Jillyg65 Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Hi there We are leaving the UK 18 January 2013 As yet, we haven't told our 5 year old. She 'thinks' we are going on holiday to Australia after Xmas. (as she hears so much about OZ!) She has just started her first year of school here, back in September and obviously we will be taking her out in January. So can anyone tell me their stories about how they told their children, 5 is still quite young, but obviously she will know something is going on, I am telling the school next week, and will then probably tell her pretty soon after that thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 You've got to be upfront IMO, and the sooner the better. At 5 she will understand. Maybe look for kids' books in the library which cover the topic of moving overseas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 I agree with Harpo, be honest and include her in everything you can prior to the move. You will actually be surprised once she is here how quick she 'forgets' the UK. My daughter was a little younger when we moved and remembers nothing other thanthings / people we regually talk about. I put her into Kindy as soon as i could and it was the best thing i did, for her and me,lol, we both met lots of people ,some of which are now good friends always there to help. Overall try not to worry, she will be fine as long as she is with you. Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ptp113 Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 5yr olds do what their parents decide. Seriously............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 5yr olds do what their parents decide. Seriously............... Of course they do, but good, sensitive parents don't just take them on a plane and tell them they're never going home again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ptp113 Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Of course they do, but good, sensitive parents don't just take them on a plane and tell them they're never going home again! Because they are going to their new home. Seriously.................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 There's a very fine line - there have been other posters on here where 5 year olds have conjured up all sorts of monsters by being too involved in the minutiae of leaving. I'd be up front to the point of this is going to be longer than your usual holiday because mum/dad has a new job to go to and you will be able to go to a new school and make new friends. Bottom line though as Wendee said - this is what we are going to do! Don't promise stuff you can't be sure of delivering (even the promise of new friends is a tad dodgy) - pools, pets, etc. oh yes, and as Caramac said don't tell them they are never going home again (you might, you never know!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 We took ours when they were that age and younger. Just be honest and answer her questions truthfully. Ours settled really well, although they did a have a couple of 'wobbles' about leaving friends. We explained that we missed our friends too and that it was normal to feel a bit anxious and sad as well as excited. I think as long as you are open and allow her to talk about any worries she has, she'll be fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 I think a 5 year old would be great to tell they will look at it as an adventure, they won't have made close friendships at school so you won't have any tears there. Get her involved, let her help you plan what to take, make sure she has a special doll that will do this trip with her. Maybe get her a little travel case like the one below and let her pack it with her important books, toys etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Best time to go in my opinion. I so wish I'd done it when's me were that age. Now I would say be honest but use positive words not negative " Aren't we lucky " " Having an adventure" " living near the Sea" if the question gets asked "are we coming back?" "We may but we may like it solo much we might stay" I was always told by a psychologist at work one that you should keep the best bit till last ie we may have our own pool etc etc etc. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 5yr olds do what their parents decide. Seriously............... So you obviously do not have children then Wendee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindsay Mcwilliam Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 My son is 5 and we are going to melbourne soon my oh is already there, we initially told him we were going on holiday then once we knew that we were definitely going we told him about it, at fist he was a bit unsure but as the weeks have passed and we have openly spoke about it he has really warmed to the idea. He has loved being able to help with things like looking at houses, finding out about sports an leisure facilities. Also telling him that he is having a new room and that he can pick which theme he would like have kept him in the loop and gave him something to be excited about. I think sometimes we don't give them enough credit. Hope all goes well, Lindsay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 My children were 3 and 6 when we came out to Perth for a "look see" - and were 5 and 8 when we finally moved here. I obviously kept all the stress of the visa application, house sale etc from them, but they knew from when we first came that it was on the cards. We have family here and after having met their cousins, Aunt, Uncle for the first time, and spending time with their grandparents who they already knew and loved, I just included them in the letters etc that went back and forth. (was in 1990/1 so pre internet). They were involved in the packing and what they wanted to bring (everything! - which happened) we talked about the big move to friends, so they were well aware of what was happening. 21 years later my kids are 26 and 29 - Australian Citizens - very happy and well adjusted adults. They have both been back to England with me and independently for visits, but whilst loving the holiday times they spend there, are very happy to come "home". So my advice is to include them in what you think is appropriate for them, but never say it is a holiday. All of the advice given to you in this thread is very good advice. How you use it of course is up to you, but I wish you well in your journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Treat it as you would if you were moving house, tell them which relatives will be coming to see you etc., My youngest was 7 when we moved, we bought postcards and things of places we visited to send to grandparents and his friends. We'd been here a year when he suddenly asked if we were still on holiday (we'd never said it was a holiday), when we said we live here now he just shrugged and said OK. Be honest, they don't need to know the whole details but making it sound exciting etc., goes a long way, My kids even enjoyed deciding what toys they