What's stopping you leaving?

[abz123]

Threads pop up quite regularly from people who are unhappy or unsettled in Oz and want to go back to the UK, but for those that have made the decision, what's keeping you here?

 

Is it partners / family / children's schooling / property to sell, something else?

 

Obviously it's not a decision taken lightly but why are you still here?

[Quoll]

Australian husband.

[Guest moonsurfer]

1. Fear (more particularly not being able to find 'a job'...)

2. Apathy (it's not great here but could I support myself as a single person if I moved back (see reason 1)

:wink::mad:

[Alipally]

Well, I'm sure that this isn't an original reason and as yet the decision is still to be made one way or another...

My only reason for dithering and not just packing up and heading off, is our 18 yr old son. He doesn't want to leave, and now I can't make him. He's a second year apprentice and loves his life here.

The big question is will he be able to cope without us? I suppose that the only way to answer that is to let him....

For me jobs are easy to come by anywhere and I already have something lined up should I go back. Plus DH has a great offer of employment...

Anyone got a crystal ball where I can see the future of both possible realities????

[byrned]

Daughter in uni 2nd year student, loves it here she is 20 but still needs us son now 13 and loves it here as well, so I suppose it is the children keeping us here, I admire people who come and go within the first year, I wish I would have done that instead of my dithering always thinking give it a bit longer it will get better, listening to other people saying oh you should give it at least 2yrs, the older your children are coming here and the longer you leave it the more settled they become the harder it is to return.

[Rodfan]

Daughter in uni 2nd year student, loves it here she is 20 but still needs us son now 13 and loves it here as well, so I suppose it is the children keeping us here, I admire people who come and go within the first year, I wish I would have done that instead of my dithering always thinking give it a bit longer it will get better, listening to other people saying oh you should give it at least 2yrs, the older your children are coming here and the longer you leave it the more settled they become the harder it is to return.

 

 

Ditto, Ditto...in almost the same predicament. Knew within 6 months, was not going to be for me and had made a major MISTAKE almost 5yrs here, tried going back in 2007. Never worked out due to OH and Son wanting to return, felt we couldn't leave a 19 yr old to return on his own to OZ. Still hoping to return to U.K..before I get too old...can I live with one foot on each side of the world that's the dilemma???

[Guest The Ropey HOFF]

Hi everyone

 

we are in the predicament of trying to decide when, or even if we should go to Australia. We have been twice to Perth and Brisbane and without doubt it is fantastic and we all loved both places, well whats not to love.

 

BUT....................... loving a place on long visits and actually going to live there is the problem, me i want to go, my wife loved it, but can't decide, our two kids don't want to go. Our points of issue are as follows.

 

Missing family, this cannot be realised until you are there and it is our biggest worry.

Fear. Of the unknown and Fear of failing.

Happy in the uk and really well off with good jobs.

The weather - hate the cold in the uk, but...........will it be too hot in Brisbane?

At 50 and 44, are we getting too old to do it?

Our kids are 15 and 12 and the wife is worried about their education, i say what future is there in the uk, due to wage reductions and freezes and pensions being reduced massively and terms and conditions of work being depleted, plus the real lack of good job opportunities on offer.

 

Everyone is different and like us living in a family unit of 4, we all have different thoughts and views and just how do you decide what is the right decision?

[byrned]

Hi everyone

 

we are in the predicament of trying to decide when, or even if we should go to Australia. We have been twice to Perth and Brisbane and without doubt it is fantastic and we all loved both places, well whats not to love.

 

BUT....................... loving a place on long visits and actually going to live there is the problem, me i want to go, my wife loved it, but can't decide, our two kids don't want to go. Our points of issue are as follows.

 

Missing family, this cannot be realised until you are there and it is our biggest worry.

Fear. Of the unknown and Fear of failing.

Happy in the uk and really well off with good jobs.

The weather - hate the cold in the uk, but...........will it be too hot in Brisbane?

At 50 and 44, are we getting too old to do it?

Our kids are 15 and 12 and the wife is worried about their education, i say what future is there in the uk, due to wage reductions and freezes and pensions being reduced massively and terms and conditions of work being depleted, plus the real lack of good job opportunities on offer.

 

Everyone is different and like us living in a family unit of 4, we all have different thoughts and views and just how do you decide what is the right decision?

