Sunshine111 Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 Hello all, Seems funny now being the other side of the fence so to speak, now we are finally back in the UK. We agonised over the decision to leave Perth which started last Christmas after having yet another very lonely & too hot a Christmas day! We went back and forth on the decision & found forums helpful & sometimes not, everytime I read something negative about the Uk!! Felt fear... what if we weren't doing the right thing? Hubby and I both felt the same & have x2 boys one of x1 yrs & x1 of 5 yrs with no family in Oz, both boys born in Perth & first x3 years in Perth were great, new lifestyle, new culture & we had our first son keeping us busy but last year, after 5 yrs we just started to question... did we want to be here for the rest of our lives? where do we want to be in 5, 10 or 20 yrs and the conclusion was not Perth. Though we didn't regret moving there and had spent 5 yrs previous in Nz. We just had this huge pull to go home.... Can't explain it except to say it I think came down to a sense of belonging and probably since having our 2nd son and a combination of other factors including hubby's job not working (long story not a good company to work for, especially from a Staff moral perspective!) and frustrations with the early childhood system - I had a 5 yr old doing only x2 days a week at school because he was born in July, yet him lurving school and clearly ready for full time. I understand some kids arent but some are & what is available for those kids apart from daycare? which he didn't like because for the most part all the other kids were 3 yrs old. Also set out making new friends with our 2nd son, playgroups/music groups etc & found it strangely hard to make friends/bonds and I guess along with cost of living and the fact we actually ran out of places & things to do that interested us.... it seemed we just outgrew Perth. Everyone is different and I am only talking for myself and our family. Things happen for a reason and perhaps last year things just came to ahead for us, I am glad in a way because it made the decision to return a heck of alot easier! Of course the other thing is we started out 10 yrs ago as a couple of backpackers, travelled around Oz, had a fabulous time & met some wonderful people, I guess since having the kids we have changed as have our priorities. So in essence we just felt we weren't happy and quite frankly felt downright miserable so going back to the UK, we really seemed to have nothing to lose, so to speak. Except when we thought of the Uk we thought of doom & gloom and hadn't really heard any success stories of people going back. Everyone we told had an opinion even the Electrician who came out to do our smoke alarms... "youll be back he said!" So anyway, we did our research. Worked out what we liked about Perth what we didn't like about the Uk and why we left and put it into google. We did not feel our hometown could offer us what we wanted, been away 10 yrs and are very different people. Also, worked out what were our fears & how were we going to combat them....? So after all that rollercoaster of emotion before arrivinhg back... fear, worry, stress, guess what... we are LURVING being home & in actually fact, I think blew it out of proportion. That is not to say that the UK doesn't have problems but am so glad we took the leap of faith, because I think that is what it comes down to. You can't know all the answers & so long as you have done your homework,worked out what you are willing to compromise on & try best you can, to work out what you are going to be up against and how you are going to combat it. You also need to have faith in yourself and believe it can be done and once the honeymoon period has worn off, workout what actually you want to achieve in 2, 5, 10 yrs. You do need a little roadmap, for when it all catches up with you & you think, right have moved back, now what..?! what does "quality life" actually mean......? Different things to different people I am sure but for us how wonderful it is, to have family an hour away in 2-3 different directions (mine is blended as I think they call it now!) so we can just jump in the car. Also picking up with friendships that got lost along the way & feeling like you haven't been away! Am amazed at where we are and the community and goodwill out there, countryside, open space, how great facilities are for children (even when weather doesn;t suit being outside - another thing I struggled with, with Perth, on a baking hot day, where were you suppose to go with the kids that was air conditioned and didn't cost an arm&leg?!) I could go on.. I guess my point is, we have found that we didn't need to go to the other side of the world to find what we were looking for... By all means leave the UK for an adventure or a change of lifestyle and I guess it depends on what you are leaving behind in the UK but for us, it is fantastic to be back and be looking at the UK through different eyes... Yes, I am sure there will be challenges along the way it is early days for us & yes the UK isn't in its best state economically but I believe with alot of hardwork we will get there and plus we are somewhere we really want to be....... Just got to look outside the square. Good luck with whatever you decide. Oz to Uk and Uk to Oz I have no regrets either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scmercer Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 Hi We too have been back in the UK for 2 weeks. It must be great to know you made the right choice to come back and that you are feeling settled. I am still not sure if we have done the right thing. We came back as we wanted our children to grow up around family and in Adelaide we felt a little isolated. It is so nice being back around family and friends and it is nice for everything to feel familiar, but I haven't had that feeling yet where I know for sure I have made the right decision, I think I was hoping that as soon as we landed I would feel at home and know we had done the right thing, as I always felt homesick whilst we were in Australia. At the moment I can't stop thinking about Australia, I am sure it just takes time though and two weeks isn't long. It was nice to read your post though. