tea4too

I tend to agree @wattsy1982. If people say they love or dislike something they probably do. They may go over the top describing whatever it is, but that’s a subjective judgment too, and who knows whether we are reading a true reaction to an experience or simply how the individual deals with most things in life? Having said that, I too tire of the competitive posts. Not generally the ones that provide an alternative view but the ones where the poster’s default position is to pour scorn on either the UK or Aus. Or worse, where the poster pretends they have no axe to grind yet can’t help themself when it comes to it. However it is relatively easy to skip those contributions because after a while you get to know which posts to avoid. Ultimately though it is PIO, full of very different people with different experiences, likes and dislikes and it’s inevitable that will be reflected in the variety of posts. T x

The 'fake it 'til you make it' approach definitely seems to work for some, and maybe makes it more difficult to look back with positive emotions. But while we have a choice when it comes to our actions, it can be much harder to control how we feel. For me, putting down new roots and feeling part of the community means that home is here, and not the town I was raised. Life is different, more rural (makes a difference @Toots !) and provides opportunities that I didn't get to enjoy before we relocated. However although I wouldn't choose to return to my home town, when I go back to visit family I can see that they are just as content and happy with their lives. 'Home is where the heart is' definitely has a ring of truth.

There is nothing radically wrong with the town where I grew up, my family and friends living there are happy and busy. I on the other hand have moved on, emotionally as well as physically, and while happy to visit would not want to go back to live. It would be a backward step in every sense of the word. Sometimes I think it is less about the place we leave, and more about how much we change with new experiences. T x

I think life tends to go in cycles - tough times, good times, routine/ sometimes boring times, and times when you look back or forward... and wonder. But nothing is forever. You have experienced a lot in a relatively short space of time, so it is not really surprising if life feels a bit out of kilter right now. Maybe Aus will provide you with what you need as a family or maybe you just need to take some time to let life settle down a little, take stock and plan rather than react? The need to find security, a place to call home and a degree of confidence in the future is natural, particularly when you have a family of your own. Whether you need to start again in Aus to achieve all of that is something only you and your partner can decide. But maybe try to take your time to work it through. Looking after a newborn can be tough, but they are not newborn for long. T. x

Hi @Fisher1, Rentokil Australia has all sorts of information about cockroaches, including how to prevent them: "• Eliminate food sources - store dry foods in tightly sealed containers or in sealed plastic bags and do not leave food sitting out on counters. Do not leave liquids in sinks or buckets. • Clear all waste food and liquid spillage - clean up food debris from food preparation areas, under sinks and appliances. Empty the rubbish on a daily basis and keep all garbage or compost in sealed bins. 
• Remove pet food - and drink and litter trays before nightfall. • Rinse cans, bottles and plastics - before putting them in recycling bins.
 • De-clutter - remove old stacks of newspapers and magazines, unused cardboard boxes and all other forms of clutter from the floor or bottom of cupboards. Cockroaches release an aggregation pheromone in their droppings telling others they have found a safe harbourage.
 • Varnish or paint wood shelves - to seal them, and wipe them clean regularly. • Seal entry points - to deny access to cockroaches. Key risks are gaps around pipes, drains and common walls with neighbouring properties when dealing with German, Oriental and American cockroaches. Even tiny cracks around skirting boards and behind electrical sockets should be plugged to reduce potential hiding areas." www.rentokil.com.au/cockroaches/ Hope your time as cockroach terminator is limited ! T x

What’s not true about my post? It reflects my views and, while I guess some people may see a beach lifestyle as a top priority for their family, personally I think a happy childhood depends on far more significant factors...irrespective of the focus of some light entertainment programmes such as WDU. T x

Not sure about this Parley. I agree that a healthy lifestyle is on my list of priorities as a parent, but sea and sand?..... no, they are not on my radar. And a ‘better’ lifestyle is too general an aspiration. How do you measure better? I grew up without many of the things that today’s children take for granted, but my generation were not deprived of love or a sense of purpose. People matter, families matter, education, enough money to make life safe and comfortable, good health, future employment prospects – the list could go on. But my own list wouldn’t include sea and sand . T x

You are not stupid, you are responding to how you feel – and emotions can be unpredictable. You took a huge gamble that life would be better in Aus and it’s only natural to feel anxious if life is not obviously better in the beginning, and even scarier if it actually feels worse. That doesn’t mean you will always feel this way however the next step is probably deciding how long you give it, and what you will do in the meantime to give yourselves a better chance of settling. I would just add that no amount of planning can replace first hand experience. On our first trip to Aus I fully expected to be caught up by a desire to move there, but it didn’t happen for us. It was a great holiday and we have been back several times but home for us is here in Wales. I hope you find what you need to feel settled, be that in Aus or the UK, but in the meantime try not to beat yourself up over how you feel. T x

