THORPES Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Hi, I hope someone can give us there opinions on what we should do. We made the move to Gold Coast in january this year but only stayed a month. I liked it and boys liked it but hubby had serious wobbles. It was a big change for him and he didnt realise how much. After much stress driving all over looking for work and areas to live and money running out we came back to uk. At first we were positive to be back but for the last few months we have realised we didnt try hard enough. We are all still living with my mum & dad so have no ties. We deffo want to go back. We were going to rent a house here and save more money to move back in around 12 - 18 months. The problem with this idea is we have to start again with furniture and getting boys settled. they have started new schools in different area from were we lived and although they are enjoying school, my eldest son is not settled. He doesnt play out like he used to and spends all his spare time on pc or x box. Our idea which we think is best is that my hubby goes back first in the next few weeks and secures a job. I continue to work here in uk to save my wages for another 3 months and then me and boys follow him. The problems with this idea is that we will miss each other (but it will be worth it) and also hubby has to find somewhere cheap to stay short term. He would also like to get in touch with other blokes to make some new friends. Do you think the idea of him going first is a good one and also does anyone know of cheap accomodation to stay? Thanks and sorry for the long post.:confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ozcans Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Hi I think it's a good idea! It's great to have a plan and work towards it. Go for it. Sue x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markntracey Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Glad you're giving it another go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest destinationoz Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Hiya! = I'happy to give you my opinion but its only my opinion!! Firstly I wouldn't kick yourselves for only lasting a month - we haven't done it yet but I can imagine for some people it's not easy - new country, new rules, new people, blah blah - however a month is only a short time so I reckon you should defo try it again and go with the best positive outlook you can - having done as much research as you can first - get to know the place as best you can before you take the step.... Personally I wouldn't want to go at seperate times - I think that would be harder in many ways - you'll all end up missing each other and the boys will miss their Dad ... it could be hard for your hubby to be there on his own, having to get a job, - and lots of people on here say its quite hard getting a job just now - paying another rent which you could be saving, and for him adapting to a new life without you all/his family ... it could be hard for you back here dealing with all the family issues, the boys, etc etc .... and then when you go out, you'll be at different stages of "Oz development" ... If it was me, I would stay here together as a family, supporting one another thru all times, supporting your boys thru possible difficult times with moving around, different friends etc, give yourselves time to both save up as much money as you can, research Oz togetherand take the big step together as a whole family - esp as it was difficult first time .... Ofcourse - it totally depends on you, your family, situation, the visa you got etc etc - this is JUST my thoughts if it were me ... whatever you decide - GOOD LUCK and ENJOY!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jo90 Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Hi chick! As you know we're very happy to hear that you're gonna give it another go!!! We will be there from August so we can help each other out! :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jewels1356 Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 good luck with it all julie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 You havent given a return much time either - what makes you think it would be different next time? I suspect your eldest may not have settled because the rest of you havent settled either and he perhaps senses that there is no reason for him to put down roots because you will be on the move again. I think living with your mum and dad would probably make the situation that much harder - you havent been just "your" little family doing the re-settling. If you want to try again, it might be better if you had a more substantial financial cushion to make it easier for you - nothing feeds depression like poverty. Also I dont know that the job situation here has picked up that much and despite some glowing endorsements, there are still other predictions which say things are going to be bad for quite a while so if you both have jobs right now, I'd stick with them and save up hard and move when you have a job to go to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Brendan/Mandy Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Hi Jill What trade is your hubby in & have you tried looking at jobs on the net like seek.com & careerone my hubby looked at jobs & also did his resume with carreerone before we emigrated last year. If he's qualified he may get an offer, or at least an insight to what is on offer out here b4 he goes back out. I think i(only my opinion tho) it is a good idea for him to go back if you are sure you can deal with the time apart & he has to have enough for rent, food, mobile a car for at least 3 months as it may take him that long to secure a job. When we 1st emigrated I left my OH & 2 boys in OZ with fam here for 2 months & I went back home with my 2 girls to finalise house & stuff, we did all miss each other but it was a desision that we knew would have the best outcome for us. But they did stay with fam which made thing easier, your hubby is gonna be on his own out here & he has to be confident he can handle that for up to 3 months, But it may be the best desision you make to have a go this way. I do agree with Quoll to save hard for a bit longer , & in the mean time google everything & ask on Poms about best places to live, schools, jobs, prices of cars (as there much dearer here than uk) just reasearch anything & everything. Nobody said it was gunna be easy, so dont kick urself about things. I think people think that gettin the visa is the hardest but infact the hardest thing about emigrating is startin