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MSTO Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 Great post Sunshine, glad everything has worked out well for you and long may it continue. We have been back 14 months now and still love being here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gypsy6 Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 Thank you for your lovely post Sunshine111. We are about to move back to the Uk in a few months time. You have already listed most of the reasons of why we are coming back. We know it not going to be a bed of roses(riots and all) but we look forward to it with a sense of calm. We are coming home and thats whats matters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shelduck Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 great post sunshine... everything you have said is exactly what we are going through aswell. nice to know we are not alone lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Good to hear that you are "home" and that things are going OK - I hope they continue to go brilliantly for you and that everything falls into place. It is really interesting to look at UK with different eyes and to appreciate all that it has to offer - I think you are wise not to go back to the "home town" and now you have a new adventure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sydney Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Hello all, Seems funny now being the other side of the fence so to speak, now we are finally back in the UK. We agonised over the decision to leave Perth which started last Christmas after having yet another very lonely & too hot a Christmas day! We went back and forth on the decision & found forums helpful & sometimes not, everytime I read something negative about the Uk!! Felt fear... what if we weren't doing the right thing? Hubby and I both felt the same & have x2 boys one of x1 yrs & x1 of 5 yrs with no family in Oz, both boys born in Perth & first x3 years in Perth were great, new lifestyle, new culture & we had our first son keeping us busy but last year, after 5 yrs we just started to question... did we want to be here for the rest of our lives? where do we want to be in 5, 10 or 20 yrs and the conclusion was not Perth. Though we didn't regret moving there and had spent 5 yrs previous in Nz. We just had this huge pull to go home.... Can't explain it except to say it I think came down to a sense of belonging and probably since having our 2nd son and a combination of other factors including hubby's job not working (long story not a good company to work for, especially from a Staff moral perspective!) and frustrations with the early childhood system - I had a 5 yr old doing only x2 days a week at school because he was born in July, yet him lurving school and clearly ready for full time. I understand some kids arent but some are & what is available for those kids apart from daycare? which he didn't like because for the most part all the other kids were 3 yrs old. Also set out making new friends with our 2nd son, playgroups/music groups etc & found it strangely hard to make friends/bonds and I guess along with cost of living and the fact we actually ran out of places & things to do that interested us.... it seemed we just outgrew Perth. Everyone is different and I am only talking for myself and our family. Things happen for a reason and perhaps last year things just came to ahead for us, I am glad in a way because it made the decision to return a heck of alot easier! Of course the other thing is we started out 10 yrs ago as a couple of backpackers, travelled around Oz, had a fabulous time & met some wonderful people, I guess since having the kids we have changed as have our priorities. So in essence we just felt we weren't happy and quite frankly felt downright miserable so going back to the UK, we really seemed to have nothing to lose, so to speak. Except when we thought of the Uk we thought of doom & gloom and hadn't really heard any success stories of people going back. Everyone we told had an opinion even the Electrician who came out to do our smoke alarms... "youll be back he said!" So anyway, we did our research. Worked out what we liked about Perth what we didn't like about the Uk and why we left and put it into google. We did not feel our hometown could offer us what we wanted, been away 10 yrs and are very different people. Also, worked out what were our fears & how were we going to combat them....? So after all that rollercoaster of emotion before arrivinhg back... fear, worry, stress, guess what... we are LURVING being home & in actually fact, I think blew it out of proportion. That is not to say that the UK doesn't have problems but am so glad we took the leap of faith, because I think that is what it comes down to. You can't know all the answers & so long as you have done your homework,worked out what you are willing to compromise on & try best you can, to work out what you are going to be up against and how you are going to combat it. You also need to have faith in yourself and believe it can be done and once the honeymoon period has worn off, workout what actually you want to achieve in 2, 5, 10 yrs. You do need a little roadmap, for when it all catches up with you & you think, right have moved back, now what..?! what does "quality life" actually mean......? Different things to different people I am sure but for us how wonderful it is, to have family an hour away in 2-3 different directions (mine is blended as I think they call it now!) so we can just jump in the car. Also picking up with friendships that got lost along the way & feeling like you haven't been away! Am amazed at where we are and the community and goodwill out there, countryside, open space, how great facilities are for children (even when weather doesn;t suit being outside - another thing I struggled with, with Perth, on a baking hot day, where were you suppose to go with the kids that was air conditioned and didn't cost an arm&leg?!) I could go on.. I guess my point is, we have found that we didn't need