Moving back after 20 years

[bristolman]

Bristolman sadly yes, we have looked at it so many times from so many angles, we would be happy to sell our home and live in a tiny rented house to get back to the UK but there is one major obstacle that we can not get round.

 

We could never live with the decision if we just ignored the issue and packed up and left. Awful really, you cant put into words how strong the longing is to go back it eats away at you, but if we went it would only be replaced by a dreadful feeling of guilt for leaving the reason for not being able to leave behind. Hope that makes sense.

 

Yes it does, I won't push you on it, the reason is clearly very important. Never give up, things change. All the best.

[cheswick]

hello yàll....well I moved back to the uk 2 years ago(after 20 yrs) for family reasons. And tbh I haven't regretted it at all although I also wouldn't rule out returning to oz..but, at the mo i`m happy in the uk..i`m 51 and looking towards the next chapter..living in oz as great but a long ay from so much..being in this part of the world has its benefits and I have plenty of work and love to travel to Europe and asia..so all i`m trying to say is you only have one life..so enjoy it the best you can..i enjoyed living in oz but at the mo the uk suits me better..i know its subjective but,its good to share our experiences isn`t it..anyway I hope this helps in some ay,cheers

[Melbpom]

Thank you to Tina and all those who have posted. I've been dithering about whether to move back or not myself and when I read about others in my age group who have been here 20/30 years also, it helps to clarify things. If it was just me I would leave tomorrow and take the chance but I have two sons, one at uni who is doing fine, but the other has significant special needs and I couldn't leave him behind. I don't even know how to transport him from here to the UK but at some point I'll have to take a deep breath and jump because I don't want to be here.

[Tina2]

Thank you to Tina and all those who have posted. I've been dithering about whether to move back or not myself and when I read about others in my age group who have been here 20/30 years also, it helps to clarify things. If it was just me I would leave tomorrow and take the chance but I have two sons, one at uni who is doing fine, but the other has significant special needs and I couldn't leave him behind. I don't even know how to transport him from here to the UK but at some point I'll have to take a deep breath and jump because I don't want to be here.

Have you talked to your Uni Student son about the possibility of you and your other son going back ? Would your Uni son consider joining you when he has finished his studies ? If not he can alway hop on a plane to visit you.

If I were in your situation I would consider what will happen to your other son once you are no longer able to care for him. Where will he have the best life and the best care ? I think we both know where that will be.

[Melbpom]

Yes I have spoken with uni son about going back and he's ok with that and will visit and maybe there will be more job opportunities (in engineering) for him. He lives on campus at the moment, it gives him some space from his brother. As for my other son, I have been back for a trip recently to investigate what is available for him and I've come to the conclusion that the UK is more advanced in their attitude to disability and the infrastructure is there thanks to years of philanthropy and supportive policies. Saying that I've felt the need to come back and mull over all the implications, such as lack of oz pension, but in the end if I tossed a coin and it came out "stay in oz" I'd be asking best of 3.

I do wish you the all the best with your own circumstances, Tina.

[Johndoe]

Thank you to Tina and all those who have posted. I've been dithering about whether to move back or not myself and when I read about others in my age group who have been here 20/30 years also, it helps to clarify things. If it was just me I would leave tomorrow and take the chance but I have two sons, one at uni who is doing fine, but the other has significant special needs and I couldn't leave him behind. I don't even know how to transport him from here to the UK but at some point I'll have to take a deep breath and jump because I don't want to be here.

 

Similar here. I have 3 sons in the UK and 2 here, one of whom is autistic. Both in work and at Uni. Josh has just become a manager at Maccas. Jake (the autistic one) was kept on by his school to run the library and tuck shop. They've since got him a scholarship to study for cert 3 in teaching and learning support which he will soon complete. He'd go back to the UK at the drop of a hat but I would worry about his future there with no network as at the current time his prospects look good here. We all love Oz but I would like to spend the rest of my days with my other sons as they were all in the forces from age 16 and I've seen little of them in 30yrs. It's only now that I'm older, and all those miles away, that they are feeling really close. I think a health scare that I had brought them nearer to me <sigh>. TBH the worst thing I did was my last trip, it made us all realise how much we miss each other and would like to make up for lost time.

