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So who HAS returned to the UK & been happy?


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Guest John Locke
Hi, I think you put that really brilliantly and apologies if my original message was harsh... the only one small minor detail I would mention that Janieco calls UK "home" .... pretty emotive....perhaps leaving UK at the age of 10 and then spending the next 35 years in Australia... is there no happy medium between zombie like state and encouraging the children down their own path... even though we are emigrating to oz I would love my kids to come back to Europe to travel, study (if I can afford it) work here, see their rellies and if they tell me I was a fool to leave I will have to deal with that... perhaps Janieco's post hit a nerve with me because my eldest is 10... I could be setting him up for a life like Janieco, unhappy, displaced etc... who knows if we are doing the right thing but research has to be key surely... the rest is down to all of us to make it work. Good luck Janieco ... I hope all goes well for you.:cool:

 

I don`t think your post was harsh at all, I was just apllying my point of view to your comments.....Obviously I can`t speak for janieco and the term 'go home' was my own, but I would say that even though janienco may have left the U.K. at ten and grown up in Oz...conciously or subconciously maybe, there`s no reason why it couldn`t, or shouldn`t, be refered to, or even thought of, as home...

Don`t mind me and my zombie state, it`s been a looong 7 yrs, very nearly eight, and we fly back to the U.K in Nov...lots of weird emotions running high!!! Don`t worry too much about your eldest, no one knows how things will work out until we are actually doing the things we spend so much time worrying about beforehand....good luck and all the best with your move to Oz...

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Guest siamsusie

we fly back to the U.K in Nov.. Just to say have a very safe flight home John, exciting times ahead for you, it will be interesting watching your treads back in the UK ss xx

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Guest gail.crease
Iam new to this site so sorry if iam not doing this right. I came to Oz when i was 10 yrs old back in 1974. I never felt i belonged here and have been back 3 times but its been 25 years since the last time. Iam now in a position to return home, buy a home and have money left over GREAT. My parents dont want to go back, my 2 kids 16yrs and 5yrs have never been and dont seem keen to go. Is there anybody like me who still longs for the feeling of belonging, its so hard to explain but iam not at peace here i have all ways had a feeling of iam just waiting for some thing, iam empty here Iam also worried i will be displaced back home as i have been away so long. My parents are crancking up the guilt factor claiming iam going to split my kids up and its cruel to inflict this on them when they have a life here, that life in the uk would be unbearable for them. Is it ever the right time ??? When i have been home in the past i loose all memory of oz, its like i have never been here....would be grateful for any help with this, iam 45 now and i feel its now or never to get a life happening in the uk. Iam originally from The Wirral in Mersyside and would move back there.

 

I grew up in the Wirral and I wish I could have grown up in Australia as it was really bad for a while. So don't feel bad that you were dragged away. The 80s were dire. No-one had work, the local council was almost bankrupt and the district got very run down, the council estates were controlled by the drug dealers, I remember riots on these estates, people were scavenging down the dump in Birkenhead to find anything they could sell to get by, violent crime and robbery was sky high. The joke used to be if it wasn't bolted down it get robbed...I could go on and on. I left in '89 at the age of 20 swearing I'd never go back. 20 years on it's a completely different place. There's been a lot of investment in the area since Liverpool was made European Cultural city and now property prices rival the south of England especially on the River Dee side. My mum's bought an apartment overlooking the beach which would rival a few places in Oz. I'm amazed at how much it has changed since I lived there. You wouldn't recognise the place now.

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I don`t think your post was harsh at all, I was just apllying my point of view to your comments.....Obviously I can`t speak for janieco and the term 'go home' was my own, but I would say that even though janienco may have left the U.K. at ten and grown up in Oz...conciously or subconciously maybe, there`s no reason why it couldn`t, or shouldn`t, be refered to, or even thought of, as home...

