Bouncing back to Aus!

[Sunny18]

After living in Perth for 8 years and having children we moved back to the UK last year for several reasons including missing family. We have now decided to move back again!

We remember the things we moaned about...feeling isolated, flies, no family. But now have realised that our kids had so much more to do outdoors. They never watched tv there. Now they watch lots. My eldest hates the cold and won't stay outside very long.

Has anyone made the same move? The Uk is a great place for us to visit but I feel miserable in this grey weather long term.

[bristolman]

Nowhere suits everyone, our Aussie kids love it here and have no plans to return as neither are particularly fond of the baking heat. We don't watch more or less TV in either country. As I say nowhere suits everyone. All the best with your move. 

[calNgary]

7 hours ago, Sunny18 said:

After living in Perth for 8 years and having children we moved back to the UK last year for several reasons including missing family. We have now decided to move back again!

We remember the things we moaned about...feeling isolated, flies, no family. But now have realised that our kids had so much more to do outdoors. They never watched tv there. Now they watch lots. My eldest hates the cold and won't stay outside very long.

Has anyone made the same move? The Uk is a great place for us to visit but I feel miserable in this grey weather long term.

Hi 

 If you have a quick search there are quite a few familys who have what we call 'ping ponged' and come back to Aus. Do you have Aus citizenship ?

Are you going to head back to the same area you were in before or try somewhere new?

 Cal x

 

[ali]

You're not alone in making the move back - at least this time you know what you're getting into.  As Bristolman says, nowhere suits everyone (which is a good thing really).  Good luck with the move.

[Sunny18]

1 hour ago, calNgary said:

Hi 

 If you have a quick search there are quite a few familys who have what we call 'ping ponged' and come back to Aus. Do you have Aus citizenship ?

Are you going to head back to the same area you were in before or try somewhere new?

 Cal x

 

Cal yes we have citizenship which I guess made it easier to make the move back to the UK in the first place...we knew we could go back to Aus again if we wanted.

We'll probably head to the same area that we were before we left although we now need to consider schools. We have lived north and south of the river and preferred north.

Edited February 14, 2018 by Sunny18

[Loxxy]

Hi @Sunny18  Wow I can really relate to your post!! My partner and I have now ping-ponged between the UK and Perth twice, mostly, well no entirely, my fault to be honest!! Missing my family back in the UK, etc etc - I daren't think about how much money we've wasted in the relocation process each time....doesn't bare thinking about.  We last left in 2009, so we've been back in the UK 9 years now and oh boy, am I feeling desperate to go back again.  I think I also struggle with the winters here, the perpetual darkness and freezing cold. 

There's a certain kind of misery to this, in that you never fully settle in either place....wherever you are, you long for all the things you miss about the other place!! We moaned about the same things you mentioned, also lived in the northern suburbs.  Looking back now, I think I threw away an amazing opportunity and I'm full of regret.  If I'm honest, I also think I didn't do enough to rebuild a really good network of new friends, and I struggled with feelings of isolation and loneliness.  Back home you have a ready-made network of long standing friends and family, making all aspects of life just that bit easier.  Being a bit older and wiser now, I wish I had thrown myself into really making more effort to build more meaningful friendships - I'm sure it would make all the difference.  

Would love to hear more about your experiences/reasons.  

 

[Loxxy]

15 minutes ago, Loxxy said:

Hi @Sunny18  Wow I can really relate to your post!! My partner and I have now ping-ponged between the UK and Perth twice, mostly, well no entirely, my fault to be honest!! Missing my family back in the UK, etc etc - I daren't think about how much money we've wasted in the relocation process each time....doesn't bare thinking about.  We last left in 2009, so we've been back in the UK 9 years now and oh boy, am I feeling desperate to go back again.  I think I also struggle with the winters here, the perpetual darkness and freezing cold. 

There's a certain kind of misery to this, in that you never fully settle in either place....wherever you are, you long for all the things you miss about the other place!! We moaned about the same things you mentioned, also lived in the northern suburbs.  Looking back now, I think I threw away an amazing opportunity and I'm full of regret.  If I'm honest, I also think I didn't do enough to rebuild a really good network of new friends, and I struggled with feelings of isolation and loneliness.  Back home you have a ready-made network of long standing friends and family, making all aspects of life just that bit easier.  Being a bit older and wiser now, I wish I had thrown myself into really making more effort to build more meaningful friendships - I'm sure it would make all the difference.  

