Guest Guest31881 Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Reading your posts I can understand your feelings and knowing what has been going I think its time to sit down take a deep breath and take stock of your situation. You do not have to make a decision today or tomorrow infact you may be better leaving it till after Christmas and see how you feel. Its OK for us sitting at our computers and saying "Yes go for it" or "No stay here". We cannot feel what you feel, So take a break from thinking about it and relax for a couple of days, clear your head and then see how you feel. You have plenty of friends on here who will support you whatever you decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmaroo Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 Reading your posts I can understand your feelings and knowing what has been going I think its time to sit down take a deep breath and take stock of your situation. You do not have to make a decision today or tomorrow infact you may be better leaving it till after Christmas and see how you feel. Its OK for us sitting at our computers and saying "Yes go for it" or "No stay here". We cannot feel what you feel, So take a break from thinking about it and relax for a couple of days, clear your head and then see how you feel. You have plenty of friends on here who will support you whatever you decide. Your right Colin I need to stop thinking about it and just relax! I'll be back! :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MontyClaude Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 I feel for you, it's a tough decision. I have a lot of family in the highlands so not exactly city living, some are doing well others are struggling but Edinburgh would have more prospects. The fact that you have booked the flight may be enough to keep you sane for a while? How much time would you need to give here I.e before flight will be lost, breaking lease etc.? Have a good Christmas, you never know the sweltering heat here and pelting snow there might make up your mind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 From what I've heard, the major group that's struggling with getting a job are the school and uni leavers, who've got no experience in the workforce and those who've been out of work for a while. It's always been said that it's easier to find a job if you're in a job. You've got a head start, you've got recent employment and references up your sleeve, so that puts you at the top of the pile for the jobs you apply for. If you definitely don't want to spend the rest of your life in Australia, then I would go home now, it will probably be a steep hill to get yourself established, but you are hitting the ground running, so I'm sure you'll get there eventually. Good luck, whatever you decide :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skani Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Emmaroo, I haven't been following your situation closely but, if I understand correctly, you have suffered a separation since arriving here? You will therefore be going through a grief process which can be just as painful as the death of a loved one. The advice from trained grief counsellors is not to make a major life decision for at least 18 months after the event because rational decision making is so affected by emotions. I understand that being away from home throws an added factor into your situation but their advice might be something worth considering. All the best, Vivien Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I don't that can apply in this case. By staying in Australia Emma would be making the decision to continue to settle in Australia, which is a major life decision in itself... Personally, I've already made the decision. If anything happens to my husband, I'll be upping sticks back to Europe at the earliest opportunity. Much as I like Australia, it's not enough to keep me away from my friends and family if I'm on my own. Having made the decision when I'm rational means I won't have to make that decision when I'm not in an emotional state to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmaroo Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 Emmaroo, I haven't been following your situation closely but, if I understand correctly, you have suffered a separation since arriving here? You will therefore be going through a grief process which can be just as painful as the death of a loved one. The advice from trained grief counsellors is not to make a major life decision for at least 18 months after the event because rational decision making is so affected by emotions. I understand that being away from home throws an added factor into your situation but their advice might be something worth considering. All the best, Vivien Vivien You are right in what you say, my long term relationship did end in March and I am still greiving over that. If I am honest I know that most of my recent decisions have been made due to my emotional state of mind. The natural thing to do is to run away from where I associate that hurt & sadness with and that is here as this where the relationship ended. I booked my flight home last week as I was upset but now having calmed down and re- evaluated things I am not sure I was in the right frame of mind to have made that choice. So, I am going to go away to Bali for my holiday and try not worry about this for a couple of weeks and then I can look at it again in the New Year. Thanks Emma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
landv Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Emma, didn't you mention in one of your earlier posts that your job here will disappear within the next 3 months? If so, I would just take the opportunity to go back to Scotland as planned, yes the job situation is shaky,but not impossible, you might just have to think outside of the box, cover a wider area when looking for jobs etc. You have made the decision to go home, you have to try your best to stick with it and don't let doubts set in.... I know, it is tough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest51237 Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Hi there, I totally understand your dilema. What does your gut instinct tell you? I am unsure if they will help or not but here are some possible suggestions: Register with appropriate recruitment agencies Job search through LinkedIn (assuming you already have a profile, if not it's worth creating a good, professional profile and making contacts through the site) Talk to any contacts you may have back in the UK Best of luck and keep us all posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legoman Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 lots of really good advice and shows lots of people care too, the flight is 3 months away so no need for any decision, enjoy all that christmas here has to offer then new year, australia day, put it to the back of your mind until feb, things can change, either way, at least in scotland you know what to expect and have that all important network, where you are at the moment the glass is definately half full and you can afford to sit back and wait Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablo Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Great advice,couldnt add to it,other than agree with Fou,maybe put some feelers out to suss out the work situ back home,difficult from over there but worth a try All the best whatever you decide Emma:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lottie Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Hi Emma I can totally understand your concerns. No one can give you the answer as to what to do but some very good advice has been offered. Taking a holiday & some time to think things through sounds like just the ticket but make sure you have a fun time as well. Try not to let it get you down too much, stay positive & all will come good in the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest VickyMel Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 surely u would have considered all this before u booked the flights last week :huh:mrs keily I think sometimes that you have to do something like booking a flight or handing in your notice to know whether you are making