Don`t mind me and my zombie state, it`s been a looong 7 yrs, very nearly eight, and we fly back to the U.K in Nov...lots of weird emotions running high!!! Don`t worry too much about your eldest, no one knows how things will work out until we are actually doing the things we spend so much time worrying about beforehand....good luck and all the best with your move to Oz...

 

I remember talking to an old woman in Oz , who i presumed to be Aussie .

Until she informed me that she left Liverpool aged 6 , and reminised about the snow , referring to the UK as " home"

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Guest LukeSkywalker
I remember talking to an old woman in Oz , who i presumed to be Aussie .

Until she informed me that she left Liverpool aged 6 , and reminised about the snow , referring to the UK as " home"

 

Its funny that isn't it? My aunt emigrated to the US in 1946 (GI bride) and only this week told me how much she missed "home". For me its different. Home is where I feel happy at any moment in time. I genuinely love the UK, but I really do think it will take 5-10 years to recover from this current mess. It will recover, but at 45 I fancy an adventure!!

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I don`t think your post was harsh at all, I was just apllying my point of view to your comments.....Obviously I can`t speak for janieco and the term 'go home' was my own, but I would say that even though janienco may have left the U.K. at ten and grown up in Oz...conciously or subconciously maybe, there`s no reason why it couldn`t, or shouldn`t, be refered to, or even thought of, as home...

Don`t mind me and my zombie state, it`s been a looong 7 yrs, very nearly eight, and we fly back to the U.K in Nov...lots of weird emotions running high!!! Don`t worry too much about your eldest, no one knows how things will work out until we are actually doing the things we spend so much time worrying about beforehand....good luck and all the best with your move to Oz...

 

John , our thoughts are with you - you are coming back to Dark , "not so" cold, rain , busy, traffic .

Interestingly i watched " pommypauls" video ,wth him on his motobike ......as soon as i saw the ozzie " bush" & dirt tracks , i thought " sod that".

I hated the " bush" and landscape with a passion .

I loved oz , the people,the beaches etc .......but as soon as i see the bush , you may as well stick me on the moon.

Fingers crossed for you John,the Winter is not " too harsh".

WELCOME HOME - the people are great , just ordinary ,friendly people with so much to say.

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John , our thoughts are with you - you are coming back to Dark , "not so" cold, rain , busy, traffic .

Interestingly i watched " pommypauls" video ,wth him on his motobike ......as soon as i saw the ozzie " bush" & dirt tracks , i thought " sod that".

I hated the " bush" and landscape with a passion .

I loved oz , the people,the beaches etc .......but as soon as i see the bush , you may as well stick me on the moon.

Fingers crossed for you John,the Winter is not " too harsh".

WELCOME HOME - the people are great , just ordinary ,friendly people with so much to say.

 

I'm with you on the bush thing, Bunbury! Spent this last long weekend in the bush - boring as b*tsh*t doesnt even come close to describing it. An hour's drive down a dirt road to the intersection with another dirt road which takes you 45 minutes down a dirt/sealed road to a place with a mixed store. If you broke down you would have nothing individual to describe exactly where you were because it was all the bl**dy same. I guess that is one thing the UK doesnt have - boring bush!!!!

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suggest doing lots of research about the area you would move back to and look at local newspapers (via internet) and national ones and get a true, non glossy or rose coloured glasses view of the real UK.. look at Ofsted reports for schools - Uni costs (20k+ sterling) and weigh up what would be the right thing for your kids and not you... sorry its harsh but your job to protect them and make the right decision based on the whole families needs and desires.... good luck.

__________________

 

Isnt it interesting that for people wanting to come to Australia the advice is always "do what is right for you" "the kids are kids and just go along for the ride" etc. I would suggest that the reverse should be true too. An unhappy parent isnt the best thing for kids no matter where they are.

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Its funny that isn't it? My aunt emigrated to the US in 1946 (GI bride) and only this week told me how much she missed "home". For me its different. Home is where I feel happy at any moment in time. I genuinely love the UK, but I really do think it will take 5-10 years to recover from this current mess. It will recover, but at 45 I fancy an adventure!!

