How Long before you realised that Australia was or was not the place that you wanted to spend the rest of your days ?

[Paul1Perth]

2 hours ago, Bulya said:

That’s me.  I had some great times in Perth, but the tyranny of distance would soon come into play if you lived there.  

We've lived here for nearly 30 years and never felt that Perth is any more isolated than Manchester was from anywhere. If you wanted to go on holiday anywhere nice from the UK you had to jump on a plane. 

Now we live in a place that has everything that we used to pay to go on holiday for a couple of weeks a year from the UK, then start saving up for the following year.

If you fancy a change you have the airport here just the same. In these days of covid I can't imagine being "stuck" in a nicer, safer place.

[MARYROSE02]

2 hours ago, Bulya said:

That’s me.  I had some great times in Perth, but the tyranny of distance would soon come into play if you lived there.  

But that "tyranny of distance" must also be true of the USA and Canada where people who live on either coast who want to get to the other side have to endure a five hour flight over the "fly over states" (and provinces, if they use the same term in Canada?) The fact that there are other cities between the two coasts is irrelevant if have you no desire to stop over in them.

If you iive in Australia and crave constant trips to Europe then the tyranny of distance is far worse if you live in the "Eastern States" because it's a near 24 hour flight with at least one stop compared to a direct, 17 hour flight from Perth (to LHR).

And it's not as if you need to travel from Perth to Sydney or Melbourne for specialist medical services, universities or schools, so all that leaves is the desire which SOME people have to be able to constantly travel between Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane and Adelaide, for whatever reason - theatre and concerts perhaps.

Would life in WA be improved if there was a string of "Perths" up and down the coast from Perth itself - a la San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco,  Portland, Seattle, Vancouver? That is a subjective judgement? Is life in WA better or worse than in California, Oregon, Washington or British Columbia? (Cue the USA haters who say it would be better than WA if there were no Americans there. On the other hand, they are Democratic states?!)

 

[Bulya]

1 hour ago, Paul1Perth said:

Why?

Lack of variety and places to visit within easy driving distance 

[Guest]

Appreciate the kind comments everyone has made. Counselling may well be the best option at the moment, although I may have to find a non-Australian practitioner as inflaming a Perthite at the mere mention of hating their city might not be the best move. I'm also very unsure about opening up to my partner, even a little. We share everything and are very open and frank when it comes to family... but this would cause too much heartache I fear. Signing off for now, thanks.

Edited January 19, 2021 by Guest
text addition

[ramot]

8 minutes ago, 22B said:

Appreciate the kind comments everyone has made. Counselling may well be the best option at the moment, although I may have to find a non-Australian practitioner as inflaming a Perthite at the mere mention of hating their city might not be the best move. I'm also very unsure about opening up to my partner, even a little. We share everything and are very open and frank when it comes to family... but this would cause too much heartache I fear. Signing off for now, thanks.

All the best 

[Marisawright]

27 minutes ago, 22B said:

 I'm also very unsure about opening up to my partner, even a little. We share everything and are very open and frank when it comes to family... but this would cause too much heartache I fear. Signing off for now, thanks.

All the more reason why you should open up.  If you are so honest about everything else, your partner doubtless believes you're not at all homesick.  There may not be a solution but you are a couple and it's not fair or reasonable for you to bear all the pain yourself.  As they say,  a problem shared is a problem halved.

[Quoll]

1 hour ago, 22B said:

Appreciate the kind comments everyone has made. Counselling may well be the best option at the moment, although I may have to find a non-Australian practitioner as inflaming a Perthite at the mere mention of hating their city might not be the best move. I'm also very unsure about opening up to my partner, even a little. We share everything and are very open and frank when it comes to family... but this would cause too much heartache I fear. Signing off for now, thanks.

Any counsellor worth their salt wouldn’t take a hatred of their town amiss! If they do, then they’re being highly unprofessional and you can find another! Your GP could facilitate a mental health pathway for you which would be much more cost effective. 
Having been just where you are I’m firmly in the camp of “bite the bullet and share with partner”. It’s easy not to rock the boat but at what cost to your mental health (you probably don’t notice it from the inside and you may not realise just how bad it is until you don’t feel that way any more - that was certainly the way it was for me).  Talking it over also gives you the chance for a compromise scenario and that, in itself, can go some way to making you feel better in that you can begin to feel like these are choices you are making and that you get some sense of self determination back rather than being resentful about being trapped.  In my case, we had a good compromise scenario that worked well for about 5 years and I was more able to rationalise my decision to stay as being “here with him was a damn sight better than there without him”.  I’m back now with the same rationalisation and it helps somewhat. We have the compromise thing going too and I know that when. COVID no longer has the same impact it will be an even better option than it used to be.  
Good luck! 

