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Antipodista

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About Antipodista

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  1. Antipodista

    Merseyside area

    My cousin lives in Crosby, it’s ace, lots going on. The Wirral (where I grew up) is still lovely, we have friends there so we are there all the time. Heswall is really nice but property there is v expensive.
  2. With respect, that is both unhelpful and unkind to the OP. I don’t think at any point she was asking for marriage guidance. And isn’t it true that the best advice comes from those with experience of your situation? I doubt the OP has reams of mates with experience of having emigrated in a difficult marriage. Geez.
  3. Hi Sarah I don’t wish to be dramatic but if you are having wobbles and your husband has made it clear that once you are there he is staying put - And you have children - DO NOT GO unless and until you are sure OR until you are confident that you will be able to live somewhere for the rest of your days that you aren’t truly happy. To do that your relationship will have to be absolutely rock-solid and it sounds like it isn’t . I am speaking from bitter experience. Sorry to sound dramatic but I wish someone had said it to me!! xx
  4. Antipodista

    Scotland or Melbourne?

    Hi there...my feelings changed so dramatically after I had my first child my husband couldn’t understand it. The homesickness became so difficult and emotional and I felt such a nagging loneliness. It also felt odd to me bringing my child up in a childhood and place so different from my own. That being said, I always assumed that it was “grass is greener” syndrome and that I’d magically recognise how much better Aus was once is been back in the UK for more than a few months and the shine had worn off! That unfortunately didn’t happen and it became apparent that the UK was where I feel I belong and life for me and the children is, for now, best and easiest. A trip back for you is crucial and I would make it as long as you can. Do an “act as if” you are living back - try to get an air bnb instead of staying with relatives, look at jobs, try to stay long enough that you are less of a novelty to friends and family, visit some schools etc etc, then assess from there. As someone who’s been there and is still going through it, feel free to DM. And my help for homesickness is to pop your favourite UK comedy show on Netflix and binge-watch xx
  5. Antipodista

    Scotland or Melbourne?

    Hi there...my feelings changed so dramatically after I had my first child my husband couldn’t understand it. The homesickness became so difficult and emotional and I felt such a nagging loneliness. It also felt odd to me bringing my child up in a childhood and place so different from my own. That being said, I always assumed that it was “grass is greener” syndrome and that I’d magically recognise how much better Aus was once is been back in the UK for more than a few months and the shine had worn off! That unfortunately didn’t happen and it became apparent that the UK was where I feel I belong and life for me and the children is, for now, best and easiest. A trip back for you is crucial and I would make it as long as you can. Do an “act as if” you are living back - try to get an air bnb instead of staying with relatives, look at jobs, try to stay long enough that you are less of a novelty to friends and family, visit some schools etc etc, then assess from there. As someone who’s been there and is still going through it, feel free to DM. And my help for homesickness is to pop your favourite UK comedy show on Netflix and binge-watch xx
  6. Antipodista

    Wanting to move back to Australia

    My gosh. How do you feel about that?
  7. Antipodista

    Wanting to move back to Australia

    My gosh. How do you feel about that?
  8. Antipodista

    Wanting to move back to Australia

    @Parley I understand to an extent where you are coming from but life isn’t so simple. If one of your children had married someone overseas in entirely good faith that they would have no intention of needing to ever return to their home country then, say, you got very ill, or they became incredibly depressed due to situational depression that they had never envisaged, or their work and career prospects were entirely thwarted by that country and their mental health was being severely impacted by living there and their spouse refused to allow them to return for even a few years...your response to your child would be “yep, no hard luck stories please. You made the decision to live there all those years ago so tough?” There are no rights and wrongs and I don’t think it is black and white. Both parties need to go into an expat marriage with eyes open - to say “well I told you I never wanted to live there!” might give you the moral high-ground but it won’t give you a happy and loving marriage.
  9. Antipodista