 

For me, home is where you have a sense of belonging and even though I have lived in several countries over the years that "belonging" has only happened for UK. I can live anywhere and enjoy it for a while no worries. I dont think I would ever say that I have been "homesick" as most folk on here describe it - but I dont "belong" here. I dont know what it is that makes me "not belong" but I have never felt that I belong - I have always lived here in that kind of limbo where my head tells me that this is where I live but my heart tells me different. There has always been a sense that I am a "foreigner" no matter how much logic I apply to the situation. There is nothing here that floats my boat any more as a "tourist" and like any good holiday there comes a time when you want to go "home". I reached that point about 10 years ago (I know, slow learner!!!) and since then have been trapped which makes it more difficult to think positively and the living in a state of semi resentment is wearing.

 

I love a good adventure and would never suggest to anyone that they shouldnt have one, life is all about opportunities and taking chances - maybe that is the problem for me, no more opportunities because I am stuck in the a*se end of the universe (an ex-PM's words btw although I do concur with him).

 

As for UK being in a mess - sure it is, as is the rest of the Western world and Aus is no exception - whilst I think Aus may be better off because of its resources I dont think they are going to be the saviour that everyone is banking on and we are being driven down the Blairite road by a load of Blairwannabee socialists who have lulled the media into a false sense of security - give Aus a few years and it will be on a par with UK 2009 in every way politically.

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Lorry drivers are urged not to drive with their arms out of the window as the breeze masks the damage being done and they have huge problems with skin cancer, if you think about it they might drive 8 hours a day with their arms getting burned.

 

Are they? I've never read a memo about that! drive for 8 hours a day :biglaugh:

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Guest flipflop
Are they? I've never read a memo about that! drive for 8 hours a day :biglaugh:

How long you been out of Australia you say, yes they are...and think about it...arm in the sun for hours = what?

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We hear about pingpongers, about the millions flooding over from the UK to Australia, but has anyone gone back and loved it, warts and all. We didn't return because we had everyone telling us 'country's gone to the dogs'. We believed them and stayed here in Sydney. We believed them, easy to do when everyone is chanting the same mantra.

 

But who's out there who thinks life's good back in Blighty?

 

I went back to UK (North Wales) to visit family last year - absolutely loved it - scenery, people, TV even shops (M&S particularly!) even fish and chips was better (I have had lovely fish & chips in OZ but its not the norm) and returning to Oz was very hard indeed - felt sick in my stomach for weeks and lost all interest in everything.... took a friend to suggest I return home for good that made me realise that I wasn't 'trapped' here (been here 14 years) so ever since then I have been making plans to return home - house on market and hope to settle sale so I can be back in time for Christmas with family.... realise it will be harder to get job than it is in Sydney and that the money won't be the same - but really don't care - after commuting 3 hours plus a day particularly in summer on often hot dirty crowded trains followed by a 20 minute walk home - well I'm just over that and about as much chance of finding work in the area where I live in OZ (can't afford to live anywhere else) is about same as finding work in North Wales. Luckily I will have made a fair bit of cash out of sale of house and moving into house with family so no more mortgage.

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I went back to UK (North Wales) to visit family last year - absolutely loved it - scenery, people, TV even shops (M&S particularly!) even fish and chips was better (I have had lovely fish & chips in OZ but its not the norm) and returning to Oz was very hard indeed - felt sick in my stomach for weeks and lost all interest in everything.... took a friend to suggest I return home for good that made me realise that I wasn't 'trapped' here (been here 14 years) so ever since then I have been making plans to return home - house on market and hope to settle sale so I can be back in time for Christmas with family.... realise it will be harder to get job than it is in Sydney and that the money won't be the same - but really don't care - after commuting 3 hours plus a day particularly in summer on often hot dirty crowded trains followed by a 20 minute walk home - well I'm just over that and about as much chance of finding work in the area where I live in OZ (can't afford to live anywhere else) is about same as finding work in North Wales. Luckily I will have made a fair bit of cash out of sale of house and moving into house with family so no more mortgage.

