Guest hrimmer3011 Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Very true. So many scenario's. To be informed is better than to not know. Moving to the other side of the world is a huge decision. One that unfortunately, many of us dismiss the very thought of a breakdown in our choice of life partner. Unfortunately it does happen, to the strongest of marriages. The stresses/new life/new jobs/new friends/affairs - no life/no job/no friends/no extended family/isolation, all can contribute to breakdowns in what initially was a fantastic idea. A question, re children and oz, we will be moving to Adelaide later this year, there is myself, husband and 6 of the 7 children we have, 4 of the children coming with us are my children from my first marriage, my ex husband has signed all docs etc for us to migrate, the other 2 children are mine and husbands, my question is....if I was die whilst in Australia and the 4 children that are not my husbands, what would happen to them? Me and the hubby have discussed this and he would be wanting to keep them with him and their siblings and raise them all in Oz, could my ex husband (even though he has signed a stat dec stating it fine to migrate) try and get them to the UK to reside with him against my husband's wishes?? Cheers Helen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whopperdaisy Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Probably a question for a qualified legal adviser, Helen. I would think that their father would have some claim as their remaining parent. Your husband could probably apply for custody but I don't know which way the courts here would go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest corriechick Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Help! I'm in the UK posting for my friend who is in the process of trying to return home with her kids after several years in Oz. Her partner however doesnot want to return. She has just discovered he's getting legal advice today - presumably to stop her - she didn't see it coming and is beside herself and I am such a long way away ..... there is evidence of abuse from partner to her and the kids ... will this help... can someone give me a timeline .... she was hoping to be back next month .... feeling really sick right now - wish she'd read up on this years ago ....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Hi Corrichick, 2Tigers and Whooperdaisy are two people who give very sound advice on this matter. Your friend also needs to seek legal advice, which state is she residing in please? Susie x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest corriechick Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 She's in WA. They arenot married. 4 kids - all his. Been out there 4+ years. Kids 8-15. Getting legal advice Fri ... in need of desperate help as kids have been taken out of school and have places here ... house for sale over there..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest corriechick Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 They are all British Citizens .. but now have Oz Citizenship too .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Being a British citizen gives very little rights when it comes down to removal of children without both the consent of the parents. Australia and GB is a party to the Hague Convention http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hague_Convention_on_the_Civil_Aspects_of_International_Child_Abduction It is good she is taking legal advice and I wish her all the best. I also enclose a link for Relationship Australia WA http://www.wa.relationships.com.au/en/Services.aspx. Best wishes Susie x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest corriechick Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Being a British citizen gives very little rights when it comes down to removal of children without both the consent of the parents.Australia and GB is a party to the Hague Convention http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hague_Convention_on_the_Civil_Aspects_of_International_Child_Abduction It is good she is taking legal advice and I wish her all the best. I also enclose a link for Relationship Australia WA http://www.wa.relationships.com.au/en/Services.aspx. Best wishes Susie x Thanks. Ur advice is greatly appreciated. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest corriechick Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Does anyone know the costs involved if he wants to stop her and it all has to go through courts etc? Also anyone know if the fact she's in an abusive relationship ( and has proof ) will help her case? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Help! I'm in the UK posting for my friend who is in the process of trying to return home with her kids after several years in Oz. Her partner however doesnot want to return. She has just discovered he's getting legal advice today - presumably to stop her - she didn't see it coming and is beside herself and I am such a long way away ..... there is evidence of abuse from partner to her and the kids ... will this help... can someone give me a timeline .... she was hoping to be back next month .... feeling really sick right now - wish she'd read up on this years ago ....... The chances of her being able to leave that soon are, quite honestly, very slim. If she isnt able to leave then it might be a good idea for her to be supported here by someone strong - does she have a brother/father/big strong chap who could come over and give her a hand because if her ex is a bully then he will continue to bully his way through the courts no doubt. Sadly, as you will see by reading through this thread - the Aus courts are even less likely to let a child leave if one parent says no - and he could be the biggest drop kick in the universe and the courts will come down on his side. Your