over with everything & building a life for u & ur family, one which you are all happy with & comfortable with. There are so many ups & down you go through, I still go through them (my hub dont tho)!! I should imagine some of us on here do, but its all part of the tranistion. But once you have a job, home ect. it will become your new home, I think anyone who emigrates are brave & even if its not for all of us we can all grow old with knowing that at least we had a go!! I wish you & your family the best luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KIRK AND CO Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Hiya! = I'happy to give you my opinion but its only my opinion!!Firstly I wouldn't kick yourselves for only lasting a month - we haven't done it yet but I can imagine for some people it's not easy - new country, new rules, new people, blah blah - however a month is only a short time so I reckon you should defo try it again and go with the best positive outlook you can - having done as much research as you can first - get to know the place as best you can before you take the step.... Personally I wouldn't want to go at seperate times - I think that would be harder in many ways - you'll all end up missing each other and the boys will miss their Dad ... it could be hard for your hubby to be there on his own, having to get a job, - and lots of people on here say its quite hard getting a job just now - paying another rent which you could be saving, and for him adapting to a new life without you all/his family ... it could be hard for you back here dealing with all the family issues, the boys, etc etc .... and then when you go out, you'll be at different stages of "Oz development" ... If it was me, I would stay here together as a family, supporting one another thru all times, supporting your boys thru possible difficult times with moving around, different friends etc, give yourselves time to both save up as much money as you can, research Oz togetherand take the big step together as a whole family - esp as it was difficult first time .... Ofcourse - it totally depends on you, your family, situation, the visa you got etc etc - this is JUST my thoughts if it were me ... whatever you decide - GOOD LUCK and ENJOY!! We are doing it the oposite way round all going over to valide date visa november I am returning to carry the business on till christmas then returning to oz Feb when flights are cheaper. The reason for this is I earn more in the build up to christmas than any other time of year & oz closes down for christmas so they will not start employing untill feb 2010 so why waist time not earning when it only needs one adult to look for rented accomodation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Fletchers Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Hi Jill We are currently in the position you are considering. We made the move in Nov 2007, only managed to stay in oz for a few days before returning to the UK for family reasons. We knew we wanted to give it another go and decided the best thing for us was for Stephen to return before us to sort out a rental, find employment & do all the donkey work before me & the kids arrived. He left on 24th March and we fly out on 24th July to finally be back together again. It definitely hasn't been an easy thing to do, but we do speak with each other every day on webcam and you'd be surprised at how quickly the weeks go by. For us, I think we've done the right thing - Stephen has found some work, although is currently job hunting again, and our container arrived last week so when we get there it will be just like home from home for the kids. Good luck with whatever you decide. Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TonyandSharon Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Hi, Whatever line of work your husband is in must be sought after in Australia, but you need to move to where that work will be best rewarded. I wanted to live in Cairns but because of my profession I realised that I would be better off moving to Brisbane - purely for financial reasons. I was also lucky that I found work - in these hard times where employers are not re-hiring it would have been hard for you to come over here, rent and find work. People kid themselves thinking sell-up, come to Aus, live the dream - but it is hard!!!! We have been here 9 months, my wife was not allowed to work for the 1st 2 months as a teacher because we had to sort out references and hoops for her to jump through - I think she has had 1 wobbly day in all this time - and I was working from day 1 so she was just kicking around the apartment. In answer to your initial question, I don't think it is a good idea. Do it as a family - it will be easier if you are together - but plan for it and look for work and apply for jobs before you even get their. I am a case in point - I got my job when I was travelling in Singapore after a telephone interview at 7am while suffering from a hangover in the Yorkshire dales!!!! Plan, plan and plan again - its not going to be easy Good luck Tony Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KIRK AND CO Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Hi, Whatever line of work your husband is in must be sought after in Australia, but you need to move to where that work will be best rewarded. I wanted to live in Cairns but because of my profession I realised that I would be better off moving to Brisbane - purely for financial reasons. I was also lucky that I found work - in these hard times where employers are not re-hiring it would have been hard for you to come over here, rent and find work. People kid themselves thinking sell-up, come to Aus, live the dream - but it is hard!!!! We have been here 9 months, my wife was not allowed to work for the 1st 2 months as a teacher because we had to sort out references and hoops for her to jump through - I think she has had 1 wobbly day in all this time - and I was working from day 1 so she was just kicking around the apartment. In answer to your initial question, I don't think it is a good idea. Do it as a family - it will be easier if you are together - but plan for it and look for work and apply for jobs before you even get their. I am a case in point - I got my job when I was travelling in Singapore after a telephone interview at 7am while suffering from a hangover in the Yorkshire dales!!!! Plan, plan and plan again - its not going to be easy Good luck Tony Hi I am a dental technician & I will have two options as I am taking my laboratory with me. 1: find employment. 