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Bobj last won the day on May 20

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About Bobj

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  1. Sent: Wednesday, December 11, 2019 10:54 PM Subject: FW: Fwd: Lawn Care There is more than a grain of truth in this fable. GOD to ST. FRANCIS: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles. St. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass. GOD: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there? ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn. GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy. ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it --- sometimes twice a week. GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay? ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags. GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it? ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away. GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away? ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir. GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work. ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it. GOD: What nonsense At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes It's a natural cycle of life. ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away. GOD: No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose? ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves. GOD: And where do they get this mulch? ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch. GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight? ST. CATHERINE: “Dumb and Dumber”, Lord. It's a story about.... GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis. Cheers, Bobj.
  2. The Guardian begs for donations to spread fake news Where is Perthbum when he is needed? Cheers, Bobj.
  3. At 78, I’ve nevr had it. Had chicken pox at age 9 Cheers, Bobj.
  4. @Toots, a belated birthday greeting to you. Many, many more to come. Cheers, Bobj.
  5. What a lovely coincidence! We had a couple of beautiful people here for the day and wanted them to stay, too. Cheers, Bobj.
  6. Bobj

    The Ice Age is coming.

    27C t'other night at Downtown Ball Bay. Rose up to 33C. Cheers, Bobj.
  7. Bobj

    The Ice Age is coming.

    The Ice Age Is Coming... Thoroughly enjoyed it...liked the squirrel thingo looking for his acorn.and the sloth Chappy. Not that Ice Age? Cheers, Bobj.
  8. Aldo caught a catfish and wanted to join our group, once. Some people are hypocrites, aren’t they? Cheers, Bobj.
  9. Thumb severing main artery, dead in a second. Cheers, Bobj.
  10. I remember in the late 1940s and early 50s that mothers would send their kids, especially daughters, to play with the kid who had chickenpox. Years later I found out the reason for that; supposedly, the girls would not contract chickenpox later on in their child bearing years. Cheers, Bobj.
  11. Bobj


    @Dusty Plains, mate try big Barra fishing. A bloke in Mackay caught a 138 cm Barra in Kinchant, our local dam, There is a caravan/camping area right on the edge of the dam. My biggest from there was 115 cm. Infinitely better than trout... Cheers, Bobj. Adding, it was 114 cm
  12. Bobj

    RIP Bob Willis

    It was Because of his red socks... One of the better English cricketers. Cheers, Bobj.
  13. Bobj

    Most Common Surnames

    Smiffy has a lot of explaining to do... Cheers, Bobj.
  14. Bobj


    @Zac Thanks, mate. Where to? And, what are you after? Got a 2 kg golden snapper this morning. It was delicicious. Going again tomorrow at 4.45 A couple of big Barra hanging around. Cheers, Bobj.