 

You have one huge dilemma, rather you then me, regarding your kids and education it will be the same there as it is here, depends on the kids and what they want, are they uni material, uni's here uni's there no difference, same opps for them in uk as well as in oz, I see no difference to what my kids do here and how they live their life then their cousins back in the uk, who are split all over the uk from the north to the south. You seem to have really good jobs, you will have to remember when you come to oz you are the immigrant, and what ever work you get you may well end up at the bottom of the ladder in your position, you cannot judge a country on coming out for an holiday, you have to live it, new job, new home, new friends, no family around you, expensive to go back to blighty for holidays for a family of 4, I for one say it is no different to living in the uk, the weather is better which is a plus, the negative is no family. All I can say to you is because of your age and your life in uk for you and your children think very carefully.

[Guest hels]

All we are waiting for is my visa to come through and the house to sell, which i think will take forever (the house not the visa), otherwise we are ready to go as soon as we can escape this county :laugh:

[Guest The Ropey HOFF]

You have one huge dilemma, rather you then me, regarding your kids and education it will be the same there as it is here, depends on the kids and what they want, are they uni material, uni's here uni's there no difference, same opps for them in uk as well as in oz, I see no difference to what my kids do here and how they live their life then their cousins back in the uk, who are split all over the uk from the north to the south. You seem to have really good jobs, you will have to remember when you come to oz you are the immigrant, and what ever work you get you may well end up at the bottom of the ladder in your position, you cannot judge a country on coming out for an holiday, you have to live it, new job, new home, new friends, no family around you, expensive to go back to blighty for holidays for a family of 4, I for one say it is no different to living in the uk, the weather is better which is a plus, the negative is no family. All I can say to you is because of your age and your life in uk for you and your children think very carefully.

 

 

Hi byrned

 

and cheers for that you are right about the age thing we have been seriously thinking about emigrating for alot of years now and when i hit the big 5-0 i thought - am i too old? Who knows.

The bit about the immigrants, i can imagine it happens in some jobs, but in our government jobs i don't think it would be an issue.

The part about not being able to judge a country by just being on holiday, there is some truth in that, but the fact is most of the dozens of places we visited were fantastic, new areas, not all of them, with fabulous houses and outdoor facilities barbecue and play areas and warm outdoor swimming pools, you don't have to live there to know 100% that the lifestyle is better than cold grey dreary Dewsbury in Yorkshire where we live.

And yes the family thing is the main problem and i can imagine it is the same for most people emigrating.

I wouldn't be so certain myself about emigrating and risking leaving our good well paid jobs, if i wasn't certain that job prospects were better in Australia, i know some will disagree, but things are very dire work wise in the uk and there is less chance now than ever before of getting a good well paid job, with good terms and conditions with a decent pension at the end of it. This is how bad things are and its not a uk bashing thing it is an unfortunate fact of life here at present and good job prospects are far better in Australia and we have to take that on board when making our final decision.

[Guest jewels1356]

well from my aspect we are diffrent all expect diffrent things (shouldnt expect anythink) but my new life is soooooooooooooo much better then the old one apart from my familey and a few very dear freinds xx so i wish you all luck and happines in what you choose to do

julie xxx

[Guest KAS]

I worked for the Goverment back in the UK, but I have to be a citizen here.:arghh: which will be in 3 years. If I had known this before making the decision to emmigrate, I woukd have thought long and hard. I'm struggling to find any work here as I'm not 'Experienced'

[Guest Lowther]

I went back to the Uk 2 weeks ago for the first time after living here for 22months and I sat with family and freinds and decided that if you could live here for 6 mths then in uk for 6 mnths per year that would be the answer to my dreams.

But really the grass is always greener on the otherside! I have now decided for me and my kids I have made the right decsion for now! But the biggest thing that hit me was the dome and gloom in the Uk they all need to take a chill pill and be a little happier about life. Good luck to anyone going home but welcome to all of those arriving here!

[Daffod1lly]

Hi everyone

 

we are in the predicament of trying to decide when, or even if we should go to Australia. We have been twice to Perth and Brisbane and without doubt it is fantastic and we all loved both places, well whats not to love.

 

Everyone is different and like us living in a family unit of 4, we all have different thoughts and views and just how do you decide what is the right decision?