2: Restart my dental lab when i get there. We have sufficient funds to keep us going for a couple of years if things are slow at the start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyjamie Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 your defo not mad. fair play for realising youve made the wrong choice coming back and your all willing to try again, good for you! for what its worth i think thats a great idea and goodluck to you all x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackboots Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 all the best for whatever decision you make, its not easy the first time so hats off to you all ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THORPES Posted July 4, 2009 Author Share Posted July 4, 2009 thanks everyone for your comments. It does seem the majority think its worth doing. the more we think about it the better it is for us as a family. hubby has called a few jobs off seek and career one but all say if he was over there, they would be interested. It seems impossible to secure a job whilst still in uk. also we dont want to take the boys back there with nothing in place. We do believe its worth the sacrifice of being apart. (hopefully) Thanks Jill xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bobbins Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 thanks everyone for your comments. It does seem the majority think its worth doing. the more we think about it the better it is for us as a family.hubby has called a few jobs off seek and career one but all say if he was over there, they would be interested. It seems impossible to secure a job whilst still in uk. also we dont want to take the boys back there with nothing in place. We do believe its worth the sacrifice of being apart. (hopefully) Thanks Jill xxx Thorpes been there and done the same thing. In my opinion, without a doubt. The experience of a huge move cannot be underestimated on how if affects the family, socially, financially and emotionally. To move and have so many new experiences, ie: new country, new jobs, new friends, new house, and the sheer emotional stress it causes parents as I am sure, like us, work hard at helping their children settle, schools and friends. Im sure that we have all heard that one of the most stressful times in a persons life is moving house!!! that would seem like a doddle compared to all the changes during am emigration. Some manage well with it all - thats great. However, for the mere mortal - its a trauma. It really makes sense to me to minimise the effects of all these life changes by making it as easy as possible. With OH going first, he could sort out work, house and prob get the house a bit homely ready for the rest of you. Schools could be organised. I am sure this is easier to achieve without the worry of how the rest of the family is coping with it all on top of everything else. He could even take up some offers of a socialise and start making some new friendships!! just my opinion!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THORPES Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 Thanks Bobbins, thats exactly what we are thinking about minimising the effects of the move for the boys. It would be great if hubby could get a job and we could arrive with some security. also they wouldnt need too much time out of school if we have a house already. Hubby is just hoping he can meet some other families when he is there and to build some friendships. Jill xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaunkaren Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 It can't have been easy the first time round, and maybe a new approach will put a different light on it for you (and the children). We have an 11 year old boy and 10 year old girl and are not kidding ourselves it won't be easy, or that plans may have to change at short notice. Ideally we will all go out to Oz together, but sometimes life gets in the way. I have my final exams for a degree mid-October, and OH's contract ends at the beginning, now that our visa's have been granted we may just have to split up for a short while. But ultimately we will be living the life that we believe is best for all of us long term. You just have to trust your gut instincts and ride the waves, be prepared for all eventualities and more - we currently have plans A-G for possible routes to Oz, but we know that we will eventually be together to share the adventures. Good luck with whatever you choose and trust your instincts!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jackie Macdonald Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Hi, I hope someone can give us there opinions on what we should do. We made the move to Gold Coast in january this year but only stayed a month. I liked it and boys liked it but hubby had serious wobbles. It was a big change for him and he didnt realise how much. After much stress driving all over looking for work and areas to live and money running out we came back to uk. At first we were positive to be back but for the last few months we have realised we didnt try hard enough. We are all still living with my mum & dad so have no ties. We deffo want to go back. We were going to rent a house here and save more money to move back in around 12 - 18 months. The problem with this idea is we have to start again with furniture and getting boys settled. they have started new schools in different area from were we lived and although they are enjoying school, my eldest son is not settled. He doesnt play out like he used to and spends all his spare time on pc or x box. Our idea which we think is best is that my hubby goes back first in the next few weeks and secures a job. I continue to work here in uk to save my wages for another 3 months and then me and boys follow him. The problems with this idea is that we will miss each other (but it will be worth it) and also hubby has to find somewhere cheap to stay short term. He would also like to get in touch with other blokes to make some new friends. Do you think the idea of him going first is a good one and also does anyone know of cheap accomodation to stay? Thanks and sorry for the long post.:confused: Hiya, I do feel sorry for you. We have done, as a family, what you are about to do. We are pingpong poms too and like yourselves have invested in this a hugely expensive and emotional upheaval after returning to the UK 5 years ago. The second time around can be doubly hard too as you will anticipate how difficult it can be and the fact that you will have good and bad days, in other words 'it ain't easy'.You are also under more pressure to really make a go of it this