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2tigers

Children - what happens if you/your partner decide to go home.....

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not sure where this goes so please Mods move it if there is somewhere more appropreate. Can i now advise people who are reading this thread to carefully look into the new laws just past in Aus in regards to what will happen to single parents from the start of 2013. Once your youngest child turns 8 you loose a whole range of centerlink payments even the payments you get for the children if you work- if you dont work you also loose a heap of benifits associated with your health care card.

The idea is to force single parents back into the work force. Yes brillient idea is the first responce, but stop and digest the reality. Single parents are basically on there own with the kids as stated previously due to the family court laws they cant move closer to family or friends to help when the kids are sick or after school - so what happens to an 8 year old child while the parent is forced to work ????? It is illegal to leave an 8 year old at home on there own. The parent cant move to find work, move to find cheaper accomadation and with employment vacancies (except in the mines) on the decrease how are they supposed to support the kids ? Only answer is to hand the kids over to the other partner if he / she is working and has the support base for the kids but if he/she is not the ideal parent what sort of situation are you then putting kids into ? No good going to the family court and many parents are now to scared or to broke to do so. Just some food for thought.

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Thanks Tina, looks like Aus is tightening its purse strings.... with little regard for those in the grey


"If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine"

 

 

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Yes 2Tigers and many single parents are in panic mode right now. The government has also slashed funding to education facilities and financial support to single parent who were sudying to help them get a job. So with the Jet payment gone, unless you study a certificate 4 or above (to help with child care while you study) and forced to find some sort of work even though you have no one to care for the kids while you do so it is looking pretty bleak here in Aus.

Edited by Tina2
Error and addition

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Mods: I have just noticed this sticky has moved to the folder 'Feedback and Announcements'..... correct me if I am wrong, but I can't see how it falls within that category?

We will be organising all the stickies over the next 7 days, so rather than delete it or unstick it we have placed it here.


If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

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Tina - thats daunting, I found in the UK I am also better off financially (& academically) whilst studying full-time at Uni, rather than part-time study. Its a strange set up!

 

M2M - thats great thank you :)


"If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine"

 

 

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Yes 2Tigers and many single parents are in panic mode right now. The government has also slashed funding to education facilities and financial support to single parent who were sudying to help them get a job. So with the Jet payment gone, unless you study a certificate 4 or above (to help with child care while you study) and forced to find some sort of work even though you have no one to care for the kids while you do so it is looking pretty bleak here in Aus.

 

Hi Tina- do you have a link to any of this info please ?

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Hi Freesia here are just a couple of links

 

http://www.news.com.au/money/federal-budget/tough-love-budget-targets-single-parents-to-save-700m/story-fn84fgcm-1226346302653

 

http://www.deewr.gov.au/Employment/JSA/JobSeekerSupport/Pages/parentsCarers.aspx

 

http://www.abc.net.au/pm/content/2012/s3606249.htm

 

www.acoss.org.au/.../ACOSS_2012_sole_parents_submission.docx

 

http://www.mychild.gov.au/pages/CCJobs.aspx A family member is half way through a course which she has had to pay for out of her meger income only to now be told the course is scrapped and she will have to either "find a private college " to help her finish it (she cant afford private even if she found one doing the course ) or move onto a higher level, start from the begining and pay for the entire course herself.

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Yep, my TAFE couse is being finished so my study will not lead to the planned qualification. I'm still trying to figure out what comes next. A lot of contact orders now do not allow for full time 9-5 type work as you have to be in a certain place at a certain time to transition your child - during the working day. More encouragement to employers to offer flexible work practices (and part time jobs that are not just entry level or menial) would help. Judges recognising that parents may want to work a regular job may also help. I am fortunate to have a skill that can potentially lead to self employment, setting my own hours to some extent.

 

When it comes to it, nobody thinks their relationship will be one of the statistics when things are going well but things change. The heartbreak of a failed relationship is a minor part of the story when you end up stranded and unable to visit your family. If you choose to migrate, at least be aware of that possibility.

