JockinTas Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Good luck with everything Vinnie! :smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 . My wife will be eligible for citizenship next march which is the reasoning behind holding out until June 2017. Don't forget she won't hold citizenship properly until she has attended a ceremony, it isnt just a test and job done. A ceremony can be anything up to 6 mths after the test so make sure you leave yourselves enough time as 3 mths may be cutting it very fine. Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinnie3004 Posted March 31, 2016 Author Share Posted March 31, 2016 Yeah good point. When the time comes we will have to asses the exact date we move but even if it is 6 months from March that gives us even more time to make sure everything is prepared properly. I have just set a date of June so my wife has something set in her head with an end goal ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Yeah good point. When the time comes we will have to asses the exact date we move but even if it is 6 months from March that gives us even more time to make sure everything is prepared properly. I have just set a date of June so my wife has something set in her head with an end goal ;-) Thats ok and i can understand a little that having a date set will make her feel better between now and then, just dont book flights,lol Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinnie3004 Posted March 31, 2016 Author Share Posted March 31, 2016 just dont book flights,lol Cal x Definitely not! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Quick update - My wife went back to the UK for 2 weeks to see her family, get away and get her fix and has returned even more determined to return home. Inevitable really and it was no surprise to hear her that. So...i told my family here in perth that my wife and i will be returning June 2017 to the UK. Yes they were terribly upset and it will take time for it to sink in. Especially as it will mean taking their first grandchild away but i need to live a life that is best for my wife and child now. My wife will be eligible for citizenship next march which is the reasoning behind holding out until June 2017. I guess its never to early to start preparing and the big move back now awaits. Excited, sad, nervous that im making the wrong decision, but until you do it you will never know. Luckily we will all have passports for the UK and Australia which is a very nice position to be in. Thanks for all your responses, it certainly helped :-) Your family need to be reminded that what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander! They had no compunction about doing the same thing to their family all those years ago. What goes around comes around! This is your life adventure now, not theirs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Feel sorry for your predicament but I think that you should not burn your bridges if you return to UK. I would not sell the house etc. We do have rose tinted glasses and we only remember the good things about most stuff in the past. When we first arrive over there people make a fuss of us and we visit all the relatives and everything is honkey dorey, then normality sets in, we go to work we come home, friends have moved on and have made other friends whilst we were going and we do not fit in with those people. Same with the relatives they have their lives. Don't get me wrong, when I am with my sister in law in UK or here we have a blast but I do know that we lead completely separate lives and if I lived around the corner I probably would only see her a few times a year. Just the way it is. I feel for your wife as she has tried but once children go to school whole other avenues open up for mums, work or sport, or craft people do all sorts of stuff. One of my friends took up Bridge and she has been playing it for donkeys years competitively. If you do not burn your bridges you can give it a year to see if you like it, if your wife still likes it etc. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinnie3004 Posted March 31, 2016 Author Share Posted March 31, 2016 Feel sorry for your predicament but I think that you should not burn your bridges if you return to UK. I would not sell the house etc. We do have rose tinted glasses and we only remember the good things about most stuff in the past. When we first arrive over there people make a fuss of us and we visit all the relatives and everything is honkey dorey, then normality sets in, we go to work we come home, friends have moved on and have made other friends whilst we were going and we do not fit in with those people. Same with the relatives they have their lives. Don't get me wrong, when I am with my sister in law in UK or here we have a blast but I do know that we lead completely separate lives and if I lived around the corner I probably would only see her a few times a year. Just the way it is. I feel for your wife as she has tried but once children go to school whole other avenues open up for mums, work or sport, or craft people do all sorts of stuff. One of my friends took up Bridge and she has been playing it for donkeys years competitively. If you do not burn your bridges you can give it a year to see if you like it, if your wife still likes it etc. Good luck Your absolutely right and i have tried to be realistic about everything to my wife and have said repeatedly that once everything we say we miss right now becomes a part of our life, then were not going to be pining for it anymore and will no doubt pine for stuff in Australia. That is just natural though i think, like you said. Ive tried to lay everything down on the table, the negatives as well as the positives because i would hate for her and myself who are looking through things with rose tinted glass right now to regret it. I don't think we will, but i can't stop thinking about 'once all that stuff we miss becomes the norm and part of life' scenario. At the end of the day you make the most of what you have and there is no bouncing back and forth between countries as its costly and disruptive so it needs to be a solid decision that we will stick with. For the foreseeable future anyway. This has definitely not been a light hearted decision and lots of thinking has gone into it but there is also an element of just getting on with it and trying it because you can put as much as you like down on a bit of paper to weigh things up but until you do it you never really know. All i can say is we will make it work and after living in Australia for a long time i will definitely see things with a different perspective compared to before and will enjoy the little things a lot more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Your absolutely right and i have tried to be realistic about everything to my wife and have said repeatedly that