 

To be honest ... at the end of the day, as much as you think out every scenario and research every aspect of life here - it will always be a risk! We've been here for 4 weeks and love it at the moment. Whether we will still love it in 6 months or a year ..... I have no idea. We too did the reccie - about 18 months ago - and fell in love with the place, but were always aware that we were in holiday mode. We had deep conversations about our plans and tried to cover every angle but ultimately, it came to that decision to 'take the plunge'. We only have one son and no family here but thankfully he has been so positive throughout (long may it last!). It may well have been a very different scenario if we'd had to fight to get him on board. We are doing this because we know we would regret not giving it a go - but still remember that moment where the thinking/deliberating had to become a yes or a no! No easy choice :daydreaming:

[Daffod1lly]

Threads pop up quite regularly from people who are unhappy or unsettled in Oz and want to go back to the UK, but for those that have made the decision, what's keeping you here?

 

Is it partners / family / children's schooling / property to sell, something else?

 

Obviously it's not a decision taken lightly but why are you still here?

 

Now .... going back to the OP .....

Mine will have to be from a future perspective .... as we have been here only four weeks :goofy: For us, while we were discussing the possibilities of a move to Oz, we thought long and hard about the possible outcomes of whether things would work or not. One of our concerns has always been that one of us would settle and the other would want to return to the UK. We also considered the impact of our son settling so well that he might be badly affected by a return to the UK. While he is still young, he has been so supportive throughout our move here - we are not sure we could easily uproot him again if he settled better than we did. We do wonder how easily we could make decisions for the family again if our decision to emigrate is not a permanent one.

[Que Sera Sera]

To be honest ... at the end of the day, as much as you think out every scenario and research every aspect of life here - it will always be a risk! We've been here for 4 weeks and love it at the moment. Whether we will still love it in 6 months or a year ..... I have no idea. We too did the reccie - about 18 months ago - and fell in love with the place, but were always aware that we were in holiday mode. We had deep conversations about our plans and tried to cover every angle but ultimately, it came to that decision to 'take the plunge'. We only have one son and no family here but thankfully he has been so positive throughout (long may it last!). It may well have been a very different scenario if we'd had to fight to get him on board. We are doing this because we know we would regret not giving it a go - but still remember that moment where the thinking/deliberating had to become a yes or a no! No easy choice :daydreaming:

 

Yes the same as us we have been south of Perth now for 4 weeks, do we know if we have made the right choice now...yes absolutly !...will it change in 2 years...how do we know. Thats the point I am afraid reccie or not ( and I do think they are overated unless you have to do them for validation reasons ) unless you try it how the heck do you know?:wideeyed:

[Guest christi]

Threads pop up quite regularly from people who are unhappy or unsettled in Oz and want to go back to the UK, but for those that have made the decision, what's keeping you here?

 

Is it partners / family / children's schooling / property to sell, something else?

 

Obviously it's not a decision taken lightly but why are you still here?

 

Our hold up, is getting our finances in order, selling properties,and also making sure we get the best deals on removals, pet transport, and everything else involved with going home

We were very naive when we came out, and probaly did not get the best deals we could

Plus my hubby has some contracts he has to fufil, which will give us the money to live comftably when we get home......well at least thats what we are hoping:biggrin::jiggy:

[Petals]

If you migrate for the children and lots say they do then I guess the if the children settle, like living in Aus then you have succeeded in your quest.

 

Parents have been sacrificing for their children for hundreds of years and nothing changes.

 

My mum never settled until we had the children and then turned round and became a citizen so surprised when they did that. Priorities changed. Not looking back but looking forward.

[harrisj67]

Hi everyone

 

we are in the predicament of trying to decide when, or even if we should go to Australia. We have been twice to Perth and Brisbane and without doubt it is fantastic and we all loved both places, well whats not to love.

 

BUT....................... loving a place on long visits and actually going to live there is the problem, me i want to go, my wife loved it, but can't decide, our two kids don't want to go. Our points of issue are as follows.

 

Missing family, this cannot be realised until you are there and it is our biggest worry.

Fear. Of the unknown and Fear of failing.

Happy in the uk and really well off with good jobs.

The weather - hate the cold in the uk, but...........will it be too hot in Brisbane?

At 50 and 44, are we getting too old to do it?