Edited August 20, 2016 by Johndoe

[Tina2]

Thanks Melbpom, go back mate ! escape while you can ! Sorry to sound bitter but Aus is a back water in many things including health. All I will say is the family court here in Aus has destroyed our entire family, and left us in a hell of a mess, financially and emotionally from which there is no escape for the next 10 years . By then we will be close to 80 so the hope of going back then well it will be to late. At least my ashes will get sent back LOL

[Marisawright]

Other issue is transport, unless you live in a major capital city public transport is hard to find and very expencive, cars are not cheap to run and parking at any attraction be that city or country is seen as a pot of gold ready to be emptied by the local councils.

.

 

I read that and for a minute, I thought you were writing about the UK.

 

Where we were in Southampton, the cheapest return on the bus was £3 - if you lived out on the edge of So'ton, the return fare was £8. And good luck getting public transport from villages, so many routes have been cut with all the austerity. Also, in Sydney we were used to going for walks and paying nothing for parking - around the South of England, all the country parks charged at least £6 for parking.

 

Remember too, that while cars are cheaper, petrol is 50% more expensive in the UK. If you don't want to drive, then trains are horrendously expensive. My sister lived two hours away - the same distance as Sydney Central to Katoomba, which would cost me about $10. In England that distance cost me £50! If I searched for advance purchase fares I could get it down to £10 or £20, but it did take the spontaneity out of things - no ringing up on Friday because I'd come across a fair or a market and saying "I'll pop up tomorrow".

 

I was like you, feeling bored in Sydney once I retired and imagining I'd find lots more to do back in the UK - but I discovered that no place can keep you amused for 12 hours a day. I realised it's up to me to create new interests and activities to fill that void OR find something useful to do with my time.

 

As for health - having just spent a year in the UK I would say that both health systems are much the same, they both have their good and bad points.

 

I do understand that you have a yearning for the old country and that's sad. I'm lucky that I never had those feelings so I've been quite happy to come back to Australia. But I do think that the issue of adjusting to retirement and the call to go back "home" are two separate things, and the first one is solvable.

Edited August 21, 2016 by Marisawright

[JockinTas]

I read that and for a minute, I thought you were writing about the UK.

 

Where we were in Southampton, the cheapest return on the bus was £3 - if you lived out on the edge of So'ton, the return fare was £8. And good luck getting public transport from villages, so many routes have been cut with all the austerity. Also, in Sydney we were used to going for walks and paying nothing for parking - around the South of England, all the country parks charged at least £6 for parking.

 

Remember too, that while cars are cheaper, petrol is 50% more expensive in the UK. If you don't want to drive, then trains are horrendously expensive. My sister lived two hours away - the same distance as Sydney Central to Katoomba, which would cost me about $10. In England that distance cost me £50! If I searched for advance purchase fares I could get it down to £10 or £20, but it did take the spontaneity out of things - no ringing up on Friday because I'd come across a fair or a market and saying "I'll pop up tomorrow".

 

I was like you, feeling bored in Sydney once I retired and imagining I'd find lots more to do back in the UK - but I discovered that no place can keep you amused for 12 hours a day. I realised it's up to me to create new interests and activities to fill that void OR find something useful to do with my time.

 

As for health - having just spent a year in the UK I would say that both health systems are much the same, they both have their good and bad points.

 

I do understand that you have a yearning for the old country and that's sad. I'm lucky that I never had those feelings so I've been quite happy to come back to Australia. But I do think that the issue of adjusting to retirement and the call to go back "home" are two separate things, and the first one is solvable.

 

I too was flabbergasted at the cost of train travel in the UK but as you say, a lot cheaper if booked in advance. Probably pensioners get far cheaper travel rates too.

 

Have to say I was never bored in Sydney after retiring and even though we are now living in a far, far smaller place - I'm never bored here either. Yes, it is up to me to find plenty of activities/voluntary work to keep me out of mischief. I've just got in after a wee voluntary job serving coffee/tea, scones jam and cream at the local Maritime Museum cafe.

[VERYSTORMY]

Pensioners can get huge discounts on rail.

 

I find that that while fuel is twice the cost of Australia, I spend less on fuel per month as I don't need to drive as much. Places like Sydney may be different, but in WA most people have to drive to pick up a pint of milk.

 

Also, visiting places for fun is a lot less distance. For example, in Perth, if you want to visit a different city, then the closest is Adelaide. A decent flight! Now, I can be in a load of different places in an hour or two.

