mrsindecision Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 HI all most of you will be familiar with our story about returning to Uk for better opportunities and education for the kids and ourselves. We know it was a head decision and had timing not been critical we might have stayed for another couple of years. But I was afraid the longer we stayed the harder it would be to leave and you start to compromise on yourself. So we're back and things here have changed - thankfully. We have moved to a town 20 minutes away from where we last lived with the kids (20yrs).Its a beautiful part of Uk. Unemployment extremely low, near London good job prospects. Friends and family are really happy to have us back and truthfully even family have changed and improved ( maybe its my rose tinted glasses) or maybe I have changed and am less judgemental but we are having lovely times hanging out with them and I love having my Mum near by. But I really do miss the blue sky and cleanliness of Oz more than anything. Not the heat flies etc. I keep wanting to run back to a place of safety ( which I thought UK was) but realise this is a bit of a fantasy in my head. It might help to know that we have left our eldest out there and I am pretty bereft without him. The kids here are up and down as would be expected. 15 year old better as she has hooked up with some old friends and really enjoys being with her Nans and cousins but misses her friends in Oz badly. My 19 year old is bored - hooked up with a few old mates but most have moved on and he is just waiting to start uni in September. I just keep wanting to make everything right for them but cant - we all have to go through this period of re-adjustment. I am sure everyone goes through it to an extent after about a month - I am hoping it's not just us destined to live in limbo land. I just keep telling myself we have to be here for four years to see the kids through their next stage of life and then we can go anywhere including back to oz if we want. Hoping others have gone through something similar and can tell me how long it can take before felling some kind of normal again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 You are looking at winter coming along in 8 weeks or so Mrs D.... the nights will be drawing in and you will be thinking of Christmas. :santadance:Try and give yourself some breathing space, you have gone through the mill, moving even if its next door is stressful and you are bound to be feeling in limbo. In 6 months time hopefully you will have settled and if you havent what the hell, the planes still fly over here:wink:... now who will you be barracking for on November 25th...lst test match in Brisbane? Enjoy your surroundings Susie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 Dont you dare!:policeman: Remember how oppressive the clear blue skies were - day after day after bloody day! Remember how the sterility of new builds was just so characterless and boring! Remember the flies and the mozzies! Remember the boring native flora (think about spring with hosts of golden daffodils at every turn) Remember the lack of buzz (no I dont mean the flies) and the lack of sense of community You will feel better when you are a family altogether again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 You are bound to feel strange especially with your eldest being over here. All your friends and family are there but of course they cannot possibly understand what you have been/are going through and trying to explain is futile I think. Your meet ups in Norwich in October will help you, the anticlimax of it all is bound to be hard. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaniaColin Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 I feel exactly the same, i know i have a few years left on our visas so not given up on Oz completely yet, might try somewhere different next time and certainly do things differently. Best of luck Tania x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsindecision Posted August 5, 2010 Author Share Posted August 5, 2010 Dont you dare!:policeman: Remember how oppressive the clear blue skies were - day after day after bloody day! Remember how the sterility of new builds was just so characterless and boring! Remember the flies and the mozzies! Remember the boring native flora (think about spring with hosts of golden daffodils at every turn) Remember the lack of buzz (no I dont mean the flies) and the lack of sense of community You will feel better when you are a family altogether again! Very good Quoll I need a good talking to:biggrin: Over night things look a little different, middle son had lots of contact from old friends yesterday -so out and about, same with younger one. I know ping ponging would put us right back where we were - so will have to go through the ups and downs we will experience here until we're properly settled. Had a night in our new local last night and left with a whole load of new friends (very small pub!!). Think it will be OK especially when we get our stuff,and eldest back. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 You have to sort it out in the head. For me I love to visit the UK and we were blessed with the weather whilst there and it was great but give me wide roads new builds clear skies alone in the countryside freedom, everywhere we went in the uk everyone else went to.:laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 As has been said you are bound to feel odd for awhile as you have to readjust to life back home. All you have to do is remember why you left Australia in the first place, those things wont have miraculously changed in your absence. Just look around you at the beautiful architecture, wonderful pubs and old friends. :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 If we go back will we be going back to the same old, same old? It's a funny thing being here in oz as you watch shows on tv showing the beauty of the uk. I have been watching a tv programme on sat evening, can't remember the name of it, some bloke going around the outskirts of uk. It was funny as the other week he was going around Devon and Cornwall and there were many beaches we knew, and I am convinced that every shot had been photo enhanced as when we were there the sea was never as blue, and the sand was never as golden. It did make me think of our old lives back in the uk, but it also made me laugh watching a photo enhanced version of our old lives. Things are always greener on the other side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcatania Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 If we go back will we be going back to the same old, same old? It's a funny thing being here in oz as you watch shows on tv showing the beauty of the uk. I have been watching a tv programme on sat evening, can't remember the name of it, some bloke going around the outskirts of uk. It was funny as the other week he was going around Devon and Cornwall and there were many beaches we knew, and I am convinced that every shot had been photo enhanced as when we were there the sea was never as blue, and the sand was never as golden. It did make me think of our old lives back in the uk, but it also made me laugh watching a photo enhanced version of our old lives. Things are always greener on the other side. I watched that Coast programme too, one series was filmed around the coast of Scotland where I was from. You do, for some reason, just drop everything and stop and watch, take it all in and wonder ' WTF did I come here for?.. that is home'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 Yes I think that is quite normal, when you move your subconscious tells you that everything was dark and grey and colourless, it is a coping mechanism. If we go back will we be going back to the same old, same old? It's a funny thing being here in oz as you watch shows on tv showing the beauty of the uk. I have been watching a tv programme on sat evening, can't remember the name of it, some bloke going around the outskirts of uk. It was funny as the other week he was going around Devon and Cornwall and there were many beaches we knew, and I am convinced that every shot had been photo enhanced as when we were there the sea was never as blue, and the sand was never as golden. It did make me think of our old lives back in the uk, but it also made me laugh watching a photo enhanced version of our old lives. Things are always greener on the other side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
l1sa Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 You have to sort it out in the head. For me I love to visit the UK and we were blessed with the weather whilst there and it was great but give me wide roads new builds clear skies alone in the countryside freedom, everywhere we went in the uk everyone else went to.:laugh: I absolutely love this post!!! Well said!! We went to one of the UKs theme parks last week and as you can well imagine, EVERYBODY and their dog and their neighbour and their entire family also went there. they even had queue boards up for the toilets. "20 minute wait to evacuate your bladder!!!" (ok that was a slight exageration, but we did have to queue) So we queued for 60mins to get on one ride that lasts 3 minutes!! But, not only did we queue for the rides and toilets, we queued to get into the park, we queued on the M25 and the M1 to get there, hell we even queued in the flippin petrol station before we left our home town!! Give me Wide Roads, and freedom too, I'm feeling rather claustrophobic! :arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 We went to Movieworld 2 weeks ago, we queued to get in and then we queued for 1 1/2 hours to get our photo taken for our annual passes, then we queued for food which cost a fortune and we queued for the rides. To be honest wide roads didn't make the queueing any easier. :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 Answer to queuing in Aus, keep on the wide road and head out to the country or if in Vic drive to 90 mile beach and walk alone no crowds, wonderful. When I was first married in the UK my oh said he would take me to a waterfall he visited as a child and it was lovely. When we got there it was packed, people everywhere and spoilt the whole feeling of countryside. I know people are entitled to go of course they are but I have the good luck to live in a country where I can still find a little spot of being on our own to listen to the birds and the sounds of the bush without chatter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 We went to Movieworld 2 weeks ago, we queued to get in and then we queued for 1 1/2 hours to get our photo taken for our annual passes, then we queued for food which cost a fortune and we queued for the rides. To be honest wide roads didn't make the queueing any easier. :biggrin: How many theme parks are in the whole of Australia Chris....? just remind me again. The roads may be big and open but that's no real comfort if you have to drive for 10+ hours to get there (you could always fly I