Our kids are 15 and 12 and the wife is worried about their education, i say what future is there in the uk, due to wage reductions and freezes and pensions being reduced massively and terms and conditions of work being depleted, plus the real lack of good job opportunities on offer.

 

Everyone is different and like us living in a family unit of 4, we all have different thoughts and views and just how do you decide what is the right decision?

I can only sympathize with your situation; coming out to Oz IS a big upheaval (even for a couple who are both 100% committed as we were 10 years ago) and it IS NOT a panacea. Don’t get me wrong I love Australia...I really do; the people, the weather, houses are not cheap, but you’ll often get more for your money, I could go on. If there is significant doubt before leaving then there is a good chance that doubt will grow, as expectations are not met – most of us still have to work, most of us still have to drive through traffic (yes, I agree it’s not that bad!) or use public transport, most have to use the state education system which is certainly not as rigorous as the UK (I work in the sector, and cannot get used to no national certificate system for 15/16 year olds; yes the UK system is far from perfect!), and so on.

HOWEVER...how do you know how it will be unless you’ve given it a go? It’s called risk-taking. If you never give it a go then you’ll always have that niggling thought in the back of your head; “What if?” The important thing to do is communicate and it has to be a joint decision and NO RECRIMINATIONS if Australia is not for you as a family unit. Remember, being here is not necessarily a lifelong commitment. My wife and I still love it here in Melbourne, but there is a good chance we’ll go back. What we have lost financially by coming over, is far outweighed by the experience; the best bit is our two Aussie boys. I don’t know your circumstances, but I say give it a go, if you can persuade the rest of the family.

Now to the original point, what is stopping us come back?

- Fear of the UKs depressed job market;

- Fear of the UK economic situation;

- Lack of appreciation of the housing market in the UK;

- Where do we live?

That’s it really...

[rivergum]

Hi, wouldn't worry about the age thing. We came out 3 months ago.I'm 43 and OH is 52. Gave up a very good lifestyle in Uk and can't see us regretting it in the long run. Some people say better weather isn't the be all and end all,but it is to us as I found that living inside allthe time wasn't any life. I did try to dress up warm and get out and about anyway in uk but cold weather and damp just aggravated my asthma and I was getting bronchitis on a regular basis. I have felt far better since being here and not a day goes past that I am not out and about,feel a lot fitter. My OH only regret is that he didn't come out years ago

[Burnett]

The Other Half and I have been in Oz for longer than many have been alive, lol

 

You'd think we'd be resigned to Oz by now. And sure, it's not that bad. Problem is, it's not 'home' for us. We're European. We don't thrill to millions of miles of desert and scrub with nothing in between. Our spirits long for winding lanes, for seasons, for small villages in between larger towns. For us, a thing of beauty is on a smaller scale, the intimacy of European landscapes, unique regions with their foods, dialects and customs, rather than massive empty Australian States.

 

If it were just dear OH and me, we'd be gone from Oz tomorrow and you wouldn't be able to wipe the smiles from our dials

 

But we had children. And apart from feeling every splinter they might get in their finger (loving someone more than you love even yourself) -- we worry about the future - their future. Even though they're adults

 

Our worry about the future isn't what you might think. It's not that we worry about UK pensions. Oh no. It's Australian pensions and specifically as they may well affect those little fruits of our loins (gee, that was a long time ago !) that we worry about

 

I'm wondering how many people remember the American 'important person' who spoke on Channel Two, back in the mid-90s, and virtually wagged his finger in the faces of Aussie viewers and told them that Australia could not afford to keep paying aged pensions ? He said Australia could not continue supporting single-mothers and the unemployed, either, in the same breath, just by the way. Apparently Australia can afford to pay non-English speaking, unskilled, unemployable and rapidly breeding migrants from the sub-continent, Africa and the Middle East, however. But that's another issue, isn't it ?