 

 

bring your wooly jumpers and rain mac.... pretty damp up there in Wales.... and COMPLETELY different from Sydney! Good luck xx

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bring your wooly jumpers and rain mac.... pretty damp up there in Wales.... and COMPLETELY different from Sydney! Good luck xx

 

Have to say that I can't wait for damp and cold - strange but true - bored with weather over here - I don't live anywhere near a beach as too expensive so in Summer don't get the sea breezes - last year went down south coast for day - when left home it was touching 40 degrees - got to beach down to low 30's with breeze, then southerly came in and it was a lovely mid 20's - nearing home temp back to high 30's - on with the aircon.....

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Guest John Locke
John , our thoughts are with you - you are coming back to Dark , "not so" cold, rain , busy, traffic .

Interestingly i watched " pommypauls" video ,wth him on his motobike ......as soon as i saw the ozzie " bush" & dirt tracks , i thought " sod that".

I hated the " bush" and landscape with a passion .

I loved oz , the people,the beaches etc .......but as soon as i see the bush , you may as well stick me on the moon.

Fingers crossed for you John,the Winter is not " too harsh".

WELCOME HOME - the people are great , just ordinary ,friendly people with so much to say.

 

Thanks mate, and yep, that certainly sounds like home...

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Guest treesea
Iam new to this site so sorry if iam not doing this right. I came to Oz when i was 10 yrs old back in 1974. I never felt i belonged here and have been back 3 times but its been 25 years since the last time. Iam now in a position to return home, buy a home and have money left over GREAT. My parents dont want to go back, my 2 kids 16yrs and 5yrs have never been and dont seem keen to go. Is there anybody like me who still longs for the feeling of belonging, its so hard to explain but iam not at peace here i have all ways had a feeling of iam just waiting for some thing, iam empty here Iam also worried i will be displaced back home as i have been away so long. My parents are crancking up the guilt factor claiming iam going to split my kids up and its cruel to inflict this on them when they have a life here, that life in the uk would be unbearable for them. Is it ever the right time ??? When i have been home in the past i loose all memory of oz, its like i have never been here....would be grateful for any help with this, iam 45 now and i feel its now or never to get a life happening in the uk. Iam originally from The Wirral in Mersyside and would move back there.

 

We came back five years ago, at which point I hadn't lived here for 20 years, and even then only temporarily. I hadn't lived here permanently for over 30 years. My OH and two children had never been here and came along for the ride. We had plans to live in London, where I am from, but didn't fancy it when we got here, so moved up to Edinburgh instead. My mum and brother still live over in NZ and my uncles's family live in Australia. None of them have any plans to ever come back here permanently. They all thought I was mad to come home. When we were in the process of coming back I was thinking if it really is dire, I'll just go back to Australia. No big deal. How do you know if you don't try it?

 

Well, it wouldn't have mattered how dire it is. The moment I stepped onto terra firma my first thought was "home at last, thank God". It probably helped that our prevous home was literally half a mile from Heathrow. It wouldn't have mattered what the economy was like. I could finally feel my land beneath my feet. There's nothing like that feeling when you haven't had it for a long time. Seeing the North Sea for the first time, finally being able to prove to my skeptical children that blue is not the only colour a sea can be, was magical. A silver sea, just like I remembered it. It's great to be back. So comfortable. Which kind of surprised me in some ways, given the nip in the air and the general dilapidated air about the place. Well, not so much in Scotland, which is where the money gets spent, I suppose, but I noticed it down south a lot.

Coming back home has been a bit like slipping into an old pair of shoes that fit so comfortably you never want to take them off.

