JoandJon Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Just got back from my local pub - the doorman knows my name, the barstaff do too, pleased to see me, as I was to see them. Couple of schooners, one free because I had to wait a couple of moments but really the barmaid was just being kind to me. She gave me a mug of soup too before I came home. On the way down there I stopped at a 7-11 to get The Australian and started talking to the bloke in there - from Jordan. I asked him about Ramadan. On the way back I nodded 'gidday' to another bloke outside the pub. Is it really so hard to fit in and have a decent life? If you make the effort you can fit in almost anywhere It's almost easier as a 'foreigner' because you can blame it on the culture differences :biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 This second time in OZ I have 'pushed' myself to talk to people and now I know the people who run all the local shops outside my flat. I followed another bloke out of the Seals club in Maroubra earlier on and whereas he just walked out of the door, I turned to the girl on the desk and said 'good night'. I've got one good friend whom I met this year at Neilsen Park. I just said hello one day and now we speak most days or meet up for coffee. I stopped to talk to the doorman in a hotel in the Finger Wharf at Wooloomooloo (did I spell that right?) the other night, said to him 'to think they wanted to demolish this!' and he responded and told me about the refurbishment. On the other hand I suppose I could just 'Scrooge' about, scowling and harping, spreading English 'sunshine' around! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoandJon Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Attitude change is definitely the cheaper option:biglaugh: And possibly the least likely outcome (or am I just being cynical!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paisleylass Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Heh, I'm a bit like Maryrose, often randomly chat to folk here in my hometown, sometimes while waiting to be served at the pub, or if I hear a Canadian or American accent on the bus (I work near Glasgow Airport) I offer local advice and ask where they are from. This tendency is bound to go into overdrive in Australia, so we should do ok. Hubby is quiet, I do enough gabbing for us both! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 You've been in australia a lot longer than the OP. It usually takes a while to fit in and it sounds like hes in the wrong town or state so maybe he should try another one. I had my ups and downs when I first arrived but I never felt as bitter as he is. I never thought 'I hate EVERYTHING' about this place whether it was Perth (whch I loved - checked my diary to confirm that!) or Sydney. There was nothing about Australia and Australians that stood out as nasty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 This second time in OZ I have 'pushed' myself to talk to people and now I know the people who run all the local shops outside my flat. I followed another bloke out of the Seals club in Maroubra earlier on and whereas he just walked out of the door, I turned to the girl on the desk and said 'good night'. I've got one good friend whom I met this year at Neilsen Park. I just said hello one day and now we speak most days or meet up for coffee. I stopped to talk to the doorman in a hotel in the Finger Wharf at Wooloomooloo (did I spell that right?) the other night, said to him 'to think they wanted to demolish this!' and he responded and told me about the refurbishment. On the other hand I suppose I could just 'Scrooge' about, scowling and harping, spreading English 'sunshine' around! Works for me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathancowen Posted September 1, 2011 Author Share Posted September 1, 2011 After reading your posts I suspect that you never wanted to go to OZ in the first place. I think that you might want to have a little talk with yourself to find out whether OZ is really the problem. If you go into a situation expecting the worst it is more than likely going to turn out bad for you. Like one of the other poster said, people are probably feeling the your hostility towards them and reflecting it back to you. Somebody also mentioned "Culture Shock", it is a very real problem, Google it, if you know it is going to happen you can understand why you feel like you do and you can combat it. Try an experiment, next time you go out try a "Hi " and a smile to the next person you meet. Even if they don't reciprocate you will feel better and I'm sure in time things will change. I hope things work out for you! Whilst I'm trying not to be offended by the fact you seem to believe I haven't made any effort with people here I have to say that no matter where in the world I have been, with the exception of Morocco I have managed to make many friends by simply talking to people. I come from a small village where if you don't know someone, you talk to them, but here I find that most people I meet just answer my questions or respond to my hello's but never engage back. Now maybe it is the culture here to never say thank you if someone gets out of your way or holds a door open for you, but I cant help but find it rude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathancowen Posted September 1, 2011 Author Share Posted September 1, 2011 You sound as though