Harpodom Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 Nor most of mine; as such, I'm not motivated to spend $15k+ on such a one sided relationship :wink: Don't believe in family then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peach Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 Don't believe in family then? I do, I just don't feel I should bear sole responsibility for maintaining connections with them. My mother paid for her first trip here, I will be paying for her second.. Even picking up the phone should be a two-way street. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 Funny that. None of my family has any desire to come to Australia. Seems harsh at times, I have to remind myself that it was us who left, not them. I'm heading back myself at the beginning of July Harpo, for three weeks. I try and go over every 15 months as that's how long it takes me to accrue the leave needed for a decent length stay. In nearly six years in Australia only one relative has been able to make it out here, which is a shame, but completely understandable in light of the cost involved. To be honest, none of them are really interested in Australia despite a few polite enquiries about life here. Or maybe it's me that they don't like?! I go on my own back home, partly due to the cost involved, and partly because there's nothing much there any more for my (Australian) partner. All of the Australians she knew when we lived in London have gone home themselves now, so it's an expensive trip for us all to make for her to watch me getting misty-eyed over England!. I can't wait to go - a chance to catch up with family and friends, a sense of belonging, British sense of humour (not better than Australian, I just 'get' it in a way I don't over here), a landscape I relate to, pubs, football and grey skies!. Perfect :smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 I do think, as the person who moved, the onus is on you to make the effort to go back and see people...obviously it's nice when people make the effort but let's face it, it's as big a commitment for those coming here to visit us as it is the other way around, most of my friends have kids, the cost of a trip with the family to see one friend is huge, when I go back I see a whole range of people (family and friends) That said I was a bit put out when my sister in law made a comment about lots of people being very disappointed if we didn't make it back this Christmas (looking uncertain)..the costs are massive...we have other plans and things we need to spend on.. As a single person I think it's fairly do-able to scrape together the airfare and come and stay with us...we have had yearly (more or less) visits from in-laws plus members of my family which is great and shows their commitment to us...but all that said...we are the people who moved..not just to another county but to a far flung country...so if people never came, I wouldn't whinge, well I might a bit.but I understand it's on us really... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest66881 Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 I would think it's more of an holiday for those in britain to come here to see relatives (two birds one stone thing), than the other way around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 Funny that. None of my family has any desire to come to Australia. Seems harsh at times, I have to remind myself that it was us who left, not them. None of my side of the family have ever been to visit and when home they tell me of their lack of desire for Aus. My oh family on the other hand have been to visit. So when I return next its my late oh family I will be visiting :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the bottler Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 my son and daughter-in-law are going back for a month in August ... the first time in 19 years ... only going back because her parents health is poor and they cannot fly here ... my son does not really want to go but is doing it for his wife ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 I would think it's more of an holiday for those in britain to come here to see relatives (two birds one stone thing), than the other way around. Depends what you do and where you go..was def a holiday for us when we went back, we did loads, went away for a few days by ourselves, lunches and dinners out, touristy places, it was awesome. Could have made even more of it..next time. Want to visit all the places I ignored when had easy access to them. Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 I do think, as the person who moved, the onus is on you to make the effort to go back and see people...obviously it's nice when people make the effort but let's face it, it's as big a commitment for those coming here to visit us as it is the other way around, most of my friends have kids, the cost of a trip with the family to see one friend is huge, when I go back I see a whole range of people (family and friends) That said I was a bit put out when my sister in law made a comment about lots of people being very disappointed if we didn't make it back this Christmas (looking uncertain)..the costs are massive...we have other plans and things we need to spend on.. As a single person I think it's fairly do-able to scrape together the airfare and come and stay with us...we have had yearly (more or less) visits from in-laws plus members of my family which is great and shows their commitment to us...but all that said...we are the people who moved..not just to another county but to a far flung country...so if people never came, I wouldn't whinge, well I might a bit.but I understand it's on us really... My son would like to visit - but it's more to watch football. My daughter said "what would we do after we've seen everyone"? We've travelled Europe, and seen a lot of the UK, so currently our holidays will be visiting places we really want to see. I'm the only one of us whose visited NYC - and the family are really keen ... except they want to go in winter (which I'm not too keen on). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LKC Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 We went back to the UK last September, just for three weeks as that was all the leave that OH could have, and we didn't want to take the kids out of school for more than a week before the school holidays. I enjoyed seeing our family and friends, but to be honest, with car hire, flights, accommodation (there was only room for us to stay at OH's parents in Kent so we had to rent an apartment when we went to see my family in Birmingham) and all of the other things, we spent probably close to $18k. The thing is, as nice as it was to see our family, it didn't feel like a holiday. It was just the same as it was when we left. I was a bit worried before we went that it would make me homesick (which I hadn't suffered with at all), but I didn't feel like that at all. It was nice to come home to Australia. We had a nice life and were happy in the UK, so it wasn't that we came to Australia for the fabled 'better life'. I suppose I did feel slightly nostalgic, and I did think about the fact that our girls are growing up without their extended family, but we made the decision to live in Australia so that is what we will do. Even when we lived in the UK we were in a different part of the country to both of our families, so I guess that that is just something that we are used to anyway. I think that we will aim to return to the UK every four or five years, unless there is an emergency. Realistically, we can't really afford to go more often than that, and it uses up too much of the precious little holiday time that OH has anyway. He works Sundays, so we get very little family time as it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 I would think it's more of an holiday for those in britain to come here to see relatives (two birds one stone thing), than the other way around. Why? A lot of Australians love to visit Britain on holiday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 It took us 10 years to go back. Then we kept going back every couple of years. Now it is 12 years since we last went and I can't be bothered- too far and it has changed so much I am not sure we would like it from what others have said. Closer places to explore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 I think part of what made our holiday back so brilliant was the effort people made, we felt so loved! It was like being a minor celebrity!! A party thrown in our honour where (nearly) all our friends and familiy attended...people were clamouring to come and see us..the awesome MIL had made a massive effort (as is her way but in an understated way) to make us all comfy, we had 2 rooms in their gorgeous little cottage (semi-rural) When staying with my Dad and stepmum we had the same deal, new bedding etc, just a really special effort...meals cooked every night...friends trying hard to catch up and no let downs. I loved it. I love my family and friends and I loved returning, it was so good to see the place with fresh eyes. Obviously if we went back more frequently it would not be the same at all...I found that the people I had left behind had not replaced me or closed their hearts to me..It was as if I'd never been away and I realised how much they loved me. (goes all misty eyed) lol. People were also pleased for us and what we had managed to achieve in Australia too. No bitterness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kapri Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 After 8 months in Aus, I unexpectedly had to return to the UK. It felt strange: in some ways it was same old, same old, and in some ways it felt like I had moved on. I could easily settle back into life there, but I don't want to. Here is home now. There are people I wish I could see more regularly, but I wish they could come here rather than me go there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie 2 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I love my country, Scotland and wish I could, even after 48 years, bring it here and deposit it in NSW so that I could live there but be close to my children, grandchildren and friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted June 3, 2014 Author Share Posted June 3, 2014 I am lucky in that all my children and my soon to be grandchild are all in Australia so maybe that's part of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeM Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I went back once for 3 weeks. That was 2 years ago. Hated every second of it from the moment I left my house the morning of the flight to the moment I got back on the plane in London. I didn't want to go for any length of time in the first place (long story) and hated every second and I felt that it was just a huge waste of time and money for all concerned. It was cold. I got really sick (which resulted in me having surgery 4 months later!) and I would never go back again - other than for the fact that my partner is hoping one day I will take her to London, but that won't be a "trip home" for me, it'll be a holiday so she can say she's been to London and that's all it'll be. Everyone is different... Some wanna go back, some don't. Some are content to go for a holiday, come back, feel no different afterwards and their heart's in the same place. It really is totally 100% subjective and that's just how I felt/feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 That's really sad I went back once for 3 weeks. That was 2 years ago. Hated every second of it from the moment I left my house the morning of the flight to the moment I got back on the plane in London. I didn't want to go for any length of time in the first place (long story) and hated every second and I felt that it was just a huge waste of time and money for all concerned. It was cold. I got really sick (which resulted in me having surgery 4 months later!) and I would never go back again - other than for the fact that my partner is hoping one day I will take her to London, but that won't be a "trip home" for me, it'll be a holiday so she can say she's been to London and that's all it'll be. Everyone is different... Some wanna go back, some don't. Some are content to go for a holiday, come back, feel no different afterwards and their heart's in the same place. It really is totally 100% subjective and that's just how I felt/feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted June 3, 2014 Author Share Posted June 3, 2014 Perhaps it's a bit like emigrating you've both go to really want to do it I suppose it is a lot of money after all . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeM Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I don't see it as "sad" at all. I left. I got on with life over here. My friends all dispersed to universities and got on with theirs. I keep contact with one or two and family. They all know I've no intention of returning and they're fine with that too! Life is what you make of it. I chose to make it in Australia and to not mingle with "fellow poms" upon arrival so as to not be suckered into that school of comparing life and trying to establish where the grass is truly greener. I don't want to live thinking that I made the wrong choice so I just came over and got on with it. It wasn't my choice to go back for those 3 weeks and I don't want to go into why I did but all it did was just reaffirm that I'm living my life and they're living theirs and everyone's happy, so why does it matter? :skeptical: At at the end of the day if everyone's happy then that's all that matters! And that's just the situation for me. I totally understand people want to go back and visit and that's cool - each to their own! And I also get that sadly for many they have to leave for a variety of reasons and that's always a risk you take moving to another nation. All the same, I wish anyone who's holidaying or who's returning home permanently all the very best! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritChickx Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 For obvious reasons I had to come back but I really wish there was another way for me to stay. When I came back to the UK it didn't even feel like I was coming home, I felt empty. I'm feeling better about being here now and working towards my career/getting back to aus but I think i'll always feel like this now until I get back. I'm hoping at least to be in a nicer part of the UK whilst i study though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 That's all very well, but IMO you shouldn't need to banish all traces of your past to be happy in Australia. In fact I'd go so far as to say you may live to regret such an approach. I've met countless poms/Scots/Irish who've been here 40 years plus. Pretty much all of them go a bit misty eyed at the mere mention of the word 'home'. Never give up your roots. You may need them one day I don't see it as "sad" at all. I left. I got on with life over here. My friends all dispersed to universities and got on with theirs. I keep contact with one or two and family. They all know I've no intention of returning and they're fine with that too! Life is what you make of it. I chose to make it in Australia and to not mingle with "fellow poms" upon arrival so as to not be suckered into that school of comparing life and trying to establish where the grass is truly greener. I don't want to live thinking that I made the wrong choice so I just came over and got on with it. It wasn't my choice to go back for those 3 weeks and I don't want to go into why I did but all it did was just reaffirm that I'm living my life and they're living theirs and everyone's happy, so why does it matter? :skeptical: At at the end of the day if everyone's happy then that's all that matters! And that's just the situation for me. I totally understand people want to go back and visit and that's cool - each to their own! And I also get that sadly for many they have to leave for a variety of reasons and that's always a risk you take moving to another nation. All the same, I wish anyone who's holidaying or who's returning home permanently all the very best! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellybingobingo Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I went back last may , for my sons passing out , got back on Friday so excited and knackered . Me mate came round threw her arms around me , she said it's brill to have my little mate back for a few week . It was sooooo good to see her I carnt tell you , I felt in my comfort zone straight away . We we were going out on the following Saturday together , but she didn't make it she died on the Tuesday just like that . Well it tipped me over the edge . Then my my son tells me his girlfriend was pregnant , I was meant to go back when I did somebody sent me . then all my other mates visited me and not one let me down , they were all there , don't think going back last year has done me any favours but I still believe I was meant to go . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akiralx Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I do, I just don't feel I should bear sole responsibility for maintaining connections with them. My mother paid for her first trip here, I will be paying for her second.. Even picking up the phone should be a two-way street. Exactly, we went back for a visit in 2011 after 2 years here - I have no plans to return in the foreseeable future. My family and friends have an open invitation to come here for a free accommodation holiday. The onus is on them now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 I'm now really looking forward to seeing my family, some old mates, watching England v Italy with my mate Joe These things are priceless and what will take us back at the end of this adventure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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