Would love to hear more about your experiences/reasons.  

 

@Anna833 and @Sophie think we're all talking about the same thing here (see my comments here) - the agony of have we made a mistake coming back to the UK?! 

@Anna833 I think I was guilty of the same lack of immersion that you describe - not deliberately - I'm just a naturally shy person and find new social situations challenging! I should have forced myself to be more outgoing and strike up conversations with others more. Even meeting a group of exPATs like you guys on here to chat with probably would have been a huge comfort. 

[Drumbeat]

1 hour ago, Sunny18 said:

Cal yes we have citizenship which I guess made it easier to make the move back to the UK in the first place...we knew we could go back to Aus again if we wanted.

We'll probably head to the same area that we were before we left although we now need to consider schools. We have lived north and south of the river and preferred north.

Have you ever considered living in the hills? We've found people here are so much friendlier than in the suburbs and there are lots of good schools. The only downside is the longer trip into Perth but Joondalup is a similar distance.

[Marisawright]

1 hour ago, Loxxy said:

My partner and I have now ping-ponged between the UK and Perth twice, mostly, well no entirely, my fault to be honest!! Missing my family back in the UK, etc etc - I daren't think about how much money we've wasted in the relocation process each time....doesn't bare thinking about.  ...

  If I'm honest, I also think I didn't do enough to rebuild a really good network of new friends, and I struggled with feelings of isolation and loneliness.  Back home you have a ready-made network of long standing friends and family

I don't think you should be too hard on yourself.  You're assuming you're the problem, but it might not be you.

We went back to the UK in 2015 and settled in Southampton. I knew I'd have to work to make new friends at my age, so I made a LOT of effort - joining dance classes, writers' circle, women's gym, language courses etc - and never made one real friend in a whole year.  I felt desperately isolated and lonely, and eventually nagged my oh into coming back to Australia (he still hasn't forgiven me!).   

We couldn't afford to return to Sydney so we ended up in Melbourne. Like you, I started to worry that maybe I had been the problem in So'ton, not the people I met.  What if I had exactly the same lack of success in Melbourne?  But I had to try.  I took exactly the same approach - joined dance classes and a walking group - and within six months I had a great group of pals. 

That's not to say Australia is friendlier than the UK - after all, your experience in Perth was similar to mine in So'ton.  It's to say that different cities and towns have different cultures, and you'll fit in some better than others.  Also, some places are more welcoming to outsiders than others.  If you've spent that much time in Perth and didn't make friends then I doubt that would change next time, even if you forced yourself to "make an effort".   It's just not your kind of place.

Maybe you should make a list of the things you're missing about Australia, and see if there's another part of the country that would give you those things.  

Edited February 15, 2018 by Marisawright

[RandL]

I guess you can call us ping ponged, lived 20 years in OZ,  mainly west coast, but also a few years on the east coast.  Decided to come back to the uk  about 5 years ago, family reason.  Circumstances have changed and we are moving back , just waiting for the house to sell and we are off to  WA Greater Southern , dual citizenship helps, never regretted any of our decisions to move. Just feels like the right thing for us now. We are in our 50’s , so ready for the next adventure:)

there will always be haters so just do what you feel is right for you.

[Sunny18]

15 hours ago, Loxxy said:

Hi @Sunny18  Wow I can really relate to your post!! My partner and I have now ping-ponged between the UK and Perth twice, mostly, well no entirely, my fault to be honest!! Missing my family back in the UK, etc etc - I daren't think about how much money we've wasted in the relocation process each time....doesn't bare thinking about.  We last left in 2009, so we've been back in the UK 9 years now and oh boy, am I feeling desperate to go back again.  I think I also struggle with the winters here, the perpetual darkness and freezing cold. 

There's a certain kind of misery to this, in that you never fully settle in either place....wherever you are, you long for all the things you miss about the other place!! We moaned about the same things you mentioned, also lived in the northern suburbs.  Looking back now, I think I threw away an amazing opportunity and I'm full of regret.  If I'm honest, I also think I didn't do enough to rebuild a really good network of new friends, and I struggled with feelings of isolation and loneliness.  Back home you have a ready-made network of long standing friends and family, making all aspects of life just that bit easier.  Being a bit older and wiser now, I wish I had thrown myself into really making more effort to build more meaningful friendships - I'm sure it would make all the difference.  