    Wanting to move back to Australia

    Oh I really feel for you. I’m in the opposite position with partner as in I’d like to stay in the UK and he loves Aus, but I did feel the same when he refused to spend any time here. It ultimately led to the breakdown of our relationship and it’s awful. I don’t have any answers for you but what I would say is that there has to be some reciprocity - at some point he will have to spend some time there. I think when you enter into a relationship where you come from different countries it is naive to assume that you can live in your/chosen country and the other one will have to put up with it. That’s not how life - or marriages - should work. If I had the answers maybe I wouldn’t be in the position I am in now but I just wanted to respond to say I understand fully how you feel and to please DM me if you like! X
  10. Antipodista

    Move home? :-0

    Have you thought about Melbourne? That’s a bit of a halfway house, though I suspect the wage thing will be the same. Im back in the UK for now and locked in what seems like a perpetual struggle with my husband about it. I was never bowled over by Aus but grew to like it...then came to dislike it! I didn’t realize that though until I got back here. Once I had my kids the sense of homesickness just became intolerable and I missed being able to show my kids the things I loved about my childhood - autumn leaves and conkers, cold Christmases where everyone makes a massive fuss, playing in the snow, snowdrops and the buds in spring, strawberry and apple picking, national trust places and castles...its only since I’ve been back that you realize the diversity of things to do with kids here and I didn’t find it there. I bounced between the beach (which is nice but not the be all and end all) and the local RSL and shopping mall. That was it and it just was not for me. Also I found it far easier to make meaningful connections here, it’s more relaxed. I got sick in Aus of sitting in the playgrounds by myself hoping to hear an English accent or a conversation I could get involved in. I didn’t realize how lonely I was. that being said some people thrive there (most, if the hype is to be believed. There is a sense of “if you don’t love Aus there must be something wrong with you - don’t believe that!) I’d give it a few more months and if you have the resources try another area. Have the babies (the maternity healthcare was great in my experience) and see how you settle. But you aren’t mad for not loving it and if you do go home - that’s ok. It’s not for everyone (even though we get told that it is!!)
  11. Antipodista

    Move home? :-0

    What a tough position you are in But congratulations on your pregnancy! In my experience, whilst you might be able to start tolerating feeling displaced a bit better, if you are feeling this now when this is supposed to be the migration honeymoon period, things won’t improve. You could try the East Coast but do you have the resources to do so? Do you have a lot of family support in the UK? My views on Aus totally changed once I had babies there. The positive to it all is that you’ve given things a go and you are both on the same page - when one loves it and one hates it that’s worse than tricky! See how you feel after Christmas. There’s no shame in going home if you choose and being satisfied that you had a go at it and scratched the itch that you’ve had for years!
  12. Antipodista

    Knowsley

    @Amber Snowball I’m in Frodsham! Let me know if you ever fancy catching up for a coffee
  13. Antipodista

    Knowsley

    Hi Amber I’ve just seen this - we are in Frodsham! Where did you end up in the end?
  14. Antipodista

    Partner wants to go back, I don't!

    Hi Austaff Im so sorry to hear your dilemma. I am in a similar one which seems to never end! One thing I would say is that I note you have spoken about the children missing out on an outdoor life in the UK...I thought that before we came back here but it just isn’t true. Yes there are times when it is too cold to go out...but there are times in Aus when it is too hot to go out and play, too. I am outside with my kids all the time - if it’s cold, we stick a coat on and go. I feel (just my opinion) that the variance to weather here makes kids (or at least mine) less dependent on sunshine for their mood - we have fun whatever the weather. I have a husband who is totally in love with Australia and think my kids are being deprived not being there so we are in the opposite situation to you, but honestly kids can have a wonderful childhood here or there. Christmas and Halloween are a bit more fun and magical here, too And the access to Europe where they can see so many different sights and hear different languages is wonderful for kids. there are pros and cons to both - I feel getting over here for a recce visit is crucial for both of you.
  15. Antipodista

    Cost to UK family of 4

    Hi All We are living in the UK but I wondered if anyone has done a return trip from Aus to UK recently and how much flights etc cost? Hard to get a proper idea from here on t’internet. cheers
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