 

Anyway, I *do* remember that American individual. I remember his snow-white hair and square face and grating accent and very abrasive, arrogant manner. And not ONE Aussie political puppet OR journalist took that American to task or uttered a word in contradiction. Not one

 

Thousands of hours of Channel Two have passed under the bridge since then and I don't bother retaining them in memory (I buy the CDs and watch them at leisure, instead). But that American bothered me then and what he said continues to bother me

 

What he said and the fact he dared say it at all, demonstrates one thing very clearly -- Australian politicians and governments are merely expensive puppetry. They don't make the decisions. Otherwise, no American 'spokesperson' would dare or be stupid enough to lay down the law to Australians about what they allegedly can and cannot afford

 

What I took away from that American's arrogant dictatorship (apart from high blood pressure) was the belief that the writing was on the wall. The future had been decided. And that future, in addition to mandatory superannuation, spelled poverty for future Aussie aged-pensioners

 

Our children have secure employment right now. They pay mandatory super. But as we've seen and as most of us predicted back when mandatory super was introduced -- those super funds have a way of being 'tragically lost' periodically, by those supposedly entrusted with them - courtesy of orchestrated 'global financial collapses'

 

OH and I are old-school. I could sew burlap sacks or banana-tree leaves to make clothing, furniture covers, curtains, bedding, if necessary. OH is handy too and can turn his hand to anything. We could be happy as larks on toast and vegemite and walks in the rain, living in a two man tent, at a push

 

Our kids though are not chips from the old blocks at all. We tried to give them the childhood we thought we wished we'd had, and to spare them the problems we'd encountered. We spared the rod. Ok, we spoiled them a bit. Not materially, but by failing to ensure/insist they learned to live like cave-men, the way we could if required to

 

If OH and I upped and left for Europe, it would take everything we've amassed to date, because --- now how 'convenient' is this -- the UK does not award pensions to returned ex-Pats, apparently. Something like that. And Italy, where OH hails from originally, only pays aged-pensions to those who've contributed to the Italian coffers via tax for decades ... you get out what you've put in, over there. The upshot of all this is, we'd need to sell up in Oz and take everything with us, in order to support ourselves in Europe until we dropped off the perch. And where would that leave our nice but un-handy offspring if/when the Americans decided conclusively that Australia 'could no longer afford' to support aged-pensioners ?

 

Could we enjoy ourselves in Europe, knowing we were spending our children's inheritance in order to support ourselves ? In light of the proposed discontinuance of aged-pensions in Oz ? No, we couldn't. We've managed to live reasonably happily in Oz all this time, so we can do the same to the finish-line, rather than depart the planet knowing our kids could be forced to live under railway bridges when they're our age

 

So here's the question: does anyone in the UK now (or Brits in Oz) remember arrogant Americans appearing on BBC tv or elsewhere, insisting that Britain would not be able to continue supporting aged-pensioners ? Or is that sort of US arrogance and control only demonstrated on 'little, dependent Australia' ?

 

Laws and legislation are passed, quite often, decades before they're enacted. They just sit there quietly on the books. For example, in 2000, I came across some strange Aussie water-legislation, online. You won't believe it, most probably, but it was chapter and verse about 'rights' of Aussies to access water on their own land. This legislation declared they had no rights. No use of natural springs, even if they're on land you own, for example. No collection of rainwater on one's property, either from the roof or by other means. On and on. And the punishments were draconian.

 

Now, people will scoff and say that's ridiculous, because at the moment, Aussies are being encouraged to install rain-collection tanks, aren't they ? So what does it mean ?

 

Would you be surprised to learn that the legislation (about water collection restrictions) was passed by the Aussie Parliament in 1995 ?

 

I saved the whole document. But then had to get a new computer and then another. So I lost the document, which I'd saved. And when I tried to find it again .... couldn't

 

A few years ago, I raised the issue in an online forum. People were incredulous and said I must have misunderstood the document. Others accused me of making it all up. So it was a nice surprise when another Aussie (it was a US forum I was on) joined the discussion and said he was aware of the legislation I'd mentioned, too. He'd read it also. He'd been shocked and scared by it, like me. He said he could no longer find it either. To find it, he said, we'd need to somehow access Parliamentary archives or try to access Hansard. However, he said, much legislation that the government wants to keep away from taxpayers' eyes, is hidden away behind 'harmless' type legislation and records

 

Ok. Well, right now, people in US forums are discussing the very SAME legislation, except it applies to various US States. Someone learned they could be charged for collecting one drop of rainwater whilst on their own property, for example. Which has led to heated discussions about what this previously unknown US legislation means -- why and when was it drafted to begin with, etc. It's caused quite a commotion. And the wiser amongst the debaters are reminding people that years ago, whistle-blowers were trying to alert people to the fact that in the future --- wars would be fought over water. The recently-discovered legislation was passed decades ago, to be enacted when the water-wars kicked off. And that's how it's done -- they pass the legislation years and years in advance, but most people aren't aware. Then, when they need to enact these 'new laws', they're all sitting there, on the books, ready to roll, ready to be enforced - and the public sits there with its mouth open, trying to catch up. They're sneaky, these legislators. They're not there for our benefit

 

Call me paranoid, but I'm of the opinion that the US doesn't send a special envoy or whatever they're called, all the way to Australia in the mid-90s -- and dab him with pancake make-up and sit him behind a desk before Channel Two cameras, for nothing.