[Marisawright]

19 minutes ago, Quoll said:

Any counsellor worth their salt wouldn’t take a hatred of their town amiss! If they do, then they’re being highly unprofessional and you can find another! Your GP could facilitate a mental health pathway for you which would be much more cost effective. 
Having been just where you are I’m firmly in the camp of “bite the bullet and share with partner”.

Hear, hear.  

@22B, I would also say, consider the future. One day, either you're going to crack, or something else will happen which reveals how you really feel.  It's inevitable - you can't survive like this for the rest of your life. Ask yourself, how will your partner feel when he discovers you've been hiding something from him for years?  i think I'd feel saddened that you didn't trust me enough to be honest.  Listen to Quoll, she has been there.

[MARYROSE02]

10 hours ago, Bulya said:

Lack of variety and places to visit within easy driving distance 

The odd thing is that, comparing Sydney to Perth, in Sydney you can basically drive north, south or west, and in Perth you can drive north, south or east.  I suppose there are more towns to visit in NSW and I like going to country towns and equally to different suburbs, and never get bored.

I prefer not to have to drive anywhere if I can help it so in Surfers Paradise I rarely to anywhere by car and if do go with my brother I usually regret it.  In Surry Hills (Sydney) I lived without a car other than hiring Go Get cars for two or three hours to go to the beach. In Perth or rather South Perth, not unlike Surry Hills in its nearness to the city, I had a hire car and I liked driving there because there was less traffic. 

It was the same in England and although i had a car I preferred to walk or cycle so I guess I have a "village" mentality if that is the right word. I've not driven a car since I left Sydney in July. 

[MARYROSE02]

12 hours ago, Paul1Perth said:

We've lived here for nearly 30 years and never felt that Perth is any more isolated than Manchester was from anywhere. If you wanted to go on holiday anywhere nice from the UK you had to jump on a plane. 

Now we live in a place that has everything that we used to pay to go on holiday for a couple of weeks a year from the UK, then start saving up for the following year.

If you fancy a change you have the airport here just the same. In these days of covid I can't imagine being "stuck" in a nicer, safer place.

So, like me coming to Surfers Paradise, it's like coming to Benidorm* for your fortnight in June/July/August/September and never having to to home?!

*Or wherever your favourite part of Spain was (if it IS Spain?)

[Marisawright]

8 hours ago, MARYROSE02 said:

The odd thing is that, comparing Sydney to Perth, in Sydney you can basically drive north, south or west, and in Perth you can drive north, south or east.  I suppose there are more towns to visit in NSW 

Yes, that's exactly the point.

[Marisawright]

8 hours ago, MARYROSE02 said:

So, like me coming to Surfers Paradise, it's like coming to Benidorm* for your fortnight in June/July/August/September and never having to to home?!

I think that's exactly it.  For some people there is more to life than the beach.

[Bulya]

2 hours ago, Marisawright said:

I think that's exactly it.  For some people there is more to life than the beach.

 

2 hours ago, Marisawright said:

Yes, that's exactly the point.

A lot more.  I’ve been to Jugiong, Yass, Binalong, Goulburn, Mittagong, Bowral, and Moss Vale for day trips recently.  Always something new happening in these once dead country towns/villages.  Yass and Jugiong the big surprises...and Dirty Janes in Bowral is simply amazing..

[MARYROSE02]

On 20/01/2021 at 08:24, Marisawright said:

I think that's exactly it.  For some people there is more to life than the beach.

Well, both Benidorm and Surfers have got plenty going on beyond the beach. They all have their "hinterlands" where you can explore, using your beachside hotel as a base. I have hired cars for the weeks I was in Fuengirola, Mallorca and Menorca. On the other hand, since coming to Surfers, I rarely go out in the car with my brother, preferring to walk around Surfers or sometimes get the tram. In Perth, I went out every afternoon in my hire car, always somewhere interesting to go. I'm happy to go to a different suburb every day, walk around, look at the homes, have a coffee or a drink. Then again, I found driving in Perth largely a pleasure, unlike in Sydney or the Gold Coast.