you should try Tasmania - the best place in Oz for doing physical activity without dissolving into a pool of sweat and looking like a boiled beetroot. We do get "climate refugees" from Queensland :yes: We moved here because my English mother couldn't stand the heat and humidity on the north coast of NSW - but she loved it here. And we here in Hobart have one third the rainfall of southern Queensland :biggrin: Running and cycling (both road and mountainbiking) are very big here and the surf is not always packed as only the really committed ones surf through the cooler months (in wetsuits). I'm not an expert on gyms but there are a lot of gyms around and the one attached to the Aquatic Centre where I swim regularly seems well equipped: http://www.hobartcity.com.au/Recreation/The_Hobart_Aquatic_Centre/Fitness_Domain Other outdoor activities like orienteering, rowing, kayaking, rock climbing etc. are also very accessible here - there's water and mountains wherever you go. The new arrivals here seem to find the locals very friendly and chatty. But of course it may be out of the question for your wife :sad: You may get the typical Queensland reaction.."It's too cold!!" That sounds much more me!!!!! Looking at flights for a holiday now, thanks buddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Whilst I'm trying not to be offended by the fact you seem to believe I haven't made any effort with people here I have to say that no matter where in the world I have been, with the exception of Morocco I have managed to make many friends by simply talking to people. I come from a small village where if you don't know someone, you talk to them, but here I find that most people I meet just answer my questions or respond to my hello's but never engage back. Now maybe it is the culture here to never say thank you if someone gets out of your way or holds a door open for you, but I cant help but find it rude. similar observations have been made on this thread mate: http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/moving-back-uk/109992-miserable-bored.html you are definitely not alone in your opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathancowen Posted September 1, 2011 Author Share Posted September 1, 2011 similar observations have been made on this thread mate: http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/moving-back-uk/109992-miserable-bored.html you are definitely not alone in your opinion. Good, at least I know its not personal :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skani Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 That sounds much more me!!!!! Looking at flights for a holiday now, thanks buddy I know that Virgin, at least, do direct flights Brisbane to Hobart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Melbourne may well be worth considering, you would probably have better luck in the job situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewebweazel Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Whilst I'm trying not to be offended by the fact you seem to believe I haven't made any effort with people here I have to say that no matter where in the world I have been, with the exception of Morocco I have managed to make many friends by simply talking to people. I come from a small village where if you don't know someone, you talk to them, but here I find that most people I meet just answer my questions or respond to my hello's but never engage back. Now maybe it is the culture here to never say thank you if someone gets out of your way or holds a door open for you, but I cant help but find it rude. Sorry M8 I'm not trying to offend you, but I can only draw my conclusions from what you have posted, thats the problem with the internet sometimes what you wrote and what I read are are not the same:biggrin:, but I still get that feeling that you never really wanted to go to Oz and if that is so it might have tainted your view. Now compared to you I have very little experience of Australia, having only spent 6 weeks there, but I did Australians very approachable and helpful. Actually too helpful sometimes, there were times that I felt like saying "B*gger Off, I would really like to read my map in peace" Even when I hurled abuse as I felt ripped off in Sydney when the Ticket Seller on the Ferries wouldn't reduce my fare after producing a student card, he took it with grace and a couple of good natured comebacks. In England I would have got the standard " Our staff has the right to work without verbal abuse no matter how big a @#$!?*& they are being, If you continue to abuse then we will call the police, rip your leg off and shoot your dog". The only place that I did feel offended in OZ was in a Supermarket when they wanted to search my wifes day pack (she's not the one that looks dodgy), hell they don't even do that in Africa where anything goes! I think we have to realise that we are dealing with a different culture here (stating the obvious :biggrin:) and although customs are familiar they are not totally the same. For instance just because an Ozzie is friendly towards you doesn't mean that they want to be you friend and if you are called a "Bastard" doesn't mean they dislike you. For our own good, we (migrants) need to adapt and pack away the defence mechanisms until we know the lie of the land. P.S Try holding a door open for someone in London, you are unlikely to get a thanks, and that is why I have given up on the practice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 I know that, Virgin! Steady on...