 

Materially we were better off in Australia. I had close friends there and a reasonably good career. I'd just rather live here. The chocolate's better here though :-)

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Guest funkymonkey
janieco, I empathize, I really I do...I haven`t lived here quite as long as yourself, but I don`t think anyone can really understand those feelings of displacement, not belonging, unless they feel them themselves...I believe It has nothing to do with the country, it could happen anywhere , and (as the two often get confused, I think) it goes a lot deeper than homesickness!! Homesickness is about missing home, displacement is simply about not belonging...whether you miss home or not

 

If someone were to say to me that it`s my job to protect my children I would agree wholeheartedly, but I would also add that`s it`s also my job to actually be here for them and provide a happy and stable home...which isn`t going to happen if we stay here.

 

look at it in reverse...imagine you were in the U.K. and weren`t very happy there...your children weren`t too keen on moving to Oz and relatives were piling on the guilt.... I think i just described a fair amount of those awaiting there visa to Oz!!

 

You would get some great advice along the lines of 'you have to do what makes you happy.....relatives will eventually understand and kids adapt anywhere as long as you yourself are happy and, ultimately...go for it...you never know until you go etc etc, see what I mean? I would say exactly the same to you!!! You sound like you are in a great postion financially and now really is the time to go...what have you got to lose?

 

Again, like those flocking here are told ...t doesn`t have to be forever...think of it as an adventure...research, yes...just like those moving to Oz do, some without setting foot on Oz soil before they decide to make it their home...what`s the difference? Compare the cost of everything if you must, but having lived here for this long you know that while A may seem cheap you are getting ripped off by B (on a lighter note, but semi-serious, you could put your kids through Uni on what you`ll save on weekly shopping!!)

 

Get your eldest interested in England, your homeland, tell your youngest sorry matey, this is what I want and as you are only 5 you`re along for the ride...tell your parents, well you made the decision to bring me out here to start a new life...I now as a parent am making the decision to take them somewhere to start a new life...If I or my wife thought for one minute that our children`s lives would be unbearable in the U.K then we would have to come to some sort of alternative...it will be different, but far from unbearable....when I was in this situation awhile back a member called Burnett responded to my post by entirely reversing everything and ultimately made me realize how blinkered I had been and how I really was just plodding along here for all the wrong reasons...it was my wife who said if we stay here the kids won`t have a dad......such is the effect of displacement and my underlying dislike of living here....

 

I am definately not going to condescend you with all that rose tinted glasses rubbish as I think there are many moving to Oz who seem just as guilty of wearing them....you are 45, you are in a great position to go and try it out, so go, go home, start living, and then take it from there, see how things go from there....to think that I could stay here for another 20 yrs or so wondering what if this what if that fills me with absolute terror...and then on my deathbed think to myself, jeez, John Locke, what an absolute waste of life, you could have at least tried....I often envision my own children (based on their personalities, who they are, what they`re into) saying thanks for turning into a catatonic zombie on our behalf, dad, but we`re off to Europe....and then the phone call saying...we`re staying here in London, this place is great, why the hell didn`t you bring us back here years ago you old fool?

 

 

Those who decide to move to Australia are invariably given a pat on the back....those who want to move to the U.K after a number of years here in Oz are often made to feel like they are doing something wrong...They`re not. I`m not. You`re not...

 

All the best, janieco, do what you feel is right.

 

Fantastic post, this sums up my feelings in a nutshell.....So many people say "why on earth do you want to go back to Britain" even my husband says "the place is finished, you should just be able to get on with it here". I have given up explaining to him and other people how i feel, the emptiness, lack of feeling and general zombie like state i find myself in so often. It has taken me becoming pretty sick and basically telling my husband that i am going back home because its what i have to do and its up to him to come with me for him to finally agree. I know its not under the right circumstances and we will, no doubt be in for some rocky times ahead, but i must go home as the thought of being old and dying here is an unbearable thought....Thanks again for a fantastic post :arghh:

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We came back five years ago, at which point I hadn't lived here for 20 years, and even then only temporarily. I hadn't lived here permanently for over 30 years. My OH and two children had never been here and came along for the ride. We had plans to live in London, where I am from, but didn't fancy it when we got here, so moved up to Edinburgh instead. My mum and brother still live over in NZ and my uncles's family live in Australia. None of them have any plans to ever come back here permanently. They all thought I was mad to come home. When we were in the process of coming back I was thinking if it really is dire, I'll just go back to Australia. No big deal. How do you know if you don't try it?