[Marisawright]

47 minutes ago, MARYROSE02 said:

Well, both Benidorm and Surfers have got plenty going on beyond the beach. They all have their "hinterlands" where you can explore, 

It would be great to be so easily entertained, but some of us are more demanding.    Personally, I want a wide choice of all of the following: adult classes in arts, crafts and dance; social dancing; plays, concerts, musicals, festivals, galleries, clubs, open-air events, shopping, etc. These all have to be real-world things, online isn't good enough.  

All those things exist in Perth or Surfers but with a  narrower choice - not wide enough for me, because I need change and variety in my activities.  I'd be happy there at first, but once I'd tried everything (which might take a few years, admittedly), I wouldn't know what to do with myself. 

 I think you are more the type of person who develops a routine and then is happy with it, and there's nothing wrong with that, just like there's nothing wrong with my preferences. We're all different and that's good. 

Edited January 22, 2021 by Marisawright

[Bulya]

On 20/01/2021 at 09:24, Marisawright said:

I think that's exactly it.  For some people there is more to life than the beach.

Don’t do beach.  Beach has sand and it gets into places it shouldn’t.  River or pool more betterer imho. 

[thompsonmax]

Hi, it is funny but I really want to visit this beautiful country at list once in my life

[bug family]

17 hours ago, thompsonmax said:

Hi, it is funny but I really want to visit this beautiful country at list once in my life

Hi Thompsonmax....which one Australia or the UK?

[Bulya]

What’s funny is those that move to one state/territory and think they’ve ‘done Australia’. Surprisingly large numbers of them too... 

[Karl D]

Have to say I’ve read this this thread from the start, absolutely heartbreaking at times, other times uplifting. There’s a good book in there somewhere.

We have a great life on the South West coast of Ireland, beautiful Kerry mountains and coastline, but, our two grown up daughters are there in Sydney,  both permanent residents now and citizens. We have a new grandson born  in November 2019 and thankfully we there for the birth, we have been going twice a year for around six years now. COVID has made us feel so remote from them, we have cancelled four flights so far and no end in sight.

so, we are are applying for the 143 visa and are in the system. From reading these posts I feel we will need to keep a foothold in Ireland, just in case!

Edited January 23, 2021 by Karl D

[Bulya]

11 hours ago, Karl D said:

Have to say I’ve read this this thread from the start, absolutely heartbreaking at times, other times uplifting. There’s a good book in there somewhere.

We have a great life on the South West coast of Ireland, beautiful Kerry mountains and coastline, but, our two grown up daughters are there in Sydney,  both permanent residents now and citizens. We have a new grandson born  in November 2019 and thankfully we there for the birth, we have been going twice a year for around six years now. COVID has made us feel so remote from them, we have cancelled four flights so far and no end in sight.

so, we are are applying for the 143 visa and are in the system. From reading these posts I feel we will need to keep a foothold in Ireland, just in case!

Think about what you’re interests are, the type of weather you like, etc etc.  Remember that Australia isn’t a country, it’s a franchise.  Get your head around that and you have a better chance of making it...

[Parley]

2 hours ago, Bulya said:

Think about what you’re interests are, the type of weather you like, etc etc.  Remember that Australia isn’t a country, it’s a franchise.  Get your head around that and you have a better chance of making it...

What are you on about ?

[bug family]

22 hours ago, Karl D said:

There’s a good book in there somewhere.

Now there's an Idea...........

[bug family]

22 hours ago, Karl D said:

From reading these posts I feel we will need to keep a foothold in Ireland, just in case!

Absolutely Karl, don't let go of that foothold, its a long way back if you do trust me welcome to the group anyhow

[Karl D]

What we will have to weigh up is if having the “out” card of keeping property back here, will that mean it will just be easier to give up of things are temporarily bad? We do realise that the Australia we’ve seen is in short stays and not what actually being there to live so are not naive. We have been to the far north of QLD, stayed in Brisbane and the Gold Coast area, the Central coast, Sydney many times of course, Melbourne, Perth and had the strangest two days of our trips in Alice Springs. Now that place really is wierd. So had a brief look at the country.

anyway we have a few years to wait, thanks for the welcome.

Edited January 24, 2021 by Karl D