[ramot]

Pensioners can get huge discounts on rail.

 

I find that that while fuel is twice the cost of Australia, I spend less on fuel per month as I don't need to drive as much. Places like Sydney may be different, but in WA most people have to drive to pick up a pint of milk.

 

Also, visiting places for fun is a lot less distance. For example, in Perth, if you want to visit a different city, then the closest is Adelaide. A decent flight! Now, I can be in a load of different places in an hour or two.

 

Doesn't a pensioners over 60 rail card cost? I think 30 pounds each. So even with a discount you need to make a few journeys to recoup the cost.

 

I'm not sure if there is still a free pensioners off peak bus pass? Lots of my friends did use that last time we were back, as parking in Nottinham was expensive so wasn't worth driving in from the village. Was quite good fun meeting old friends on the bus, as it was so popular.

Edited August 21, 2016 by ramot

[Marisawright]

Pensioners can get huge discounts on rail.

 

I find that that while fuel is twice the cost of Australia, I spend less on fuel per month as I don't need to drive as much. Places like Sydney may be different, but in WA most people have to drive to pick up a pint of milk.

 

Also, visiting places for fun is a lot less distance. For example, in Perth, if you want to visit a different city, then the closest is Adelaide. A decent flight! Now, I can be in a load of different places in an hour or two.

 

Over 60's have to buy a railcard and it gives you 30% off. Even with that discount, the rail fares are still hugely expensive by comparison.

 

Please don't think I'm having a go at the UK. I'm sure that poster would be happier in the UK. I am just pointing out that those things are not cheaper, which is what the poster was saying.

Edited August 21, 2016 by Marisawright

[Patphillips47]

Yes I have spoken with uni son about going back and he's ok with that and will visit and maybe there will be more job opportunities (in engineering) for him. He lives on campus at the moment, it gives him some space from his brother. As for my other son, I have been back for a trip recently to investigate what is available for him and I've come to the conclusion that the UK is more advanced in their attitude to disability and the infrastructure is there thanks to years of philanthropy and supportive policies. Saying that I've felt the need to come back and mull over all the implications, such as lack of oz pension, but in the end if I tossed a coin and it came out "stay in oz" I'd be asking best of 3.

I do wish you the all the best with your own circumstances, Tina.

I am not sure if your son would qualify for any benefits for disability straight away if you do go back The old DLA Disability Living Allowance has been relaced by PIP and seemingly is a mine field Attendance allowance which is a benefit for those over I think it 65 is now only payable after being back in the country for 3 years as is carer allowance

I think most information is online but one thing I do know is in the UK information was never volunteered by the government agencies it was often by accident or word of mouth that we found out anything

I don't want to seem doom and gloom and hope it all works out for you it must be so difficult for you

[bristolman]

Pensioners can get huge discounts on rail.

 

I find that that while fuel is twice the cost of Australia, I spend less on fuel per month as I don't need to drive as much. Places like Sydney may be different, but in WA most people have to drive to pick up a pint of milk.

 

Also, visiting places for fun is a lot less distance. For example, in Perth, if you want to visit a different city, then the closest is Adelaide. A decent flight! Now, I can be in a load of different places in an hour or two.

 

On top of that the equivalent of registration is cheaper, the car we had is close to $800 a year now whereas we pay £100 for a bigger car and also our insurance is cheaper so across the board running a car here is pretty much the same and as you say doing less miles also helps.

[Marisawright]

On top of that the equivalent of registration is cheaper, the car we had is close to $800 a year now whereas we pay £100 for a bigger car and also our insurance is cheaper so across the board running a car here is pretty much the same and as you say doing less miles also helps.

 

This is where any comparison of UK vs Australia always falls down, because you can't make a general comparison. Comparing living in Sydney with living in the South of England, we found that we needed to drive a lot MORE, not less. People in the South of England seemed to think nothing of driving for an hour on a motorway to attend a dance class or go out to dinner, whereas we would never have done that in Sydney. I do understand that Perth is different, but I got the impression that the person i was responding to was in Sydney.

[bristolman]

It's why you can really only compare on an individual basis. Much is made of fuel being so much cheaper but other costs seem to be ignored.