to go to the other side of the world to find what we were looking for... By all means leave the UK for an adventure or a change of lifestyle and I guess it depends on what you are leaving behind in the UK but for us, it is fantastic to be back and be looking at the UK through different eyes... Yes, I am sure there will be challenges along the way it is early days for us & yes the UK isn't in its best state economically but I believe with alot of hardwork we will get there and plus we are somewhere we really want to be....... Just got to look outside the square. Good luck with whatever you decide. Oz to Uk and Uk to Oz I have no regrets either way. Good luck mate, sounds like you have put much thought into into your move, and you sound confident in the next phase of your life. It's also refreshing to hear of someone returning to the UK without blaming Australia for not being perfect as many on here do. The fact you traveled around Australia and had knowledge of the country before settling makes a huge difference compared to some poor bugger getting of the plane with the fam' in tow after watching a couple of these reality shows on the Gold Coast/Sunshine Coast etc...........Good luck.........Syd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sh7t man no way Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 nice thread sunshine--ave a great life:notworthy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine111 Posted August 27, 2011 Author Share Posted August 27, 2011 Hi We too have been back in the UK for 2 weeks. It must be great to know you made the right choice to come back and that you are feeling settled. I am still not sure if we have done the right thing. We came back as we wanted our children to grow up around family and in Adelaide we felt a little isolated. It is so nice being back around family and friends and it is nice for everything to feel familiar, but I haven't had that feeling yet where I know for sure I have made the right decision, I think I was hoping that as soon as we landed I would feel at home and know we had done the right thing, as I always felt homesick whilst we were in Australia. At the moment I can't stop thinking about Australia, I am sure it just takes time though and two weeks isn't long. It was nice to read your post though. Good luck! I have read that it takes up to 18 mths to really settle. Something like reverse culture shock takes a hit & maybe reality of it all, giving that you live and breath the thought of going home. Once you are back, it maybe a case of what next...? I think because we have travelled around Oz we know there is nothing there that could offer us what we want. Also we have moved to a completely new area, so that in itself is an adventure! We did leave the Uk for a reason & perhaps if we had moved back to our home town it might have been more challenging. You change alot as people when you make such a big move and maybe for some to pick up the old life is what creates ping pongers.... who know? Goodluck with everything, it will come together, I am sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 What a great post - and in my opinion what the moving back to the UK section should be about - people talking about their experience and people accepting it as such. Wondeful to know that you're feeling settled - hope the return home doesn't mean you'll stop posting - you'll certainly be able to offer advice and support to other possible returnees. Thanks - Ali x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lismith25 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 What a fab read Sunshine, so glad you are feeling it was the right decision. I feel we may be in a similar boat in a few years, but have decided to give Oz another shot on the Sunny Coast first. We have a similar story of travelled first, been here for 8years and now have 2 queesland bubbies, but the draw of "home" is still very strong and we have just been back for 8weeks:eek: which did little to stop the feelings. Can I ask where you were before? and where are you have moved to now? Good luck with everything and please keep posting with your progress. Lis:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Good luck mate, sounds like you have put much thought into into your move, and you sound confident in the next phase of your life. It's also refreshing to hear of someone returning to the UK without blaming Australia for not being perfect as many on here do. The fact you traveled around Australia and had knowledge of the country before settling makes a huge difference compared to some poor bugger getting of the plane with the fam' in tow after watching a couple of these reality shows on the Gold Coast/Sunshine Coast etc...........Good luck.........Syd. TBH what is wrong with that? People have feelings both negative and positive. They don't all necessarily have to agree with yours. I think it's quite natural to vent negative feelings about a country that you've spent so much time, money, emotions and energy to get to, only to feel unhappy. That is partly what MBTTUK is for, as sometimes there's no one else prepared to listen if you're struggling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sh7t man no way Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 TBH what is wrong with that? People have feelings both negative and positive. They don't all necessarily have to agree with yours. I think it's quite natural to vent negative feelings about a country that you've spent so much time, money, emotions and energy to get to, only to feel unhappy. That is partly what MBTTUK is for, as sometimes there's no one else prepared to listen if you're struggling.well said harpo--i sometimes think some people feel alone with there thoughts when so far away from trusted loved one in the uk,and its good that MBTTUK is a part of pio--sometimes in a county so far away from your homeland you need some point of reference like MBTTUK just to make some sense about how you feel on certain subjects regarding australia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 This is a great post and thanks for sharing. We have moved about a lot, UK, then 15 years in Italy, then 2 more in UK and now here in Sydney since last Monday!! I already know that Oz isn't going to be our last resting place.... I feel European and will want to go back to a European county in a few years time. It is good to have a loose roadmap as you say, and to keep a few options alive in the back of your mind. Being able to relocate and cope makes you a stronger person, and able to adapt to many other areas in life I think. So all in all the moving around the world can be stressful but pays dividends in the end. I aim to enjoy my time here in Oz as much as possible, for how ever long it will be!! and I also look forward to returning to Europe in whichever county that may be at some point in the future!!! Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaraBond Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 TBH what is wrong with that? People have feelings both negative and positive. They don't all necessarily have to agree with yours. I think it's quite natural to vent negative feelings about a country that you've spent so much time, money, emotions and energy to get to, only to feel unhappy. That is partly what MBTTUK is for, as sometimes there's no one else prepared to listen if you're struggling. Well said Harpodom. I would like to add that it is also useful for people thinking of moving to OZ to know what to expect in this country - good and bad. Media is always painting a rosy picture of life in OZ and there is nowhere except perhaps on this forum to find the negatives. And yet it is ever so important to know them when making decisions whether to move countries or not - it is such a big move involving, as you said, a great outlay of resources. I have been watching with sadness and despair how some people on the forum have been continuously attacked for telling some negative experiences about their life in OZ yet they have been only trying to help others to make their decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
landv Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 TBH what is wrong with that? People have feelings both negative and positive. They don't all necessarily have to agree with yours. I think it's quite natural to vent negative feelings about a country that you've spent so much time, money, emotions and energy to get to, only to feel unhappy. That is partly what MBTTUK is for, as sometimes there's no one else prepared to listen if you're struggling. Totally agree. So what if people blame Australia? Sometimes, shock horror, it is not the individuals' fault that it doesn't work, but an accumulation of many things australian or the way it is. On occasion, I certanly do feel let down in some respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sydney Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Totally agree. So what if people blame Australia? Sometimes, shock horror, it is not the individuals' fault that it doesn't work, but an accumulation of many things australian or the way it is.On occasion, I certanly do feel let down in some respect. Read the above posts and a wee bit puzzled about "blaming Australia". Also wonder why you feel "let down" and would be interested to read why you feel that way. I don't expect everyone to agree with me and I enjoy discussion/banter on here, especially those who return to the UK because they miss the BAFTAS/pork pies/warm beer/brown sauce etc. Many people return to the UK for all sorts of reasons, I just can't see why they have to blame the country if it's not for them. Apologies if some of my comments have been taken personally, but it's difficult after a couple of wines not to react to the poor beast that complains about Oz after only being in the country for six weeks and thinks he'll go home because he doesn't know anyone, or the chappy who misses his holiday home in Turkey, and my personal favourite is the couple who missed benefits and the NHS. Australia really is still a country of opportunity, and some may do well and some won't, but the trend to blame the country still makes me laugh, and whether you're in agreement or not, you must admit we read some poor/weak excuses for returning to the UK. This site gives invaluable info to those returning to the UK, e.g. freight issues, getting a UK drivers license etc, and the banter can be quite interesting, but if some Scotsman can't live without his deep fried pie, or some little Pommy bloke prefers cod and chips instead of a BBQ and sees that as a reason for returning to the UK then I genuinely believe they should go home ASAP...Syd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Read the above posts and a wee bit puzzled about "blaming Australia". Also wonder why you feel "let down" and would be interested to read why you feel that way. I don't expect everyone to agree with me and I enjoy discussion/banter on here, especially those who return to the UK because they miss the BAFTAS/pork pies/warm beer/brown sauce etc. Many people return to the UK for all sorts of reasons, I just can't see why they have to blame the country if it's not for them. Apologies if some of my comments have been taken personally, but it's difficult after a couple of wines not to react to the poor beast that complains about Oz after only being in the country for six weeks and thinks he'll go home because he doesn't know anyone, or the chappy who misses his holiday home in Turkey, and my personal favourite is the couple who missed benefits and the NHS. Australia really is still a country of opportunity, and some may do well and some won't, but the trend to blame the country still makes me laugh, and whether you're in agreement or not, you must admit we read some poor/weak excuses for returning to the UK. This site gives invaluable info to those returning to the UK, e.g. freight issues, getting a UK drivers license etc, and the banter can be quite interesting, but if some Scotsman can't live without his deep fried pie, or some little Pommy bloke prefers cod and chips instead of a BBQ and sees that as a reason for returning to the UK then I genuinely believe they should go home ASAP...Syd. Who are you to judge people's reasons to return to the uk? The tone of your post is really quite