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When it comes to it, nobody thinks their relationship will be one of the statistics when things are going well but things change. The heartbreak of a failed relationship is a minor part of the story when you end up stranded and unable to visit your family. If you choose to migrate, at least be aware of that possibility.

 

Exactly ! Whopperdaisy, when you are in love and the sun is shining and the world is great you just never think of the "what ifs" but this is very much reality in Australia. If you Ex suddenly turns in a jeckle and hide and gets nasty and refuses to allow you to move life can become a living nightmare, as the law is on there side it is as black and white as that. If your break down ends up in a family court and orders are set, you are stuck fast until your last child turns 18 Here in Aus for a very simple break down involving split up of assets and family orders for children each side will be lucky to walk away with change from $150,000 in legal costs.

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Has anybody just left to go home on holiday with their kids and decided not to come back and stay successfully or were they brought back facing abduction charges?

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There was a high profile story here in QLD of someone who returned here from Italy with her kids and the children were forcibly put on a plane to Italy (teenage children literally kicking and screaming to try and stay with their mum). If you stayed on holiday, and your ex made a complaint to police, the children would be repatriated from any country signatory to the Hague Convention. If you returned you would almost certainly face charges if the other parent pursued it. You also have to get permission for the holiday in the first place form the other parent, or else apply for permission through the courts if that is not forthcoming.

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There was a high profile story here in QLD of someone who returned here from Italy with her kids and the children were forcibly put on a plane to Italy (teenage children literally kicking and screaming to try and stay with their mum). If you stayed on holiday, and your ex made a complaint to police, the children would be repatriated from any country signatory to the Hague Convention. If you returned you would almost certainly face charges if the other parent pursued it. You also have to get permission for the holiday in the first place form the other parent, or else apply for permission through the courts if that is not forthcoming.

And permission from the courts can take weeks if not months and will most likely cost far more than the holiday. Things continue to deteriate here in Aus in regards to Family Court leaning more and more towards what the men want so be very very careful

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Thought i would ad an update to this thread. The government in all there wisdom have now changed the law in regards to when single mums must return to work or starve. The age has been dropped to when your youngest child turns 8 year of age ! Yes at 8 "unless you have family who can care for the child or can afford before and after school care which costs a fortune" who looks after your child . if your family are back in the UK , and your ex partner either cant look after the child or does not want to look after the child? At age 8 single parents are moved of the parenting payments on to New Start which is below the povety level

Not trying to scare anyone but this thread is about what happens if you split once you have settled in Australia and this is just another thing to think about. Bad enough when your family is interstate but when they are in a different country the challenges can be immence.

for those interested http://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2012/10/sole-o17.html

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Just thought that add a different perspective to this interesting thread. My family and I emigrated here 3 years ago. After a year my wife left me with the children and went back to the UK. My intention was to follow once I do so in a financially responsible way realising that I must continue to support my kids during this process. Within a couple of months my ex pressed the panic button and flew back out to Oz with the kids and left them on my doorstep against my advice. She then departed back to the UK. To cut a long story short I settled the kids down in school and made adjustments to my life and career to accommodate them. Although I this was not what I wanted I welcomed them back with open arms and love. Subsequent to this the ex has then changed her mind and asked for the kids back. I refused! The kids deserve to be brought up in a stable and reliable environment and not moved backwards and forwards at the whim of my ex. The children have spent that last two years living with me now and despite the setbacks normally experienced during separation they have improved 110% during this period and they are blossoming.

 

During this period, my ex briefly returned to Oz she said to live and make a go of it with the kids, separately of course. Despite our past I made every effort to facilitate this and once she had a job and a house we then shared custody. After only two months she then stated that she was leaving Oz with the kids. Obviously legal advice and knowledge of Hague Convention prevented her from completing what I quite frankly saw as a calculated and deceptive attempt to take the kids away. The ex has subsequently returned back to the UK, again.

