Flake Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Hi all, well we we are in a conundrum. This is our back story: I'm English, DH Aussie and our son has dual citizenship. We have family on both sides of the world. We live in Sydney, and both have above average paid jobs, however we still cannot afford to buy a house in a reasonable area (reasonable defined as safe, tidy and within commutable distance to our jobs) in in order to buy in Sydney we will need to move much further out and in less reasonable areas resulting in very long commutes 1.5-2hrs each way as standard. Or we could move somewhere completely different in Australia and find new jobs etc but we would be away from our family who live here, but would own a property. Or we could move back to the UK and go back to our old lives and be able to buy a house and be close to the UK family. What would you do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 I'd decide what would make us happy as a family and opt for that. I've never been one to want or need to live too near family so thats never been a deal breaker for me. Same goes for my husband. We've always done what felt right for us as a family unit. If its not proved to be the best move, we've just dealt with it, worked toward making changes and done what we needed/wanted to do to make it better. Be that another move or a change of job or some such, just gotten on with it. If it comes down to you want to own your own property, I think you need to weigh up if you will be happier with life in Aus or the UK and if its Aus, will you be happy to move elsewhere that is more affordable? It would mean not seeing family so often and would you be ok with this? Or is it a deal breaker to be near family in either country? I could not imagine moving back to England and moving back near my parents, even less so because my main drive was to own a house. Detest living in that part of the world and nothing would persuade me to live back there :unsure: But I'd happily settle elsewhere I do like in the UK. However, am happy in our part of Aus and no desire to move back so not even on the table there. It really boils down to what is important to you and why. I don't think there is a right or wrong call or either is the better option, just comes down to where you feel you will be happiest and enjoy living life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flake Posted September 13, 2016 Author Share Posted September 13, 2016 I'd decide what would make us happy as a family and opt for that. I've never been one to want or need to live too near family so thats never been a deal breaker for me. Same goes for my husband. We've always done what felt right for us as a family unit. If its not proved to be the best move, we've just dealt with it, worked toward making changes and done what we needed/wanted to do to make it better. Be that another move or a change of job or some such, just gotten on with it. If it comes down to you want to own your own property, I think you need to weigh up if you will be happier with life in Aus or the UK and if its Aus, will you be happy to move elsewhere that is more affordable? It would mean not seeing family so often and would you be ok with this? Or is it a deal breaker to be near family in either country? I could not imagine moving back to England and moving back near my parents, even less so because my main drive was to own a house. Detest living in that part of the world and nothing would persuade me to live back there :unsure: But I'd happily settle elsewhere I do like in the UK. However, am happy in our part of Aus and no desire to move back so not even on the table there. It really boils down to what is important to you and why. I don't think there is a right or wrong call or either is the better option, just comes down to where you feel you will be happiest and enjoy living life. thanks so much for your response. Gosh I just don't know, I would like my son to have extended family networks as that's something I never had. I do really like Aus now and feel settled in terms of what it has to offer and the only thing going against living here are the house prices. I feel like if I wasn't near family here I would probably want to live in the UK but I fear that I have become so accustomed to Aussie life that I may not re-settle in the UK. I keep hoping for a miracle because as it is I'm quite happy but just can't afford to buy! :-( thanks again for your response Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 .........you mention that extended family is something you want for your son.... .........perhaps for now that's your need to be happy..... ..........and owning a home might have to wait..... ...........life's about priorities..... ............what we need for our happiness.....the rest is wants.... ..............to be met when and if we can..... ...............the best of luck ....X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flake Posted September 13, 2016 Author Share Posted September 13, 2016 .........you mention that extended family is something you want for your son.............perhaps for now that's your need to be happy..... ..........and owning a home might have to wait..... ...........life's about priorities..... ............what we need for our happiness.....the rest is wants.... ..............to be met when and if we can..... ...............the best of luck ....X Thanks Tink, hope it all becomes clearer moving forward. Right now I'm not changing anything in the hope of a miracle xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Maybe get a block and build? Works out cheaper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy79 Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 here's a thought... stay where you are, earning above average money and keep renting but buy an investment property somewhere else and rent it out, get's you on the property ladder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Maybe get a block and build? Works out cheaper. Not always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 here's a thought... stay where you are, earning above average money and keep renting but buy an investment property somewhere else and rent it out, get's you on the property ladder. Ditto, you beat me to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Is your husband entitled to live in the UK? I know reading other posts on here that there have been changes - something to consider Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Ali raises a good point - it's not easy to get an Australian spouse into the UK. If you can't meet the Financial Requirement then moving back to the UK may not be possible, so that's one option you can take off the table! I'm currently sitting in Melbourne because we couldn't afford to retire in Sydney, so I do understand your dilemma. I would agree that if you do decide to stay in Sydney, you should buy an investment property so you're "in the market". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicF Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 We had a slightly different, but similar dilemma. We owned a house near my parents in the UK but had become tired and disillusioned with the area we were living in and felt the need for a change. We had previously lived elsewhere in the UK and considered moving back to a previously loved area or somewhere similar in the UK or moving to Australia to be near my OH's family. Moving to Australia would mean we would be worse off financially, but then moving elsewhere in the UK would also mean a much larger mortgage as houses in the area we were in were cheap. Having previously lived elsewhere in the UK I knew my parents wouldn't be visiting much (they didn't visit much when we were 5 minutes away either to be fair) and it seemed pointless living somewhere where we wouldn't be seeing much of either family. That, coupled with the fact that my mother in law was already in her 80s, meant we decided that a move to Australia would be the best move for us at that time. I think this is a decision that only you can make. Is living in your own home really important to you or would you be happy renting while owning an investment property elsewhere to get on to the market? Do you feel a drive to move away from Sydney or do you really want to stay there but financially it's difficult? I wouldn't move just because it makes financial sense. I would move because it is the right thing to do for you at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Where do you WANT to be? Then you cut your cloth and all that. Personally I'm not a great fan of renting but I don't know that that would drive me to move away from a place/job/social network that I loved. If you're ambivalent about all those other things then where would you LIKE to be to tick all your boxes and act accordingly. If you're likely to get more bang for your buck across all your boxes elsewhere then move on otherwise don't. Rental properties have their ups and downs I guess, some folk don't mind being landlords, others hate it, getting a mortgage to be a landlord is more expensive of course - that's something you have to work out. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benthomas010 Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 As others have said... continue to rent, but buy an investment property. It gives you that financial security without having to move a million miles away. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flake Posted September 14, 2016 Author Share Posted September 14, 2016 We had a slightly different, but similar dilemma. We owned a house near my parents in the UK but had become tired and disillusioned with the area we were living in and felt the need for a change. We had previously lived elsewhere in the UK and considered moving back to a previously loved area or somewhere similar in the UK or moving to Australia to be near my OH's family. Moving to Australia would mean we would be worse off financially, but then moving elsewhere in the UK would also mean a much larger mortgage as houses in the area we were in were cheap. Having previously lived elsewhere in the UK I knew my parents wouldn't be visiting much (they didn't visit much when we were 5 minutes away either to be fair) and it seemed pointless living somewhere where we wouldn't be seeing much of either family. That, coupled with the fact that my mother in law was already in her 80s, meant we decided that a move to Australia would be the best move for us at that time. I think this is a decision that only you can make. Is living in your own home really important to you or would you be happy renting while owning an investment property elsewhere to get on to the market? Do you feel a drive to move away from Sydney or do you really want to stay there but financially it's difficult? I wouldn't move just because it makes financial sense. I would move because it is the right thing to do for you at the time. thanks for your reply, do you like it now you are here? The hardest thing having family on both sides of the world! It poses so many questions of where to be. I do think you are right only I can make this decision, not sure if I'm ready yet though but it will happen at some point as it has to. Hope you are settled in Aus x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flake Posted September 14, 2016 Author Share Posted September 14, 2016 Is your husband entitled to live in the UK? I know reading other posts on here that there have been changes - something to consider currentlu yes but who knows what they will do next with the policy's, it's infuriating! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grahamffc Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 It seems you are not comparing apples with apples. Many people in the UK would have exactly the same problem with London. If you cannot afford a capital city lifestyle you need to forget about it and ask would you rather be in parochial Australia or parochial UK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 (edited) currentlu yes but who knows what they will do next with the policy's, it's infuriating! That's a strange comment, do you mean that he already holds a spouse visa (and if so, is it the initial short-term ones or an indefinite one?) or just that currently you have enough savings to meet the criteria? I've been thinking about it and although I said, just enjoy Sydney and buy yourself an investment property, Noivern's comment made me think. I took a similar attitude to you - I loved living in Sydney so I continued renting and bought two investment properties. Fast forward and I'm now 60, and discovering that even after selling those properties, I can't afford to retire there and I'm going to have a far less comfortable retirement than my friends who moved away. So in hindsight, I think it would be worth investigating whether you can get as good a salary in (say) Brisbane. Edited September 14, 2016 by Marisawright Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicF Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 thanks for your reply, do you like it now you are here? The hardest thing having family on both sides of the world! It poses so many questions of where to be. I do think you are right only I can make this decision, not sure if I'm ready yet though but it will happen at some point as it has to. Hope you are settled in Aus x I do like it here. We had seven holidays in Australia before we moved. I enjoyed the first six of them but never felt like I could actually live here. The seventh was more of a reccie type holiday to see if we felt we could live here and we stayed in a suburb near the city instead of by the beach and went exploring potential areas to live. I felt far more at home here on that holiday than any of the others and for the first time actually felt like I could live here. It also made me realise I'm not a beach side loving person but that there are plenty of lovely areas to live in Adelaide. We decided after that to apply for the visa and make the move. We have found a suburb we like with good schools and only a 5 minute drive from the mother in law and we are all settled and happy here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomjackman351 Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 The place where you feel that you will be more happy and prosper with your family, choose it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salH Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Hi, my situation is similar to yours in part. I'm married to an Aussie too. And we sold my house in the uk to come here. Life here has been very difficult with extended family, meaning that our children really have not very much extended family contact. We've only ever rented here, and no chance to buy a house. We are not earning even average wages as my dh is a student and I am a SAHM. We won't earn average wages either, when dh is ordained next year. (But we will get a house with each job he has). I still say I would rather be 'poor here than there'. I love my parents and they are not in good health. My dad had a fall yesterday. Neither of them can fly. But they accept me being here, and we have many many good friends around us, and this is our home. I don't think you can ever totally rid yourself of the torn feeling of having family in 2 different parts of the world. It's our priority to always have an air fare in the bank. I think we just about have that. For our family of 8. It's been hard, hard. Saving that on student Centrelink and tiny part time job wages. But it was possible. Decide where you want to live. If you want to live here I am sure you can make the housing work. That feeling of being apart from family will never go. But it's something one has to hold in tension. The day we married we created this situation. We live with it and have to accept we are from different sides of the world, that's what our marriage means. I believe kids just accept these things. We can be healthy in how we address it. My kids accept my parents are on FaceTime and email. They get money not presence for their birthdays. We are looking forward to hopefully visiting next year. We do what we do and we live with it. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomjackman351 Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 If you can't afford safe living in Australia then I recommend you to move back to UK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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