 

And those US 'experts' have nothing to gain from glaring out at the Aussie public and telling them in a nasty-headmaster's voice that they cannot continue to pay old-age pensions. But it happened. And Aussies were warned, although I wonder how many remember ?

 

Here's another. It was only last month that the Australian news reported that the US had announced that Australia would be remaining in Afghanistan for another 30 years. Did any of you catch that on tv or in the news ? The US and not the Australian Prime Minister, was dictating what Australia would do ... as much as 30 years into the future ! What's that saying ?

 

If you did catch that news item, you'd probably also be aware that the UK Prime Minister and other UK politicians were saying -- at the very same time -- that they were going to withdraw Brit troops from Afghanistan and intend to have exited completely within FIVE years.

 

Ok, who would you rather be -- Aussie troops, or Brit troops ?

 

Who would you rather decided your own and your children's future -- a Brit Prime Minister ? Or the Americans who dictate Australian policy ?

 

Worth considering, isn't it ? I've gone to the trouble to write all this basically for the benefit of those who are saying Australia promises their kids a better future and assured aged-pension, etc. Because the facts indicate this is not the case at all. Which is one of the main reasons ' stopping us from leaving ' as the title of this thread puts it (the other being doubt our children could find similarly secure careers in the UK as they currently have in Oz)

 

 

Edit: popped back in re: the Aussie/UK pension issue, which I messed up originally. What I should have said is that Aussies resident in the UK are not entitled to an Australian aged-pension. We are both Australian citizens. Don't imagine I'd be entitled to an English pension, even though I was born in the UK. Whatever the case, looks as if we'd have to support ourselve entirely, were we to move there

[Skani]

Edit: popped back in re: the Aussie/UK pension issue, which I messed up originally. What I should have said is that Aussies resident in the UK are not entitled to an Australian aged-pension. We are both Australian citizens.

 

That's incorrect. You can be paid the Australian pension if you are living outside Australia permanently - see

Leaving Australia Permanently

and scroll down to

Age Pension

 

The subject became topical after the one off "stimulus" payment was made to pensioners in December 2008 to help boost the retail economy. It was pointed out that much of the money was paid to Australian pensioners now living overseas and would therefore not help the local economy at all.

[Guest Locksley]

Show me a link where the USA said Oz military will be in the Ghan in 30 years?

[northernbird]

I worked for the Goverment back in the UK, but I have to be a citizen here.:arghh: which will be in 3 years. If I had known this before making the decision to emmigrate, I woukd have thought long and hard. I'm struggling to find any work here as I'm not 'Experienced'

 

Depends which part of the Government doesn't it?? I work for a Govt department and was long before I was a citizen,

[Quoll]

That's incorrect. You can be paid the Australian pension if you are living outside Australia permanently - see

Leaving Australia Permanently

and scroll down to

Age Pension

 

The subject became topical after the one off "stimulus" payment was made to pensioners in December 2008 to help boost the retail economy. It was pointed out that much of the money was paid to Australian pensioners now living overseas and would therefore not help the local economy at all.

 

Yes the pension one is convoluted. Some countries have a social security arrangement with Australia eg Italy and, I think, Greece amongst others so people who have lived here at some time are eligible for all sorts of things.

 

Britain on the other hand does not have that reciprocity but according to someone I spoke to in Centrelink quite recently, as long as you have already applied for your aged pension then it will go with you overseas however after 26 weeks absence it is adjusted and is pro-rata-ed for how long you have been in Australia since the age of 16 (ie percentage of your nominal working life I suppose). You have to have been resident in Australia for the 2 years preceding your application for the pension.

 

Far better to be Greek http://www.centrelink.gov.au/internet/internet.nsf/filestores/int032_0811/$file/int032_0811en.pdf