 

Due to her willing absences and some quite appalling decision making on her part she has pretty much used up all of her lives, quite literally in some cases. She has lost her visa after leaving and quite possibly has no legal recourse open to her. She now spends most of her time making up allegations of abuse and harassment in order to try and re-contextualise past events etc I suspect to try some other avenue of reclaiming the kids.

 

Throughout all of this I have tried to be fair and remain object but, as you might suspect it is quite hard. I try to put the kids first at all times. I work full time and we have a lovely house to live in. The kids are in an awesome school and they are flourishing here.

 

There is obviously more to this than meets the eye but, I don't think it fair on her to air all of her dirty laundry in public. Suffice to say their are other reasons why I wish to keep the kids safe.

 

The corker is now that after 2 years on my own I am absolutely worn down and at the edge of my rope. Australia for all its flaws is the place I want to be with my kids but, working full time and looking after my boys is bloody hard, especially with no support. So here I am in Oz where my job, house, kids school and financial security etc and their she is in the UK waiting for me to crack. Part of me just wants to pack it all in and give up. Sending the kids to live with Mum. Thus beginning the long slog back to the UK. I will not go back with no money or a job and I will not stop working as I won't be able to support the kids.

 

Perhaps you understand my dilemma. I not necessarily expecting an answer guys. I just thought that I would give the view of a single Dad.

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Just thought that add a different perspective to this interesting thread. My family and I emigrated here 3 years ago. After a year my wife left me with the children and went back to the UK. My intention was to follow once I do so in a financially responsible way realising that I must continue to support my kids during this process. Within a couple of months my ex pressed the panic button and flew back out to Oz with the kids and left them on my doorstep against my advice. She then departed back to the UK. To cut a long story short I settled the kids down in school and made adjustments to my life and career to accommodate them. Although I this was not what I wanted I welcomed them back with open arms and love. Subsequent to this the ex has then changed her mind and asked for the kids back. I refused! The kids deserve to be brought up in a stable and reliable environment and not moved backwards and forwards at the whim of my ex. The children have spent that last two years living with me now and despite the setbacks normally experienced during separation they have improved 110% during this period and they are blossoming.

 

During this period, my ex briefly returned to Oz she said to live and make a go of it with the kids, separately of course. Despite our past I made every effort to facilitate this and once she had a job and a house we then shared custody. After only two months she then stated that she was leaving Oz with the kids. Obviously legal advice and knowledge of Hague Convention prevented her from completing what I quite frankly saw as a calculated and deceptive attempt to take the kids away. The ex has subsequently returned back to the UK, again.

 

Due to her willing absences and some quite appalling decision making on her part she has pretty much used up all of her lives, quite literally in some cases. She has lost her visa after leaving and quite possibly has no legal recourse open to her. She now spends most of her time making up allegations of abuse and harassment in order to try and re-contextualise past events etc I suspect to try some other avenue of reclaiming the kids.

 

Throughout all of this I have tried to be fair and remain object but, as you might suspect it is quite hard. I try to put the kids first at all times. I work full time and we have a lovely house to live in. The kids are in an awesome school and they are flourishing here.

 

There is obviously more to this than meets the eye but, I don't think it fair on her to air all of her dirty laundry in public. Suffice to say their are other reasons why I wish to keep the kids safe.

 

The corker is now that after 2 years on my own I am absolutely worn down and at the edge of my rope. Australia for all its flaws is the place I want to be with my kids but, working full time and looking after my boys is bloody hard, especially with no support. So here I am in Oz where my job, house, kids school and financial security etc and their she is in the UK waiting for me to crack. Part of me just wants to pack it all in and give up. Sending the kids to live with Mum. Thus beginning the long slog back to the UK. I will not go back with no money or a job and I will not stop working as I won't be able to support the kids.

 

Perhaps you understand my dilemma. I not necessarily expecting an answer guys. I just thought that I would give the view of a single Dad.

