Partners of those wanting to move back

[VERYSTORMY]

I thought I would share this as I know it is an issue for many when one wants to move back and a partner doesn't.

 

Although our move was a bit forced, I was still very nervous about my wife as she was incredibly happy in WA and certainly did not want to move back if at all possible. She had also been very keen to leave the UK when we did - mainly due to the weather as she was brought up in a hot country and had always struggled in the UK. So, it was a major issue for me wondering how she would cope and if she will be happy.

 

I had though always had a suspicion that part of the weather issue was because we lived in a house that was pretty cold and draughty in the UK - we had bought a fixer upper that had ended up taking a lot longer to fix than we planned and it was just finished as we left.

 

It was also potentially a hard time therefore to make the move - it was still pretty much summer 3 weeks ago in WA, but here, it was still falling below zero on a night and of course, plenty of showers around.

 

But, it seems my fears were groundless. She told me at the weekend that she has totally fallen in love with Windsor and the UK and is loving being back. And this is while we are living in a far from perfect accommodation - a 3rd floor flat with no lift and a dog that usually needs to be taken out for a pee in the middle of the night and going from a big Oz house to a fairly small apartment.

 

So, the moral of the story is, do not be too worried about how they will get on and find the move. I think when we make the move back, many see the UK with fresh eyes. We see the things that we took for granted. I know I certainly did and it seems my wife has as well. We are both loving the countryside and the villages, the history and the art and culture.

[Marisawright]

It's great that your wife has settled well and is loving it - but I'd be cautious about saying "don't worry" to anyone else. People are so different!

 

I'm sure you've also seen plenty of posts here from husbands or wives who were persuaded to move countries by a partner who thought, "they're worrying over nothing, they'll be fine when they get there". I'd hate to see such people being encouraged by your post, to browbeat their wife or husband into moving in spite of their reservations.

 

In your case, you didn't have a choice and although your oh loved the WA lifestyle, she was totally on board with the need to move - and she's no doubt relieved to escape from all that financial stress.

Edited April 4, 2016 by Marisawright

[VERYSTORMY]

I agree Marissa. There will be some that wont. But, maybe the way I should have phrased it is that they "may" be a lot better than you think.

 

I think as well, it depends a lot on where people move to. If it is to an area that has issues, then it is a much bigger risk. In fact, I would say that researching the area to move back to is as vital as it is when moving to Oz. In many ways, I thought about us moving back to Leicester as we have family and friends there. It was just fluke we ended up in Windsor, but very glad we did as it is such a pretty place and in many ways a fantastic location - London only 20 minutes away, her brother 30 mins away, the countryside on the doorstep and surrounded by lots of little picture postcard villages.

 

Even when people move back to be close to friends and family, it potentially isn't a great idea to move back to where they were from before Oz. The UK has the advantage that no where really is that far away, so choosing to live somewhere else and still have access to the friends and family can be a wiser move. For me, it means my friends are a couple of hours away in Leicester, but that's a lot closer than the other side of the world and we can still get together on a weekend.

[calNgary]

Its good to hear she is enjoying it, it will certainly help you all settle in much easier.. It is a gamble moving country but feels pretty darn good when everything works for you, are you going to look to buy something or get another rental for a while?

 

Cal x

[ali]

We'd always said in the early days that if we had to move back it would be to a different part of the country.

[Johnny]

. In fact, I would say that researching the area to move back to is as vital as it is when moving to Oz.

 

That's a great bit of advice there.

 

Good "research" is the key to everything.

 

One should never underestimate what it can be like coming home to what you "think" is familiar.

 

A lot of things change in only a few years and people (including yourselves) change too.

[JockinTas]

We'd always said in the early days that if we had to move back it would be to a different part of the country.

 

..................... and IF I had to go back, it would be to the place where I was born and brought up. I still think it is the nicest past of the UK. :cute:

[VERYSTORMY]

Its good to hear she is enjoying it, it will certainly help you all settle in much easier.. It is a gamble moving country but feels pretty darn good when everything works for you, are you going to look to buy something or get another rental for a while?

 

Cal x

 

We have taken the flat on a 6 month lease, but can give notice at 4 months and they go pretty quick around where we are, and it is a stunning flat. But, we want a house. So, in June we will give notice and hopefully it will go quick. We are going to rent for probably 2 years while we save cash for a deposit as we wont get much from the sale of the Oz house. So, will look for a house to rent either in Windsor or one of the surrounding villages. Though we will look as far as south Oxfordshire for the right place. We wont be able to buy near Windsor though - not without the best part of £1 million! So, will buy somewhere else in the country, maybe the east midlands and rent it out until we want to live in it.

[dxboz]

Me too Jock - came from a beautiful part of Scotland and would not hesitate to go back if/when time comes

[Patphillips47]

Must admit I couldn't live anywhere else in the UK except my home town - even there we have always lived South of the River Wear we never considered the North side - odd really when we moved to Oz without a second thought

[VERYSTORMY]

Must admit I couldn't live anywhere else in the UK except my home town - even there we have always lived South of the River Wear we never considered the North side - odd really when we moved to Oz without a second thought

 

I think most people do the same, which when you think about it is a bit odd - if the place were so great, why leave in the first place (not at you personally, but generally). And, as you say, if you can move to Oz, then moving down the road shouldn't be an issue.