time. IMO I think you should let you husband make the move before the rest of the family, it won't be easy and you will no doubt miss him a great deal but that way he can find you a house and car, look for work and do most of the necessaries before the rest of the famlily arrive. This should make the transition easier and will save you a lot of stress and worry as a family. In our case, my husband came out 4 months before, while myself and the kids resided with my mum. That way the transition was a lot easier for the children as they weren't living amongst all the stress and arguments that us as parents go through in the beginning amidst all the uncertainty. I don't want to put you off or cause you further worry but for us, since returning to Australia for a second time I have been through the same doubts and homesickness I had the first time round and contemplating doing yet another U turn. In your situation however, I think that once your husband has found work it may get a lot easier for you as your issues were slightly different to mine and other than that you enjoyed your time there. None of us know how we will untimately feel but please go into it with your eyes open and keep a good diary. In the same way as we have to remember WHY we came out in the first place, we also have to remember WHY we came home too. It is all too easy for us to forget how we really felt before we came back home. Most of us tend to see both the Uk and Australia through rose coloured glasses, once we have left either place. Good luck with your decision. Jackie xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rachntom Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Hi Jill and family I remeber you guys from a meet up we had in Bolton just want to wish you all good luck and go for it, what part are you heading back to, we are in the Redlandshire area so if you are heading anywhere near here give us a shout, Rachael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest greengables Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I can understand if you only stayed a month the first time why it would have been hard. When researching our move most info sites and feedback indicated that you should prepare yourself and your family for a 2 year "settlement" period of homesickness, wobbles and all of those totally natural feelings you get trying to adjust to a new and strange environment without the support of close friends and family. You can guarantee that you will have exactly the same experience this time around. Even people coming to Australia from some really difficult home, financial and employment situations in the UK are often shocked by how much the move hits them. It's different for everyone but I'm with a few other posters on here.....stay in the UK, save more money,research and plan like mad, expend a lot of energy, effort and cheap phone cards looking into employment in Australia and make the move together as a family when the time feels right. If your hubby struggled the first time around then it will be even harder on his own missing friends, the UK and going without the support of his family this time. Having you and your children there enjoying the Aussie lifestyle should be an incentive for him to move on, make new friends and overcome that horrible homesick feeling. I wish you all the best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest quigs Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Hi Jill, Having moved country twice already and about to do it a third time I have learnt that there is a certain process of culture shock and psychological effects on everyone and we all get the wobbles. Your husbands response was very very normal, had you not had financial constraints I guess you would still be there. As you weren't able to settle in one area you stayed longer in that state of wobbles because you were having to constantly readjust whilst moving around. Plus it is normal to compare everything in the early days and to think what have we done. Review why you want to go to OZ? Discuss feelings and effects on all family members- sort out the feelings that come with moving to a new country anyway and be prepared to work and put commitment in through ups and downs. Be better prepared- i.e. sort at least one job out before you all move again. Best solution is for your husband to go alone after researching work opportunities cheaper less unsettling for kids. Your husband has to decide if he will be mentally tough enough to go it alone for 3-6 mths. Things DON't always happen in the timescale you imagined in a new country and this is what leads to so much stress. Keep working in UK and stay with grandparents to save money and reduce costs plus give kids stability. The first year is a roller-coaster of emotions/issues, year 2 this settles dramatically you make a lot less comparisons with home and you know how everything works and can better appreciate why you moved. Finally do as much research on areas, work opportunities for you both, schools, costs etc it makes life a lot less stressful when you move. If your husband is there bring a laptop and set up webcam/ skype think long-term no pain no gain. Good luck whatever you decide Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE DUNSCOMBE FAMILY Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Hi Jill, Well you know how bumpy its been for us with me being ill all the time since we arrived , im still not great and now Mark has secured a job in the Sunshine Coast so were moving up there in the hope i will feel muh better and settle better, its been real hard for me , been in hospital, scared to death all the time but were still here , savings going down but im willing to try somewhere else in the hope we can make our life here in Australia, it is a huge thing we all do moving out here especially when you got no family or many friends for support, no one can see how they are going to cope with it all till they arrive , Do what your heart tells you to do, there have been many times ive said thats it im too ill to do this anymore, but im still here, I do hope you make it back soon, take care Jill x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmaroo Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 hi we are doing the same, I am going out first and o/h is staying in uk to save some cash and will come out in about 4-6 months, it will be hard but got to look at the bigger picture! good luck! emma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 A very good reply Jackie.... keep in contact through PM.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.