suppose) Less than 3 weeks......:jiggy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 Dont you dare!:policeman: Remember how oppressive the clear blue skies were - day after day after bloody day! Remember how the sterility of new builds was just so characterless and boring! Remember the flies and the mozzies! Remember the boring native flora (think about spring with hosts of golden daffodils at every turn) Remember the lack of buzz (no I dont mean the flies) and the lack of sense of community You will feel better when you are a family altogether again! I've got quite a lot of daffodils and roses in my garden on the Sunny Coast. Of course a lot of native flora is different to UK, but I love the contrast of being able to grow familiar and local plants in one place. I think perhaps the longer you are away from the UK, the more familiar things become. It's understandable that many people don't feel at home here after perhaps only a few years, if you have spent most of your life in familiar surroundings in UK. One of the strangest things is going to the local shops and not recognising a single face. Having previously lived in Asia for many years, even though i love having daffs etc. now in the garden I am more used to tropical plants, so miss them when I visit UK. So you can't win, just be happy where ever you decide to live, just because one place doesn't suit you, please don't become bitter about it, a lot depends on where you settle and who you meet. We have been made so welcome here, but moved to an area, more by luck than good judgement, where people from all over the world have moved to, so most are here by choice, and love it, and are prepared to welcome newcomers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 And Ramot, it depends on your state doesnt it... I have an abundance of spring flowers, crocuses , daffs, tulips, crisp blue skies, gorgeous old buildings, fantastic native flora and fauna and an amazing community spirit.:biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 I've got quite a lot of daffodils and roses in my garden on the Sunny Coast. Of course a lot of native flora is different to UK, but I love the contrast of being able to grow familiar and local plants in one place. I think perhaps the longer you are away from the UK, the more familiar things become. It's understandable that many people don't feel at home here after perhaps only a few years, if you have spent most of your life in familiar surroundings in UK. One of the strangest things is going to the local shops and not recognising a single face.Having previously lived in Asia for many years, even though i love having daffs etc. now in the garden I am more used to tropical plants, so miss them when I visit UK. So you can't win, just be happy where ever you decide to live, just because one place doesn't suit you, please don't become bitter about it, a lot depends on where you settle and who you meet. We have been made so welcome here, but moved to an area, more by luck than good judgement, where people from all over the world have moved to, so most are here by choice, and love it, and are prepared to welcome newcomers. LOL been here over 30 years and hate the native flora with a passion (wattle makes me sneeze), familiarity has bred contempt in my case, nasty rangy plants with insignificant flowers mostly - I do like the frangipani (which we cant grow here) and the angels trumpet (ditto). Canberra hasnt done well with the drought to be sure and over the past few years our daffs have suffered - also from the vandals who nip the heads off as they pass by on the nature strip but hopefully they will bloom again this year (might need to shoot the bloody cockatoos though). Last year I was in UK in March/April and have seen nothing like the abundance of daffs in the hedgerows approaching most villages - for me it was totally heart lightening and I can imagine the joy on emerging from winter for most of the people lucky enough to pass them by every day. My home town used to be the home of the daffs along the Backs but in the last 20 years since I have been there in spring there has been a concerted effort to plant bulbs - and to my amazement, the level of vandalism was close to zero wherever I went. This was a response to the OP who doesnt particularly want to become a pingponger so suggestions which validate her rationale for staying are most welcome I am sure:yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 I too have dafs out in the garden and the bluebells are coming up now. I have a lot of camelias and they are a picture at the minute. The rhodos will soon start to come out too and I have several of them as well. Best of both worlds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 Well there aren't that many and most are within driving distance of us. We took our boys to Seaworld today and it was packed. Took us about 25 minutes to get from the car park to the main road to the highway which is about 2 k's I suppose. Why do these parks always charge so much for food ? Wouldn't it make more sense to charge less and sell more ? How many theme parks are in the whole of Australia Chris....? just remind me again. The roads may be big and open but that's no real comfort if you have to drive for 10+ hours to get there (you could always fly I suppose) Less than 3 weeks......:jiggy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salma Posted August 9, 2010 Share Posted August 9, 2010 Well there aren't that many and most are within driving distance of us. We took our boys to Seaworld today and it was packed. Took us about 25 minutes to get from the car park to the main road to the highway which is about 2 k's I suppose. Why do these parks always charge so much for food ? Wouldn't it make more sense to charge less and sell more ? captive audience like cinemas, people need to eat and will pay the inflated prices! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metoo Posted August 9, 2010 Share Posted August 9, 2010 Remember how oppressive the clear blue skies were - day after day after bloody day! I remember the fantastic weather, everytime you went out it was lovely and you could plan ahead. Remember how the sterility of new builds was just so characterless and boring! I remember how tidy the housing was, not the rubbish, rabbit hutch housing that is prevalent in the UK. Remember the flies and the mozzies! I remember all the insects that give a fantastic chorus in the evenings. Remember the boring native flora (think about spring with hosts of golden daffodils at every turn) I remember the lovely tropical plants, and the fact you can grow just about anything in the sunny climate. Remember the lack of buzz (no I dont mean the flies) and the lack of sense of community There was always a buzz where I was, (Sydney, northern beaches) and a good sense of community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nenniwren Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Hi, we are currently tossing up what to do. I am Australian, my husband is English (raised in Oz) and after living in the UK for 6 years we decided to move our kids back to Australia last year due to family guilt. The kids are now aged 15, 12, 10. A year back and we miss the UK. The big question is what to do about the eldest and school if we do go back to the UK. We still have a house over there, as it wouldn't sell and that seems to help in the decision making process. But any help in the schooling thing would be great. He is an August baby which meant he finished year 9 in the UK and went back into year 8 here. If we went back, how does that affect pathway choices? Any help would be good. In regards to one side of the world or the other. Coming home has made us realise even more that England is only a day away, which when we get in the car and drive north to my mum's on the North Coast of NSW is about the same time it takes to see her now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Remember how oppressive the clear blue skies were - day after day after bloody day! I remember the fantastic weather, everytime you went out it was lovely and you could plan ahead. Remember how the sterility of new builds was just so characterless and boring! I remember how tidy the housing was, not the rubbish, rabbit hutch housing that is prevalent in the UK. Remember the flies and the mozzies! I remember all the insects that give a fantastic chorus in the evenings. Remember the boring native flora (think about spring with hosts of golden daffodils at every turn) I remember the lovely tropical plants, and the fact you can grow just about anything in the sunny climate. Remember the lack of buzz (no I dont mean the flies) and the lack of sense of community There was always a buzz where I was, (Sydney, northern beaches) and a good sense of community. Ah, been away a while huh and got the rose tints on? Never mind, the OP will be happy with all support to stop her pingponging I am sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metoo Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Hi, we are currently tossing up what to do. I am Australian, my husband is English (raised in Oz) and after living in the UK for 6 years we decided to move our kids back to Australia last year due to family guilt. The kids are now aged 15, 12, 10. A year back and we miss the UK. The big question is what to do about the eldest and school if we do go back to the UK. We still have a house over there, as it wouldn't sell and that seems to help in the decision making process. But any help in the schooling thing would be great. He is an August baby which meant he finished year 9 in the UK and went back into year 8 here. If we went back, how does that affect pathway choices? Any help would be good. In regards to one side of the world or the other. Coming home has made us realise even more that England is only a day away, which when we get in the car and drive north to my mum's on the North Coast of NSW is about the same time it takes to see her now. When I moved to Australia with my parents after I finished school, the atitude was, we are here this is our life and we got on with it, good or bad, there was none of this sitting about and wondering through distant memories that the UK was better. I read about so many problems on this forum that people get themselves into and 2 excuses continually come up, I miss the family and "well we still have our house so we can go back any time" with these two things on your mind, you are never going to settle. I can't suggest anything about missing family apart from you know its going to be a long trip to see them, but you know that before you go. The other one is the house, that should be treated exactly what it is, a lump of your money that is still in the UK, it should be forgotton about as your home, your home is now Australia. Make the most and forget about the UK, its a fair bet that you will realise you have made a costly mistake if you go back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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