 

What an awesome dad ! Every case is different you in this case have played "fair" no one could ask more of you and I for one admire you for that I truly wish you well. I totally get how hard life is for you, I see it every day in our daughter but you like her will in years to come be able to hold your head high and say look how great the kids turned out despite all the crap I had to go through.

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Guest Ptp113
Just thought that add a different perspective to this interesting thread. My family and I emigrated here 3 years ago. After a year my wife left me with the children and went back to the UK. My intention was to follow once I do so in a financially responsible way realising that I must continue to support my kids during this process. Within a couple of months my ex pressed the panic button and flew back out to Oz with the kids and left them on my doorstep against my advice. She then departed back to the UK. To cut a long story short I settled the kids down in school and made adjustments to my life and career to accommodate them. Although I this was not what I wanted I welcomed them back with open arms and love. Subsequent to this the ex has then changed her mind and asked for the kids back. I refused! The kids deserve to be brought up in a stable and reliable environment and not moved backwards and forwards at the whim of my ex. The children have spent that last two years living with me now and despite the setbacks normally experienced during separation they have improved 110% during this period and they are blossoming.

 

During this period, my ex briefly returned to Oz she said to live and make a go of it with the kids, separately of course. Despite our past I made every effort to facilitate this and once she had a job and a house we then shared custody. After only two months she then stated that she was leaving Oz with the kids. Obviously legal advice and knowledge of Hague Convention prevented her from completing what I quite frankly saw as a calculated and deceptive attempt to take the kids away. The ex has subsequently returned back to the UK, again.

 

Due to her willing absences and some quite appalling decision making on her part she has pretty much used up all of her lives, quite literally in some cases. She has lost her visa after leaving and quite possibly has no legal recourse open to her. She now spends most of her time making up allegations of abuse and harassment in order to try and re-contextualise past events etc I suspect to try some other avenue of reclaiming the kids.

 

Throughout all of this I have tried to be fair and remain object but, as you might suspect it is quite hard. I try to put the kids first at all times. I work full time and we have a lovely house to live in. The kids are in an awesome school and they are flourishing here.

 

There is obviously more to this than meets the eye but, I don't think it fair on her to air all of her dirty laundry in public. Suffice to say their are other reasons why I wish to keep the kids safe.

 

The corker is now that after 2 years on my own I am absolutely worn down and at the edge of my rope. Australia for all its flaws is the place I want to be with my kids but, working full time and looking after my boys is bloody hard, especially with no support. So here I am in Oz where my job, house, kids school and financial security etc and their she is in the UK waiting for me to crack. Part of me just wants to pack it all in and give up. Sending the kids to live with Mum. Thus beginning the long slog back to the UK. I will not go back with no money or a job and I will not stop working as I won't be able to support the kids.

 

Perhaps you understand my dilemma. I not necessarily expecting an answer guys. I just thought that I would give the view of a single Dad.

 

You deserve a medal. A pity pommy males in general don't have your level of intestinal fortitude. Anyway if I win the lottery I know where a bunch of the money will be going.

 

Tips me lid

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yup, two sides to every story


Voted worst newcomer. 2010, cheers x. Visa Application 3/2 /12. Granted 20/5/2012. Builder Now in Perth

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You're kids are lucky to have a dad like you. Stick with it there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Best of luck, sorry cant be of more assistance

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Thanks guys. I honestly think there are a lot more men and women out there who are in the same position. Not wishing to sound contentious I think some of the men get forgotten as it is not a role that is automatically associated with us. Work can be a challenge and I have experienced some of the discrimination that women have suffered in the workplace over the years due to childbirth and the adoption of more traditional roles as their children grow up. All I can say to that is know your rights and work hard and your employer should support you even if it pains some of the perfect individuals within the organisation, be clear about what you can achieve and quickly establish what you can do for them and they will soon settle down and accept you.

 

A winning lotto ticket would go down rather nicely LOL

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By page 13 of this thread, not one person has considered the needs of the child. What right do you have to take your child away from their father or mother because you are unhappy? Where do the child's feelings come into it? Why should they be made to miss out on a relationship with their father/mother and only see them once or twice a year (money permitting) because you are lonely and missing home?

