Alexia Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 After 6 1/2 years in Australia we have finally taken the plunge and decided to return to the UK (house sold, flights booked). We've had 4 children in Australia aged 5, 2 and 6mth old twins and have gone back and forth in our minds about going back constantly since the birth of our first child. We've come close to going before, getting removalists quotes etc. but for one reason or another have not made the move. We have never really felt settled here and have lived in 6 houses (5 Dandenong Ranges, 1 Tassie) in the time we have lived in Aus. You would think that close family and friends who know our situation and know how unhappy and unsettled we are here, would understand why we would want to return. However, most of the conversations we have with certain people involve them telling us that we don't appreciate how good we've got it here, how terrible life is in the UK, how miserable we're going to be, how if hubby is lucky enough to find work he'll be taken for a ride by his employer and made to work every hour under the sun for peanuts etc etc. Due to the line of work he is in (welding), he's not really able to apply for jobs before we arrive. We've repeatedly tried to explain to them our issues and that it's different living here to being on holiday. I'm worried that we won't be able to grumble to them about anything when we get back and if it doesn't work out they'll be telling us "I told you so". I think one of the reasons it's taken us so long to go back is their negativity towards being in the UK. Has anyone else been in this kind of situation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jac2011 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Sorry I haven't been in your situation but its your life not theirs and they haven't experienced it so don't listen to what they say. I really want to move to Oz but I am still happy to say Britain isn't that bad at the moment. Maybe I am just lucky. As you know there are good and bad areas and areas where jobs are less easy to find. As you would have done when you moved to Australia do your research and ensure that you relocate in the UK where you will find work and be happy. One thing I would possibly advise is you moved to Australia because where you were didn't give you everything you were looking for, it may be that you need to avoid going back there. Go somewhere close but perhaps and hour away. Sorry I have no good advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Tell them to put a sock in it. You are the ones who have lived in both places, you are best placed to decide where is best for you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 If you have lived in the Dandenongs and Tassie you might want to consider looking for somewhere physically beautiful in the UK- it would be hard to settle in a grimy industrial area after that. Are you able to get healthcare etc after being away so long? Will you have to pay school fees? Just wondering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 If you have lived in the Dandenongs and Tassie you might want to consider looking for somewhere physically beautiful in the UK- it would be hard to settle in a grimy industrial area after that. Are you able to get healthcare etc after being away so long? Will you have to pay school fees? Just wondering. Yes, they'd get healthcare and no to school fees. :smile: Alexia, would you be moving close to them? I think Starlight's right - move somewhere beautiful like the areas you've lived in there and preferably away from the negativity! Everything is pretty accessible here (UK) so you can see your rellies when you want, on your terms and ignore the rest! No one can understand how you're feeling unless they've done it themselves, so take it with a pinch of salt. I wasn't that bothered about coming back, but life's pretty good here and we're enjoying what we've got. It is starting to feel a bit more optimistic here too and jobs seem to be being advertised, so I wouldn't worry too much. Nissan are expanding here in the NE - don't know if they'd need welders... Do what you think will make you happy, not the negative nellies who've never been in your situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loretta Farrell Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 We left the UK 5 months ago, we are Ozies returning home. As much as we loved the UK no one can really put a price value on family and 'just knowing how things work'. The grass is always greener on the old side and most people want what you have tried. But while some people do change lives either ozies in the UK or Brits in OZ as we get older you need to FIT. A happy mum and dad make happy kids, and it really does not matter what country you are in. Good luck with the move and don't make plans until you have been back a few months/ We did everything before arriving and have just moved house & location costing us a small bomb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Makes me laugh when people who have never lived and worked in oz tell you not to come back, the vast majority of them would not last 5 mins in oz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest26012 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Do what is going to make you happy! At the end of the day it's you're lives? Families are not always right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexia Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 Thanks for all your responses. I'm trying very hard to take their comments with a pinch of salt, particularly because much of what they have said I know too be completely inaccurate. One