 

Well, it wouldn't have mattered how dire it is. The moment I stepped onto terra firma my first thought was "home at last, thank God". It probably helped that our prevous home was literally half a mile from Heathrow. It wouldn't have mattered what the economy was like. I could finally feel my land beneath my feet. There's nothing like that feeling when you haven't had it for a long time. Seeing the North Sea for the first time, finally being able to prove to my skeptical children that blue is not the only colour a sea can be, was magical. A silver sea, just like I remembered it. It's great to be back. So comfortable. Which kind of surprised me in some ways, given the nip in the air and the general dilapidated air about the place. Well, not so much in Scotland, which is where the money gets spent, I suppose, but I noticed it down south a lot.

Coming back home has been a bit like slipping into an old pair of shoes that fit so comfortably you never want to take them off.

 

Materially we were better off in Australia. I had close friends there and a reasonably good career. I'd just rather live here. The chocolate's better here though :-)

MY LAND BENEATH MY FEET!!!!! Oh treesea thats it. My sole is starving for that feeling. I cryed a river when i read your post. Iam getting heaps of flack from family/friends they think iam going through some midlife crisis lol How old were your children when you returned to the U.K.? What do they feel about living there? and your hubby, iam so curious as to how to work this all out. Iam looking at going home next year for 4 weeks with my 5yr old but my 16yr old is starting the final 2 years of high school and cant take any time off. I know 4 weeks is not long enough but its all i can manage. Iam even scared i wont come back!!!!!!!!!! My daughter 16yrs has said she will do a gap year before uni in the U.K. with me and looks like i will have to sit it out till then. Either way iam in for a lot of heart ache but i cant put this off any longer. Would really appreciate feed back re your kids feelings, many thanks for now xxxx

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Guest shanklin

Well i have been back 5 mths and kids have settled ok, hubby to but were we are we cant afford a house that doesnt feel like you have sold your soul to the devil, small pokey little holes and even worse on a dull miserable day. Yes i sometimes feel like i have sunk back into that old pair of slippers, and yes the schools are much more switched on than in Oz but other than that i no longer see the appeal of being here, but niether feel the appeal in Oz other than for the warmth, so I think i will never belong anywhere and will probably go to see the dr coz the whole experience of moving back and to has worn me out.

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Fantastic post, this sums up my feelings in a nutshell.....So many people say "why on earth do you want to go back to Britain" even my husband says "the place is finished, you should just be able to get on with it here". I have given up explaining to him and other people how i feel, the emptiness, lack of feeling and general zombie like state i find myself in so often. It has taken me becoming pretty sick and basically telling my husband that i am going back home because its what i have to do and its up to him to come with me for him to finally agree. I know its not under the right circumstances and we will, no doubt be in for some rocky times ahead, but i must go home as the thought of being old and dying here is an unbearable thought....Thanks again for a fantastic post :arghh:

 

I love it when i hear people say Britain is " finished".

Imagine if Francis Drake had said that as the Armada rolled in .....or Winston Churchill stood there looking at the amassing German army across the English channel.

The great people of these islands will carry us through.

Hard work , organisation and a sense of humour ,

Its only the POLITICIANS and PC BRIGADE that i worry about

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Guest funkylad

not for long you lot, i think you are crazy for coming back to the uk, and after a couple of years you will all regret it, and your poor children have to grow up in this **** hole of a uk.

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