[VERYSTORMY]

I think it depends on the individual. For example, when we lived in Sydney we never saw over half of it because it was just too big a pain on public transport - we didn't have a car. In the SE of England we get about almost all by public transport. Most of the south east is very easy. Going into London is a must by public transport. The bus can get me anywhere in Berkshire or Surrey for £5.50 a day day pass which is cheaper than driving when parking is included (except around Windsor as residents get parking for free or very cheap)

[Melbpom]

I am not sure if your son would qualify for any benefits for disability straight away if you do go back The old DLA Disability Living Allowance has been relaced by PIP and seemingly is a mine field Attendance allowance which is a benefit for those over I think it 65 is now only payable after being back in the country for 3 years as is carer allowance

I think most information is online but one thing I do know is in the UK information was never volunteered by the government agencies it was often by accident or word of mouth that we found out anything

I don't want to seem doom and gloom and hope it all works out for you it must be so difficult for you

 

My understanding is that his disability support pension would be transferable in the UK because in all honesty it is cheaper for OZ to pay that than continue supporting him here. Houses in the areas I'd be looking are cheaper there so there's a bit a slack and I'm quietly confident I can make it work but I appreciate your comments and will do a bit more homework.

[Patphillips47]

My understanding is that his disability support pension would be transferable in the UK because in all honesty it is cheaper for OZ to pay that than continue supporting him here. Houses in the areas I'd be looking are cheaper there so there's a bit a slack and I'm quietly confident I can make it work but I appreciate your comments and will do a bit more homework.

If that's a Centrelink pension then please for goodness sake get it in writing from them

We went back in 2001 to look after my Mam and my hubby was classed as severly disabled so he got his disability pension and I got wife pension ( he was under retirement age )

However I did not get carer payment as that can't be paid outside Oz

The criteria has definitely changed since then and as far as I know disability pension is only pay able over seas for around 6 weeks then it's stopped

We have a friend who was on a disability pension went back recently ,he received nothing from the UK for a few months and I am sure his Aussie pension has now stopped ( I will try to find out for you ) He has now I believe signed on for unemployment benefit as he is capable of work

[Petals]

To get the disability support pension oveseas you have to continually come back to Australia and see Centrelink in person. My friend's brother and his wife returned to her native Fiji to live when he retired. She was on a disability pension as she has a weak heart. It was a nightmare, she had to keep coming back into the country to maintain this pension. Also she is younger than him and if he died she would not have been able to access the aged care pension. They are not handing over money easily now. If anyone thinks that they can move back to UK with the pension from here when one person is not of pension age, think again, because that person will not get the pension of the older partner passes on.

 

Hence my friend's brother and his wife now live in Australia that is the only way forward. To return to the UK you will need deep pockets and not rely on any money coming from Aus.

 

Just to add that a lot of people are not aware of the laws, its only that his niece is a solicitor and she looked right into it that they became aware that his wife would not get a pension if he died.

 

People need to also consider that they must be resident in Australia to access the aged pension, so that means they cannot move overseas until that happens. With the pension age ever increasing it will not be viable to consider retiring back to country of origin unless people have independent money.

Edited August 22, 2016 by Petals

[Patphillips47]

I actually read up on the Centrelink website last night re portability of disability pensions and it looks as if in some situations it can be taken overseas

If the recipient is severly disabled they take a work test for want of a better word the info isnall available online

Our friend who went back allthough he has short term memory loss is capable of work that's why his pension has been stopped

I have always got any info in writing from Centrelink in any situation just don't trust word of mouth

Melpom if you don go back to access benefits you would probably need to go through the residency test again a minefield

i am not trying to dishearten you by the way just advising as your obviously aware any way that it can be a minefield

[Petals]

I actually read up on the Centrelink website last night re portability of disability pensions and it looks as if in some situations it can be taken overseas

If the recipient is severly disabled they take a work test for want of a better word the info isnall available online

Our friend who went back allthough he has short term memory loss is capable of work that's why his pension has been stopped

I have always got any info in writing from Centrelink in any situation just don't trust word of mouth

Melpom if you don go back to access benefits you would probably need to go through the residency test again a minefield

i am not trying to dishearten you by the way just advising as your obviously aware any way that it can be a minefield

 

Unfortunately it often is when you have moved away like my friend's brother that you find out that you are expected to return to maintain the pension. Do not forget that Australia has no agreement with the UK on pensions. So its a bit of a problem when one moves then finds out that their individual case will be treated differently. An expensive lesson flying back and forth.