 

Kids need both parents, not just one and no amount of aunts/uncles/grandparents will make up for that loss.

 

I see that it must be hard if you are a single parent who has brought up your child alone or your partner has abused your child, but if your child is used to having two loving parents around, then don't be so selfish as to put yourself and your needs before your child. The Australian courts have it absolutely right as far as I am concerned.


If you are looking for help applying to a job, writing a CV, cover letter or answering selection criteria, contact the experts at www.fremantlehr.com.au.

Based in Perth and helping clients worldwide to get the job they want in the company they want.

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Under Blue Skies, the reason little of nothing is said about actual cases or the children caught up in these cases is because parents are not allowed by family court law to discuss these issues, and the same goes for the media. Anything said on open forums can and is being used against anyone who makes comments in open forums in family court disputes, this includes threats of jail time.

I will however ad just one thing, we have now sold our home to try to raise funds to protect and support our grandchildren and our family member so please don't call people selfish unless you know the whole story.

Edited by Tina2

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Under Blue Skies, the reason little of nothing is said about actual cases or the children caught up in these cases is because parents are not allowed by family court law to discuss these issues, and the same goes for the media. Anything said on open forums can and is being used against anyone who makes comments in open forums in family court disputes, this includes threats of jail time.

I will however ad just one thing, we have now sold our home to try to raise funds to protect and support our grandchildren and our family member so please don't call people selfish unless you know the whole story.

 

I'm not talking about actual cases as I assume that, like in the UK, the family courts are private to protect the children. I'm talking about putting the needs of the child first, rather than the adults. To me, putting your needs before the need of your child to have two parents is selfish.


If you are looking for help applying to a job, writing a CV, cover letter or answering selection criteria, contact the experts at www.fremantlehr.com.au.

Based in Perth and helping clients worldwide to get the job they want in the company they want.

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I'm not talking about actual cases as I assume that, like in the UK, the family courts are private to protect the children. I'm talking about putting the needs of the child first, rather than the adults. To me, putting your needs before the need of your child to have two parents is selfish.

But there is a very fine line between discussing anything to do with the children and actual cases, without knowing and understanding in depth the actual situation it would be very hard for an outsider to understand what is truly going on, though I admit because people are quite frankly to scared of the consiquences to mention the children or the effect the break down of the marrage has had on the children it may come across that the adults are putting themselves first.

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I'm not talking about actual cases as I assume that, like in the UK, the family courts are private to protect the children. I'm talking about putting the needs of the child first, rather than the adults. To me, putting your needs before the need of your child to have two parents is selfish.

A tad Pollyannaish there I fear. It would be fabulous if every kid had two happy parents but life ain't like that and for one parent to trap an unhappy partner and kids in a place that isn't meeting their needs in any way, shape or form just because they might want to see the kids on the occasional weekend is not fair to the kids or anyone else. Equally you could say that if one partner doesn't like Australia then it behoves the other partner to move back to UK (or wherever) with them for the kids. I suppose you would say with your argument that the UK courts need to be tougher and not give permission for a parent to take a child away from the other parent and extended family to trip down the yellow brick road to Oz? That'd go down like a lead balloon! Unfortunately when relationships break up the kids are often used as pawns in the power play (no, i am not saying thats right btw) and what would be fairer would be to have more flexibility to take each case on its merit rather than a blanket "no you can't go!" Which is what happens at the moment even if the one doing the restricting is the most useless dead beat drop kick mother or father in the universe.

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Thank you quoll, try not being able to move SUBURBS never mind O/S with out the others approval, not for a better school, better housing, a job, a new relationship you are stuck till the youngest child turns 18. Currently family court is forcing children into overnight visits with the most horrendous results physical and emotional simply in an effort for children to have a relationship with both parents. God knows how the poor kids will turn out in a few years and there is little or nothing that can be done about it currently.

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