were going to give to charity and which were coming to Aus with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fox Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 I find it hard to understand why anyone would deceive a child over anything. All you have to do is explain everything to them in a rational and unbiased way. Then they will think about it and ask questions when they have them, and all a parent has to do is answer honestly. This will reassure the child that they can trust their parents and therefore will be happier to go on any adventures that their parents want to take them on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ptp113 Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 So you obviously do not have children then Wendee Yes we do. Also we came here at 13, 10, 7 years of age and were told "going to Australia". End of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lesleybruck Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Hi i recently posted a similar post on here myself, i have three boys 12,5 and 7 months. 12 year old cant wait, baby doesnt know any different, but my 5 yr old does we have always told him the truth from day one, he has had a few sad days and wants to stay with grandparents here in uk. Its been very hard, was upset the day we sold the house, only started school sept but loves it and his teacher adores him and i know they will really miss him. Grandparents and other relatives dont really help as many tell him they love him and dont want him to go. but after saying all that he is excited about moving and we are staying with grandparents for a few weeks before we leave in April. He cant wait to see a koala and kangaroo in the wild, i know he will be ok but im also well aware hes going to have bad days. We have told we will come back to visit and hopefully people will visit us but cant promise that.Its very hard as trying to keep everyone happy and keep sane myself. So my advice tell her now so she can prepare to leave aswell she will be upset but not as upset when finds out not going back and didnt give family/friends that extra hug. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyg65 Posted November 22, 2012 Author Share Posted November 22, 2012 Thank so much for all the good advice. I certainly wasn't going to NOT tell her. I am planning on telling her in the next week, just want to tell the school and then her. As once I tell her I would imagine she'll tell everyone. She has quite a lot of friends as she's done pre school with them too. She has an amazing teacher too. But, hopefully we will sort of re create it in Oz plus more!! thanks again x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diane1968 Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 We have a 5 year old daughter and are moving to Melbourne in January. We have been preparing her for the last 9 months. We've included her in looking on the internet at houses etc. We also informed school , Rainbow Guides etc and they have been preparing her too by doing projects on Oz and completing scrapbooks etc. They and we are also having leaving parties for her ,including all her friends. All our furniture and most of the toys have been shipped , but she has a special suitcase with her special toys which will be flying with us. We've also discussed penpals and she is looking forward to writing to her friends. My background is as a childrens nurse/teacher , with anything , I think it is important to keep a child informed and be true , they're surprisingly adapt once they know whats going on. Best of luck with the move Di Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyg65 Posted November 22, 2012 Author Share Posted November 22, 2012 Thank you Diane. Great advice My little girl is a big worrier. Asks a LOT of questions and thinks too much about things. So I am happy with the decision not to tell her too early. I'll tell her next week and then she'll have 2 months to get used to the idea. Hopefully that will be long enough!! Good luck with your move too! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vixenpops Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I have two children 3 and 5 we are already here sorting out the house and trying to find jobs etc and they are coming out with their nanny in January (god I miss them so much though and skype is just not the same) We told our two over sumer holiday so they have had 4 months to get used to it - lots of questions but they are excited about coming PM me if you want any further advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anika Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 My parents moved me and my two younger sisters to England when I was 10, I was simply told that's what was happening and that was that. Worst thing for me was that I couldn't speak a word of english (I am German) and I was put into year 6 two days after we arrived which was scary as hell but I survived and am really thankful to my parents that that is the decision they made for us as a family. I don't have any kids myself but if I did I would tell them that they were moving abroad, answer any questions they have and be sympathetic if they got upset, however I wouldn't let them dissuade me from moving if they didn't want to go, children tend to adapt a lot easier than adults anyway and at the end of it they will probably thank you for moving and if not they can always return to England when they are older if they really don't like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sioban Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Best time to go in my opinion. I so wish I'd done it when's me were that age. Now I would say be honest but use positive words not negative " Aren't we lucky " " Having an adventure" " living near the Sea" if the question gets asked "are we coming back?" "We may but we may like it solo much we might stay" I was always told by a psychologist at work one that you should keep the best bit till last ie we may have our own pool etc etc etc. Good luck. Totally agree with this. Our kids were 8 and 6 when we moved over earlier this year and we went with the softly, softly approach rather than tell them you are leaving your friends and family to go to the other side of the world and won't see them for a long time. We explained that we were going on a long holiday to see if we still liked Australia and as we were going to be there for a while Mum and Dad would work and they would go to a new school, we explained that as we wouldn't be living in our home we would let someone else live in it while we were away. We told the kids that if we all like Australia then we could stay longer but if we didn't then we could go home. Kids took everything well and are really settled, they miss their friends but I set up an e-mail address for them so they can keep in touch and skype is fantastic. I reckon the more relaxed you can keep things the better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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