Sorry @aussiederek, I don't have any experience to offer but I know there are other PIO members who have returned/ are returning to the UK (if not NI) in not too dissimilar circumstances., so hopefully someone will be along shortly to share their thoughts. My own view for what it's worth is that 30 years is a long time, however many people move to Aus in retirement so why not move the other way if that's where your next adventure lies? If you can think of it as your next step rather than a return home, it might be easier to assimilate to the changes and differences you will almost certainly encounter. Holidays will have helped but as you recognise yourself, everything is novel when on holiday and sometimes the daily grind can be a different issue. Good luck with the plans and I hope all goes well. T x

When my brother took his family off to Aus they went full of excitement for the adventure, while those of us left behind simply had to find ways to manage the huge gap their departure created. Over the years there have been visits, both ways, and we all remember birthdays, anniversaries and such like, there are plenty of phone calls and text messages. But we live on the periphery of each other’s lives now and the gaps they initially left have healed over as we adjusted to the absence. I’m not sure how realistic it would be for them to expect to slot right back in if they returned, if for no other reason than family and friends have since found other ways to fill their time. We have all moved on to some extent I guess. How easy it is to settle back into UK life after living elsewhere is possibly another matter. Personally I have a good life here, I actually like the climate and have never really worried about how hot, cold or wet it might be as the weather has rarely stopped us doing anything we wanted to do (possibly because, ever practical, I usually have a Plan B). I like the history here, the abundance of cities with their own distinct style, the villages, the coast line, the national parks, and the National Trust. I’m not keen on shopping but it’s easy enough to order groceries on line and have them delivered to my door, and any other shopping I tend to use as an excuse to make a day of it with lunch thrown in for good measure. Occasionally I venture to out of town retail parks as they have most of the big names, and I like the fact that the car parking is free. It can be dark, wet and cold in the winter months, but with spring just around the corner it is lovely to see the daffodils starting to emerge, and I’ve noticed it already stays light that little bit longer each day. In a month or so the Cherry tree in my garden will be in full bloom and I’ll get to spend more time in the garden. My summerhouse will come into it’s own if it turns out to be a wet spring. I am not in any way disagreeing with @Geordie girl as our thoughts, views and experiences are personal to each of us, it’s just that sometimes there is more than one way to experience the same thing. Any relocation is a risk and a MBTTUK is no different in that respect but, for me at least, it’s good to be here. T x

Children generally thrive if they feel loved and secure, have friends and a range of interests and things to do - and they can have all of that and more in both countries. They are both first world, life is different but not necessarily better or worse. My Aussie nephews and their UK cousins were taught different foreign languages and took up different sports, the academic ones went to Uni while the more practical found work after leaving school, but apart from the lilt of their accents you would be hard pushed to know where any of them were raised. T x

This site might be helpful - www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/housing-options/returning-to-the-uk-after-living-abroad-heading/ I do understand why you may want to return home, but you are dealing with an awful lot just now and like @Tulip1 I wonder whether a trip back to the UK to touch base with old memories and remaining family / friends might be be what you need, rather than all the anxiety and stress associated with moving half way round the world? Whatever you decide I wish you well. Take care. T x

Newcastle, England! With Wales coming in at a credible Number Five - ahead of Cuba, Russia, Nw Orleans, Chile and Sierra Leone. Good news for the UK tourist economy. www.roughguides.com/best-places-to-travel/the-rough-guide-to-2018/

To be honest I am not aware of houses with security grilles either. We have family in various parts of the UK and I think it's something I would have noticed, but I really haven't. And while I have only visited Aus a handful of times, I too have been asked to open my bag when out shopping. I was a bit taken aback the first time and asked why, which seemed to fluster the member of staff a little but she eventually replied that it was store policy. It seemed a bit random and I got the impression that it had less to do with any suspected theft and more to do with a quota for bag checks, so it would be interesting to know just how successful it is as a strategy to combat shoplifting. T x

Well said Australia. T x

Another issue to consider is devolution as healthcare provision is not identical across England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. The home countries manage their individual NHS budgets and decide priorities. This can and does make a difference, for example you will pay for a prescription in England unless you qualify for an exemption, however in the rest of the UK prescriptions are free. A drug available under the NHS in one country will not necessarily be funded by the NHS in another. This link to the Scottish Government website might be worth checking out if you haven't already seen it. T x www.gov.scot/Topics/Health/Services

The UK has a temperate climate and unpredictable weather. How much that affects you on a day to day basis is down to the individual I guess, so maybe the UK weather system does cause some posters to hibernate for up to 7 months of the year. I think it a bit sad though as it seems to be a personal choice rather than a necessity. Most people I know are pretty happy to just get on with things. It may require a different outfit, taking the car rather than walking, devising a Plan B incase Plan A goes pear shaped….but very rarely does it mean a boring life with nothing to do other than argue about who will turn up the central heating thermostat ! Tx