Would love to hear more about your experiences/reasons.  

 

Hi Loxxy 

I think you're right there...I probably won't be 100% happy where ever I choose to live now. There's sacrifices to be made in either place. Luckily I made some wonderful friends over there and I miss them lots. But in the Uk you have that depth where you know people from your childhood...although that's not always a good thing haha. 

[Sunny18]

14 hours ago, Drumbeat said:

Have you ever considered living in the hills? We've found people here are so much friendlier than in the suburbs and there are lots of good schools. The only downside is the longer trip into Perth but Joondalup is a similar distance.

Hi Drumbeat

We did consider living in the hills whilst there but it was just a bit too far from the ocean for us. It's beautiful up there though and I can imagine there's probably a nice community feel like you say. 

[Booma]

On 15/02/2018 at 00:44, Sunny18 said:

After living in Perth for 8 years and having children we moved back to the UK last year for several reasons including missing family. We have now decided to move back again!

We remember the things we moaned about...feeling isolated, flies, no family. But now have realised that our kids had so much more to do outdoors. They never watched tv there. Now they watch lots. My eldest hates the cold and won't stay outside very long.

Has anyone made the same move? The Uk is a great place for us to visit but I feel miserable in this grey weather long term.

we ping ponged back to oz & it's the best thing we ever did. its a massive waste of money going backwards & forwards but we don't regret it & I feel especially lucky that I could come back. we have friends in uk who are stuck there because they didn't get oz citizenship & now they can't get visa. I'm much more settled this time round & got to pinch myself sometimes at how happy I am now. our kids are growing up spending most of the time outdoors & we all live a life other people go on holiday for. good luck with your move. you won't be sorry.

[Drumbeat]

On 15/02/2018 at 22:53, Sunny18 said:

Hi Drumbeat

We did consider living in the hills whilst there but it was just a bit too far from the ocean for us. It's beautiful up there though and I can imagine there's probably a nice community feel like you say. 

Yes, good point about being away from the ocean. I don't think I've seen the sea since last June and that was in Slovenia 

I used to go quite regularly when I first lived in Perth but a melanoma scared me away from lying on the beach, plus I'm married to a redhead!

[bristolman]

4 hours ago, Drumbeat said:

Yes, good point about being away from the ocean. I don't think I've seen the sea since last June and that was in Slovenia 

I used to go quite regularly when I first lived in Perth but a melanoma scared me away from lying on the beach, plus I'm married to a redhead!

Yeah we used to go to the beach about 3 times a year but even our kids weren't that excited about it in the end. Also married to a blonde/redhead so the beach never figured in our lives really. lol

[Sunny18]

13 hours ago, Drumbeat said:

Yes, good point about being away from the ocean. I don't think I've seen the sea since last June and that was in Slovenia 

I used to go quite regularly when I first lived in Perth but a melanoma scared me away from lying on the beach, plus I'm married to a redhead!

We lived right on the beach and it was a bit of a nightmare to be honest. High winds rattling the shutters so loudly at night, loads of flies and salt/sand all over the windows and cars. It was an amazing view don't get me wrong but we won't be doing that again!?

 

[Toots]

10 hours ago, bristolman said:

Yeah we used to go to the beach about 3 times a year but even our kids weren't that excited about it in the end. Also married to a blonde/redhead so the beach never figured in our lives really. lol

I always remember going on a bus from Perth to Fremantle when one of my sons was a baby.  An elderly man was talking away to me and he had lesions all over his face which had just been attended to at a hospital.  He was a proper redhead with very, very fair skin.  I got a lecture from him about the dangers of the sun and to be very careful with my baby.  

It is of course non-politically correct but my Mum used to say when she stayed with us "It's black man's country" meaning the sun was too strong for fair skinned people.  She relished the heat though.  She, like my grandmother had olive skin and black hair.    

[Drumbeat]

3 hours ago, Sunny18 said:

We lived right on the beach and it was a bit of a nightmare to be honest. High winds rattling the shutters so loudly at night, loads of flies and salt/sand all over the windows and cars. It was an amazing view don't get me wrong but we won't be doing that again!?

