Nohea Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Hi at the moment me, oh, and 3 children are weighing up whether or not we think we could make a go of it in Perth, there's a lot to consider, financial, education, jobs etc. but the main thing that I think is keeping me undecided is the fact that our 16 year old wants to stay in the uk with my mil, is anyone else in a similar situation or know how difficult it would be in the future for him to obtain a visa and join us? This is not something that would happen anytime soon but I would like to think in the future he would have a change of heart and we could all be together, I'm not sure what type of visa he would need or if it even exists or is possible, does anyone know what options there are? Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 I'm assuming he is dependent and still in education so I would be saying that to have him on your initial application, get him to validate then he has time to decide what to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nohea Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 I'm assuming he is dependent and still in education so I would be saying that to have him on your initial application, get him to validate then he has time to decide what to do He didn't validate, at the moment he has no interest in living in oz, he didn't even want to come for a holiday. In the uk we've only got my oh's parents who are disabled and in their 80's, he's staying with them but when there gone he'll have no family what so ever, it's playing on my mind a lot, I think if I knew what options were available to him should he wish to come in the future it would make it easier for me to make my decision on the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyt Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 He didn't validate, at the moment he has no interest in living in oz, he didn't even want to come for a holiday. In the uk we've only got my oh's parents who are disabled and in their 80's, he's staying with them but when there gone he'll have no family what so ever, it's playing on my mind a lot, I think if I knew what options were available to him should he wish to come in the future it would make it easier for me to make my decision on the future. As he is on your visa but hasn't validated it, I personally would put him on a plane ASAP just to validate it because once it expires you're going to have to jump through hoops to get him a visa eventually. My own son at 16 didn't want to go to Australia due to girlfriend and big group of friends, fortunately we made the decision to put him on and now at 20 can't wait to live there. A lot changes in a couple of years at that age but you must keep his options open or you will regret it in the future. The thought of leaving behind a teenager with elderly parents, I believe would be a bad move. Kids need their parents more as teenagers than they care to realise. The responsibility would be too much for elderly parents to cope with. I don't know your son but there have been a lot of people in your position so it may be worth you going through all the old threads. I think you'll find most boys at 16 don't want to go but by 18 most have changed their minds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 He really should validate so as to at least give himself options for a few years should be change his mind (as plenty of younger people do). Once he misses that window he may well have to find a way to Aus on his own merits and that isn't always easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nohea Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 As he is on your visa but hasn't validated it, I personally would put him on a plane ASAP just to validate it because once it expires you're going to have to jump through hoops to get him a visa eventually. My own son at 16 didn't want to go to Australia due to girlfriend and big group of friends, fortunately we made the decision to put him on and now at 20 can't wait to live there. A lot changes in a couple of years at that age but you must keep his options open or you will regret it in the future. The thought of leaving behind a teenager with elderly parents, I believe would be a bad move. Kids need their parents more as teenagers than they care to realise. The responsibility would be too much for elderly parents to cope with. I don't know your son but there have been a lot of people in your position so it may be worth you going through all the old threads. I think you'll find most boys at 16 don't want to go but by 18 most have changed their minds. This is exactly what I think, and I've tried to explain he will be a different person in the next few years, it's too late for him to validate now, but even if it wasn't there was no way we could talk him into coming, we bought him a plane ticket to validate with us, I really thought I could talk him around, but the night before our departure he announced he definitely would not be coming, packed his bag and moved into mil's house, she did nothing to help as she is full if negativity as she says we will fail, it's a bad move etc, In the uk we live an hour drive from her and see her only a couple of times a year, so were not close, when we first applied I never thought we would be in this situation, I just worry that if we move here without him, then he changes his mind and is unable to get a visa we will then have to return and its such a massive upheaval for our other children, not to mention financially for us, I wasn't sure if it would have been possible to get him some type of visa later if he did have a change of heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyt Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 How frustrating for you. Do you have no time left on your visa for him to still validate? Could you not bribe him to validate if you do? Otherwise the only visa I can think of is the last remaining relative visa but I seem to think it has a 10 year waiting list, you would have to look into it though because I only know about it from reading on here. To be eligible I believe you have to have all your parents and siblings in Australia and no dependants , so you have to keep your fingers crossed he doesn't meet anyone whilst your gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 If he's missed the expiry for validation then you'll need to explore other options. One could be last remaining relative unless during that time he has a family of his own. As Snifter says, down the line his only option may be to have a skill that is required at that time. Have a chat to a registered migration agent, although of course their info will be current to how things are now - they won't be able to project what might be available a couple of years down the line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nohea Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 Thank you, I will have a look at the last relative visa, were just finding it difficult thinking that if we do decide to move we will be so far apart and no way of being together if he wanted to, I'm not sure how I would cope