 

We were lucky as we didn't get a lot of choice - I had a job lined up here. It just worked out well.

 

But, I do think people don't sit and think about it enough. They make the decision to return to the UK and just assume they have to return back to where they left. But of course there is no need. One of the best things about the UK is the small size means your never that far from each other - well, I suppose north of Scotland to Devon or something, but generally, no where is so far that you cant go for a weekend. So, why live some where that was so wonderful you uped and left to the other side of the world!

 

The UK is VERY diverse in its regions - you can live in a little village in the true middle of no where cut off by snow for a big chunk of the year. Or, live in the middle of a massive city and everywhere / everything in between.

 

I was born and raised in Boro, but left in my early 20's to go to uni in Leicester. I know I will never return to Boro, though we might return to Leicester as it has a special place in both our hearts. Even if it is just to retire. But, if I was someone that thought I would miss the beach when returning from Oz, then we could have looked at Cornwall or Devon.

[Patphillips47]

We live in a quiet little cul de sac with only 6 houses and we can see for miles right across to Gateshead ,yet we are ten minutes from town on the metro or bus and yes everywhere in the UK is not far when you have got used to driving for an hour in Oz just to get to work

[VERYSTORMY]

We live in a quiet little cul de sac with only 6 houses and we can see for miles right across to Gateshead ,yet we are ten minutes from town on the metro or bus and yes everywhere in the UK is not far when you have got used to driving for an hour in Oz just to get to work

 

The last bit of contracting I did in Oz was the second closest I worked from home. 800km.

[bristolman]

Not only did we not come to the UK for family, mine is almost all in Australia but we also bought a house about an hour from our closest friends.

[bunbury61]

I think most people do the same, which when you think about it is a bit odd - if the place were so great, why leave in the first place (not at you personally, but generally). And, as you say, if you can move to Oz, then moving down the road shouldn't be an issue.

 

We were lucky as we didn't get a lot of choice - I had a job lined up here. It just worked out well.

 

But, I do think people don't sit and think about it enough. They make the decision to return to the UK and just assume they have to return back to where they left. But of course there is no need. One of the best things about the UK is the small size means your never that far from each other - well, I suppose north of Scotland to Devon or something, but generally, no where is so far that you cant go for a weekend. So, why live some where that was so wonderful you uped and left to the other side of the world!

 

The UK is VERY diverse in its regions - you can live in a little village in the true middle of no where cut off by snow for a big chunk of the year. Or, live in the middle of a massive city and everywhere / everything in between.

 

I was born and raised in Boro, but left in my early 20's to go to uni in Leicester. I know I will never return to Boro, though we might return to Leicester as it has a special place in both our hearts. Even if it is just to retire. But, if I was someone that thought I would miss the beach when returning from Oz, then we could have looked at Cornwall or Devon.

 

Leicester ...no ...but parts of Leicestershire definitely ,some lovely little places

I work there every now and again ...and should have written down some of the places.

One has a huge area of parkland / national park ? ....about 10 miles out of Leicester a real nice place .

I have in some truly fantastic little villages in Leicestershire ...enviable lifestyle ...

Sibson ...twycross ...this is dick Turpin country ...even a pub called the Turpin in twycross ....IAM THERE TOMORROW

[bunbury61]

Leicester ...no ...but parts of Leicestershire definitely ,some lovely little places

I work there every now and again ...and should have written down some of the places.

One has a huge area of parkland / national park ? ....about 10 miles out of Leicester a real nice place .

I have in some truly fantastic little villages in Leicestershire ...enviable lifestyle ...

Sibson ...twycross ...this is dick Turpin country ...even a pub called the Turpin in twycross ....IAM THERE TOMORROW

 

Congerstone ?.......market Bosworth ?....theres bloody loads of them though ...village after village

[Gbye grey sky]

Windsor is a quirky town. I used to work in Staines and Windsor was part of my territory. Two things would have put me off living/working there. The tourist buses and being under the Heathrow flight path. Noisy low-flying aircraft every minute or two would have driven me nuts. How are you finding that.....or do you just get used to it?

[Johnny]

Windsor is a quirky town. I used to work in Staines and Windsor was part of my territory. Two things would have put me off living/working there. The tourist buses and being under the Heathrow flight path. Noisy low-flying aircraft every minute or two would have driven me nuts. How are you finding that.....or do you just get used to it?

Not sure about Windsor but I lived next to Schipol Airport in Amsterdam and also near Tampines/Pasi Ris in Singapore which was next to Changi Airport. You just sort of "zone it out" I suppose is the best way to describe it. You never really like it but just learn to ignore it. I lived in Kensington and had a rather busy rail line directly behind the house and again...just sort of zoned it out.