friend is going to need a real Rotweiller of a solicitor and she may have to pay through the nose for it so her friends might have to do some fund raising. She might also try the domestic violence crisis services for support and if they dont do it directly they may well be able to give her a few clues on who to go to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest corriechick Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 The chances of her being able to leave that soon are, quite honestly, very slim. If she isnt able to leave then it might be a good idea for her to be supported here by someone strong - does she have a brother/father/big strong chap who could come over and give her a hand because if her ex is a bully then he will continue to bully his way through the courts no doubt. Sadly, as you will see by reading through this thread - the Aus courts are even less likely to let a child leave if one parent says no - and he could be the biggest drop kick in the universe and the courts will come down on his side. Your friend is going to need a real Rotweiller of a solicitor and she may have to pay through the nose for it so her friends might have to do some fund raising. She might also try the domestic violence crisis services for support and if they dont do it directly they may well be able to give her a few clues on who to go to. :sad: Thats grim .....not what we needed to hear but very much appreciate your help. Have already spent 3 hours on laptop and mobile phone ... still in P.J's and need to go to work ... now!!! Still need any more advice if anyone has gone through the same thing ... she has friends out there but all family are here. Parents not strong enough to cope with this I fear - they don't know yet, although financially will be able to support. Thank you so much xxxx:hug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NeilEB Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Not sure I can offer any other advice other then to echo the call for your friend to seek decent legal advice ASAP. Hope it all works out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest corriechick Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Thanks to everyone for all the help and advice so far - even if its not what I wanted to hear! It appears there may have been a reconcilliation ...... I am watching this space and will post as soon as I have something ( hopefully positive ) to report! Meanwhile I will keep monitoring this forum ..... thanks guys ....:hug: xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NeilEB Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 I'd still get your friend to seek legal advice. If he's abusive to her, then she should be getting out now, not going back to him. Do what she can to get the kids, and get out of there. IMHO of course, YMMV Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest corriechick Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Yes - don't worry - legal advice being taken ... xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest charter Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 The kids will probably be asked who they want to go with, given their age. This will be a factor judging from a friends experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest corriechick Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 The kids will probably be asked who they want to go with, given their age. This will be a factor judging from a friends experience. Thats good to know as they wouldnot stay with him thats for sure ..... xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2tigers Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 Sorry to read your friends in this situation. The only thing that I can see where things look good in her favour is the age of the children. Once a child reaches a certain age (approx 12 I think, but no quotes) the courts listen to their choices. If she is looking at a reconciliation, it may be worth her while to request that they all move to the UK as a family, to help the situation if they ever split again and to provide her with a support network if the abuse continues..... once the parents make a conscious decision to move back to the UK then the children become residents of the UK same as when they went to the AU, and the HC would stop them leaving the UK. Does that make sense? Her other option would be to seek legal advice and get the ball rolling asap for an international relocation. This can cost up to and over $100,000 to fund. Can take over 2yrs of draining court cases where all past and present is dragged through the courts. Leaving AU is not simple, and even in cases where there is abuse toward the other parent the courts don't always stop contact with the children. If this was the case her chances of returning may be slim as the courts are very active in promoting relationships between father and child, regardless of his abuse to the mother or his contributions financially. BUT saying that, the age of the children do go in her favour, the older they are the more chances of their wishes being heard in court. Best of luck to her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest corriechick Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Sorry to read your friends in this situation. The only thing that I can see where things look good in her favour is the age of the children. Once a child reaches a certain age (approx 12 I think, but no quotes) the courts listen to their choices. If she is looking at a reconciliation, it may be worth her while to request that they all move to the UK as a family, to help the situation if they ever split again and to provide her with a support network if the abuse continues..... once the parents make a conscious decision to move back to the UK then the children become residents of the UK same as when they