 

I occasionally have a hankering for retiring to a house with sea views but hubby just lists all the downsides about house and car damage 

[Sunny18]

18 hours ago, Drumbeat said:

I occasionally have a hankering for retiring to a house with sea views but hubby just lists all the downsides about house and car damage 

Yeah it's something I'd never have even considered. Luckily we were renting so it wasn't our responsibility to deal with any damage. 

I think anywhere you live there'll be downsides. We moved there from a house surrounded by bushland and ended up with snakes in the garden and house. Now that was terrifying!

I'm talking myself out of moving back haha!

[Marisawright]

51 minutes ago, Sunny18 said:

Yeah it's something I'd never have even considered. Luckily we were renting so it wasn't our responsibility to deal with any damage. 

I think anywhere you live there'll be downsides. We moved there from a house surrounded by bushland and ended up with snakes in the garden and house. Now that was terrifying!

I'm talking myself out of moving back haha!

I do think it's important to write down all the bad things about Perth and make yourself face them!   It's awfully easy, when you look back, to remember all the good times with a golden glow about them, and you end up downplaying the tough bits.  For instance, missing family - how did that feel?   Was it just a vague feeling that the kids were missing out on their grandparents, or were you crying yourself to sleep?   Whichever it is, it's going to be exactly the same if you move back.  Just sayin'

[Paul1Perth]

On Thursday, February 15, 2018 at 08:14, Drumbeat said:

Have you ever considered living in the hills? We've found people here are so much friendlier than in the suburbs and there are lots of good schools. The only downside is the longer trip into Perth but Joondalup is a similar distance.

Trouble with the hills it's hotter in summer and colder in winter. We had friends move from Northshore to The Vines and both their dogs died from heat stroke. They had been fine closer to the coast for years.

People are just as friendly in the suburbs and I would say you meet more people you are likely to get friendly with close to the coast. Simply because people go out to the beach, local coffee shops and restaurants and you realise you see the same faces after a while. 

Weekends and early mornings are the best time to catch locals to make friends. 

[Paul1Perth]

On Sunday, February 18, 2018 at 06:50, Sunny18 said:

We lived right on the beach and it was a bit of a nightmare to be honest. High winds rattling the shutters so loudly at night, loads of flies and salt/sand all over the windows and cars. It was an amazing view don't get me wrong but we won't be doing that again!?

 

I would go for a beach suburb but about 5 mins by car inland. Wind is just a light cooling breeze and the cars are fine. Mines 2005, parked outside and we are far enough not to have it show any damage. Mind you it spends a fair amount of time in the beach car park. Go just about every day. Couldn't live in Perth and not be close to the coast.

[Toots]

3 minutes ago, Paul1Perth said:

I would go for a beach suburb but about 5 mins by car inland. Wind is just a light cooling breeze and the cars are fine. Mines 2005, parked outside and we are far enough not to have it show any damage. Mind you it spends a fair amount of time in the beach car park. Go just about every day. Couldn't live in Perth and not be close to the coast.

We lived in the same suburb as you I do believe Paul.  Lovely place near a very nice beach.  Cooling sea breezes.  I used to visit a friend in Roleystone and the heat there was stifling in the summer.

[Drumbeat]

46 minutes ago, Toots said:

We lived in the same suburb as you I do believe Paul.  Lovely place near a very nice beach.  Cooling sea breezes.  I used to visit a friend in Roleystone and the heat there was stifling in the summer.

I don't notice much difference where we are, we do still get a sea breeze - it just takes a bit longer to reach us! But I volunteer at a wildlife hospital in Lesmurdie which is surrounded by bush and that is stifling on a hot day.

[Imapla]

On 17/02/2018 at 07:10, Booma said:

we ping ponged back to oz & it's the best thing we ever did. its a massive waste of money going backwards & forwards but we don't regret it & I feel especially lucky that I could come back. we have friends in uk who are stuck there because they didn't get oz citizenship & now they can't get visa. I'm much more settled this time round & got to pinch myself sometimes at how happy I am now. our kids are growing up spending most of the time outdoors & we all live a life other people go on holiday for. good luck with your move. you won't be sorry.

Glad to hear your story - So looking forward to ponging back soon !! - I also love to visit the UK but can't wait to be back in the sunshine and the outdoors, beautiful sunsets and scenery, clean streets, wide roads, sitting outside have a beer after work - will still miss my family a lot but that's what holidays are for!