once everything we say we miss right now becomes a part of our life, then were not going to be pining for it anymore and will no doubt pine for stuff in Australia. That is just natural though i think, like you said. Ive tried to lay everything down on the table, the negatives as well as the positives because i would hate for her and myself who are looking through things with rose tinted glass right now to regret it. I don't think we will, but i can't stop thinking about 'once all that stuff we miss becomes the norm and part of life' scenario. At the end of the day you make the most of what you have and there is no bouncing back and forth between countries as its costly and disruptive so it needs to be a solid decision that we will stick with. For the foreseeable future anyway. This has definitely not been a light hearted decision and lots of thinking has gone into it but there is also an element of just getting on with it and trying it because you can put as much as you like down on a bit of paper to weigh things up but until you do it you never really know. All i can say is we will make it work and after living in Australia for a long time i will definitely see things with a different perspective compared to before and will enjoy the little things a lot more. I think you have the right attitude. We have been back a few weeks now and I was particularly worried about how my wife would find things - particularly the weather. But, what we have both found is that we now see the UK through different eyes. The things we disliked before or took no notice of, we now look at in wonder. For example, we went for a walk at the weekend and it was raining - but, all we noticed were how beautiful the scenery was and how majestic the swans were on the water. The rain was just something that helps keep things wonderfully green. Then we were walking through a little alley way - Windsor has lots of them and my wife was commenting on how wonderful the iron work was on the buildings. There will be ups and downs and bumps in the road. But, that's life. Do look at as much of the practical stuff as possible to plan for it - things like shipping, jobs, where to live. There is a lot knowledge available on here for that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Your family need to be reminded that what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander! They had no compunction about doing the same thing to their family all those years ago. What goes around comes around! This is your life adventure now, not theirs! Exactly. @vinnie3004 - your parents did what was right for their family all those years ago, and now you have to do what's right for yours. If it was just your wife that wanted to go and you had become more of an Aussie, I'd be saying "don't burn your bridges". But it really sounds like you both feel that England is where your heart is, so that's where you need to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 But, what we have both found is that we now see the UK through different eyes. The things we disliked before or took no notice of, we now look at in wonder We were the same, before we migrated, we always complained about how "boring" the UK was and how great and happening Australia "must" be. After coming home we definitely see the whole place through "different eyes". 8 years of being isolated from civilisation with nowhere to travel to in Australia, really makes you appreciate all the exciting things and great opportunities we have on our doorstep in Britain, or a cheap 1 or 2 hour flight away in Europe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 I agree with you Vinnie about making a decision and sticking with it. After all there is a settling in period wherever we live. I know that if we had stayed longer in the UK when I was first married I would have been just as happy as I am now. However my oh did not want to stay in UK as he had been at sea for quite a while and always wanted to leave UK. I take the view that whatever happens and wherever I turn up I will make it a happy place to be. Everywhere is nice if we look through the right eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 8 years of being isolated from civilisation with nowhere to travel to in Australia, really makes you appreciate all the exciting things and great opportunities we have on our doorstep in Britain, or a cheap 1 or 2 hour flight away in Europe. Its a shame you didnt have a vehicle or no access to flights, we have traveled so much and still have lots of places to visit. You will have missed so many great places. Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Its a shame you didnt have a vehicle or no access to flights, we have traveled so much and still have lots of places to visit. You will have missed so many great places. Cal x You're right, there is just so much concrete, man-made lakes, industrial estates, endless suburbs, and lets not forget the lovely shopping malls full of dated and overpriced shops to see. Oh and the countryside - nothing like a bit of scrubland or desert eh ? Just don't wander away from the safety of the roads though, those crocs & taipans can get pretty nasty. I don't really need planes where I live, its all on my doorstep although having access to Easyjet and their £39 tickets to take us all over Europe does give us a great choice of very interesting places to have our long weekends if we want. Its warming up now, and the days are getting longer, its "long weekend" season again ! You're wasting your breath trying to portray Australia to me as being interesting. Its not. Its also very isolated from the whole world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 8 years of being isolated from civilisation with nowhere to travel to in Australia, really makes you appreciate all the exciting things and great opportunities we have on our doorstep in Britain, or a cheap 1 or 2 hour flight away in Europe. Jeez where did you live in Australia - on top of Uluru? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patphillips47 Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Thinking johngdownunder lives on another planet let alone another country Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Thinking johngdownunder lives on another planet let alone another country There are those on each side of the fence believe me. Some describe an Australia in a positive way that equally I didn't use to see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wa7 Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Sounds like you have got it sorted out now, even just agreeing with your wife to go back and having a loose time frame to do it once she has citizenship will take the stress out of everything, save like mad and start looking at houses etc. good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Thinking johngdownunder lives on another planet let alone another country Nothing personal, it's only just another point of view, not intended to upset anyone. For anyone who loves the beach, loves sunbathing, loves the "patio life", hates travelling etc, I totally get why they will enjoy Australia. It certainly "delivers" in those departments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 You're right, there is just so much concrete, man-made lakes, industrial estates.... Johngdownunder, just because you didn't enjoy your life in Australia, that's no reason to exaggerate the negatives out of all proportion. That's just childish. All countries have good and bad points, and all countries have good and bad cities. It's completely unreasonable to judge the whole of Australia by one city alone, just like it would be completely unreasonable of me to judge the whole of England by Southampton alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 You're right, there is just so much concrete, man-made lakes, industrial estates, endless suburbs, and lets not forget the lovely shopping malls full of dated and overpriced shops to see. Oh and the countryside - nothing like a bit of scrubland or desert eh ? Just don't wander away from the safety of the roads though, those crocs & taipans can get pretty nasty. I don't really need planes where I live, its all on my doorstep although having access to Easyjet and their £39 tickets to take us all over Europe does give us a great choice of very interesting places to have our long weekends if we want. Its warming up now, and the days are getting longer, its "long weekend" season again ! You're wasting your breath trying to portray Australia to me as being interesting. Its not. Its also very isolated from the whole world. One of the reasons I love it. I've 'done' Europe many times over the years. Seen all of the UK. Will be going back sometime this year and as one of my sons is living in Ireland, I will be seeing a lot of that country too. I live in Tasmania which is very far removed from scrubland and desert. You have a very narrow minded view of Australia but I am glad you are happy back in the UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zack Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 Mixed Marriages just don't work! i know. i'm a Geordie and married a Londoner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Duck Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 You're right, there is just so much concrete, man-made lakes, industrial estates, endless suburbs, and lets not forget the lovely shopping malls full of dated and overpriced shops to see. Oh and the countryside - nothing like a bit of scrubland or desert eh ? Just don't wander away from the safety of the roads though, those crocs & taipans can get pretty nasty. I don't really need planes where I live, its all on my doorstep although having access to Easyjet and their £39 tickets to take us all over Europe does give us a great choice of very interesting places to have our long weekends if we want. Its warming up now, and the days are getting longer, its "long weekend" season again ! You're wasting your breath trying to portray Australia to me as being interesting. Its not. Its also very isolated from the whole world. You sound incredibly bitter. Perhaps some research and a reccie before you moved to Australia may have saved you so much pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 We were the same, before we migrated, we always complained about how "boring" the UK was and how great and happening Australia "must" be. After coming home we definitely see the whole place through "different eyes". 8 years of being isolated from civilisation with nowhere to travel to in Australia, really makes you appreciate all the exciting things and great opportunities we have on our doorstep in Britain, or a cheap 1 or 2 hour flight away in Europe. I could have spent years more exploring Australia. I loved that I could jump on a domestic flight and experience somewhere completely different, including tropical islands, without having to bother with immigration queues. We took advantage every opportunity we could, every public holiday we went somewhere. Back in the UK over a year now and we just did our first European break, it was great but a lot more hassle with immigration and long journey to Heathrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gummygirl Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 Travel is so much about perspective. When I first moved to Australia, I had spent the previous decade living and travelling just about everywhere -- Asia, Europe, the U.S. I was quite happy to move to Oz thinking that I was all travelled out, I was tired of getting on planes, and what I really wanted to do was put down roots. Five years later, I met my British husband, we had a child. And started travelling again. The annual or so pilgrimage to visit families overseas. Then branching out to other places when we could squeeze it in. And realising there was still so much left to see -- and all the places we wanted to go were hours from us! Even our in laws from the UK had a shorter journey to Johannesburg than we did, and we're supposed to be in the same Hemisphere! So here we are now moving back to the UK (sorry don't know if I updated my original post about the jobs dilemma for those who read it -- yes, we are making the move) and guess what we did two months ago? Looked at each other and said 'We better see what we can while we can!' Went to NZ for the first time since living here. Finally made the pilgrimage to The Rock (Uluru) and took our daughter to see what we could of the Great Barrier Reef before it disappears (so to speak). Husband encountered a brown snake at Uluru and the stinger suits we wore at the Reef made for some great photo ops -- hey, this is Australia. We're very fortunate to have been able to do this, but the real point is that it's easy to take things for granted especially if they're in your own backyard. Met a British woman who migrated to Oz a few years ago. When I asked her about places she'd been to in Europe, she said she never got around to it. Asked her if she'd been to see a brother who lives in NZ, and she hadn't gotten around to that either. She was in a relatively well paying job but everyone has different priorities and financial situations of course. The key thing for those of us who like to travel is that everywhere has something to offer (some places more than others, and perhaps with less venomous creatures, but I'll stop there) and not to take things for granted just because they're under your nose. Do I worry about air travel in Europe? Absolutely. But we're looking forward to houseboats and campervans and yes, we will still be getting on planes. Five hour flights to New York instead of twenty? Sign me up please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.