visitor commented on my OH's jumper "you don't get nice quality clothes like that back home". It was from M&S! Apparently they dont sell British apples in the supermarkets there either. But some other comments do add to our concerns because we are taking what we see as a big risk in going backs there - when we don't know how easy it'll be to find work, we don't know what government assistance will be available to us if we need it and we don't even have much of a plan for when we arrive. We'll just be squeezing in to parents houses and maybe splitting up as there's so many of us to accommodate! We're originally from Essex but it's too pricey for us so we're aiming for Suffolk or Norfolk. Seems to be a few jobs advertised around Yarmouth - not planning to live in town though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 You're right to be concerned - it is a big step, but be as prepared as you can be and put the feelers out for work before you get here. In some ways it's more scary coming back than going in the first place. Perhaps if you find a house with an apple tree it would allay your family's fears a little.... :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Load of tosh! Tell them to stop reading the Daily Fail! Choose a beautiful place where you can get a job, don't hang around with Negative Nellies like them! (My mother has a doctorate in Failitis so I know how wearing it can be but there are beautiful places and lots of very happy folk around!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jac2011 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Unfortunately families will always criticise, apparently Australia is the land of no opportunities and its too expensive to live because... 'She's seen it on the Australia program in the morning'! My mum will criticise everything I do and rely on 'opinion' rather than facts and my satisfaction each time is proving her wrong and just getting on with it. Life I am sure, in your situation will be tough when you arrive. But its only an intermediate. It will give you the chance to start again. Just put you and your family first and ignore the critical people. With plenty of research you will be just fine! After all, how many million of people are actually surviving in the UK? You were strong enough to survive moving to Oz so I believe you will be strong enough moving back. Out of curiosity, is there any way you can return home with more savings to avoid staying with inlaws? It sounds like this is the biggest problem. Even a static caravan may be better and you are certainly looking at an area with a good choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kungfustu Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 After 6 1/2 years in Australia we have finally taken the plunge and decided to return to the UK (house sold, flights booked). We've had 4 children in Australia aged 5, 2 and 6mth old twins and have gone back and forth in our minds about going back constantly since the birth of our first child. We've come close to going before, getting removalists quotes etc. but for one reason or another have not made the move. We have never really felt settled here and have lived in 6 houses (5 Dandenong Ranges, 1 Tassie) in the time we have lived in Aus. You would think that close family and friends who know our situation and know how unhappy and unsettled we are here, would understand why we would want to return. However, most of the conversations we have with certain people involve them telling us that we don't appreciate how good we've got it here, how terrible life is in the UK, how miserable we're going to be, how if hubby is lucky enough to find work he'll be taken for a ride by his employer and made to work every hour under the sun for peanuts etc etc. Due to the line of work he is in (welding), he's not really able to apply for jobs before we arrive. We've repeatedly tried to explain to them our issues and that it's different living here to being on holiday. I'm worried that we won't be able to grumble to them about anything when we get back and if it doesn't work out they'll be telling us "I told you so". I think one of the reasons it's taken us so long to go back is their negativity towards being in the UK. Has anyone else been in this kind of situation? Sad tho it is....there really is this feeling amongst a lot of brits that at best have only holidayed but more commonly have never been that Australia is this utopia in the sky......this somewhere over the rainbow land of milk and honey.....get there and you have truly discovered the holy grail of places to live.....and without doubt it will be a "better life for our little ones"....of course anyone that has taken the plunge and lived there knows the real truth..... I was out last night with some friends....my friend had a friend of theirs down from Leicester who had recently visited Perth (family living there) they said how nice it was but along with me also questioned the consensus that any thing Australia is paradise.....it really is a factor in this country....I dont know where it comes from....TV cant help....but us brits are hung up on the notion that if you live in Australia you really have hit the jackpot and life just cannot get any better.....we still have friends saying to us "why did you come back"......lol You sound similar to how we were when we moved over....we had a good time....enjoyed it whilst it lasted but realised life was better at home....I remember having skype conversations with friends and family all saying the same stuff....oh you dont want to come back here....theres no jobs....weathers crap and nothing has changed....its laughable when you think about it.....if you want to come home....do it....my monies on you realising how good it actually is here....and if you dont....well you ping pong back in the knowledge that Australia really is a better place for you and your family.....goodluck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Completely different to our family! We recently announced that we are expecting a baby and without fail almost all of our close family asked us 'so when are you coming back?'