with this long term, his validation expires on 8th November so no chance of that happening. If any one knows of anyone who has been in a similar situation it would be good to know how things turned out, I'm just finding it really upsetting, my husband doesn't seem phased by it at all, I think I'm on my own with worrying about how to sort this one out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckleface Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 I could be missing something here and I apologise in advance if I am. If he was my son and still had until the 8th to validate I would be pulling rank and getting him on the next available flight after a none too subtle lecture about the grief and worry he was causing me by not ensuring his options remained open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Sorry hun. I feel for you but.................he didn't want to validate? He wouldn't even consider a holiday with you? It's your life now..............he's on his way to manhood and will have to learn by his mistakes, and you shouldn't have to carry the can for those mistakes. Seems like he's got the "freedom bit" between his teeth and your worrying, although understood and natural, won't change a thing. Sometimes we have to let go and hope they'll "retuen to the fold" later. When they want to, then it's their problem to find out how to, and shouldn't be your burden. Sorry if I sound insensitive, but I've been through it with 3 lads, tore my hair out to no avail, but eventuially, they all came out the other side................yours will too hopefully. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Up till he 30 or so he can do a short term stint on a WHV. He can do a year and then a second year if he does his regional work. And possibly find someone to sponsor him once there if he has a trade/skill in demand etc. I do think Johndoe has a point also. Yes your son is young but if he even refused to validate to at least give himself options further down the road, to a point now he is going to have to get on and make the most of his life. You can't put your life on hold, nor should you because he chose to not go with you for a holiday to validate. He may regret it later but there, sometimes those things make us stronger and more determined and mould us to become better people and strive harder as we get older. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nohea Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 I could be missing something here and I apologise in advance if I am. If he was my son and still had until the 8th to validate I would be pulling rank and getting him on the next available flight after a none too subtle lecture about the grief and worry he was causing me by not ensuring his options remained open. He's 16 so in the uk legally able to leave home if he wished, at 16 we are not able to force him onto a plane against his will, he's had plenty of lectures but being an immature 16 year old that thinks they know it all in his mind he has made his choice, he's too immature to realise how this impacts on the rest of the family, I asked one if his school teachers to have a word with him and she basically said, if he doesn't want to go that's his choice, and she could understand why he wouldn't want to go! I just wanted to know if there was any options for the future should the situation change, maybe it will, maybe it won't but I'm sure in 5 or 10 years his view of the world will be very different Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kazzarazza Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Hi Nohea, I feel for you. Is there no way you can plead with him to get on the first cheapest flight this week to validate. Even if he turns straight back around on the next plane it will be enough. If not, then you have to accept that he has made his choice. There will always be options for him in the future but it might take him a long time and this is something he will have to be prepared for. What are his plans? Is he going to college? Does he have a job or know what he wants to do when you've gone. He would need a skill to emigrate on his own. How is he going to keep himself if he is not working? If he is still going to be financially dependant on you then you should have a say in what he is doing - just try you best to get him on a plane this week. Good luck, Kazza Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nohea Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 Hi Nohea, I feel for you. Is there no way you can plead with him to get on the first cheapest flight this week to validate. Even if he turns straight back around on the next plane it will be enough. If not, then you have to accept that he has made his choice. There will always be options for him in the future but it might take him a long time and this is something he will have to be prepared for. What are his plans? Is he going to college? Does he have a job or know what he wants to do when you've gone. He would need a skill to emigrate on his own. How is he going to keep himself if he is not working? If he is still going to be financially dependant on you then you should have a say in what he is doing - just try you best to get him on a plane this week. Good luck, Kazza it won't happen unfortunately, he's doing exam resits at the moment, he's got a job in a cafe and says he plans to go to college in January when he works out what he wants to do, he's living with my husbands mum which I think she likes as its company for her and so she's not exactly encouraging him to leave, even if I managed to talk him into validation we wouldn't be able to get his passport to him in time, I'm sure things will work themselves out in the future, and if I find being apart a big problem I can alway come back to the uk having tried, and if he decides it is for him in the future then he is young enough to get the relevant qualifications, maybe I need to accept that things don't always turn out the way you plan, thank you to everyone for your comments and advice it gives me options and things to think about, thanks again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyt Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Bit of a long shot but why don't you contact immigration to see if you could get a couple of weeks extension to allow him to validate. Then bribe him with driving lessons/ car next year if he validates, expensive but probably cheaper in the long run. The teacher sounds really helpful, I'm sure she's probably spent a lot of time with teenagers to know how awkward but changeable they are, she should have been more supportive. Tell him all he needs to do is set foot in Oz then fly straight back, then he can do what he likes. He probably thinks that by validating he would have to move there, as opposed to keeping his options open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 You have a bit longer when you could still get him a child visa, but that would need validating too and if he won't go then that would be wasted as well. I would try to bribe him to get him to fly in and out before the 8th, ask him what would