went to the AU, and the HC would stop them leaving the UK. Does that make sense? Her other option would be to seek legal advice and get the ball rolling asap for an international relocation. This can cost up to and over $100,000 to fund. Can take over 2yrs of draining court cases where all past and present is dragged through the courts. Leaving AU is not simple, and even in cases where there is abuse toward the other parent the courts don't always stop contact with the children. If this was the case her chances of returning may be slim as the courts are very active in promoting relationships between father and child, regardless of his abuse to the mother or his contributions financially. BUT saying that, the age of the children do go in her favour, the older they are the more chances of their wishes being heard in court. Best of luck to her Your advice is much appreciated ... I can't say too much at the moment but all this advice has been taken on board and I can't thank you enough on her behalf - even if most of it is hard to hear! Hopefully I can post some happier news before too long xx :hug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wildred12 Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 I strongly believe that the welfare of your children is the first thing you must think and consider. It's you responsibility. Stay aside your personal desires and put your children in the center. They're growing and all they have to depend is your presence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgt Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Great advice, wont tell the wife coz if she knew that she,d deffo not go, cheers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Great advice, wont tell the wife coz if she knew that she,d deffo not go, cheers That's very sad, I would hope that someone tells your wife so she is forewarned. It doesnt mean that she wouldnt go but maybe you should man up and come to an agreement about what will happen just in case it all goes pear shaped (chances are that it wont, of course!). I know if I were in this situation and my DH had this sort of information and deliberately didnt tell me I would be mightily ticked off!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whopperdaisy Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Sorry to read your friends in this situation. The only thing that I can see where things look good in her favour is the age of the children. Once a child reaches a certain age (approx 12 I think, but no quotes) the courts listen to their choices. If she is looking at a reconciliation, it may be worth her while to request that they all move to the UK as a family, to help the situation if they ever split again and to provide her with a support network if the abuse continues..... once the parents make a conscious decision to move back to the UK then the children become residents of the UK same as when they went to the AU, and the HC would stop them leaving the UK. Does that make sense? Her other option would be to seek legal advice and get the ball rolling asap for an international relocation. This can cost up to and over $100,000 to fund. Can take over 2yrs of draining court cases where all past and present is dragged through the courts. Leaving AU is not simple, and even in cases where there is abuse toward the other parent the courts don't always stop contact with the children. If this was the case her chances of returning may be slim as the courts are very active in promoting relationships between father and child, regardless of his abuse to the mother or his contributions financially. BUT saying that, the age of the children do go in her favour, the older they are the more chances of their wishes being heard in court. Best of luck to her Almost never, even if that abuse is in front of the child, well documented and proven and it seems even if the child has experienced abuse there is usually still priority given to maintaining that relationship. Generally it seems that adherence is quite rigid with very little consideration for such circumstances. I would urge anyone thinking of coming to Aus who believes their spouse is or may be abusive to reconsider. Legal aspects aside, the value of having a support network is immeasurable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgt Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 thankfully were all different , no offee intended, have a nice day:wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ligs Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Well this is certainly food for thought and thank you so much for bringing it to my attention. Due to come over to Darwin late next year on my DH's 457 visa. He is a very reasonable man and an excellent father and husband, however, he'll be the first to admit he can be very selfish when it comes to his work. The plan is to come over for the 4 years and then if all goes well, apply for PR. He knows I am very unsure about this move and have agreed to it, so my daughter can have more quality time with him and we can be a family again after him working away most of our married life (13 years). Our daughter will be 12 when we move and I would like to err on the side of caution and cover my back if something was to go wrong. Is this necessary at her age or would a court listen if she said, I want to go back to the UK with my mum? Obviously if she said she wanted to stay out there and I wanted to come back then I would stay for her, I just don't want to end up in the position of both of us having no choice should hubby decide that life in Oz is for him and I don't. I have to reiterate how important this thread is and how shocked I was when I stumbled on to it. Thank you all for bringing this to our attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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