. They all want us back home which is nice but also makes it harder work to stay put for now. I've had to explain to them that with 6 months to go it makes far more sense for me to work until the baby is born, especially as we have private healthcare here and we will be well looked after! Anyway just goes to show families can put pressure on without realising it. I think at the end of the day they don't fully understand your situation here. Ultimately though they do want the best for you and in a strange way shows that they do care. They are just like so many people who have never lived here, watch programs like Wanted Down Under and think it's paradise. You know in your hearts where you want to be and that is all that matters. If moving back is what you want to do then you'll make it work, you just need to believe in yourselves and find the courage that helped you get out to Oz in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Maybe they are telling you not to ask them for assistance and be it on your own heads. I guess you will not be able to grumble either as if they are like my side of the family they are not interested in what we are or were up to and only interested in their own lives. I think that too much store is put on moving to or fro for family reasons and it has to be for immediate family not any extended family even if they are mum and dad. I am stuck in a time warp with Mum on one side and adult children on the other, wherever we are in the world its a hard place to be pulling from both sides, I think I will run away to outer Mongolia lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Sometimes it's a families way of saying "are you sure" ... albeit not very well put. I guess they want to point out potential pitfalls to you, you have to say "yes we've considered all that and this is our decision". Occasionally, you have to put the feelings and thoughts of others aside and say we're doing it anyway, whilst it would be great to have their support, if it's a decision you can make without it (and to live with it), then the only people you need to please are yourselves. If you do want a bit of a moan when you get back, of course you'll run the risk of people saying "I told you so" .. but in all honesty that's so true of so many things - I wouldn't let it deter you from doing what you believe to be right for you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Go for it. Just back from the UK after working there for a few months. V few people at work could be persuaded that living in Brisbane wasn't one long holiday apart from an Ozzie colleague and a Kiwi colleague who both appreciated the fantastic diversity of the UK and prefer to live permanently there. I do go on about how good living in the UK is and I'm aware it's because I've always lived in beautiful places (Sussex, York, Hertfordshire) - so I'm biased. I haven't experienced scraping a living in some grim industrial place, and I think my views on the UK would have been very different if that was the case. But plenty of opportunity in the UK and you have picked some lovely counties... As great as Queensland is, I'm not staying here long term - too many opportunities in the UK for work, travel, socialising, learning. People know when it's not right for them and it really is none of anyone else's business why you want to go back..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexia Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 After all, how many million of people are actually surviving in the UK? You were strong enough to survive moving to Oz so I believe you will be strong enough moving back. Out of curiosity, is there any way you can return home with more savings to avoid staying with inlaws? It sounds like this is the biggest problem. Even a static caravan may be better and you are certainly looking at an area with a good choice. I have often thought the same to myself - that there are plenty of people in the UK making a good life for themselves so I'm sure we can too. We've toyed with the idea of renting a static caravan. From the small amount of research I have done it seems many of the parks are closed over winter. For the first month after we arrive my MiL will be away and we'll be able to stay in her 2 bedroom house. Maybe we'll look more into alternative accommodation once we get there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexia Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 The questions of why on Earth we'd want to leave the best place on the planet to live have already started. Even the Aussies are at it. I had a conversation with the clerk in the bank about going back and she asked me "what's wrong with Australia, don't you like it?" and reassured me that if it's really bad there we can always come back as we have citizenship. She was quite shocked that we'd want to leave even when I explained that we have four young children and no family to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 If it's any comfort, my Australian friends were envious of us being able to come back and live in the UK. Most have visited here and said how lucky we and our children were to be able to live somewhere with so much going