it take. This story is such an old one, seen it so many times and the stroppy teenager always changes his or her mind but never until it is too late. Unfortunately once your son is independent from you, he will have to find a way to get his own visa to join you should he wish too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lebourvellec Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 If he doesnt validate his visa the chance of you being able to sponsor him for a visa would be very difficult. Currently the waiting time for the LRR visa is now 15 years, and thats for applications that have just been lodged. Being in a relationship would likely make him ineligible for the visa as all family members must live in Australia, and partners family is taking in to consideration. There is a child visa but it would be best for this to be applied before he turns 18, after that you would need to show alot of evidence that is is financially dependent on you for all his basic needs. After that he would need to be eligible for his own visa in the future, but with GSM program changing and getting more difficult unless doing a profession like engineering or medicine it would be difficult to say if he would be eligible for any visa in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 You will need to check it out - but if you take Oz citizenship - I don't see why your son wouldn't obtain citizenship by descent. Hi at the moment me, oh, and 3 children are weighing up whether or not we think we could make a go of it in Perth, there's a lot to consider, financial, education, jobs etc. but the main thing that I think is keeping me undecided is the fact that our 16 year old wants to stay in the uk with my mil, is anyone else in a similar situation or know how difficult it would be in the future for him to obtain a visa and join us? This is not something that would happen anytime soon but I would like to think in the future he would have a change of heart and we could all be together, I'm not sure what type of visa he would need or if it even exists or is possible, does anyone know what options there are? Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freesia Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 knowing how difficult it must be to even raise the discussion (again & again) with a teenager....I would suggest that you actually write him a list of all the issues people have pointed out on here.....& summarise with how much easier it would be for all of you if he would just see the sense in a quick validation trip. And just how many years it will take him to sort it out himself if he leaves it. Photocopy it...& keep it for the day when he says "why didn't you tell me I was forfeiting such an important option?" & get him to read this thread & others where people are finding it takes them years & $$$$$$$ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kazzarazza Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 You will need to check it out - but if you take Oz citizenship - I don't see why your son wouldn't obtain citizenship by descent. He wouldn't get that once he's turned 18. He's on his own after that. Anyway, I think to apply by descent a parent needs to have been born in Australia, not just lived there and applied for citizenship. We are citizens, but our daughter had to apply as a skilled migrant, with our sponsorship. So far she has been waiting for just over 4 years!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lebourvellec Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 You will need to check it out - but if you take Oz citizenship - I don't see why your son wouldn't obtain citizenship by descent. not possible - person need to be citizen when child is born or eligible for decent when child is born. If someone get citizen by decent after child is born, this person must have lived in Australia for 2 years before can pass on citizenship by decent to a child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 No - you don't have to have been born in Oz to pass on Citizenship by descent. But you do have to have been a citizen at the time of the child's birth - so no - this wouldn't have been possible. He wouldn't get that once he's turned 18. He's on his own after that. Anyway, I think to apply by descent a parent needs to have been born in Australia, not just lived there and applied for citizenship. We are citizens, but our daughter had to apply as a skilled migrant, with our sponsorship. So far she has been waiting for just over 4 years!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 I could be missing something here and I apologise in advance if I am. If he was my son and still had until the 8th to validate I would be pulling rank and getting him on the next available flight after a none too subtle lecture about the grief and worry he was causing me by not ensuring his options remained open. That sounds really tough, but its exactly what I did with my 16 year old daughter. She was adamant she was not coming, she hated me and she refused point blank to pack her stuff, so 11 pm the night before we left, I went into her room and threw everything into suitcases and told her she was coming, full stop. She came cried all the way from when we left the door until we got to our rental. She then ran into her bedroom, locked herself in her room and didnt come out (apart from meal and loo breaks) for two weeks, when she did she said she hated it, everything smelt, the people and food were lame! Guess what? 2.5. years later shes still on Australia, she has earned enough money to be able to fly back to the UK, but is using it to fly to Hawaii with her friends in the New Year. She now lives in Brisbane and although she misses her friends in the UK she loves it and has no plans to go back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyt Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 That sounds really tough, but its exactly what I did with my 16 year old daughter. She was adamant she was not coming, she hated me and she refused point blank to pack her stuff, so 11 pm the night before we left, I went into her room and threw everything into suitcases and told her she was coming, full stop. She came cried all the way from when we left the door until we got to our rental. She then ran into her bedroom, locked herself in her room and didnt come out (apart from meal and loo breaks) for two weeks, when she did she said she hated it, everything smelt, the people and food were lame! Guess what? 2.5. years later shes still on Australia, she has earned enough money to be able to fly back to the UK, but is using it to fly to Hawaii with her friends in the New Year. She now lives in Brisbane and although she misses her friends in the UK she loves it and has no plans to go back. You did the right thing, I think until they are 18 you are responsible for them so you get to make the decisions. I'm sure if you'd left her behind she would never have forgiven you. Being a parent is tough but sometimes tough love is needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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