. Also if you give the UK a try that then opens up Europe, great fun enjoy:wubclub:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3) seems like a good option and then number 1), if they are truly your only options.

 

But you need a good hard think about it yourself, and ask yourself "what do I really want", then go with that. I would not use "im this age so I cant do that, or I shouldnt do this" attitude , because you should do whatever it is you want to do, its your life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I lived in Canada for 2 years, after emigrating there when I was 29. I had 2 wonderful years there before moving back to the UK (relationship reasons).

 

You can take the person out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the person. Canada and it's people will always be a part of you. If you do decide to go back though, to the West Coast I can thoroughly recommend Vancouver - so many immigrants there and it is such a lovely place. However, it is the dampness in Winter which chills you.

 

As others have said, why not try the UK? You speak the language, you have citizenship and there are so many different places to try and the winters aren't as bad. At 29 you are still a spring chicken so give it a go.

 

Good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for all the thoughts. One good thing about the past few years is I have managed to save a bit of a nest egg (at the expense of a social life!).

 

I think part of my hesitation is security. Coming to australia was a big jump for me, and I've found a position where I'm comfortable, fit in at work etc. I'm finally financially secure. It would take another leap of faith to do it again.

 

However, re-reading my post I realize I need to leave this position. I see no long term future here, which isn't fair on my employer. I'm thinking about going over to the UK in April/May time and finding work for 6 months and then making a long term decision from there. I have talked to my partner about this and he is happy to try the long distance thing while I sort myself out. He may even come and visit for a few weeks.

 

Just need to resign now!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Distance relationships can work out, 6 months is nothing in the overall scheme of things, but will give you time to think and sort out what you want and where you want to be. My husband was in the Royal Navy for 9 years after we met. Three months after we started dating he went to sea for six months and I saw him for 2 days in the middle. We managed to speak twice during his deployment when he was in mobile signal range. Our relationship survived and I am sure yours will too, particularly now skype is so popular!

 

Have faith and courage. You will be fine!

 

Best of luck and let us know how you get on!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do what makes you happy. It's your life. I have discovered this over the years. Some may call it selfish, but it's your life. I care less what people think now. I think Australia has a way of making you reflect on what you want out of life- the sun shines etc and it feels like it should be 'paradise'. Then you start to think, there's more to life than sun and beaches... I can only speak from my own experiences but at the end of the day you can't help what you feel In your heart and I'd hedge a bet it sounds like you already know what you want to do. Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do, I'm sure It will be what's best for you...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for all the thoughts. One good thing about the past few years is I have managed to save a bit of a nest egg (at the expense of a social life!).

 

I think part of my hesitation is security. Coming to australia was a big jump for me, and I've found a position where I'm comfortable, fit in at work etc. I'm finally financially secure. It would take another leap of faith to do it again.

 

However, re-reading my post I realize I need to leave this position. I see no long term future here, which isn't fair on my employer. I'm thinking about going over to the UK in April/May time and finding work for 6 months and then making a long term decision from there. I have talked to my partner about this and he is happy to try the long distance thing while I sort myself out. He may even come and visit for a few weeks.

 

Just need to resign now!

 

Sounds like you just needed to write it all down and see your options in black and white.

I would have said give the UK a try too and it sounds like you have gone with that plan anyway.

Best of luck in everything! I'm sure you'll have no trouble getting a job and you sound like a lovely level headed guy and I'm sure you'll find new friends quickly too.

Lots of long distance relationships work out just fine and I'm glad your partner is on board. :-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Most of my family is in North Yorkshire - towards the coast. I have a few friends scattered around (London, Edinburgh). Work will probably involve short Locum stints in various locations. Any advice on where to base myself? I was thinking York/Leeds area - close to familiarity but still with a bigger city vibe? Other options - London, Edinburgh, Manchester. Any thoughts? Thanks for all the help, feels good to get this off my chest!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Most of my family is in North Yorkshire - towards the coast. I have a few friends scattered around (London, Edinburgh). Work will probably involve short Locum stints in various locations. Any advice on where to base myself? I was thinking York/Leeds area - close to familiarity but still with a bigger city vibe? Other options - London, Edinburgh, Manchester. Any thoughts? Thanks for all the help, feels good to get this off my chest!

 

Obviously in the big cities there should be more job opportunity, but as I said I don't think you'll have a problem wherever you end up.

Do you fancy being around family/friends again and have a catch up with a bit of work, or work with a bit of a catch up? I guess that will be the main point of where you base yourself.

Do you like the quiet countryside or busy cities more? You may not be over that long but you still need to feel settled.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would go near family to start off with. It is always nice to have someone to pop round to have a cup of tea with if you are lonely while you are getting yourself established. York is lovely. I'd live there in a heartbeat. Manchester has good bits and bad bits but lots of work, as does Liverpool. Newcastle is also great, both for work and a social life. I know South Yorkshire well because I have family there but can't advise on work or social life as I spend my time with family, not working or socialising.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey whereabouts are you at the moment? Sounds a bit where am living, beautiful area but this morning I was out for a run & looked & thought what a beautiful place yet I feel empty & like I don't belong!

Am originally from the north east & can recommend Newcastle as a place to work, live, socialise.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd also recommend Newcastle. Although I am from the South East originally, Newcastle is a great place, and the people are fantastic, hearty souls. Went there for a FA Cup match, tipping with Snow and while the Gooners where huddled together like penguins in Antartic, the magpies where bathing in short sleeve shirts ! Great night life, and very friendly place to be I'd imagine. If your interested, we drew 1-1, but stuffed them 3-0 in the replay when Pires done his knee in ....I don't know if this bit helps you at all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd also recommend Newcastle. Although I am from the South East originally, Newcastle is a great place, and the people are fantastic, hearty souls. Went there for a FA Cup match, tipping with Snow and while the Gooners where huddled together like penguins in Antartic, the magpies where bathing in short sleeve shirts ! Great night life, and very friendly place to be I'd imagine. If your interested, we drew 1-1, but stuffed them 3-0 in the replay when Pires done his knee in ....I don't know if this bit helps you at all.

 

I really don't think that the football score is going to be the deciding factor here :wink::laugh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No, I'm not that bothered about the footy scores ;) However, Newcastle is interesting, hadn't given it much though TBH, will have to do a bit of research! I do have a cousin living there and have passed through it once, all I remember is sprawl on the drive up from Middlesborough! I'm currently on the south coast of NSW, about 2 hrs from Canberra. Driving home from work tonight It struck me again how beautiful it all is! Argh!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We've lived here for 2 1/2 years and I wasn't all that keen on coming back (we lived here for a few years in the early 90s), but I have to say Newcastle and Northumberland have so much going for them. A fantastic city with so much going on - music, theatre, nightlife, museums, galleries etc, good restaurants and pubs serving good, locally produced food, stunning and varied countryside, an interesting history... It's also sparsely populated, so it's easy to avoid crowds if you want to.

I've lived all over England and I have to say, the people here are the most open, smiley and friendly I've met. We won't be here forever, but it is great!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...