on and with such easy access to Europe. It did surprise me because we, and they, are conditioned to believe Australia is unbeatable in terms of lifestyle (I do like Aus very much and we'll probably end up going back at some point, at least part time), but it was refreshing to hear a different perspective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 If it's any comfort, my Australian friends were envious of us being able to come back and live in the UK. Most have visited here and said how lucky we and our children were to be able to live somewhere with so much going on and with such easy access to Europe.It did surprise me because we, and they, are conditioned to believe Australia is unbeatable in terms of lifestyle (I do like Aus very much and we'll probably end up going back at some point, at least part time), but it was refreshing to hear a different perspective. I have quite a few friends who have said the same thing and some old expats like myself who would give their eye teeth to move to UK but for a range of reasons cannot. One workmate has son, daughter in law and grand kids here but can't get a look in visa-wise - she's incredibly jealous! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 I have quite a few friends who have said the same thing and some old expats like myself who would give their eye teeth to move to UK but for a range of reasons cannot. One workmate has son, daughter in law and grand kids here but can't get a look in visa-wise - she's incredibly jealous! Poor woman. Can she come for long holidays? I'm very grateful for two passports. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil & Vikki Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 Ohdear that is a shame. You would of thought that family members would of been more than happy to see you move back and be close to them. IF they know how you feel, you would of thought that they would realise why you have decided to make the move back and be supportive. The one thing that you can always say and no one can take from you, is that you gave it a go. As they say 'suck it and see' and you did. You will never have to look back and say 'what if'. Sure that friends will be happy that you are returning. Good luck with the move, we hope that it goes well for you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legoman Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 After 6 1/2 years in Australia we have finally taken the plunge and decided to return to the UK (house sold, flights booked). We've had 4 children in Australia aged 5, 2 and 6mth old twins and have gone back and forth in our minds about going back constantly since the birth of our first child. We've come close to going before, getting removalists quotes etc. but for one reason or another have not made the move. We have never really felt settled here and have lived in 6 houses (5 Dandenong Ranges, 1 Tassie) in the time we have lived in Aus. You would think that close family and friends who know our situation and know how unhappy and unsettled we are here, would understand why we would want to return. However, most of the conversations we have with certain people involve them telling us that we don't appreciate how good we've got it here, how terrible life is in the UK, how miserable we're going to be, how if hubby is lucky enough to find work he'll be taken for a ride by his employer and made to work every hour under the sun for peanuts etc etc. Due to the line of work he is in (welding), he's not really able to apply for jobs before we arrive. We've repeatedly tried to explain to them our issues and that it's different living here to being on holiday. I'm worried that we won't be able to grumble to them about anything when we get back and if it doesn't work out they'll be telling us "I told you so". I think one of the reasons it's taken us so long to go back is their negativity towards being in the UK. Has anyone else been in this kind of situation? If you were told not to go to Oz would you have given the adventure a miss?. Peeps back home mean well but uk people do tend to dwell on negatives, and believe everything in the press there. hence the popularity of mournful progs such as eastenders, ( xmas is near cue disasters on these soaps, and rush for funerals ) and 5 negative stories for every 1 positive lol. here in Oz the spin is more on positive tho a little too much, best country in the world without travelling outside WA, never been here etc. All mean well just have to take the average and what suits yourselves. You will grumble about Oz and you will grumble about the UK, nowhere is perfect ( some tho you would think say otherwise :wink: ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 In my experience of living abroad, i would say if your ready to go home then just do it and dont listern to them. End of the day they dont know how good they have it. you have experienced both sides and it is just time. You are from the UK so naturally you will always be comfortable there so if thats what you want then I would go for it. Jobs are easy to get in the UK if you really want one and are prepared to travel for work (basically motivated). A job like welding shouldnt be a problem. much to the contrary of the media, the Uk is starting to motor towards the good times again regardless of all the news talk of government departments and policy etc... Australia is going the opposite way I'm afraid and I believe in a few years things here will start to become hard, Australia has gone soft in these boom times and is uncompetitive to the rest of the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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