memmymooch Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 So I'm almost at the end of what has been a long visa journey have passed medicals and police checks finally got permission from courts to take kids so all that remains is to submit the papers when they arrive in next couple of weeks and wait for CO to grant the visa which agents estimates to take around 3 weeks. I have a job lined up so its all good was planning on going in June. But here's the thing hubby has bailed on me 10 days ago he decided it was better for his future progression in life to enrol himself onto a 32k MBA which finishes in Sept 2015, he informed me of this by txt msg and said he knows this will be hard for me but it's best for him so we can basically wait patiently to be reunited or we can go our separate ways and its probably easier to go our separate ways and he wishes me and the kids every happiness and success in our new life in oz. following this there was no more communication until he returned home at weekend- he works away during week- he then said rather than me be stuck for funds he would buy me out of the house and also pay for us to take the cat. so now I am looking at making the move as single parent and having to find accommodation much further out from where wanted to be in order to afford rental prices and deal with all the other stuff that comes with living on one wage so pretty daunting stuff but have come so far I don't want to just give up think its best to try am pretty sure can survive rather than always regret not trying. so was just wondering what others would do in my situation ? Oh by the way should say I am main applicant and have no family support here was brought up by dad now dead n mum has no interest in me so not like anyone more here to support me in fact as there was a group of us recruited and all in touch almost certainly would have more social support there mem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Wow. What a story. Well you might as well go I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablo Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Your husband seems to have a very pragmatic/clinical mind,dont think i could be like that over a relationship/marriage tbh,i'd probs be much more emotional about it all,but each to their own i suppose Fwiw,i would still go,i dont think im going to get there now,visa runs out July and i cant sell the house,and thats "more or less" the only £ ive got tbh. However im trying for an RRV,although i dont think i will get it(certain really),but ive put that much into it ive gotta do me best to try and see if Aus is for me. I havent got kids to consider tho,its easier for me,either way,i wish you luck whatever you decide Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritChickx Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 wow what a selfish and cold bastard. You'd be better off without. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 That is, in short, total crap (your husband). What a <insert choice language here> Well, if you have a job and finances to go and everything is in place, why not. If you've not got a support network where you are then you are probably well used to coping on your own and hopefully as you say you'd have some social support there. I'd say give yourselves a chance of a new life in Aus. If its what you want still after all is said and done, go for it and I hope it all works out for you and your children Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galahad Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 ....er - he informed you of this by TEXT !!! GO GIRL - & don't look back..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritChickx Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 I hope he doesn't have a permanant visa btw, make sure he doesn't get his granted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Before you just go along with his ideas, you need legal advice. This is a legal can of worms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Im really sorry to hear that, he sounds very cold. I would make sure you had his full permission to take the kids and go give it a shot. Best of luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Im really sorry to hear that, he sounds very cold. I would make sure you had his full permission to take the kids and go give it a shot. Best of luck x Sounded to me like the children are from a previous relationship? Only she said she had got the legal permission before she knew about the husband bailing out. Well that was my interpretation anyway... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Ahh, im going to start reading threads at least twice before i comment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Sorry but I don't understand when you said you 'got permission from the courts to take kids' when only 10 days ago you and your husband were together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Sorry but I don't understand when you said you 'got permission from the courts to take kids' when only 10 days ago you and your husband were together. As per earlier post, I read it that the children were from previous relationship for that very reason. Just trying to make sense of it, I don't know the facts though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
memmymooch Posted March 23, 2013 Author Share Posted March 23, 2013 Yes Rupert you are correct my children are from previous relationship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablo Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Well im just gonna be totally sexist and agree with you,based on the fact you "might" look like your avatar.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
memmymooch Posted March 23, 2013 Author Share Posted March 23, 2013 Well im just gonna be totally sexist and agree with you,based on the fact you "might" look like your avatar.......... Lol Pablo you joker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legal angel Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 To throw a spanner in the works, and from one single parent to another, I would seriously think very hard about it. I went, and I'd lived there before, and lasted less than a year before returning to Ireland (which I luv). Life is tough enough as a single parent, without uprooting them and you 12,000 miles away from everything you know. Who is going to mind your children whilst you are at work? That was my biggest problem and childcare is expensive. As far as getting a text from your husband saying its over, I'd take him for every penny - he has no class. Not an easy decision, hope it works out for you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victoriagal Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Wow, emotional roller coaster or what? It's a lot to deal with just making the move without the break up too! What visa are you coming on and how old are the kids? As mentioned already childcare is very expensive, schooling is not cheap either and if you are on a 457 you are on your own as no support from the government etc. good luck - rock and a hard place comes to mind reading this so sending a big hug too. :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
memmymooch Posted March 23, 2013 Author Share Posted March 23, 2013 To throw a spanner in the works, and from one single parent to another, I would seriously think very hard about it. I went, and I'd lived there before, and lasted less than a year before returning to Ireland (which I luv). Life is tough enough as a single parent, without uprooting them and you 12,000 miles away from everything you know. Who is going to mind your children whilst you are at work? That was my biggest problem and childcare is expensive. As far as getting a text from your husband saying its over, I'd take him for every penny - he has no class. Not an easy decision, hope it works out for you all. Sorry to hear it didn't work for you but at least you gave it a go and dont have the what if childcare wise I have an au pair here as work outside regular hours and have got one lined up to join us when we move so fingers crossed that will work as well as it does here the kids love having new family member and they all still keep in touch with them. To be fair I never really stopped being single mum he has never been any support with family stuff has apart from few months here n there always worked away. We have no one here no social life it sucks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booma Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Sounds as though you have everything to gain and not much to loose by making the move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Sounds as though you have everything to gain and not much to loose by making the move. What about the children? Do they have any say? They are presumably going to be losing contact with their dad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
memmymooch Posted March 23, 2013 Author Share Posted March 23, 2013 Wow, emotional roller coaster or what? It's a lot to deal with just making the move without the break up too! What visa are you coming on and how old are the kids? As mentioned already childcare is very expensive, schooling is not cheap either and if you are on a 457 you are on your own as no support from the government etc. good luck - rock and a hard place comes to mind reading this so sending a big hug too. :hug: Am coming on 175 so in slightly better position than 457 I know a couple of people in Melbourne old school friend and a former colleague and there is an organisation which matches older people wanting to be surrogate grandparents with families missing theirs so am going to register with them and fingers crossed will be part of good team at work kids are 7 and 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dxboz Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 I would definitely take legal advice before you agree to anything with your husband. I would also go to Oz and make a fresh start. Sounds like you have nothing to lose and have things in place to go - good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Go for it, you have your fellow recruits. Also gets you right out of the picture and you will be so busy no time to dwell on marriage. Have to say that he must have been thinking of this for a while. As others have said better off without him, know that is easy for us to say, but as one book closes another opens if we let it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
memmymooch Posted March 23, 2013 Author Share Posted March 23, 2013 What about the children? Do they have any say? They are presumably going to be losing contact with their dad They have no paternal contact didn't even acknowledge the court proceedings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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