unpleasant. If it riles you that much to read about what you regard as "poor/weak excuses for returning to the UK" then I suggest you ignore mbttuk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ggardemma Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 [/b] Read the above posts and a wee bit puzzled about "blaming Australia". Also wonder why you feel "let down" and would be interested to read why you feel that way. I don't expect everyone to agree with me and I enjoy discussion/banter on here, especially those who return to the UK because they miss the BAFTAS/pork pies/warm beer/brown sauce etc. Many people return to the UK for all sorts of reasons, I just can't see why they have to blame the country if it's not for them. Apologies if some of my comments have been taken personally, but it's difficult after a couple of wines not to react to the poor beast that complains about Oz after only being in the country for six weeks and thinks he'll go home because he doesn't know anyone, or the chappy who misses his holiday home in Turkey, and my personal favourite is the couple who missed benefits and the NHS. Australia really is still a country of opportunity, and some may do well and some won't, but the trend to blame the country still makes me laugh, and whether you're in agreement or not, you must admit we read some poor/weak excuses for returning to the UK. This site gives invaluable info to those returning to the UK, e.g. freight issues, getting a UK drivers license etc, and the banter can be quite interesting, but if some Scotsman can't live without his deep fried pie, or some little Pommy bloke prefers cod and chips instead of a BBQ and sees that as a reason for returning to the UK then I genuinely believe they should go home ASAP...Syd. MBTTUK is a great help and source of information for those that return to the UK and to those on the move over. I'm sure that people do not return solely because of a 'deep fried pie'!!! Your reaction to us that move back is quite derogatory. People move back for much more complex reasons and the decision to return is usually a very hard one at that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest37336 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 The so called ridiculous excuses/reasons for returning to the UK often run far deeper than the initial misgivings. To say that you may be missing a certain sphere of life (however mundane) to the reader may at first seem silly in the extreme. But you will often find these 'banal' reasons hide a far deeper reason why people choose to return to the the UK. Some people just don't want to go into any greater detail about the reasons and just put a reason down that was the straw that broke the camels back as it were. I often read many posts on here that at first glance seem infantile in the extreme, but more often than not some of these reasons hide a mindset that has just 'Had Enough' and a return to the UK is the inevitable and correct course of action to take. Cheers Tone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus1 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I can only echo what's been mentioned in the previous couple of posts, that I suspect in many cases, there's other unmentioned reasons why people may be returning, but they may not want to share those reasons publicly, which is perfectly within their rights, and anyway even if people wanted to move back to the UK for chips, sauce whatever ,then good luck to them, it doesn't effect my life here in Australia in any way shape or form, so why ridicule? It's takes character to move across to the other side of the world in the first place and it's probably no walk in the park moving all the way back again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunni1234 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 :yes::yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
landv Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 [/b] Read the above posts and a wee bit puzzled about "blaming Australia". Also wonder why you feel "let down" and would be interested to read why you feel that way.. Honestly..... I'm not gonna waste my breath. Because judging by your posts, you're not the sort of person who would understand... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sydney Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Who are you to judge people's reasons to return to the uk? The tone of your post is really quite unpleasant. If it riles you that much to read about what you regard as "poor/weak excuses for returning to the UK" then I suggest you ignore mbttuk. I'm not judging anyone mate. And I do think some of the reasons people cite for returning to the UK are ridiculous. Some of them shouldn't venture past Benidorm to be frank. I've even gone as far to advise would be Pommy emigrants against reading this website in case they're put off from coming to Australia by some of the comments by "returnees" to good ol' Blighty. Get on with your life son, and lets just agree to disagree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest57588 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I'm not judging anyone mate. And I do think some of the reasons people cite for returning to the UK are ridiculous. Some of them shouldn't venture past Benidorm to be frank. I've even gone as far to advise would be Pommy emigrants against reading this website in case they're put off from coming to Australia by some of the comments by "returnees" to good ol' Blighty. Get on with your life son, and lets just agree to disagree. Mate, try and walk in someone else's shoes on this one. You might think people's reasons for going back to the UK are banal but it's someone's life you're talking about here. I've been happy here for 16 years, but on Saturday nights I still miss a curry and Match of The Day. Sometimes it's the little things which reveal the deeper feelings beneath. If the content of this forum offends you, then it might be better to give it a miss and post on CTF or NGAC where the content is a bit more knockabout. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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