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skani Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Steady on...... Steady on yourself, harpodom....stop fiddling with my commas :tongue: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 You have quite a good sense of humour for a mod lol :tongue::laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skani Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Now maybe it is the culture here to never say thank you if someone gets out of your way or holds a door open for you, but I cant help but find it rude. I always say thankyou in those situations and I see and hear lots of others do it here, too. I usually get a wave of the hand for letting another car in front of me in traffic or for letting a pedestrian cross. Maybe it's a Queensland (or Buderim?) thing not to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal2 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 I live in a village in the Uk. I moved from a large town, the largest. A village is a village the whole world over, good points and bad points, just like suburbs, towns and cities, it's horses for courses, if this isn't your course, it just isn't good luck with whatever you decide Cal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30038 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 s horses for courses, if this isn't your course,Cal Some folk find it a steeplechase, other 2 milers find it to be only 8 furlongs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I think us Aussies are very tribal- if you don't join things , whether sport, hobbies, church, school councils, committees, service clubs, work groups or just about anything that interests you, you won't fit in. I would say this is one of the most tribal countries on earth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fish.01 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 To all the Melbourne posters suggesting he move to Melbourne to escape the humidity. We are just coming out of winter. It has barely rained for months. It has been mostly all low humidity dry sunny days with crisp mornings rising to around 20c...you could not get better daytime weather for outdoor activity....a Melbourne summer would be far hotter and more uncomfortable so that obviously would not suit either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fish.01 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I think us Aussies are very tribal- if you don't join things , whether sport, hobbies, church, school councils, committees, service clubs, work groups or just about anything that interests you, you won't fit in. I would say this is one of the most tribal countries on earth. I'm sure about 300 other countries say exactly the same thing about themselves :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fish.01 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 You sound as though you should try Tasmania - the best place in Oz for doing physical activity without dissolving into a pool of sweat and looking like a boiled beetroot. We do get "climate refugees" from Queensland :yes: We moved here because my English mother couldn't stand the heat and humidity on the north coast of NSW - but she loved it here. And we here in Hobart have one third the rainfall of southern Queensland :biggrin: Running and cycling (both road and mountainbiking) are very big here and the surf is not always packed as only the really committed ones surf through the cooler months (in wetsuits). I'm not an expert on gyms but there are a lot of gyms around and the one attached to the Aquatic Centre where I swim regularly seems well equipped: http://www.hobartcity.com.au/Recreation/The_Hobart_Aquatic_Centre/Fitness_Domain Other outdoor activities like orienteering, rowing, kayaking, rock climbing etc. are also very accessible here - there's water and mountains wherever you go. The new arrivals here seem to find the locals very friendly and chatty. But of course it may be out of the question for your wife :sad: You may get the typical Queensland reaction.."It's too cold!!" But all that stuff is here and it's not too cold :biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fish.01 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 You know I would move down to one of the Southern States quicksmart if I were you. Victoria, Tasmania or even Adelaide would be very different and you certainly wouldn't be dripping in sweat in Melbourne( more rugged up against the cool weather) Heaps of cyclists in Melbourne and no village mentality. How would Adelaide, Victoria, Tasmania be "very different" to Brisbane? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 To all the Melbourne posters suggesting he move to Melbourne to escape the humidity. We are just coming out of winter. It has barely rained for months. It has been mostly all low humidity dry sunny days with crisp mornings rising to around 20c...you could not get better daytime weather for outdoor activity....a Melbourne summer would be far hotter and more uncomfortable so that obviously would not suit either. After 7 years in Melbourne it's still a lot cooler than up here lol x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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