 

That said if I had to live in any of those places now after living in a place where the loudest noise is birdsong or the odd cow moo or sheep bleating in the distance, I would probably struggle to zone it out. But I was almost 20 years younger then and most of my pursuits were noisy...Knebworth, Glastonbury, Donnington to name but a few !!! These days its not Knebworth, apart from the 80s rewind gig at Scone, its the local pubs with the arran sweatered, jumbo cord trousered bearded ones listening to celtic & irish folk music instead and that's as loud as it gets round these parts !

[JockinTas]

I think most people do the same, which when you think about it is a bit odd - if the place were so great, why leave in the first place (not at you personally, but generally). And, as you say, if you can move to Oz, then moving down the road shouldn't be an issue.

 

We were lucky as we didn't get a lot of choice - I had a job lined up here. It just worked out well.

 

But, I do think people don't sit and think about it enough. They make the decision to return to the UK and just assume they have to return back to where they left. But of course there is no need. One of the best things about the UK is the small size means your never that far from each other - well, I suppose north of Scotland to Devon or something, but generally, no where is so far that you cant go for a weekend. So, why live some where that was so wonderful you uped and left to the other side of the world!

 

The UK is VERY diverse in its regions - you can live in a little village in the true middle of no where cut off by snow for a big chunk of the year. Or, live in the middle of a massive city and everywhere / everything in between.

 

I was born and raised in Boro, but left in my early 20's to go to uni in Leicester. I know I will never return to Boro, though we might return to Leicester as it has a special place in both our hearts. Even if it is just to retire. But, if I was someone that thought I would miss the beach when returning from Oz, then we could have looked at Cornwall or Devon.

 

I left home at 16 because there was no opportunity to train for the work I wanted to do there. After that I worked all over the place including overseas countries. The place where I was born and brought up has everything really. Lovely countryside, lochs, rivers, forests and the sea. I have also kept in touch with two friends I've known most of my life who still live there. In an ideal world I would live there 4 months of the year and the rest here as I love it here too.

[VERYSTORMY]

Congerstone ?.......market Bosworth ?....theres bloody loads of them though ...village after village

 

Bradgate Park is what I think you mean - lovely and with some amazing little villages about. We have a friend that lives opposite the park.

[VERYSTORMY]

Windsor is a quirky town. I used to work in Staines and Windsor was part of my territory. Two things would have put me off living/working there. The tourist buses and being under the Heathrow flight path. Noisy low-flying aircraft every minute or two would have driven me nuts. How are you finding that.....or do you just get used to it?

 

The aircraft are a pain, though we are noticing them less and less and they seem to have introduced a system where they come over for a couple of weeks, then don't for a couple of weeks. Though there no where near as bad as work. At work, we are literally at the end of the runway. There is a small field next to site, and the other side of the field is the runway fence.

 

Speaking to people that have lived here years, they don't even hear them anymore. I suppose its a bit like painters who don't smell the paint fumes any more.

 

The tourists aren't actually too bad. We are about 10 minutes walk from the castle, but we don't see any unless we go to the castle / high street. On Monday, we went for a walk into town and there were masses of them. But, turn just one road off and there are none. The funny thing is, most don't realise that the best restaurants, cafes, bars and shops are not around the castle, but just a road or two away.

[VERYSTORMY]

I left home at 16 because there was no opportunity to train for the work I wanted to do there. After that I worked all over the place including overseas countries. The place where I was born and brought up has everything really. Lovely countryside, lochs, rivers, forests and the sea. I have also kept in touch with two friends I've known most of my life who still live there. In an ideal world I would live there 4 months of the year and the rest here as I love it here too.

 

I can fully understand that, but I think a lot of migrants returning need to think if it is the right thing for them. For example, returning to an area of high unemployment and then complaining that there are no jobs - I have seen that happen more than once

[JockinTas]

I can fully understand that, but I think a lot of migrants returning need to think if it is the right thing for them. For example, returning to an area of high unemployment and then complaining that there are no jobs - I have seen that happen more than once

 

For sure. That would be a problem if I were to return to the area where I was brought up too. I was selfishly looking at it from my point of view (retired).

[JockinTas]

The aircraft are a pain, though we are noticing them less and less and they seem to have introduced a system where they come over for a couple of weeks, then don't for a couple of weeks. Though there no where near as bad as work. At work, we are literally at the end of the runway. There is a small field next to site, and the other side of the field is the runway fence.

 

Speaking to people that have lived here years, they don't even hear them anymore. I suppose its a bit like painters who don't smell the paint fumes any more.

 

The tourists aren't actually too bad. We are about 10 minutes walk from the castle, but we don't see any unless we go to the castle / high street. On Monday, we went for a walk into town and there were masses of them. But, turn just one road off and there are none. The funny thing is, most don't realise that the best restaurants, cafes, bars and shops are not around the castle, but just a road or two away.

 

 

I stayed a couple of times with my sister in the first flat she used to have in London. It was under the flight path AND the tube ran under the flats so you had the rumblings from the trains too. After a few days I hardly noticed them.

[boganbear]

I loved in Slough and the planes drove me bonkers. Sometimes they were so loud that I ran out of the house thnkng that a plane was going to crash. I once got stuck in traffic at Harlington corner as Concorde was taking off and that was an experience!