It seems that an ABN allows you to: ◦ confirm your business identity to others when ordering and invoicing; ◦ avoid Pay as You Go (PAYG) tax on payments you receive; ◦ claim Goods and Services Tax (GST) credits; ◦ claim energy grants credits; ◦ obtain an Australian domain name. Apparently not everyone needs an ABN, but if you apply and are not entitled to one you’ll receive a letter explaining why. In which case, it might be worth applying? www.business.gov.au/info/plan-and-start/start-your-business/business-and-company-registration/register-for-an-australian-business-number-abn

There is no right or wrong way to do things at times like this, it is just a case of muddling through as best you can. The loss of a loved one is totally heartbreaking, but terminal illness is an extra dark shadow because the need to mourn starts too soon and clouds every thought. It makes the simplest of decisions horrendously difficult and throws up too many ‘what ifs’ when you least need them. Listen to your heart and if that means a return home, then that is the right thing to do. @Quoll is right, there will be ways to stay connected with your family during this really difficult time and other ways to take part in the funeral without actually being there. I was at a service recently that had a webcam facility for family members unable to attend, and that might be something to check out or consider. Take care, @MiniCooper and big ((hugs)). T x

Major changes in life are often nerve wracking and full of ‘have I done the right thing?’ moments, but feeling stuck at home on your own with a toddler can be wearing wherever you live. If you haven’t already done so check your local library for details of mother and toddler groups, and contact the local leisure centre to see what they provide (things like soft play and swimming sessions for mums and toddlers are often subsidised and reasonably priced), the internet is also great for discovering a range of activities in your area geared to pre-schoolers. Getting out and about and meeting other mums is a great way to put down roots when you are new to an area, and it also provides your little one with opportunities to develop in preparation for the big day when s/he starts nursery or school. Whether the move back to the UK was ultimately the right decision or not, it makes sense to capitalise on every opportunity you have to enjoy the here and now. And as a mum you are almost guaranteed to find like minded people if you look for them. Good luck T x

If weather is a key reason for migrating it may pay to do a bit of careful research before finally deciding where to settle. Aus is huge and as a result there is not one single weather system or climate that defines the country. T x http://www.australia.gov.au/about-australia/australian-story/austn-weather-and-the-seasons

Albeit some years ago, the initiative was subject to those very issues in the UK and part of the reasoning for not extending the policy at that time. I guess much will depend on the criteria used to measure success. If it is enough for welfare recipients to be prevented from buying alcohol and drugs it should be possible to produce statistics demonstrating that a welfare card delivers that. If the aim is to reduce welfare recipient's dependency and use of/on alcohol and drugs , a completely different and more involved/ expensive approach would be needed to evaluate success. However, in the meantime the majority of ordinary people that have fallen on hard times find themselves caught up in the politics, publicly labelled as someone not to be trusted to spend their benefit wisely. T x

Defining how a welfare payment must be used is unlikely to deter those determined to fund an alcohol, drug or gambling habit (they will find alternative means, including selling at a knock down price foodstuff and other items purchased with the welfare card). As such the people most likely to be impacted by its introduction are the majority for whom the card is not targeted. And few would support a parent depriving their children of food, shelter or clothing to fund an addiction or even their own selfishness, but that scenario is not restricted to people in receipt of welfare payments. It is a much wider issue and, imo, government funding and policies to tackle the problem and it’s consequences should focus more closely on those directly affected. However, taking on board your point about looking for workable solutions....in the case of families struggling as a result of the main benefit recipient misspending, perhaps the allowance could be spilt so that the 'responsible' carer for children receives the bulk of the welfare payment?

I agree that we are all affected by fraud to some extent, but I am not generally conscious of being treated differently from others because of it. Requiring children to queue up separately because their school meals are free is may be a more direct comparison. A welfare system designed to provide people with enough support to keep a roof over their head, feed and clothe themselves can also allow for some dignity. If the aim of the welfare card is to encourage people to spend their money more wisely I really don’t think it will make much difference to those determined not to. However if it is an attempt to force all welfare recipients into a more frugal lifestyle with no ‘luxuries’, because they have not earned them, the card will probably do that to an extent. But it is likely to impact disproportionally and uncessarily on the more genuine, imo. T x

This is not a new initiative. Supermarket vouchers have been issued as emergency dole payments in the UK in the past. They were not valid for alcohol, tobacco or confectionery, but people determined to abuse the system sold the vouchers or the food received to pay for their alcohol and cigarettes. There will always be a minority determined to abuse the system, irrespective of what that system is or what the consequences are, and I don’t think the majority should be held to account because of them. Most people facing hard times are vulnerable but not inherently dishonest ime, and I’m not sure what is really achieved by forcing individuals to publicly declare themselves as benefit recipients by handing over a welfare card every time they go shopping. The real work-shy won’t be bothered, and the genuine are at risk of being needlessly humiliated. T x