the correct decision - until you actually do it it the realities of the situation may not hit you fully. And regardless of what decision you do make, remember you have to do what is best for your welfare, state of mind or whatever else it is termed as. Even if you change your mind another 10 times - you are allowed! :hug: I'm with Adonna on this one - you are allowed to change your mind as often as you like until you get it right. So, I am going to go away to Bali for my holiday and try not worry about this for a couple of weeks and then I can look at it again in the New Year. Great decision - take your time and delay your flight if you want to give it a bit longer. I'm sure if you decide to go home you will search and find yourself a job. I think you should think more about what you want and feel now and compare that to how you want to be in the future and decide what is best for you. :hug:take your time and know you can come in here and scream and change your mind as often as you like - we have pretty much all spent loads of time in confused.com ourselves for a variety of reasons - and many of us continue to do so on a regular basis :wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmaroo Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 What a Bl**dy fantastic group of people are on here! Not one of you has sat in judgement of me or anything you have all just given me such lovely much needed support. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. You don't know how much it means to me to have this forum to share all my concerns with. I will take all the advice on board and give it serious thought and like I said just mull over for a wee while and come back to it when my emotions are not so frought! Lots of :hug: Emma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 If you still have your job in Australia why not keep it and treat going to the UK as a holiday. If you like it there, resign from there. I've done that twice here in Australia - quit jobs in England I mean. Maybe, you can get extra time off - unpaid - from your job here? If the job has dried up, well, just go and enjoy a holiday. Do you have to 'burn all your bridges?' Resign from your job, get rid of all your personal effects here? I went back to the UK for twelve years, stored my personal effects in my garage and rented out my flat. Now, I've done the same thing in reverse, stored all my personal effects in the loft in England and rented the house out. I'm obviously not from the 'make a clean break' school of thought! There's no right or wrong decision, more like two (or more) right decisions. Go back and you might love it or you might realize that Australia is not so bad after all. Places tend to sometimes grow on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckleface Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Vivien You are right in what you say, my long term relationship did end in March and I am still greiving over that. If I am honest I know that most of my recent decisions have been made due to my emotional state of mind. The natural thing to do is to run away from where I associate that hurt & sadness with and that is here as this where the relationship ended. I booked my flight home last week as I was upset but now having calmed down and re- evaluated things I am not sure I was in the right frame of mind to have made that choice. So, I am going to go away to Bali for my holiday and try not worry about this for a couple of weeks and then I can look at it again in the New Year. Thanks Emma Emma -while a holiday sounds like a good idea please review the current DFAT travel warning for Bali. http://www.smartraveller.gov.au/zw-cgi/view/Advice/Indonesia Hope life is kind to you whatever you decide to do in the future Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 when you come back and when Whichway comes back to scotland too then we're meetin up for a few vodkas!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GlobeTrotta Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Hey Emmaroo, ScotishStacey seems to be correct. Doing my daily job search here and there, decided to have a butchers and guess what I found a couple well 3 decent enough 20k quid plus jobs. But then hit the big time this might be something you can have a go for as its at The University of Edinburgh posting receiving applications until 13 January 2012, no reason not to send a cv and if they are at all interested you could always skype an interview they do that all the time in academia for academics, research fellows that I know first hand. So, here is the link http://www.jobs.ed.ac.uk/vacancies/index.cfm?fuseaction=vacancies.detail&vacancy_ref=3015133 it pays 25-29k quid Anyway stay positive and as I said before I'd email some agencies and apply for anything and everything over there and stay on top of the search daily, and another thought is to relocate in OZ, try Melbourne new scenery less memories and all that. You are exhibiting all the concerns I have so you are not alone! Rgds :skeptical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KarenMer Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Hi emmaroo, This will always be your decision, but when I first arrived here as a backpacker I had the choice to extend my visa and fly return to the UK for a wedding or change my round the world ticket and go home early. I changed my round the world ticket and as I felt it was the right thing to do, as soon as I did it I knew it was the wrong decision! It all worked out in the long run and as you only have a one way ticket that could easily be extended or turned into a return sure it will 4 u 2, but as said b4 in this post sometimes once u have done what you were thinking about u realise it was the wrong decision! All the best whichever side of the world u end up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 I think that it is fear or nerves or whatever you like to call it. As soon as I made the decision to go home and started putting action into place I started to think, is this the right decision, economy, money all that sort of stuff. But essentially I know I will be happier in Scotland and I am probably only feeling like this because now I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and hence my mood has improved. Perhaps it is the same for you. It's all this heart over head stuff. Your head seems to be telling you Scotland is in dire straights but what about your heart? I saw something today that made me think "Are you here for a good time or a long time". I'd follow my heart, lost time can't be recovered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 when you come back and when Whichway comes back to scotland too then we're meetin up for a few vodkas!! Are you still coming to Oz in March? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Are you still coming to Oz in March? No :cry: things didnt work out with the company, We still havent found a sponsor for digger drivers and its probably going to be a long time before we do, if at all. I want to go so much and dave does too but i think he probably feels like hes holding me back because i can go over on a WHV but he cant, It's a shame. Emma if i can think of any new companies for you to try then I'll give you a shout! :wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmaroo Posted December 7, 2011 Author Share Posted December 7, 2011 Thanks Stacey! If I hear of anything that would help you get here then I will let you know! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 I dont think theres anything other than bribing the DIAC or leaving poor dave behind unfortunately lol. Aaah maybe get there one day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest anitaw Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 I dont think theres anything other than bribing the DIAC or leaving poor dave behind unfortunately lol. Aaah maybe get there one day Stacey, I have only been on this forum for a few days and love your posts. Do you want to come to Oz? Where there is a will there is a way. Love to meet you in Sydney for a few voddies. How can we help you get into this awesome land? :idea: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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